Sometimes children are traumatized by the death or a sibling, particularly if the death was sudden, an accident that the surviving child witnessed or other frightening circumstances.
Realize that everyone grieves differently – watch for signs and symptoms listed above. Talk about your own feelings if you can do so without overwhelming the surviving child with your emotions.
Find support in the community – groups are great for parents and children who are grieving. Related postsHelping Children Cope with the Loss of an Unborn ChildThe pain of losing a pregnancy is not just felt by the mother and father, but also on the children.

Conflicting feelings, sibling rivalry, birth order challenges and competition for parental affection are a few of the issues that siblings must work through repeatedly. Because of this, when a child of any age loses a sibling to death, the impact can be devastating.
They may subconsciously feel angry toward their parents or others who did not prevent the loss of their sibling.
Children who are generally easygoing might begin to have tantrums, throw their toys or become easily frustrated. Triggers, anniversary dates of the death, holidays, birthdays and occasions when the sibling would generally be present may be very difficult for many years. Their eating patterns may be also be disrupted, which could result in a loss of appetite or eating to soothe their unconscious emotions. Talk about how to ensure the surviving child(ren) are taken care of physically and emotionally.
All of these are normal developmental challenges that are worked out in families over time, usually with little awareness of the parents.
Regardless of age, children and teens usually experience the same stages of grief as adults. It is the unconscious nature of these emotional reminders makes grief especially hard for children.

The change in energy level, loss of interest in things they usually enjoy and change in countenance could go on for many weeks. If you notice any of these symptoms, or lingering depression and anger, contact a counselor for an assessment. Kids need to know that the adults are in control, even if that means Grandma, aunts, neighbors, etc. Understand that as long as your surviving child is safe and being cared for physically and emotionally, you are doing your job. Even the most sophisticated parents would have difficulty recognizing all these underlying forces at work!
With time, your child will have more good days than bad, and eventually the sadness and anger will be fleeting except during holidays, anniversaries, etc..
Even if others are taking an active role in the child’s daily care, as long as your communicate with your child and provide as much stability as possible, you will all get through it in time.

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