Bear in mind that this is the same man who told the Judicial Service Commission that his God a€“ the Christian God a€“ wanted him to be Chief Justice. Seemingly hellbent on turning South Africa into some kind of weird secular theocracy, Mogoeng said the religious oaths ministers took when they were sworn into Cabinet were provided for in the Bible and an understanding of the scriptural consequences of making promises and breaking them would help many to live up to their promises.
Ita€™s all too easy to easy to break your oath of office if youa€™re entrusting your promise to a supernatural entity whose method of ensuring obedience is to do nothing, even in the face of the most heinous acts of evil. I dona€™t know about your neighbourhood, Judge, but where I come from, bonking the plumbera€™s wife three doors down doesna€™t always lead to machete fights at dawn. He also said perjury was a€?on all fours with the a€¦ biblical injunction that a€?thou shalt not bear false witnessa€™a€?. Instead of swanning about quoting from Romans, Mogoeng would serve this country better if he spent his time identifying the plethora of legal loopholes through which so many lawyered-up lowlifes manage to slip.
Here are some rules embedded in religions which may or may not one day find their way onto our statute books.
If you are fighting with another man and your wife tries to rescue you by grabbing your opponenta€™s goolies, you must cut off her hand. There will be stoning in the event of: Homosexuality, astrology, being a disrespectful child, being a drunken son, blasphemy, breaking the Sabbath, perjury, incest, bestiality and witchcraft. EFF leader Julius Malema will remain a Member of Parliament a€“ at least until August the 25th when he is due to appear in court on tax evasion charges. For this week's edition of Hard Shout, Debora Patta tries to conjure up the ghosts of presidents past. Most people are flabbergasted when I tell them that Ia€™m a great fan of genetic modification.
Before we start helping ourselves why dona€™t we start with random acts of benevolence towards our fellow inhabitants of the planet? Nathi Mthethwa went from being the Minister of Police to being the Minister of Arts and Culture. Our cabinet is bigger than Germanya€™s, the USAa€™s or Japana€™s: 71 ministers and cabinet ministers.
On the other hand calling everyone who votes ANC a clown, as happened in a recent cartoon, is very counter-revolutionary.
Murder accused Oscar Pistorius has ended his first week of psychiatric observation at Weskoppies in Pretoria. If a ladybird had sex with Postman Pat's van, their offspring would be Google's new driverless car.
It's not really anything, just an amorphous dome that promises to ferry you and your companion around the city of the future like two iPeas in an iPod. This week Google stopped stroking its hairless cat inside its secret volcano long enough torelease some new marketing footage of the car. We count down the finest musical moments of the great film composer John Williams, winner of five Oscars out of an extraordinary 49 nominations. We welcome directors James Bobin and Jodie Foster into the Empire pod booth this week to talk all things Alice Through The Looking Glass and Money Monster. Sorting through the avalanche of condemnation following Gawker's role in the alleged blackmailing of David Geithner, something else caught my eye. Chris Pine is set to star in the new Star Trek film, which has seen a big of a swing in terms of negative to positive buzz following the latest, substantially more promising trailer for the third part of the franchise.
The Manchester United legend is known for his outspoken and sometimes bizarre soundbites, with France boss Didier Deschamps the target this week.
Ronald Harwood’s play “The Dresser” reaped Tony nominations in 1982 and the film version the following year contended at the Oscars.


He believes South Africa would be a far better country a€?if religion could be allowed to influence the laws that govern our daily livesa€?.
Our politicians dona€™t break their oaths because they lack an understanding of the scriptural consequences. Who wouldna€™t be tempted to fiddle their expenses knowing that God is disinclined to stop or punish those responsible for child rape and chemical warfare? I like to point out when Chris Barnard and his gardener were perfecting the first heart transplants people were skeptical about the ethical issues around putting dead peoplea€™s hearts into the living.
Everyone has opposable thumbs now, which makes everyone feel entitled to type whatever inane thoughts on social media.
Imagine that our biotechnologists stopped faffing about with bigger, redder tomatoes and concentrated on what really matters to us: goats. Are your 400 followers just not getting the real jist of what you thought about X-Men: Days of Future Past or how cold it is lately? Unless you are actually a clown, then best you join us on LNN or get a leadership position in COPE. Irony is someone who sells Black Like Me products hanging with Comrade Helen a€?Black-Like-Mea€™ Zille. A few years back, maybe before the global recession, the international media would have ground to a palpitating, salivating, tumescent halt; but the response to the Googlebug seemed somewhat muted.
After all, if a driver is something that uses spatial awareness and a knowledge of road rules to prevent collisions, then our roads have been full of driverless cars for years. Will a vegan presidential hopeful one day have to abandon his campaign when his Google car's browsing history reveals that he spent his Thursday afternoons in a motel with something from a nearby McDonald's drive-through? They have a driver, and he is a vast, shadowy mega-corporation that works in secret and has more money than everybody at a Zuma family braai. I am a child of the conspiracy era, born eight years after a destitute slam poet called Neil Moonbeam Armstrong was offered a role in a short CIA-produced art-house film called "Apollo 11". I then point out that in 20 years GMOa€™s will be just a part of life the same way everybody has accepted heart transplants.
That poor creature has been waiting for evolution to give it its own shell for thousands of years. My Zulu peeps and I use the soul of decapitated goats to have conversations with the ancestors.
The only reason you would keep Tina is because you need someone to do so badly they make the other ministers look good.
You know how policing gives you the cultural depth you need to help grow the soul of a nation? Mogoeng Mogoeng on the other hand is very much around, and telling us he thinks adultery and pomping cause murders. Given that all Google searches ultimately take you to kittens or porn, will all roads eventually lead to a cattery above an Adult World? Share or message your boyfriend with the best quotes to make him remember you all the time. They may as well say, a€?So help me Teletubbiesa€? for all it serves to keep them on the straight and narrow.
Going to be a tricky business, this framing laws forged in the hellfires of eternal damnation.
The ANCa€™s Chief of Propaganda, and Sangoma of Spin, the new spokesman Comrade Zizi Kodwa says ita€™s because we are a developing country.
If thata€™s true it's a matter of time before he arrests the President for inciting violence.


The mother and child in the clip did their best to look amazed and delighted as they whizzed down a California street but it all still had the look of a 1958 advertisement for a Soviet trade fair at which workers get to ride in a giant asbestos potato to experience the thrill of mechanised agriculture. If you misspell "Oregon" will it think you've asked: "How do I reach Orgasm?" More alarmingly, will it take you there? I appreciate that evolution gave us these opposable thumbs, which made it possible for us to make bows and arrows and later, to use a fork.
Imagine one Friday evening in the Valley of a Thousand Hiils, a GMO goat born without a hid boarding a minibus taxi and presenting itself skinless, with an Okapi pocketknife in its pocket just in time for the family patriarch to burn incense and have an animated conversation with the ancestors.
My guess is they are trying to fill those 6 million jobs they promised entirely with cabinet positions. They have genetically modified fish, what next; humans?a€? Actuall, I'm particularly keen on human genetic modification. Also, in the year 50,000 BC these opposable thumbs were cutting edge technology when the ability to pick berries made the difference between getting laid on Friday night or engaging in the one armed struggle without a thumb.
In very simplistic terms, all species are subject to random a€?accidentala€? mutations to their DNA.
And Ia€™m not just talking about the biggies such as taking malaria out of mosquitoes or getting rid of the cancer. Dona€™t you think ita€™s time humans were sommer born with custom made shoes, socks, underpants and pants with pockets?
If there was some huge advantage (and I can see men nodding) to women having three breasts, everybody would want to mate with a three-breasted woman, leading to the proliferation of three-breasted women in society. And Ia€™m not suggesting fancy Dolce and Gabbana couture, just standard pants with pockets. So now imagine ita€™s 50,000 BC and the first guy is walking around with opposable thumbs, picking up berries and getting action every Friday. So you can imagine that 10,000 years later, maybe half of the human population had opposable thumbs.
I bet it made for uncomfortable social situations because the guys with opposable thumbs got all the government tenders toa€¦you know, pick stuff up. I bet the guys with regular fingers called the 40,000 BC tenderpreneurs a€?clever blacksa€? and other such nasty terms. A  I learned something from every man I met or exchanged emails with, and Lou taught me a few words in Spanish.A  Ole!
We can take a little walk, maybe get our feet wet, and then lie on a blanket and listen to the waves.
I do the same thing myself, when the mood strikes.A  And how about this for being an "in tune with women" kinda guy?A  A few days after I had ordered myself 2 new green dresses and several in black to add to my collection from a mail order company named Newport News, he sent an email asking:A  "So, what are you wearing right now?
A  For Christ Sake!!A  How about saving the Taxpayers a buck?A  In addition to that $6 million you've already blown by hovering and covering me, and scheduling a proper Face to Base meeting in your office; at my convenience? Dramatic, but no drama.A  Short black skirt, or long black dress?A  Heels or boots?A  Camo, or commando? Until then, as in the end,there is much more to come.A A A  Once Upon a Time, a little mushroom popped through the moss covered ground of the Southeast Alaska Rainforest. Grant, Attorney at Law, Juneau, AK From Wedding Bells to Tales to Tell: The Affidavit of Eric William Swanson, my former spouse AFFIDAVIT OF SHANNON MARIE MCCORMICK, My Former Best Friend THE AFFIDAVIT OF VALERIE BRITTINA ROSE, My daughter, aged 21 THE BEAGLE BRAYS! HELL'S BELLS: THE TELLS OF THE ELVES RING LOUD AND CLEAR IDENTITY THEFT, MISINFORMATION, AND THE GETTING THE INFAMOUS RUNAROUND Double Entendre and DoubleSpeak, Innuendos and Intimidation, Coercion v Common Sense, Komply (with a K) v Knowledge = DDIICCKK; Who's Gunna Call it a Draw?



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