You have to be asking yourself – is it REALLY in my best interests to tell the truth if 95% of guys are going to dismiss me for doing so?
The good news, Nicci, is that all of the answers can be derived from the same exact technique – flipping things over to consider the other person’s point of view. Let’s start with you, because a) you wrote me the note, and b) you’re an online dating anomaly – an honest size 10 who doesn’t claim to be athletic and toned.
However, after talking to your male co-workers and observing that you’re not being contacted, you have to be asking yourself – is it REALLY in my best interests to tell the truth if 95% of guys are going to dismiss me for doing so? Except this isn’t true either, because most people feel duped by the disconnect between your description and real life stature. Finally, the last myth we’re gonna bust is that there’s something about your profile that’s attracting the wrong kind of men. Me: If you were to go to an airport and look around the terminal, what percentage of men would you date? I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address. All this debate I just don’t understand if you post an accurate full body shot as your profile picture doesn’t this solve the problem? I am sorry that is the definition and meaning no matter how much you don’t want to accept it.
I’m fed up meeting up with men who claim to be 6 feet tall, just to find they are liars, very short liars.
That’s why I really wish that dating sites would let you choose more than one body type descriptor.
Just refresh your essay and pics – maybe get some feedback by friends (or strangers?) before posting them.
Honesty about your curves is good, but if your profile essay reflects your confidence in yourself, the men WILL respond. If, by definition, 95% of men are wrong for you, it should be expected that many will be unemployed, uneducated, older and inappropriate.


And if you’ve struggled with the same frustrations as Nicci – not enough good men, all the wrong men writing to you – my Finding the One Online system is a one-stop-shop to get you the kind of attention you deserve. Just once I’d like to meet a man who is the height he claims to be, or at least somewhat close to it. I have professionally-shot pictures that get compliments all the time, and they are accurate photos (the guys say so on dates). I’ve been with a wonderful man (who is incredibly athletic and fit) for two and a half years who adores my curves.
In an experiment, they took two pictures of model Alex LaRosa modeling a tight dress; with one photo highlighting her size and another downplaying it with a more conservative pose and outfit. In their attempts to be honest (but not scare off men), women will click on descriptors like “a few pounds extra”, “curvy”,  or “voluptuous”.
I remember one Jdate incident where the woman had only a head shot in her profile, and listed herself as petite when in fact she was far from petite. They posted it on Facebook with the caption asking readers to vote for the photo they preferred.
All we can do is tackle this confidently, and not get too thrown by the many bumps in the road. I do have about 20 pounds to lose before I hit my goal of 100 pounds lost, but I think that my photos give an accurate portrayal of my body.
If you think of them that way, and market yourself in the most positive way, I think you’ll get more responses. Do real "plus" models exist?In her editor's note for PLUS Model Magazine's January 2014 issue, Madeline Jones wrote:"The HOT TOPIC is model sizes. And few people face more discrimination than women in their 50’s and 60’s, who only seem to get email from men who are MUCH older. But in my late teens and 20’s, when I told people my weight, they often thought I was mistaken (lol) or fishing for compliments. They may not be from guys you want to date, but as Evan pointed out, there are always going to be more people you’re not interested in than those you are.


At the very least, heavier women (like shorter men) feel that if they can convince someone to go out with them, they’d have a chance in person….
If men do not feel confident that who they see in the picture, is what is showing up, I do not blame them for not contacting. Years ago when I started my career in this industry there were models size 18 in campaigns and on the cover of catalogs. This also goes for women that appear to have overfiltered or photoshopped photos, heavily contoured makeup. As the brands continue to compete for our dollars and mainstream acceptance, they have been hiring and asking the modeling agencies for smaller and smaller models. And when the slightly overweight woman shows up on a date with a man who was expecting “athletic”, both parties are in for a night of disappointment. There are brands that do not use plus size models at all and occassionally will use a size 10 or 12."Many plus-size shoppers actually do want to see more representative body types. For men, it’s a little tougher for them to not disclose properly unless they are using old photos that appear newer. There is always someone else who will except me for who I am on the inside, and not the outer shell.
I have got better at identifying things in.photos that seem to indicate their photos are outdated abd usually when I ask, they will admit they are old.
Which is why I’ve helped thousands of people rebrand and market themselves successfully online over the past nine years.
It may be a smaller dating pool yet if they are contacting me, dating me, enjoying kissing or hugging me, safe to say they like curvy.



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