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By clicking on the button above, I confirm that I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy. Jenna voiced a common concern among single Christians looking for a lifelong partner: “My spiritual beliefs and values often make dating a very risky pursuit.
Of course, the problems don’t disappear when Christians choose to date only other Christians.
Let’s be honest: Dating is complex and confusing for nearly everyone—often even more so for those who want to safeguard their spiritual beliefs and moral values in an anything-goes culture. Spiritual beliefs are a large part of who you are and will play a vital role in any lasting relationship.
I’ve been set up with guys—even ones who know I’m a Christian—who expect me to go along with their lifestyle choices: sex, drugs, excessive drinking, and the rest. As Brad said, “I’ve heard Christian dating advice that assumes all Christians are exactly the same. A key Christian principle says that what is in a person’s heart determines how that person acts—all the decisions he or she makes, for better or worse.

Some Christian singles are reluctant to voice their convictions for fear of being labeled “old-fashioned” or “narrow-minded.” But it’s best to be up-front about what is and is not acceptable to you. Chances are there is someone—a pastor, mentor, teacher—whose perspectives and opinions you hold in high regard.
Other times, guys find out I’m a Christian and automatically assume I’m uptight and judgmental. Lots of Christian dating advice focuses on behavior—how far is too far physically, what people of faith should or shouldn’t do in a dating relationship, and so on. If you traveled to a large city, you would get clear directions to your exact destination so you don’t end up in an unsafe area. Many awkward and compromising situations can be avoided by simply being honest with your date about your standards. There’s a broad spectrum of what it means for people to call themselves a Christian—from very liberal to very conservative and everything in between. Some of that advice might be helpful, but most helpful is the recognition that conduct follows convictions and actions follow attitudes.

If your dating partner resists your efforts to be true to your beliefs, then do yourself a favor—gracefully bow out. Ask them to watch your back, encourage you hold firm to your convictions, and keep you accountable. In the book of Proverbs, Solomon wrote, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (4:23). Sound judgment in matters of love and romance springs from a heart rooted in and nurtured by your most deeply held spiritual beliefs. If holding to your values is important to you, take time to identify them before you start dating.
And strength is what Christian singles need when navigating the tumultuous waters of potential romance.

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