A feature in National Geographic‘s October 125th anniversary issue looks at the changing face of America in an article by Lise Funderburg, with portraits of multiracial families by Martin Schoeller, that celebrates the beauty of multiracial diversity and shows the limitations around our current categories when talking about race.
In many ways race is about difference and how those differences are codified through language, categories, boxes, segmentation, and even the implicit sorting that goes on in our heads in terms of the way we label others and even ourselves. Appearance and identity are most certainly linked when it comes to racial categories, but there is another important ingredient in that stew: Experience. For three years now I have been collecting stories about race and cultural identity on the Race Card Project, and it has provided a window into society like no other I’ve ever experienced in more than three decades of working as a journalist. More amazing is how the exercise, over time, has opened a window for people to share much more than just their six words about who they are and what they are feeling.
The Pew study found that among newlyweds in 2010, 36 percent of Asian women married outside their race, compared with 17 percent of Asian men. The six-word tales that have poured into the Race Card Project create a portal that allows us to dive beyond the surface into the deeply nuanced issues of racial ambiguity and cultural identity. There are also those who don various identities based on convenience, advantage, or comfort. Blue-eyed teenagers who grow outsize afros to win easy (or at least easier) acceptance on the basketball court.
Asians with Irish last names who delight at seeing the faces of potential employers when they show up for job interviews. I’ve been in journalism long enough to know that people who are exceedingly happy with their lot in life are less likely to share their stories if given the chance. I think of the six words submitted by Phyllis Kedl, of Minneapolis, who could not be more proud of her multiethnic brood that includes fourteen grandkids, only five of whom are ethnically related to Phyllis and her husband. If you don’t know what I am talking about, think about the phrase “post-racial,” with its suggestion that we could take some kind of express elevator up to the top floor where the view was great, the air was clear, and no one would make you feel icky or uncomfortable.
In any case, Ali Berlinski says she uses prickly humor to talk about her eclectic upbringing.
Navigating cultures is something that National Geographic and the Race Card Project have in common, and we want to include you in our journey to better understand the changing face of America. Michele Norris is a host and special correspondent for NPR and the curator of the Race Card Project. What I don’t understand is how someone can cry over what box to tick about their race, get over yourself. I alwas thought for the longest time that I was purely black, as I knew superficially that both my mom and dad were black. I am glade that the census show that blacks are still marrying blacks but interacial marriages is on the rise .Men care less than women when it come to the race mixing it is rising with females to.
As much as I like this piece, and I really do think that it along with The Race Card Project really hit the nail on its head when discussing how nuanced race is, I wish there was more emphasis on ethnic identification and how that in itself is a manifestation of race. I’ve been considered Rwandan (I am currently in Rwandan), Burundian (because I speak French), Congolese (again because I speak French), Ugandan (because I speak English in a non-Anglophone country), Kenyan, even French Guyanese (because I was black), Surinamese (because I spoke English and was black), Guyaneses (because I was a black anglophone), Brazilian, and last but not least Trinidadian. Like I said, I bring this up just to illustrate that it is not only people who are visibily racially ambiguous who feel the identity struggle. I am white meaning Scottish, Irish, German, American Indian…and other things I am sure. Yet, people tend to think I’m Persian, or Lebanese, or Syrian, Middle Eastern in general.
Here in the US people are like i am irish, i am cuban, i am jewish, i am strong black woman, i am puerto rican, i am white. Race; each of the major divisions of mankind, each having distinct physical characteristics.
I hate it when people say mixed is better, when you’re more likely to be fetishized and pushed away by your own culture(s), not to mention you experience racism from more than one race in different ways. A great man, but we should never forget his descendants, one of whom was a successful businessman and did well during the US Civil War – Colonel John Wayles Jefferson. My mother was an award winning Siberian husky, and my father was a flea bitten Labrador mix, I was adopted from a pound to a family who adores my mixes heritage. My paternal grandmother was said to have really dark parents, both of whom were part Jewish and part African.
The New York Times had an article some years back about doctors treating patients and subscribing medication based on race.
My nine yrs old son is mix of Turkish ( Georgian, Russian, Turkish) and Italian (Jewish, Portugese, Italian) he has light skin but not fair and getting tanned very easy, has high cheek bones and slightly slant eyes but looks like a one line when he smiles :)) also tall for his age.
I have brown skin, type 4 hair, and was born in America so automatically people will call me African-American though I in no way identify with or hold the same cultural values from any group of people belonging to one of the countries in Africa. Honestly I think it’s because so few women actually do these things with guys they’ve just men. You’ll notice that the running theme with all 3 of these techniques for getting a guy to ask you out is that they all demonstrate a certain playfulness in the way you behave – and this really is the secret. The first, and perhaps most powerful of these keys to getting a guy intrigued is what I like to refer to as “the look”. Perhaps the weirdest part of my job is actually demonstrating this to women every week at my events, and at times it can be hard to put exactly what I mean when I say this into an article. But there is one major mistake that most women make when it comes to eye-contact: they don’t look long enough for it to register with a guy. Men are terrible at picking up signals of attraction from women, so what seems like a lifetime for most women might not even be enough for him to even notice you.
When you’re actually in conversation with a guy, role-playing is a great way to create a flirtatious vibe that will get any guy attracted to you. This is something I’ve written a whole section on in our ebook, but the key thing to remember is to keep things playful. By doing this you will often find yourself creating these intricate, elaborate stories, that only you two are in on, and this is where you create a real connection with a guy – a connection that will make him feel compelled to move things further with you. What I am going to share with you works on so many levels, but what I really want to focus on for this article is getting a guy to ask you out. All you need to do is finish this one sentence, and any guy will be yours… “I love it when guys…” This can be said referring to something he’s wearing, something he’s doing or even something he has ambitions to do. So in summary, work on your eye contact with guys that you are introduced to, and immediately dive into a playful role play with them.
This means using proven dating tips that work with almost all men and help to turn the attraction up a little, to the point where he can’t stop thinking about you and must get in touch. How Would You Like To Discover The Exact Steps To Finding, Attracting and Keeping Your Ideal Guy? I am really grateful to the owner of this site who has shared this wonderful paragraph at at this time.
Important Note: While I do believe – and have seen proof – that the advice and programs I provide can help you improve your love life , please understand that not everyone will experience the exact same results.
But I can tell you that if you read the advice and continually apply it in your life, your chances of success increase dramatically. Bad life experiences aside, the larger point here is that I came out of my time as a waiter as a really good tipper, like all people who have ever worked in a job that involves tipping.
I put on my Weird But Earnest Guy Doing a Survey About Something hat and hit the streets, interviewing 123 people working in New York jobs that involve tipping. About 10% of the interviews ended after seven seconds when people were displeased by my presence and I'd slowly back out of the room, but for the most part, people were happy to talk to me about tipping -- how much they received, how often, how it varied among customer demographics, how large a portion of their income tipping made up, etc. I supplemented my findings with the help of a bunch of readers who wrote to us with detailed information about their own experiences, and with a large amount of research, especially from the website of Wm.
The most critical step in avoiding Ambiguous Tipping Situations is just knowing what you're supposed to do.
Since tipping is such a large part of life, it seems like we should stop to actually understand what being a low, average, or high tipper means for our budget. Looking at it simply, you can do some quick math and figure out one portion of your budget.
I got a little more comprehensive, and came up with three rough profiles: Low Spender, Mid Spender, and High Spender. One thing my interviews made clear is that there's this whole group of situation-related factors that service industry workers think are super relevant to the amount you should tip -- it's just that customers never got the memo. It's nice to give a coffee barista a tip, but you're not a horrible person if you don't because at least they're getting paid without you.


Service matters.It seems silly to put this in because it seems obvious, and yet, Michael Lynn's research shows that the amount people tip barely correlates at all to the quality of service they receive (Luckily, Lynn's research also shows that service workers think service quality does correlate to tip amount, so the incentive system still works). Here's the overview, which is a visualization of the results of Lynn's polling of over 1,000 waiters. People also consistently said that those who act "entitled" or "fussy" or "like the world's out to get them" are usually terrible tippers.
On the good-tipping side, people who are vacationing or drunk (or both) tip well, as do "regulars" who get to know the staff, and of course, the group of people everyone agrees are the best tippers are those who also work in the service industry (which, frankly, creeped me out by the end -- they're pretty cultish and weird about how they feel about tipping each other well).
3) A few different people said that when a tip is low, they assume the customer is cheap or hurting for money, but when it's high, they assume it's because they did a great job serving the customer or because they're likable (not that the customer is generous).
4) When a guy tips an attractive female an exorbitant amount, it doesn't make her think he's rich or generous or a big shot -- it makes her think he's trying to impress her.
5) Don't put a zero in the tip box if it's a situation when you're not tipping -- it apparently comes off as mean and unnecessary. 6) According to valets and bellmen, when people hand them a tip, they almost always do the "double fold" where they fold the bills in half twice and hand it to them with the numbers facing down so the amount of the tip is hidden.
Apparently no one tips flight attendants, and if you do, you'll probably receive free drinks thereafter. Golf caddies say that golfers tip better when they play better, but they always tip the best when it's happening in front of clients.
Tattoo artists expect $10-20 on a $100 job and $40-60 on a $400 job, but they get nothing from 30% of people. A massage therapist expects a $15-20 tip and receives one 95% of the time -- about half of a massage therapist's income is tips.
A whitewater rafting guide said he always got the best tips after a raft flipped over or something happened where people felt in danger.
9) The US is the most tip-crazed country in the world, but there's a wide variety of tipping customs in other countries. The amount of tipping in a country tends to correlate with the amount of corruption in the country.
11) Celebrities should tip well, because the person they tip will tell everyone they know about it forever, and everyone they tell will tell everyone they know about it forever. For example: A friend of mine served Arnold Schwarzenegger and his family at a fancy lunch place in Santa Monica called Cafe Montana. I'll finish off by saying that digging into this all week has made it pretty clear that it's bad to be a bad tipper. If you liked this article, you can subscribe to Wait But Why to have our once-a-week posts sent to you by email. Do you have horrible Chinese (and handwriting if you haven’t guessed by now) like I do? Despite your unenthusiastic answers, deep down you hope someone is going to do all the work for you. There is no room for that on those official census forms, but when a person picks up a writing instrument to choose which box they check, experience most certainly helps guide their hand.
Mary’s City, Maryland, wrestled for years with what box to check when confronted with official forms.
The submissions that arrive via snail mail, the Internet, and Twitter are often accompanied by comments, essays, pictures, and artwork. Pew also found that 26 percent of Hispanics married outside their race, compared with 9 percent of whites and 17 percent of blacks. Identity is not always a concrete concept but rather something that is situational, or shifting, based on time, place, growth, or circumstance. Erica Shindler Fuller Briggs of North Charleston, South Carolina, is asked the question “What are you?” so often she has started charging people for the answer. In either case she has made her point, prompting those who seek information about her identity to ask themselves a question: Why is it important? Those who have something to get off their chest are more likely to sidle up to the keyboard.
In matters of romance, I have also repeatedly heard the phrase that “the heart perhaps is the last frontier,” with the idea that a rainbow generation would lead us to a promised land where race was at least less prickly than it’s been in the past. We want to see and hear how you identify yourself in terms of culture, race, or even region. Please read the book Working Toward Whiteness – How America’s Immigrants Became White – The Strange Journey from Ellis Island to the Suburbs by David R.
Check out the human genome project and genetic research which have scientifically proven that races do not exist. Also, remember “whiteness,” like “race,” is a human invention created and perpetuated by society. I want to live and associate with my own tribe and have my children and grandchildren look like me as well as have them be self-sufficient, hard-working individuals that grow up with values and a sense of tradition. Homo sapien is one species (out of other homo groups now extinct) with varying geographical adaptations and even more cultural (group rules) variations. Despite that, I have more of the filipino features (I can get as tan as my mother, but if I don’t tan im very white, while my sister stays a pretty light shade even if she does tan) And also I have an asian nose.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, our outward physical appearance provides neither a benefit nor disadvantage in nature. European Jews, Ashkenazi, are first and foremost European or white, so mixing that title in with nationalities and ethnicities is incorrect! Notice how out of all the things I mentioned, no one ever seemed to consider the fact that I could possibly be American.
I wrestle with that every day of my life although I consider myself black, but my mixed heritage places me all over our global map.
Also, some doctors also zoom in on certain afflictions that might affect black people ,but in the process miss the proper diagnosis. These are 3 really subtle things that I am going to share with you, that if you master, have the ability to make you the sexiest woman on the planet to a guy. A great way to get his attention, without having to glare at him, is looking twice in quick succession. To do this you can make quirky assumptions about a guy as soon as you meet him, and expand on them more and more throughout the night, making them more and more wacky.
Whilst “the look” is perhaps the most effective way of getting a guy to like you from across the room, and role playing is by far the best way to demonstrate that you’re playful, this is the one that is going to get him to ask you out.
Then once you’ve got a playful vibe between you, drop in a few comments on “how you love it when guys…” and he’ll be asking you out in no time! In my FREE newsletter I show you some of the most cutting edge techniques for meeting, attracting and keeping your ideal guy. He's sad because he gets no salary and relies on tips like every other waiter, but people undertip him because at this restaurant they get their own food so they think he's not a real waiter even though he has to bring them all their drinks and side dishes and give them a full tour of the restaurant and how it works like a clown and then bus the table because they have no busboys at the restaurant and just when the last thing he needs is for the managers to be mean and powerful middle aged women who are mean to him, that's what also happens.
And friends of mine would sometimes notice this and say sentences like, "Tim is a really good tipper." My ego took a liking to these sentences, and now, ten years later, I've positioned myself right in the "good but not ridiculously good tipper" category. My interviews included waiters, bartenders, baristas, manicurists, barbers, busboys, bellmen, valets, doormen, cab drivers, restaurant delivery people, and even some people who don't get tipped but I'm not sure why, like acupuncturists and dental hygienists (I'm still not sure why, nor are they). Most customers have their standard tip amount in mind and don't really think about it much beyond that. Sometimes a bartender cracks open eight bottles of beer, which takes 12 seconds, and sometimes she makes eight multi-ingredient cocktails with olives and a whole umbrella scene on each, which takes four minutes, and those two orders should not be tipped equally, even though they might cost the same amount.
Food delivery guys are undertipped -- they're like a waiter except your table is on the other side of the city. It might not make sense that in the US, we've somewhat arbitrarily deemed certain professions as "tipped professions" whereby the customers are in charge of paying the professional's salary, instead of their employer -- but that's the way it is. So while stiffing isn't okay, it's good to have a range in mind, not a set percentage, since good service should be tipped better than bad service.
Throughout my interviews, I heard a lot of opinions reinforcing what's on that chart and almost none that contradicted it.
However, when someone's giving a really great tip, they usually hand them the bills unfolded and with the amount showing. Tipping expert Magnus Thor Torfason's research shows that 31 service professions involve tipping in the US.
Your good friend wasn’t invited to that awesome outing and you didn’t do a thing about it?


She needs a bone marrow transplant but a shortage of African-American and multiracial donors has kept her waiting for two years, because matches rely on shared ancestry.
But to understand race—and more specifically racial ambiguity—it helps to understand those whose lives are defined by it. And of the more than 30,000 submissions I have archived, a large percentage, in some way, touch upon multiracial experiences—most specifically marriage, parenting, and the questions of identity for the resulting offspring.
At age 42, she’s developed a hard edge around the constant questioning of her identity over time, and for understandable reasons. Our diversity is the marvel of the world and represents one of our greatest strengths as a nation.
But for a subject as historically and emotionally fraught as this, I am honored that anyone chooses to share their story and that the Race Card Project has become a forum where people can emote but also absorb a bit of life as lived by someone else. But I have seen enough other stories come through the site to know that grandchildren have also had a way of melting away generational bias, or even fear of the unknown, and replacing it with love and pride and fierce protectiveness. So my sister usually just goes under the term white, but I usually have to say I’m mixed?
The real issue with humans and their prejudices stems from ethnicity – the social traits that bind groups together. America is a country made of immigrants from all over the world, and everyone just wants to know where they fit in!
I love it when people ask me where my family comes from and I go listing off everything I’ve ever learned of my family heritage.
Maybe you don’t want to approach him directly; you’re in the office at work together, or for whatever reason it would just be highly inappropriate.
Strong eye contact is definitely most effective upon first meeting a guy, being introduced to a guy, or from across the room with a guy you’ve never met before. And women, it doesn’t matter how many fast cars they have, or how many hours they spend down the gym each week, you can trump all of that with one simple sentence. So sign up today and get instant access, you can be reading the first newsletter within minutes from now. Every person is an individual and every situation is unique so no single piece of advice will work for everyone at every time.
I covered a bunch of different areas in New York, including SoHo, the Lower East Side, Harlem, the Upper East Side, and the Financial District, and tried to capture a wide range, from the fanciest places to the diviest.
High Spender goes to fancy restaurants and does so often, and Low Spender goes out to eat less often and goes to cheaper places (more details here). And as such, you have some real responsibility when being served by a tipped professional that you don't have when being served by someone else. I only took seriously a viewpoint I heard at least three times, and in this post, I'm only including those viewpoints that were backed up by my online research and Lynn's statistical studies. The easiest one for people to focus on was foreigners being bad tippers, because A) it's not really a demographic so it's less awkward, and B) people could blame it on them "not knowing," if they didn't want to be mean.
That number is 27 in Canada, 27 in India, 15 in the Netherlands, 5-10 throughout Scandinavia, 4 in Japan, and 0 in Iceland. The theory is that the same norms that encourage tipping end up leaking over into other forms of exchange.
For your essay, simply keep inserting a bunch of adverbs, adjectives or whatever they’re called. To put that in context, one of out of every seven new marriages is among people of different racial backgrounds.
But the six-word stories present a broad mosaic that informs us in these times and will serve as an amazing archive in the future as we try to understand the years when America was steaming toward a majority-minority status.
Nina Boyd Krebs, whose book of the same title explores how people form diffuse cultural boundaries in the new Global Frontier. At one point, a shoe store manager assumed she was Hispanic and fussed at her for not knowing her own language. It heralds progress but not without pain for those who live on the knife-edge of multiple cultures. To insist otherwise is to dismiss the observations, views, and experiences of the thousands of people who have shared their stories with me. Differences in these [abstract] concepts can manifest as a simple slur all the way to genocide.
What I don’t understand is why people keep referring to me and my children as looking Asian because my eyes are slightly almond shape.
Jewish tribes of Asher and Levi, Russian Jew, Hungarian, Romanian, French, English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh, Norwegian, Choctaw, Cherokee and Iroquois. Us South Africans, should be a united country but still today you get a young generation that judges you because of your race. But even with guys that you’ve known your whole life, a subtle change in the way you look at him can have very auspicious consequences. At some point, the US decided that customers, not employers, should pay the salaries of service employees, and it's been this bizarre mess of a system ever since. They also have to "tip out" the other staff, so when you tip a waiter you're also tipping the busboy, bartender, and others. The US doesn't contribute to this general correlation, with relatively low corruption levels. His last name speaks of his heritage but it is hard to easily slot him into a single category based on his outward appearance. That will become evident if you spend any time scrolling through the stories that my project, the Race Card, has received. Do you have siblings who identify themselves in different ways, even though your biracial background is the same?
People will find ANY characteristic to divide – when what we should be doing is uniting as the human race that we are all a part of. Combine those with his first wife, my grandmother, and then add more English and Scottish to it with some German and you get me. The delivery guys I talked to all said the tips don't change in bad weather -- that's not logical.
When he had to fill out those forms, sometimes he would check multiple boxes and let someone else figure out how to handle the confusion. He grew up around kids of all races, and I had friends of different races, but it wasn’t a deliberate thing. When I was in Greece they thought I was Greek, when in Hawaii they thought Hawaiian, in Mexico they think I’m Mexican. As Anglo-Saxons migrated from the German Angles and Saxon tribes west to the British Isles. Everyone is made up of the various people their families have married and produced children with over the entire history of this planet. Likewise, while tipping on takeout orders is nice but not necessary, one restaurant manager complained to me about Citibank ordering 35 lunches to go every week, which takes a long time for some waiter to package (with the soup wrapped carefully, coffees rubber-banded, dressings and condiments put in side containers), and never tipping. The way to handle terrible service is to complain to the manager like you would in a non-tipping situation -- you're not allowed to stiff on the tip and make them work for free. I did learn one thing the stats show even though white men do not marry black a lot but when they do it last the most than any other race they never talk about that race mix ,that when they do it last not so much with black men and white women are divorcing the most Asainsbmix race couples divorce a lot check the stats I did .
I have light tan skin (that can get really dark in the summer)long brown hair, brown almond shaped eyes with a slender muscular build. And unlike my six siblings (Maria, Jude, David, Michelle, and Elizabeth), I have the only identifiably Nigerian name (Oluseyi Segun), which has baffled many, even Americans, when I say that I am American.
I love it because every race is beautiful and I wouldn’t change my melting pot blood for nothing. When the census forms changed, allowing individuals to choose more than one category, David Kung tore into the envelope, checked multiple boxes, and then sat down and cried.



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