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While these are all pretty weird, none of them are quite as bizarre as My Forged Wedding, a dating sim where players pretend to have a pretend wedding. Here’s the premise: You’re a recent college grad with no employment prospects traveling to Tokyo to stay with your uncle, who is the “president of one of those tech companies that is so hot right now.” (Timely!
After you get off the train, you meet a sexy, mysterious stranger who asks you to be his fake bride.
I chose Kyoichi, the “big shot diplomat,” because his cheekbones reminded me of Christian Bale and because the other characters’ storylines were $3.99 each.
As you play the game, it turns into a choose-your-own-adventure-type story that culminates in the two of you falling in love and raising a family together. My Forged Marriage is brought to you by Voltage Inc., the maker of such other dating sims as Kissed By The Baddest Bidder, 10 Days with my Devil, and Be My Princess.
Set in the crown prosecutor's office of Montreal, Love %26amp; Order follows a young secretary as she solves a mystery, balances her work and her social life, and chooses between four different suitors. You can unsubscribe at any time and we'll never share your details without your permission.


That translates to lots of gentlemen who spend down to pockets o' change, perfect for piggy banks, which have evolved to meet the demand, beeps and booms and all.But what about the ladies who might be less used to dumping hundred-yen coins into a little gadget on a regular basis?
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There was LovePlus, a game that inspired thousands of men to pledge their everlasting love to virtual (and, surprisingly, volatile) girlfriends. Relevant!) I chose the name “Kimberly Karmichael,” which is the name I used in middle school when I went into chatrooms to cybersex with strangers. All of them appear to be conceptually similar to My Forged Marriage, and they all seem to cater to the same adolescent girl fantasies of being swept off your feet by a wealthy, high-cheekboned, secretly soft-hearted bad boy. The anime art style and generic music fit right in with genre conventions, and only the game's impeccable English gives it away as a non-Japanese otome game. There was Jurassic Heart, where you play a high school girl who falls in love with a Tyrannosaurus Rex. These fantasies are derivative and silly and sexist and totally eyeroll-worthy, but if this is how young Japanese girls are getting their ya-yas out before they start meeting boys and having sex IRL, then more power to them. At the very least, it’s probably healthier than what Kimberly Karmichael did when she was their age.


The bank really is a miniature dating sim, because there's an object behind the money-saving stuff: put in 100 500-yen coins (almost $500 total) and answer questions as you feed your new monstrosity, leading up to either a big drama-queen breakup or a happy ending with your new inch-square lover.
You have to be careful to keep it up, too; for example, if you pick the model and then neglect Captain Yaoiface (it's what I'd call him) for 5 days, he takes off in a huff and you have to start over.
But I could easily see how the game, with its meta “pretending to pretend to be married” conceit, would be addictive if you were a 14 year old Japanese girl who was tired of stealing her mom’s translated E.L. HAPPY" accoutrements, I have to ask again: Why, exactly, are Japanese scientists the world's goddamn Batmen at simulating human emotion in cute little devices? Is it because their incredible diligence, drive, and dedication to their work, sitting in the family portrait next to fantastically low birthrates and an ever-growing bumper crop of old people, are steadily turning its citizens into zombies? The Japanese certainly did not invent the first inane little gadgets designed to act as Band-Aids over the gaping wounds in people's souls - did they?



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