JAPANESE DATING: Meet Japanese women located in Japan and cities around the world who are single and speak English.
It really is a numbers game and the most effective strategy is to start with a very big pool and quickly filter out those that don't appeal to you. I’ve previously written about dating in Japan and interviewed a few of my female fellow bloggers about dating Japanese men. They were mainly concerned about how to approach a Japanese woman and cross-cultural differences that could be an issue. I want to thank all the great people who agreed to collaborate and share their story with all of us!
Chauvinism and misogyny are male attributes that are present all over the world, and Japan is no exception. I also wanted to know if Coolio sees any cultural differences that could cause trouble in a relationship. Has anybody else seen the super gorgeous Japanese woman with the super-nerdy boyfriend or husband? For example, if you’re a foreigner who plays in a band here in Japan, it’s like an instant hook! During that initial, sparkly, new relationship phase not knowing Japanese can be an interesting way to learn together and grow your relationship in the process.
Matthias is a fellow German who is married to a Japanese woman and has his own little German-Japanese family now.
Putting aside simple things such as her being shocked when he sticks his chopsticks into a bowl of rice, I think the main issues lie in the different sense of humor, but also in different expectations. Thanks to all these wonderful men who agreed to share their story with us, I think we all got a pretty good picture of what it is really like to date Japanese women in Japan. It’s interesting to see that foreign men and women seem to experience similar issues in their cross-cultural relationships. I wonder if it’s eventually more difficult for a foreign women to adapt to a cross-cultural relationship with a Japanese guy, when living in Japan. I feel like anyone, regardless of gender, who is mainly looking at the race of their prospective partner, is not looking for the right things and would not be a good person to date. And I really disagree with Loco’s statement about Japan being a hard place to approach women. You probably know that my experience is completely different from yours as we’ve previously talked about it. In my 6+ years here in Japan I’ve never had any problems with being approached like that or being groped. Zooming: Perhaps next you could interview japanese people what they are thinking about the subject?


I think that’s a huge issue, not only when you try to find a partner, but also a true friend here in Japan. It shouldn’t matter where someone is from, but who that person really is and how well you can connect with that person.
It was quite the whirlwind, but it was something we both as people committed wholeheartedly to. In my experience, most relationships around me (though I live in the countryside) trend toward traditional gender roles. These beautiful Japanese women seek dates, friendship, love and marriage from men like you. In August 2013 Ben participated in the popular Japanese TV show Motemote 99 where he met a wonderful Japanese women.
In Japan, women and men tend to socialize separately, so unless you find someone at work (which has its own issues), you’re limited in the ways you might meet a potential date. It takes a certain amount of commitment to start dating when everyone will know about it in a few days. And often, at least according to my Japanese male friends, those stereotypes involve aggressive attitudes, impatience, sexual promiscuity, and resistance to compliance. The society dictates what is acceptable, tolerable, attractive and even what will bring a man the prestige among his peers he might desire, and in most cases the women they choose either fulfill these needs or are expected to conform to them somehow.
I started to improve my Japanese so I could communicate better, and it still wasn’t working.
If you can spark an interest or really engage a woman, you have a chance for a date whether she is Japanese, American, British or Martian. I know some couples who get along very well without actually understanding each other’s language. A nice example for this is childcare – Japanese and Western fostering are quite different, and this confuses a lot of Western men.
And it seems to be much easier for foreign guys to find a Japanese partner than it is for foreign women, mainly due to expectations and stereotypes that strongly exist within the Japanese society. I’ve dated both men and women in Japan, and the men turned out to be cheaters and liars who never seriously considered me as a prospect, and the women far too brazen for me.
And in certain spots with host bars in Osaka and Tokyo, hosts tried to persuade me to come to their bar (but that is their job). You’re simply a great accessory that makes any Japanese person next to you stick out of the crowd.
Probably more challenging because I barely know any Japanese bloggers, but I’ll work on it. I just fear that it will be extremely difficult to find people to interview who have no problem talking about their experience so openly.


I don’t doubt that it might happen, but as we all know changes in Japan can always take a looong time. In a survey by Goo translated by What Japan Thinks, 1,159 respondents revealed what mystifies them the most about the opposite sex.The Japanese dating scene throws up a few unfamiliar quirks, such as men's desire to keep attending 'go-kon' (blind date) parties with colleagues even after they have a girlfriend -- presumably justified as being there to support other single friends.
I found it hard to make anything more than superficial connections or move past friendship. I had friends who spoke even less Japanese than I did, and they always had a hot Japanese date on their arm. I think the difference is that you don’t necessarily have to work as hard in Japan to create that spark. I’d imagine though, that there are certain things that impress Japanese women but not non-Asian women and vice versa. This is not to sound offensive, but it’s kind of true?at times their gaijin boyfriend is even less than average, just getting an ego I suppose.
It will certainly be interesting to see where this is going in the next few decades, though.
And while some of those same stereotypes apply to NJ men, the Japanese women who are attracted to NJ men are generally (in my experience) attracted to and are frankly expecting those qualities from NJ men (and may or may not be receptive if they’re not present). The decision to step outside of the expectations of one’s society has ramifications that are far-reaching, and can potentially impact every facet of their lives, be it family, career, even friendships.
When you disagree, and you eventually will, being able to speak your mind in Japanese is truly important. Keep in mind that I don’t go to clubs or parties where this might be more likely to happen.
That being said, even a beautiful and smart girl like you fell for them, so you never are 100% safe, I guess.
In 2001 before 9-11, I lived in Manhattan and was in college finishing up my degree when by accident I met a Japanese girl in a restaurant. Quite why Japanese men seem to feel eating a huge plate of spicy food will attract a girl is as baffling for us as it apparently is for Japanese women.
It definitely made things easier knowing they were interested in me, yet there were distractions as well.
We had one date, that was on a Thursday, that Tuesday, the planes hit the World Trade Center. The proposal, the meeting of her family and the obstacles we overcame with language and culture only became minute because of our undying love for one another.



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