The entertainment business is hard on relationships, but it's just as hard on your own spiritual well-being. Ralph Winter Quote“The entertainment business is hard on relationships, but it's just as hard on your own spiritual well-being.
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Relationships these days are harder now because conversations become texting, arguments become phone calls, and feelings become status updates. Subscribe to Daily Inspirational QuoteEnter your email address to subscribe and receive daily quotes by email. We often experience resentment toward other people when we find it hard to forgive them and hold onto unspoken pain.
Whenever we feel we’ve been treated unfairly, judged, or wronged, we have a very powerful internal reaction.
The unexpressed painful emotions we experience as a result of other peoples’ actions have the potential to transform into resentment if they are not released in a healthy, effective, and timely way. If left unresolved, resentment has the power to be all consuming, and is very effective at fuelling anger. In turn, unexpressed, internalized anger is a ticking time-bomb which can lead to abusive or self-destructive behavior, or a combination of both.
Resentment is a very personal and private emotion, as it has almost no effect on the person it is directed toward. Given a conducive set of circumstances and enough time, I can experience resentment on a powerful scale.
I grew up believing it was unacceptable to express hurt, disappointment, frustration, or anger toward the people who evoked these very emotions in me. By the time I reached my teen years, I had unwittingly yet wholeheartedly perfected the internalization of painful emotions. Resentment had found a comfortable home inside me, neighbored by my reluctance and fear of expressing myself.
Whenever anyone hurt me, intentionally or otherwise, I would simply deny my emotions by storing them in a box inside me labelled “deal with this later.” However, later never came. As a young adult I began to reflect; to try to understand how my behavior, reactions, and choices were affecting my overall well-being and happiness in life.
At first, I felt weak for not being able to consciously override my existing behavior patterns and simply create newer, healthier thought processes and actions.
It took a lot of honest and thoughtful self examination to begin to realize, understand, and accept what was preventing me from living a life free from bitterness.
After years of denying myself the full spectrum of my emotions, I resented anyone who stirred powerful, “negative” feelings inside me. Looking back, I feel that if I had expressed myself more truthfully, I would not have clung so desperately to the resentment and anger. To be fully free and completely ourselves, we must feel comfortable enough to outwardly express our emotions, whatever form they take. Allowing ourselves to feel our full range of emotions is not only liberating and necessary, but it also helps cleanse us of negativity which we may be subconsciously holding on to. Many of us are conditioned to see emotions as “good” and “bad.” To regard the complexity of emotions as either black or white belies the learning opportunities which are embedded and disguised in experiencing them.
For example, jealousy could be regarded as a “bad” emotion; however, if we open our minds and hearts, we could also see that this emotion is our own personal doorway to learning more about fear, trust, and connection. When someone hurts us, intentionally or accidentally, we have a responsibility to ourselves to express our pain. This needn’t be self indulgent or pitiful, but an understanding that it is our right to express that pain in an effective, healthy manner which helps us to let go and move forward.
When we stop trying to control our feelings, and start embracing the colorful way in which our hearts communicate with us, life begins to teach us our most important lessons. It takes huge strength and courage to express and communicate our pain to the people who hurt us. But when we communicate painful emotions, we take a step outside of our comfort zone and into a wonderful learning and growth opportunity.
Forgiveness sets you free from resentment’s confines; it breaks down the walls that anger builds and negativity reinforces.


Letting go of resentment doesn’t necessarily lead to forgiveness, but when you embrace forgiveness, resentment ceases to exist. When we commit to expressing ourselves fully, we become stronger, more confident, and more aware. I really enjoy your writing style – I’m so grateful that you shared this article on Tiny Buddha! Hi Jameilla, I can really empathize with your situation, as I went through something similar with an ex.
Hi Taryn, thanks for your feedback ?? Working through resentment with self expression, honest living, communicating your emotions and forgiveness is the best way I have found that works for me.
Great article!  I love how you remind us that resentment “has almost no effect on the person it’s directed towards – it reside within the owner”.   This is sooo true. I too can experience resentment on a grand scale, and most likely for the same reasons as you, inability to express strong emotions in previous relationships.
Hi Minami, that’s excellent that you were able to use what I wrote about and put it into real life practice!
I was in an unhealthy long-term relationship with a young woman I thought I was going to marry, and she broke up with me three months ago after blaming me for all of her problems. I should also mention that I really do have everything going for me, and she is a user who is going to have to face reality sooner or later. I practice yoga and meditation and have been through many spiritual healing, the hurt she has caused me emotionally over the years and the two assaults are too much. Ok, so what if I DO do these things and it doesn’t matter to the man, and he turns it back on me,like it’s all my fault and hurts me more? Forgiveness is a quality I have yet to learn and resentment is something powerful in me, if there was a way to truly forgive my ex for everything he did to me, would it help in letting him go? This brought me to tears of happiness after nearly a year of searching for something to articulate my self-imposed prison.
I’ve always restricted my feelings and found it as a form of lying to myself, conflicts are inevitable and this article made me happy by assuring me its okay to admit to feelings, they do pass over with time.
It is near Abigail Adams Cairn, marking the site from which Adams witnessed the Battle of Bunker Hill at age seven.
We feel them intensely and deeply, because they challenge us to reassess the self-image we hold of ourselves. My resentment toward others was intrinsically linked to my own inability to express painful emotions. I also believe I would have welcomed forgiveness and been able to enjoy closer relationships with others more readily. In doing so, we expose our vulnerable side—the very part that we want to protect and keep safe. For example, “When you raise your voice, I feel scared and disrespected,” or “When you ignore me, it makes me feel unappreciated.” Choose the right words to convey your feelings. Your words will have more effect if you are able to express them from a strong, healthy standpoint. It may also help the relationship, but your main motivation for communicating and expressing your feelings is your commitment to living a truthful life, free from resentment.
The ability to wholly and truly forgive is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself. We acknowledge we want the very best for ourselves; accepting that our past makes us the person we are today, and embracing that. When we practice truthful living, self-expression, and forgiveness, resentment simply has no place or power in our lives. This was exactly how I felt at the time, and I am so thankful that I figured out how to change it, let go and move forward. In that circumstance I had to find a healthy outlet to express my pain, whilst knowing I could not directly express it towards him. Your words are very supportive and much appreciated ?? Yes – we certainly do have a right to express our emotions. I’m really glad that you were able to relate so well and that the article helped you. That is so admirable that you have been able to learn to express all of your emotions, especially the ‘bad’ ones!


I have acted like a victim my whole life being submissive to family members and friends who would use and hurt me. When it comes to relationships with other we forget the most important relationship, the one we have with ourselves. For nearly three years, at the age of 14, he accompanied Francis Dana as a secretary on a mission to St. It can mutate and develop into a warped veil, which prevents us from seeing the world from a healthy, balanced perspective. It’s not always easy, but the more we believe in the importance of self expression, truthful living and forgiveness, the more peacefully we can live our lives.
I was in a situation over the summer where I couldn’t express the hurt I felt from an ex. It takes so much strength of character to work through all the intense emotions and feelings at the end of a relationship, especially when you have been really hurt. Thank you for the guidance on how to let go – I think there are some practical tips that can definitely help me in the process. I am always striving to do this, knowing that the reward is feeling a more authentic, true person ?? Thanks again Janet! I can positively say that my dealing with and learning to let go of resentment has improved my life and taught me a lot about myself and how I can be a better person. Its a very important step towards fully letting go and making peace with past events which hurt you. Or when it comes to new relationship that resembles the same, we will embrace it but this time with fear of releasing real emotions as the past has give us a very bad side effect. Ambassador to Brazil Condy Raguet's "rashness and intemperance" nearly "brought this country and Brazil to the very verge of war"? It made it harder of course, but in the end I was so much stronger for it ?? I hope you can work through your challenges in a way that is right and healthy for you.
And because I most likely never will, I had to find the strength to let go of that resentment for my own self. But it sounds like you are definitely on the right road to letting go and moving towards a really healthy place.
From my own experience I can relate to these feelings you describe, and no matter how doubtful I felt at the time that things would not get better, they eventually did, with lots of support from trusted family and friends. She’s the kind of person who makes rash, emotional decisions and then ends up regretting them. This only began to happen when I stopped pushing my feelings away and instead, embraced them. I like your point about letting go being an incremental process – very, very true – but something that we can easily forget! The tiny buddha website and community on twitter and facebook is also a fantastic source of encouragement, inspiration and simple wisdom when it comes to self development and personal growth. Even if she does come back to me, I want to be in a grounded place so that I can make rational decisions without my emotions playing a part. I am in the stage now where forgiveness is pushing its way in little by little and thus, I can feel the resentment starting to lift. Megginson, "Lessons from Europe for American Business", Southwestern Social Science Quarterly, 1963, 44(1): 3-13, p.
Its so true and the most important part is expressing to ourselves and not denying our right to feel what we feel.
That feeling that everything's going to be okay and that there's going to be someone there to help make sure of that. So Keep reaching for the goals and dreams that you create with your heart and soul ,and every time that you are able to achieve an accomplishment, be sure to make another goal, and another dream ,so that you will never stop growing in life my friends!




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