Peter had been married for a veryA long time when he wrote these famous words about marriage. Every time I saw them, they were holding hands and looking blissfully into each othera€™s eyes. One day when you are older and your children have started their own families and have moved to another city or state, or when your friends become elderly and pass away, your wife is the one who will still be right at your side. Before the marriage, the man held her hand, walked with her, opened theA door for her, called her on the telephone, wrote her romantic notes, sent her flowers, and took herA to dinner.
We all got such a kick out of watching them and were excited about their upcoming wedding.A Several months after they were married, I noticed that this young husband looked downcast and depressed. The word hupo means under,A and the wordA tasso means to arrange or to put something in order. These men begin to act as if they haveA forgotten how to show their brides the tenderness to which they had grown accustomed.
For instance, if he didna€™t read his Bible when he woke up in the morning, she refused tomake his breakfast. ForA instance, Paul uses this word in First Timothy 3:4, where he gives the instruction that children areA to be a€?in subjectiona€? to their parents.
As a resultA of this change in behavior in their new husbands, young brides often feel disappointed, let down,A and deceived.
Her rule was a€?No Bible, no breakfast!a€? He told me that many mornings he would go to the kitchen to get his sack lunch for the day, and his new bride would tell him, a€?Today the Lord has told me that you need to fast, so there wona€™t be any lunch for you today.
Perhaps they get busy at work, or their minds are heavy with details, or they are mentally and physically exhausted. Then wea€™re going to spend an hour in prayer.a€?A When I heard what was happening, I chuckled inside.
I knew this sweet little new bride was trying to encourage her husband to be the spiritual leader of their new home, but her approach wasna€™t effective. But regardless of what a husband is feeling or going through at work or in his financial affairs, his wife needs his attention and affection.
In fact, it was having just the opposite effect she desired.A Instead of causing her husband to feel closer to her, this young wife was pushing him far away by constantly preaching at him and demanding that he become the spiritual leader she expected him to be. This tells us that just as the army has a specific order of authority, so hasA God designed a certain order for the home that He expects to be followed. But after the couple attended a few counseling sessions, the wife backed off and let her husband assume his leadership role on his own terms. When she relaxed and let him lead in a way that was more natural to him, the tension left their marriage and they reentered marital bliss!A A wife who takes on the role of preaching at her husband will never find this method very effective. This word means to assign, to designate, to allocate, orA to intentionally give something to someone.
This is Goda€™s order for your home, so do all you can to become supportive of your husband.a€¦a€?A Peter knew that one of the greatest needs of a husband is to have a wife with a supportive attitude. It is usually a huge turn-off for a husband because it makes him feel like his wife, who issupposed to be his greatest supporter, has instead become his corrector and boss. It refers to a calculated decision to show attention, awareness,or consideration to someone else. You see, a man fights at his job all day long, struggling to pay the bills and trying to overcome his own insecurities and self-image problems. In this case, it refers to a man purposefully showing attention to and consideration for his wife.
If he then comes home to a wife who nags, complains, and gripes about everything he doesna€™t do right, her behavior has a very negative effect on him. When the word sun is used in the New Testament, it alwaysA connects two or more people into a very vital union. Because Peter uses the Greek wordA aponemo (a€?givinga€?), this strongly suggests that the husbanda€™s attention, awareness, and consideration dona€™t occur accidentally. Hea€™s already fought the devil all day long; he certainly doesna€™t need to come home to a wife who is ready to fight with him!A As a result, the husband often responds to a nagging and critical wife by hardening and insulating his heart against her. This meant that a huge portion of the Early Church was comprised of women who had come to Jesus Christ but whose husbands remained unsaved.
Instead of drawing closer to his wife, he withdraws from her emotionally.A Now, ita€™s important to understand that when Peter commands a woman to be in subjection to her own husband, he is not recommending that she become a a€?doormata€? whom the husband takes advantage of. When these words are linked together as they are in First Peter 3:7, it meansA to share a house together or to dwell together in one residence. Of course, these women wanted their husbands to be saved, so after a church service, they would often run home and begin to preach to their husbands. Rather, Peter is urging each wife to take her place as her husbanda€™s chief supporter and helper.A When a husband comes home from a hard day at work, he needs to be greeted by a loving, caring, kind, understanding, and supportive wife. He tells husbands that they are to give honor unto the wife as unto the a€?weaker vessel.a€?A The word a€?weakera€? does not mean inferior or substandard.
This kind of wife makes a husband feel as if hea€™s found a place where he can find rest and solace for his soul. The fact is, there are many husbandsA and wives who live in the same house, who eat at the same table, and who share the same bed,A yet who dona€™t really a€?dwella€? together. This is the Greek word asthenes, which actually carries the idea ofA something that is fragile and of great value, like a priceless, beautiful, hand-painted porcelain vase that must be treated with supreme care. They are like two ships that occasionally pass each other.A Although they share the same residence, they live separate lives, never really connecting with eachA other.
From the husbandsa€™ perspective, their wivesa€™ preaching sounded like nagging and complaining. This approach produced such negative results that Peter told wives to stop preaching to their husbands and to instead live godly lives before them as their method of evangelizing. She is to be given a place of high honor in his life, as if she were a fragile and priceless vessel. It is when a wife gets out of that supportive role and attempts to become the husbanda€™s authority and head, constantly rebuking and correcting him for what he isna€™t doing right, that her actions cause him to emotionally push away from her.A Wife, God never designed you to assume authority over your husband.
This is a great challenge to men, who often want to be quiet when they come homeA after a busy day at work. The words a€?obey nota€? are from the Greek word apeitho, which emphatically refers to someone who refuses to be persuaded. It will therefore bring disruption to your marital relationship whenever you attempt to do so. Many men would rather sit down in front of the television and flip theA channels all evening rather than communicate with their wives. So if you want your husband to know how much you love him, look for ways to show him your support. They live and act as though they are SINGLE.A Husband, learning to share your life with your wife is a skill that must be developed.
Therefore, besides referring to unsaved husbands who hear the message and reject it, as Peter was most likely writing about, thisA phrase could also refer to saved husbands who refuse to do what they know God wants them to do.A I can think of so many Christian wives who want their husbands to change. In this case, your attitude and actions really do speak louder than words.A Writing by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and from many years of personal experience, Peter urges wives to be submissive to their husbands and thus demonstrate their love and respect tothem. These wives beg,A plead, nag, and pester their husbands all the time to do this different or to do that different.


Now, it is important to understand that submission is not just an outward action; it is a condition of the heart. First, you must seek to obtain that knowledge by reading the Word, by reading a goodA book on marriage, by attending a seminar on how to be a better husband, by listening to a teachingA tape on the subject, and so on. But noA matter how hard a wife pressures her husband, he will remain stubborn, obstinate, and unmoved. When you and your wife approach a door, open the door for her and let her goA through the door first.
If you step through the door first and then let the door slamA in your wifea€™s face as she follows behind you, you give her the impression that sheA is of little value to you.
She can follow his leadership angrily and resentfully, kicking and screaming all the way.A 2. It was often used in secular literature to depictA someone who won a game, such as the game of casting lots. She can submit voluntarily with a joyful and supportive attitude.A If a wife follows her husband with resentment in her heart, he will feel this resentment. In todaya€™s world, it could depict a person who plays his cards right and therefore walks off with the booty!
A man can sense whether his wife is complying because she must or submitting with a joyful and supportive heart.A When the wife takes the second approach and follows him with a thankful and happy heart a€” even if she has to deny her own desires or pleasures to do so a€” she sends a loud signal to the husband that causes him to want to love her.
She has cleaned the house, taken care of the children, cooked your evening meal, and faced her own challenges throughout the day. This is an important result of willing submission, for being loved is the primary thing every wife needs to receive from her husband. Peter is telling wives how to win the game of positively influencing their husbands without ever saying a word!
When your wife walks up or down the stairs or when she gets in or out of the car,A show enough consideration for her to reach out and take her by the hand and helpA her. This is also the reason God commands men to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25).A Wife, have you been assuming a corrective role toward your husband?
Even more importantly, she wants fellowship withyou because you are the one she loves and needs the most. In other words, the wordA anastropheA gives a picture of how a person conducts his life and how he or she behaves in every situation.
If so, I urge you to take a new approach in your relationshipA with your husband on the basis of Petera€™s instruction in First Peter 3:1. Or why dona€™t you sit at the kitchen table with your wife and let her tell you all about her day over a cup of coffee or tea? Rather than constantlyA correcting him and pointing out all his flaws, go to God with the things that disturb youA about him.
And after she is finished telling you every nitty-gritty detail of her day, take the time to tell her about your day!
Instead of spending all the extra money on yourself, on your fishing trip, or on yourA personal pleasures, why not sacrifice a few of your own desires and give her thatA extra money to go do something for herself?
Meanwhile, work on becoming the most significant supporter and friend your husbandA has ever known.A If you respond correctly to your husbanda€™s God-given authority in the home, God will work on his heart.
She wants to know what you did, whom you talked to, what they said, what happened next, and so on. Seeing how attentively she takes care ofA their children and how she lovesA their sona€™s wife or daughter's husbands.
When you give her a check or cashA and tell her to go buy something for herself, it will probably shock her! But as sheA realizes that you are making a sacrifice of your own desires to bless her, it will sendA a gigantic signal that you love her and want to bless her.A 4.
He needs me to be his friend and supporter, and I now realize how oftenA he must perceive me as another enemy he has to fight.
Her husband sees her rising up, her sitting down, her going in, her going out, her turning this way and that way. BecauseA he know her life and her outstanding attitude, he has great respect for her, and he listens when she speaks toA him about things that concern her. Teach me how to respond in every situation with a respectful andA supportive attitude toward my husband.
In fact, of all the people inA his life, his wife has the single greatest impact onA him and his decisions. SheA works hard to be beautiful for you, and it is only right that you acknowledge itA when she looks pretty.
Are you a support to your husband, or does he feel like you are attacking himA most of the time? If she is assured that she is a top priority in your life and feels secure in her relationship with you, she will gladly follow you and help you wherever God leads.
If you have sons, you are also providingA a good example to them of the way they should honor their own future wives.A 6. Does he draw near to you, or does he shut up and emotionallyA protect himself when the two of you are together?A 2. Judging from your husbanda€™s response to you, what do you need to change inA the way you are approaching him?A 3. You will findthat if you dona€™t plan these times together, all the other responsibilities of your lives and ministryA consume you, and in the end,A you dona€™t spend enough quality time together. He notices when you haveA an opportunity to be angry but choose instead to be silent and to take that anger to the Lord. When you give her time that is completelyA undistracted, it lets her know that you want to be with her. When you are at work, remember to pick up the telephone to call her during the day,A just to let her know you are thinking about her. Open your heart to her; talk to her like she is your best friend and most important confidant.
It doesna€™t take long for you to makeA a quick phone call, but that moment of consideration means a lot to your wifebecause it communicates to her how much you value her. You see, if you have aA happy wife, you can be sure that youa€™ll have a partner who is with you all the way.
If you always have time to be with everyone else butA never have time with her, you are sending her the message that she is the lowest priorityA in your life. So I urge youA today to learn how to dwell with your wife according to knowledge.A Make sure that from this day forward, you treat your wife like she is a top priority in your life! Your rewards are out of this WORLD!!A Lord, I ask You to forgive me for not spending enough time with my wife. So take a few minutesA every so often to write a little note or card and leave it for your wife to find. They are constantly observingyou, so make sure they are seeing you live a pure and holy life, and give them honor and respect as you do it.a€? A If youa€™ve been preaching at your husband to no effect, perhaps ita€™s time for you to change your method. HowA much time and effort does it take for you to pick up an ink pen and a piece of paperA and write two or three sentences of appreciation to your wife? Make the quality decision to stop talking to him about the things youa€™ve been wanting him to change in his life.


Ita€™s a small investmentA of time and creativity that speaks volumes to your wife about your love for her.A 10.
I am so sorry Ia€™ve been so selfish and havena€™t been the husband I need to be for my wife. Always remember special dates, such as your wifea€™s birthday or your weddingA anniversary. Leave your husband alone, and let God deal with him.A When you suddenly fall silent and cease to preach at your husband, I guarantee you that he will notice a change has taken place in your approach toward him.
Men tend to forget these things, but these are special memories to aA wife and it means so much to her when these times are celebrated with her husband.A Also, dona€™t forget to buy her a gift for these occasions.
As Goda€™s Spirit works in meA and transforms me more and more into the image of Jesus Christ, I am becoming a betterA husband to my wife. Because I love her deeply and regularly show my love to her, she feelsA secure and confident in our relationship. He will a€?beholda€? that you are leaving him alone and that you have chosen to take a different route.A As you learn to stay silent rather than preach at your husband, he willA begin to hear the Holy Spirit speaking to his heart. If you do any of theseA eleven things, you are sending a wrong signal to your wife, for none of theseA actions will make her feel cherished and treasured by you. As a result, she is willing to follow me whereverA God leads and is supportive of my decisions.
And when your husband sees you maintain an excellent attitude in the midst of circumstances that arena€™t going your way, his heart will be drawn to you.
Hea€™ll begin to get convicted, and his desire to do more to please you will start to grow.A You see, wife, Peter knew exactly what he was talking about when he wrote that you could win your husband without a word. Therefore, ita€™s time for you to get before God and ask Him to change your heart and your attitude about your husband.
Husband, how much time in a week do you think you spend using your remoteA control to mindlessly flip through the television channels?A 2. Even if she smiles and laughs, trying to shrug off your verbal jabs,A this kind of behavior on your part is deeply hurtful to your wife. Husband, what can you eliminate from your schedule so you can spend moreA time with your wife? If there is a conflict between you, wait until you get homeA where you can talk about it privately, but never make fun of her or put her downA in front of others. Are you sending her the right message when you never haveA time for her, but you somehow have time for everyone else? Help me to stop focusing on all the things I dona€™t like about him and to startA working on all the things that need to change inside me.
And I must ask you again, do you want her to point outA all your flaws in front of other people? Have you had moments when youa€™ve heard the Holy Spirit say, a€?Leave your husbandA alone, and Ia€™ll deal with hima€?? You would prefer that she speak to you privatelyA about such matters, so show her the same courtesy.A A 3. Did you leave your husband alone as the SpiritA instructed you, or did you keep hammering at him to do what you wanted?A 3.
Never tell your wife there isna€™t enough money in the budget for her to buy a new outfitA a€” and then turn right around and spend a lot of money on yourself, your fishingA trip, your hobbies, grills, tv's etc.
When she sees you do this, it communicates to her that youA love yourself more than you love her. When you consistently make time for everyone in your life except yourA wife, you are making a very big mistake. If needed, cancel something in your scheduleA so you can give attention to this most important relationship in your life.A A 5.
Too often men act as if they are racing when they walk,A usually leaving their wives to walk five to fifteen feet behind them. Now, I understandA that you may think your wife walks too slowly, but what is the use of racing in frontA of her if you must then stop, turn around, and wait for her to catch up with you? ItA takes the same amount of time to get to your destination, whether you walk alongsideA your wife or you walk ahead and then wait for her. She wants to be the one and onlyA woman in your life, so comparing her to other women is not wise and shows greatA disrespect.
Your sexual relationship is a time ofA intimacy that is to be shared only between the two of you. Therefore, when youA make jokes about it or talk about it in front of others, you are humiliating your wifeA and making her feel cheap. This is certainly not a way to cherish her or to treat herA like a treasure!A 8.Never lie to your wife or tell a half-truth to cover your tracks. If you violate her trust by lying to her and she discovers it,A your act of deception will affect her ability to trust you in the future. It may be difficult for her to hear what you have to say, but at least she will know you are being honest with her.
If she discovers you have been lying to her, this will result in a far greater hurt than if you honestly admit to her what you have done wrong.A 9. Men who consistently forget these twoimportant dates and yet expect their marriage relationship to stay healthy are either ignorant or stupid.
Seeing how attentively she takes care ofA their children and how she lovesA their sona€™s wife or daughter's husbands.
As noted earlier, the word a€?givea€? describesA a calculated decision to show attention, awareness, or consideration to someone else.
This pictures a purposeful and premeditated action by a husband to intentionally showattention and demonstrate consideration for his wife.A If these kinds of thoughtful acts dona€™t come naturally to you, ita€™s time for you to learn how to doA them. The truth is that you showA kindness and consideration to other people, so youA can do the same for your wife as well.
After you talk to the Lord,A it is also important that you humble yourself and ask your wife to forgive you as well. Let the Holy Spirit teach you, correct you, and show you how to becomeA more sensitive to the woman you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with.
I accept responsibilityA for the role I have played in wounding her and making her feel unimportant. As I follow Your leading in this area, please heal my wifea€™s heart andA bring tenderness back into our relationship once more.
I accept Your challenge to purposefullyA show the honor, attention, respect, and tenderness she deserves.
My wife feels loved, respected, esteemed, andA special because I do the things that communicate value to her. When is the last time you did something really extra special for your wife toA show her how much you love and care for her?A 2. Have you been guilty of jesting about your wife in front of others or of puttingA her down in front of the children?



Motivational quotes of the day for weight loss
What a girl wants movie full cast
How to get a guy kiss me




Comments to «What do husbands want most from their wives wiki»

  1. body_love writes:
    Men with body herself and realize.
  2. vahid050 writes:
    Most vital asset is your face Uncover.
  3. xoxanka writes:
    What you look like men in episode 12 you will understand the.
  4. Lady_BaTyA writes:
    Aware of what it is that is causing his sensitive side pining for.


2015 Make video presentation adobe premiere pro | Powered by WordPress