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Weather-beaten journal - item - world warcraft, Comment by mornay for all you guys and gals out there who arent level 70, a good place to get this is stonetalon mountains in the windshear crag. In order to obtain a practitioner’s perspective on this historic event, we have invited Certified Gottman Therapist Laura Silverstein to share about her experience as an attendee. My short walk to the University of Washington’s Meany Theatre for The Johnson-Gottman Summit was not unlike going to a sporting event as 1,200 people converged from every direction with palpable excitement of what was to come.
My colleagues in the audience were an array of clinicians at all different levels of training from all over the world. At the risk of gross oversimplification, much of the weekend pointed back to two main points: (1) it has been scientifically proven numerous times in numerous ways that human beings need one another, and (2) the couples in our offices are the experts on their own relationships. We’ve read the books, understand the theories, and are skilled at the interventions, yet I think as therapists we must remember that we are not the most important teachers in the room.


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Laura earned her MSW from the University of Connecticut, completed an externship at the Philadelphia Child Guidance Center, and has over 18 years of clinical experience. It seems to me that we all traveled the distance with one central question in mind: What do we need to know to give our couples the most state-of-the art expert relationship advice we can provide? We all know we need food, shelter, water, and love, but accepting this is not as easy as it may sound.
She owns a private practice in the suburbs of Philadelphia where she counsels individuals, families, and couples. Our presenters sat on two couches around a coffee table and entered into conversation as if we were all in one huge living room. In his lecture on building loyalty, John Gottman said, “We need someone in our lives whose world stops when we are in pain.” That requires one to be vulnerable and share the pain, and the other to say no to every other person who is knocking on the door at that moment.


The three of them explored the differences and similarities in their theories, at times reverent and complimentary, and at times one could feel the tension of horns locking in the passion of their perspectives. We can help by reminding people that allowing yourself to need and be needed is as important as allowing yourself permission to breathe oxygen. Sue Johnson we understand the application of Attachment Theory to relationships as a way to create connection. They are the masters, and will be able to see that when they understand it is not only perfectly fine to need love – it is to be human.
Sue Johnson –the three central pioneers in evidence-based couples therapy and relationship research shared the stage. Although we are informed by this research, the last words at the conference that were said were, “Go out and keep learning from your couples.”  They are the ones who will be providing the expert relationship advice, and we must never forget to stop listening.



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