If he argues, blames you or gets defensive while you are sharing, tell him you just wanted to share your feeling and end the conversation. He may have had a childhood characterized by a controlling, dominant mother, an emotionally distant or unavailable father, or a household of physical, emotional or sexual abuse. Once he shares his thoughts or feelings, run from the desire to pull more out of him than he is willing to offer.
If you have tried unsuccessfully to get your man to connect, you may need to find a skilled marital counselor who can help you avoid harmful behavior and develop tools to help you get what you want. These men rarely share what they feel and may appear uninterested in hearing a woman share her feelings.


Cloud and Townsend say that becoming a person who can help drive emotional healing and character growth will give the unavailable man room to open up. Beating around the bush with complaints or vague accusations rarely facilitates connection.
Emotionally unavailable men may withdraw, ignore or even get defensive or angry when asked to be vulnerable in a relationship. Asking him to spend a few minutes talking with you because you feel lonely will help him know what you want and may help him be more willing to connect.
Shaming your man to get him to connect more rarely works and most likely will result in less, not more, connection.


In order to connect with emotionally unavailable men, you will need to understand why they withdraw and how to connect safely.



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