Robin and I just celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary, and I can tell you that she is fun damn near every day.
Don't let your relationship become like elevator music -- something in the background that doesn't merit your attention -- while the days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months and the months turn into years.
As the novelist and essayist Charles Baxter put it in his book Burning Down the House, "People in a traumatized state tend to love their furniture." It's almost as if we're gathering things to bolster against loneliness. Since we started dating four decades ago, we've been laughing together, reading together, traveling and discovering new music. For instance, my knee was killing me the other day, and I was limping into the kitchen when I saw Robin's reflection in the window. There is a very clear formula for success in a relationship: It's a function of how well it meets the needs of the two people involved, and it's always based on a solid underlying friendship.


But if you want a successful relationship, you need to try seeing yourself through your partner's eyes.
But at those times, I can count on Robin to take care of me, and when her spirits are flagging, I do the same for her. You have to discover what your partner needs, and you also have to teach him about what you need instead of expecting him to read your mind. Show me a partner who's always bellyaching about bills, housekeeping, the kids, and I'll show you a partner who isn't much fun to live with. Say your beloved leaves the toilet seat up, or plays the TV too loud, or falls asleep in his armchair and snores.
Would you keep hanging out with somebody who just criticizes you and grunts when he runs into you on the way to the bathroom?


You're looking for a person who wants to laugh, talk about interesting things, share stories and grow.
Now start helping me out around here, buddy." Instead, she'd meet me at the door with a hug, a kiss and my tennis racquet. She knew I'd be a lot more fun if I could run around and break a good sweat instead of coming in straight from the grind.



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