After my mother got a divorce 30 years ago, there she was, an intelligent, charming, graduate-educated, attractive woman with a lot to offer, but the men who wanted to date her were mostly losers.
On one two-week backpack trip in the mountains, she met a likely candidate, though he was somewhat shy and didn’t speak to her for the first week. When I say “club” I am talking about some place where you interact socially with other people while doing something fun. Other types of clubs include athletic clubs like martial arts, for example – something few people ever think of. Boxing gyms aren’t what they used to be – instead of sweaty, all-male enclaves they are open to everybody, and usually they love women students. If those sorts of things don’t appeal to you, and I understand, think of other types of clubs. If you’re interested in business, seek out your local chamber of commerce, which should have meet ups and mixers every month where local entrepreneurs and executives get together to network. Business groups like Toastmasters are also fun, as you will not only meet people, but you’ll learn to overcome your fear of public speaking (if you have that fear). That’s how people met while having fun back in the day, and it still works well even in our modern era.
Well, that’s based on what your interests are and also on the type of man you’re looking to meet.


But on about day six or seven, after they’d arrived in camp in the afternoon and set up their tents, he asked her if she’d like to take a short hike around the area with her. Private martial arts schools can be expensive, so if you don’t have money to shell out, look for a community center class at a nearby university or YMCA.
What you want is something where you meet and interact with a lot of different people – not a group where you are passive or work only with the teacher or one person. The men you meet there are likely to be go getters who were brave enough (or crazy enough!) to quit their safe, steady jobs and start their own business. Forget all the pick up joints and desperately seeking anybody type places where everybody’s going to try and hook up.
That was something she was interested in, and it also put her into contact with non-couch-potato types of men who enjoyed the outdoors. There are bowling leagues and clubs in most cities and towns, and that’s a great way to meet people and have fun.
Big universities often have clubs that people from the community can join, and there’s the added attraction that you’ll likely meet smart men there, since they study or teach at the university. Gyms have fitness classes where you can jump rope, hit the heavy bag, learn how to wrap your hands and throw a punch. They wade right out into the middle of the river, where the salmon are leaping up to get over that waterfall, and then they open their mouth.


And, best of all, the length of the backpack trips gave her a chance to really get to know the men.
Even if you don’t meet the man of your dreams, you’ll have a good time, get some exercise, and learn something valuable. Sitting at a “singles bar” waiting for someone to approach you is lonely and depressing, and the people you’re likely to meet there aren’t high quality. Or a music club – go for something different, like traditional Japanese or Korean drumming.
Do some thinking about something fun you’d like to do or learn, and find a club or class you can join.
That’s what you need to do – find a place where there are lots of interesting and available men.
Do your homework – this should be a place men go to (ballroom dancing is fun, but the odds are low) and where you yourself will have fun.
Because if you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, it shows, and you’ll attract guys with your air of happiness and confidence.



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