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09.04.2014
Rene has a Master of Divinity from Andrews University, and a Master of Education and a Ph.D. I love the image of a potter working with clay to mold and? shape it into something beautiful and not yet seen. Adler’s first concept is that children are social beings and ?behave within social contexts. Alfred Adler jokes that he could cure a client’s depression in just ?fourteen days by asking the client to do one nice thing for another person ?each day. And last, but certainly not least, when working on positive ?discipline, always make sure your child hears a message of love is heard. Remembering and mastering the concepts presented by Adler in? Nelsen’s book can be a daunting task, especially if certain patterns have already been in place for quite some time. Quispe is Director of Behavioral Education at Pacific Health Education Center, a Christian institution, where he teaches.A  He is a member of the National Council of Family Relations and he and his wife are both members of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
This imagery works not only ?for our relationship with our Creator but also for parents and their children.? A child is like a lump of clay that the Lord gives to parents—a precious, small lump with it’s own unique ?color and texture. You can win your child over by showing empathy, ?sharing your own feelings and perceptions, making sure he or she feels heard, and focusing on a solution? rather than a problem (Nelsen, 1981). Adler notes that discouraged children try ?to demonstrate that they don’t feel like they belong or that they are significant. This idea emphasizes the importance he puts on developing social ?responsibility in children. When we act out of impatience or frustration, our bottom-line message of?“I love you” doesn’t get heard. Christian Counseling? can help parents and children learn to navigate misbehavior and practice positive communication.


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Parents have ?the opportunity to mold the clay into the person they would like their child to? be. I also have great respect for Alfred Adler, an influential psychotherapist, who developed ideas, practices, and interventions in the field of family therapy.
For example, if your child comes to you reporting they have been wronged by a sibling and would like you to intervene, begin by ?repeating what you hear your child saying. When children are thriving and developing? strengths, they have a sense of belonging and significance.
Children may whine for attention, which then frustrates ?the parent, creating the opposite result the child was hoping for. When your? child misbehaves, take a moment to ask yourself “What is he or she really trying to? say?” or “What messages are they sending me right now?” Often, children are not ?even aware they are sending coded messages to us. Adler suggests building resiliency ?in children by helping them feel capable by contributing. You may even try asking your children, “What can we ?learn from this?” Parents can also model this behavior by sharing experiences? where they made a mistake and learned something new as a result (1981). And the final step of recovering from mistake is to resolve the problem by working out a solution together. Counseling is the perfect? space to step back and take a look at patterns in the family, while offering support? and ideas for creating a peaceful home environment.
Positive Discipline  The classic guide to helping children develop self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and problem-solving skills.
Things such as, “I hear you saying?your sister wasn’t being fair” or “It sound like you are really upset”, will ?begin the process of winning over your child.


According to Nelsen, “the goal of all behavior is to achieve a sense of belonging and significance within the social environment” (1981).
All it might take is a few ?moments to process what is going on underneath the anger, yelling, or? stubbornness (1981). Nelsen? highlights in her book the “Three R’s of Recovery,” which are: [1] Recognize, [2] Reconcile, and [3] Resolve. For example, if in the heat of the moment you tell your child they are being stupid, start by taking a step back and recognizing the role you are playing in the interaction. In this article I will draw upon Nelsen’s insight and Adler’s concepts to highlight 6 tools for positive discipline in Christian parenting. After internally recognizing the mistake you have made, share your realization with your child followed by an apology for your behavior.
When children misbehave, parents have an opportunity to control their responses so that their actions can be used to further mold their child. Learning to use these tools effectively provides parents with a powerful means for shaping their children in positive and affirming ways. This opens an opportunity to share where your frustrations came from and may lead to a discussion of how to avoid these conflicts in the future. Following the Three R’s of Recovering can make it easier to accept responsibility for mistakes because they are turned into learning opportunities.



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