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25.09.2014
Maybe we need to do more to help our children learn about why they are frustrated, saving both of us from the negative consequences of unacknowledged emotions. Emotion coaching is the proactive approach parents can take to teach their children about emotions and how emotions work in our lives. If you have kids, you more than likely have seen their frustration levels fluctuate at certain points.
Children simply do not have all of the skill sets required to solve all of their problems, so there will be situations where they are simply unable to reach their goals. If you see that your child is becoming frustrated to the point of moving onto anger, help your child acknowledge the emotion of frustration. When I get frustrated I take 10 deep breaths and think about how I can try something new to solve the problem I’m facing. The ability to take stock of the situation and adjust the goals is something that even adults have difficulty doing.
There will also be times where a positive break away from the situation will not be possible and creating smaller, more manageable goals will not help the situation.
All plans come as a Standard license, and can be upgraded to an Enhanced license at any time. Have you ever watched as your child tried to do something, only to be blocked somehow, and the frustration was visible on his face?
By acknowledging emotions, giving them names, and validating them in our children when they are experiencing them, we are beginning the process of emotion coaching. Taylor points out to parents about frustration is the key relationship it plays with anger and despair. We can help our kids learn this skill by encouraging them to look at the task in smaller chunks of success.


Make sure your children are able to give themselves permission to walk away and try something new another day. She is also on an incredible journey as she home schools her 4 children, and is supported through it all by her husband of more than 15 years, Steve. Everyone who signs up gets full access to our entire library, including our curated collections.
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The eyebrows start to furrow, his snose scrunches up in strange contortions, maybe the lip curls, or his fists start to clench and unclench. Jim Taylor, a clinical associate professor at the University of Denver and a specialist in the psychology of sports and parenting, parents need to help their children identify frustration and head it off at the pass before it begins a negative chain of emotional events. He describes a chain reaction of events, beginning with frustration left unresolved, moving to anger left unresolved, ending in despair. It can be the trigger for problem solving and the motivating factor for finding a better way.
Once they can clearly see what their end goal looks like, it is easier to see how they might get there. Focusing on smaller goals can sometimes help reach the bigger picture while avoiding the overwhelming frustration that comes when one large goal can’t be met.
If at any time you're unsatisfied with your experience with us, you can cancel your subscription. Frustration is setting in full force, and a full-on burst of anger might not be far behind.


John Gottman is the premiere expert on emotion coaching, breaking down the process of coaching into 5 steps, including helping them find resolutions when needed. Repeated experiences with despair result in children who use an internal shut-off valve to stop themselves from trying things or setting goals. For older kids it might mean taking a day off from the task at hand and pursuing other more enjoyable activities.
If one or two small goals aren’t met, it doesn’t have to necessarily mean that the whole idea is a loss. Problems occur when parents don’t acknowledge this frustration or teach their children how to acknowledge it. Taylor warns parents to be observant of their children’s goals and be aware of the possibility for achievement.
These breaks give kids the opportunities to find successes elsewhere and help reinforce that they can reach goals. Taylor gives some tangible ways parents can help their children deal with frustration without losing their own cool, and it begins with understanding the ideas behind emotion coaching. The reality is that trying harder is not always going to get our kids to reach their goals. Sometimes it is a matter of maturity, available resources, or environmental factors beyond their control.



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