Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief. Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves. I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks. My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. One of my chief regrets during my recent years in the theater is that I couldn't sit in the audience and watch me. A man must pay the fiddler, in my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized. My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today. Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.

He first gained fame as a handsome stage actor in light comedy, then high drama and culminating in groundbreaking portrayals in Shakespearean plays Hamlet and Richard III.
A member of the Drew and Barrymore theatrical dynasties, he initially tried to avoid the stage, and briefly attempted a career as an artist, but appeared on stage together with his father Maurice in 1900, and then his sister Ethel the following year. I am not an actor-killer, but I like my Hamlets to dislike actors, if you know what I mean, and I think you don't.

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