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14.11.2013
MOTIVATED MOM: In her time seeking children on the Internet, Nicole Eason has referred to herself as Big Momma and Momma Bear. KIEL, Wisconsin – Todd and Melissa Puchalla struggled for more than two years to raise Quita, the troubled teenager they'd adopted from Liberia. Nicole and Calvin Eason, an Illinois couple in their 30s, saw the ad and a picture of the smiling 16-year-old. On Quita's first night with the Easons, her new guardians told her to join them in their bed, Quita says today. Within a few days, the Easons stopped responding to Melissa Puchalla's attempts to check on Quita, Puchalla says.
The Puchallas had rescued Quita from an orphanage in Liberia, brought her to America and then signed her over to a couple they barely knew. When she arrived in the United States, Quita says, she "was happy … coming to a nicer place, a safer place. The teenager had been tossed into America's underground market for adopted children, a loose Internet network where desperate parents seek new homes for kids they regret adopting.
Through Yahoo and Facebook groups, parents and others advertise the unwanted children and then pass them to strangers with little or no government scrutiny, sometimes illegally, a Reuters investigation has found. The practice is called "private re-homing," a term typically used by owners seeking new homes for their pets. A woman who said she is from Nebraska offered an 11-year-old boy she had adopted from Guatemala.
Reuters analyzed 5,029 posts from a five-year period on one Internet message board, a Yahoo group. The Reuters investigation found that some children who were adopted and later re-homed have endured severe abuse. The compact has been adopted by every state and is codified in various statutes that give it the force of law.
No authority tracks what happens after a child is brought to America, so no one knows how often international adoptions fail.
But many states say they are unable to keep track of the cases because their computer systems are antiquated. The failure to keep track of what happens after children are brought to America troubles some foreign governments.
The recent obstacles to bringing new kids to America could make the Internet child exchange even more appealing. Other participants wrote about openly defying government efforts, foreign and domestic, to keep track of children from failed adoptions (also sometimes called "disrupted" adoptions). NEW PARENTS: On the day her adoptive parents dropped her at the Eason trailer in Illinois, they snapped this picture inside the couple's kitchen.
The official who sent the memo, Stephen Pennypacker, says he issued the warning after a child welfare worker in one state noticed cases of kids being sent to new parents without the approval of authorities.
In the alert, Pennypacker asked that such cases be documented and reported to the national non-profit organization that oversees the ICPC. Some participants in that group both offered and sought children for re-homing, sometimes simultaneously.
The story of the Easons and the girls and boys they have taken through re-homing illustrates the many ways in which the U.S. The night before leaving Quita with the Easons, Melissa Puchalla showed her daughter a picture of the couple.
Today, Melissa Puchalla says, "Maybe a red light should've went off – too good to be true. Not only were the Easons willing to take Quita, but they would gladly do so through the simple device of a power of attorney document, about 400 words long. In the days that followed, two puppies scampered through the trailer, gifts from the Easons to Quita. The sleeping arrangements Quita describes are consistent with the experience of another child the Easons took in. Within days, the Easons had stopped answering Melissa Puchalla's calls or returning her emails, Puchalla says.
When Melissa Puchalla called the school Quita was supposed to attend, she talked with an administrator who then contacted state child protection officials.
LIBERIAN ORPHAN: In this picture, Quita went by the name Quita Davis and lived in a Liberian orphanage. As authorities searched for Quita, they discovered information that could have precluded the Easons from taking custody of the teenager, if the proper officials had been involved, adoption experts say. Illinois authorities determined that the Easons had fabricated a document they provided to the Puchallas called a "home study." It purported to be from a social worker who had visited their home and done background checks of the couple. Illinois officials did share their findings with the local sheriff's office and with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Taking Quita from the Easons and returning her to the Puchallas was the extent of the response by authorities. New York State Police concluded that the Easons had committed no crimes in their jurisdiction. Hundreds of other adoptive parents were seeking new homes for their unwanted children through Internet message boards like those that had featured Quita. Created in September 2007, a Yahoo group called Adopting-from-Disruption was a place where struggling parents sought support from one another. For an investigation into how parents use the Internet to offload adopted children, Reuters analyzed more than 5,000 messages posted on the forum over a five-year period, September 2007 to September 2012. After Reuters shared its findings with Yahoo, the company acted quickly to shut down the group.
Even so, the information in the posts provides a clear indication of the expanse of the Internet child exchange and many particulars about the children offered on it.
Many worry that once kids get old enough to really be a help, they might not want to anymore!
But start them young when the really DO love to help, and they get in the habit of helping.
When mine were teens we'd try to only give them one BIG Job a day, so they were free to do their homework and maybe have a little time to relax before bedtime. A chart might look like this: (You can download this one as a Microsoft Word.doc here to customize it)! My husband came home from work one day when I was scurrying around exhausted, trying to get the house cleaned, dinner ready, etc, while the kids were watching TV.
DON'T CRITICIZE, and ALWAYS THANK THEM FOR THEIR EFFORTS FIRST, BEFORE you offer suggestions for improvement!
PLAN carefully beforehand so you know clearly in YOUR mind what you'd like to see accomplished (At least sketch out some ideas on paper).
Using the two HIGHEST ways to motivate your child, INCENTIVES (Rules), with LOVE (Relationship) gives you a much better chance of success at motivating your children.
1- Make a chore chart that matches the skills you think they can do, along with a schedule of when they need to have them done (Include Homework as a manditory chore, too). ONE IDEA FOR A MONEY REWARD: If you're using Money as a reward, decide the amount they will earn by the end of the week if they accomplish all their tasks, and convert that amount into dimes or quarters. A - At the beginning of the week place a jar with the decided amount of in coins on a high shelf where they can see it but are not allowed to touch it. B - Explain that IF they do all their chores as scheduled, that all the money left at the end of the week will be theirs to use as they wish. C - Also explain the penalty for slipups will be that a coin will be taken out for every chore left undone, and also penalties for unacceptable behaviors. D - Make a clear list of unacceptable behaviors that will be docked a quarter (or dime) and post it on the Fridge where they can see it regularly.
The good motivator here is that when they see one of 'their' quarters being taken out of the jar in front of them it really hurts and they want to avoid the loss next time. 3 - MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH WHAT YOU STARTED (It will be hard, but worth it in the end - and remember - Teaching them THEIR job IS YOUR JOB!
Drugs and Alcohol give a sense of FALSE FREEDOM that can lead to bad decisions, poor behavior, panic and fear - and can lead to jail or even mental illness.
Do you wish schools could get materials that help kids learn Art and reference CA Math standards, too? If you’re looking for inspiration, you can find all sorts of DIY Halloween Costume Ideas HERE. No need for a sewing machine for this project.  Just you and your little one having fun and making something they can be proud of! My 3 girls are completely smitten with Disney’s Frozen, particularly the character Elsa. From the moment we saw the movie in theater, my 3 year old was draping anything and everything around her head or neck, all in an effort to be Elsa. We had towels clipped on with claw clips, toilet paper (no joke), and baby brother’s blankies. Not to mention, I was pretty tired of tying fabric around their necks, so it had to be easy for them to get on and off by themselves.
I used a different age appropriate method for each daughter’s cape, so that they could help decorate and customize it to their liking (read more about that below).  We had so much fun together!!
I think it would be so fun to have a Frozen Party, and allow each child to decorate their own as a party favor.  The cape is so easy to make, that this is actually a feasible idea!
First, you will need to measure your child.  I took a measuring tape and measured, in inches, from her clavicle bone, around her shoulder and down to the floor.
To make your pattern you need a long piece of paper.  I stock up on paper rolls from Ikea when I go there, but you could always tape printer paper together or use some butcher paper. Come down to the train, and from the corner to the point of the marking of the child’s length, draw a diagonal line.


Now go back up to the top and draw a curved line (like shown above) down to the body length marking. And that is it!  You have made your pattern!  That really is the hardest part, and it isn’t even that hard. Take their length you measured in step 1, plus the 25 inches and that is how much you will need.  So for my 37 inch girl, I bought 2 yards and I had a bit extra. When you get to the neck straps, you will cut through the fold and around the curve of the pattern, so that it separates into 2 neck pieces.
We are doing this so the edges don’t fray all over the place, but are doing it without the sewing machine. You may want to test this out on your fabric, but I can vouch for chiffon and organza.  They burn great using this method. Your cape will be completely ready for the kiddo, as soon as you add a closure to the neck edge. Then I hot glued a little snowflake piece I found in the button section at Wal-Mart.  Nice touch, I thought. For my 3 year old, I simply taped some snowflake stencils (bought at Hobby Lobby) around her cape.
They are a little hard to see on the camera, but I think they look really pretty in person. First, I printed off some simple snowflake shapes which I googled.  Then, one by one, we put the paper under the fabric, and she used a bottle of dimensional fabric paint (with glitter of course, and found at Hobby Lobby), and traced the design right onto the fabric. SHE LOVED IT!!  Her hand was a little sore towards the end, but she loved it.  It dried beautifully. She then peeled off the paper side of the snowflakes and I ironed them down where she put them.  The heat and bond makes it so the fabric will not fray.
I’m sure your girls, whatever age they are, will enjoy making their cape – just as much as they do wearing it!
Lucy is part of Generation Y, the generation born between the late 1970s and the mid 1990s. I have a term for yuppies in the Gen Y age group—I call them Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies, or GYPSYs. To get to the bottom of why, we need to define what makes someone happy or unhappy in the first place.
Lucy’s Depression Era grandparents were obsessed with economic security and raised her parents to build practical, secure careers. They were taught that there was nothing stopping them from getting to that lush, green lawn of a career, but that they’d need to put in years of hard work to make it happen.
After graduating from being insufferable hippies, Lucy’s parents embarked on their careers. With a smoother, more positive life experience than that of their own parents, Lucy’s parents raised Lucy with a sense of optimism and unbounded possibility.
The GYPSY needs a lot more from a career than a nice green lawn of prosperity and security.
To be clear, GYPSYs want economic prosperity just like their parents did—they just also want to be fulfilled by their career in a way their parents didn’t think about as much. Unfortunately, the funny thing about the world is that it turns out to not be that easy of a place, and the weird thing about careers is that they’re actually quite hard. Lucy, on the other hand, finds herself constantly taunted by a modern phenomenon: Facebook Image Crafting.
Social media creates a world for Lucy where A) what everyone else is doing is very out in the open, B) most people present an inflated version of their own existence, and C) the people who chime in the most about their careers are usually those whose careers (or relationships) are going the best, while struggling people tend not to broadcast their situation. So that’s why Lucy is unhappy, or at the least, feeling a bit frustrated and inadequate. Anon at 12.27AM, excellent point which I was attempting to make when I saw you had made it better.
I can’t wait for next week’s article about how to be a Nice Imaginative Greatest Generation Ever Realist!
I did enjoy reading this… I see this through the eyes of a parent and a child It is also good to read the reactions.
No, you are not a Gypsy, not unless you are a member of a particular ethnic (my ethnic) background. It is an over simplification of reality and hardly true, plus it uses a cultural slur as an acronym.
The author is not wrong about millenials, but he (I’m guessing here) give Baby Boomers an unbelievable pass on being the most hypocritical, self-involved generation to date. My problem is trying to afford a studio apartment while handling food costs and student loans. One space only applies to typeset material (where that single space is kerned as needed.) Else, it was always two spaces. The only time I dared to argue with a boss over anything of this nature was to tell him that according to the American dictionary, color was spelled correctly and colour applied to the UK. I can’t say how happy it makes me that this has devolved into an argument about the two space rule. I assure you that the one space rule applies to AP, Chicago Manual, APA, MLA, and the various publisher specific style guides I use.
PS the APA guide is two spaces for manual drafts, but the published work will only include one space.
Putting two spaces after a period seems to be a uniquely English-language thing because I have never heard of this even being an issue in my own language. This adorable little house is beautiful and completely made out of the dreams of young children.
When they decided to give her up, they found new parents to take her in less than two days – by posting an ad on the Internet. They were eager to take Quita, even though the ad warned that she had been diagnosed with severe health and behavioral problems.
The Puchallas simply signed a notarized statement declaring these virtual strangers to be Quita's guardians. When she called the school that Quita was supposed to attend, an administrator told Puchalla that the teenager had never shown up.
The Easons had packed up their purple Chevy truck and driven off with her, leaving behind a pile of trash, a pair of blue mattresses and two puppies chained in their yard, authorities later found. Like Quita, now 21, these children are often the casualties of international adoptions gone sour. Based on solicitations posted on one of eight similar online bulletin boards, the parallels are striking. Within hours, it began shutting down Adopting-from-Disruption, the six-year-old bulletin board. Speaking publicly about her experience for the first time, one girl adopted from China and later sent to a second home said she was made to dig her own grave. Legal adoptions must be handled through the courts, and prospective parents must be vetted. It allows parents experiencing hard times to send their kids to stay with a trusted relative, for instance.
Even so, these laws are seldom enforced, in part because the compact remains largely unknown to law enforcement authorities. At least 70 percent of the children offered on the Yahoo bulletin board, Adopting-from-Disruption, were advertised as foreign-born. And the State Department won't disclose the number of failed international adoptions that are reported by adoption agencies. Residential treatment centers can be expensive, and some parents say social services won't help them; if they do contact authorities, they fear being investigated for abuse or neglect. On the bulletin boards, parents talk of children becoming abusive and violent, terrorizing them and other kids in the household.
Reporters examined ads for children and emails between parents, and also identified eight Internet groups in which members discussed, facilitated or engaged in re-homing.
Quita was unpredictable and violent, Melissa says, and her siblings had grown frightened of her. But she remembers vividly when her adoptive father, Todd Puchalla, stopped in front of a mobile home with an overgrown lawn. She calls the decision "the hardest thing we've ever done in our lives." Quita still can't reconcile it.
The dogs lifted the teenager's spirits, but they weren't housebroken and no one cleaned up after them.
They attached a makeshift camper to the truck bed of their purple Chevy S-10, packed most of their belongings and left the state. Although Puchalla had signed over custody of Quita, she says she felt obligated to ensure Quita was safe. A neighbor told a child welfare official that before the Easons left, Quita had told the neighbor's daughter that the Easons would be heading to upstate New York to visit Nicole's mother. She says she still cannot reconcile why the parents who adopted her from Liberia gave her away. Authorities then contacted the New York State Police, who located the Easons' truck in Stephentown, New York. The custody transfer took place in a hotel parking lot just off the highway, and the man who went with her to get the 10-year-old boy would later be sentenced to federal prison.
During that time, the group was one of the most accessible Internet forums for adoptive parents seeking new homes for their children. Reuters identified more than 500 members who particpated at least once during the five-year time period.
Some advertisements for children contained limited information – for example, the age or sex of the child is missing.


In the meeting I began to explain how I needed a little help around the house so I wouldn't be so tired all the time from doing all the work myself. When you use INCENTIVES (the sticker chart approach) they get something, PLUS they they will work harder if they love you!
For instance: sassing, bad words, hitting, fighting, yelling, leaving stuff lying around on the floor, not paying attention when you are talking to them, lying, etc . Usually they'd end up with a dollar or two taken out because of misdeeds or bad behavior, so a lot of the money was 'recycled' to the next weeks amount! But once in a while this technique will be extra difficult if you have a kid who just won't play by the rules and tries to steal the money before the end of the week! It will build up momentum if you keep it up, and become a good habit of accomplishment for your children. A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP WILL DO MORE TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT LIFE THAN ALL DRUGS IN THE WORLD! If you have a diagnosis of a mental disorder already, or a genetic predisposition to mental illness, stay away from non prescription drugs and alcohol - and stay INSIDE the SAFETYZONE! I remember being told in my youth that everyone will experience at least 20 minutes of fame in their lifetime (not really sure who said that). Then I gave her some glitter fabric paint (also Hobby Lobby) and a brush and let her paint inside the stencils. I’m sure you know Elsa stuff is impossible to find in the stores- making your own is a great idea- and yours are fabulous! This is because entitlement perceptions are often based on an unfounded sense of superiority and deservingness. The fact that the author chose to use the name of a particular racial and ethnic background is both insulting and absurd. And for the record, one reason why gen-Y has such over-inflated self-esteem and unrealistic expectations is because their boomer parents over-compensated for the tough love or full on neglect they felt from their own parents. Seems they don’t understand why a modern air conditioned Macmansion with 4 garages and a pool, 2 kilometres from the city centre doesn’t cost the same as the 2 bedroom fibro shack with no garage, or aircon and the toilet was a hole in the back yard that their parents bought for $50k (5 times their yearly salary) 40 years ago, and they feel hard done by! And as far as parents are concerned I also believe that they expect from their offspring more – you live in better world with more opportunities so you should not only get what you want, but also what we wanted but never could.
It offers an exhilarating sense of clarity and character to my writing IMO (sorry, I mean IMHO). There is something truly special about a house, high above it all, that you don't actually live in. The handoff took place at the Country Aire Mobile Home Park, where the Easons lived in a trailer.
Often, the children are treated as chattel, and the needs of parents are put ahead of the welfare of the orphans they brought to America.
Most of the children ranged in age from 6 to 14 and had been adopted from abroad – from countries such as Russia and China, Ethiopia and Ukraine. A spokeswoman said the activity in the group violated the company's terms-of-service agreement. Another re-homed child, a Russian girl, recounted how a boy in one house urinated on her after the two had sex; she was 13 at the time and was re-homed three times in six months. But with the rise of the Internet, parents are increasingly able to find complete strangers willing to take in unwanted children. Each state is also left to decide how to punish those who give or take children in violations of the compact's provisions. Often cited is the case of the Tennessee woman who returned a 7-year-old boy she adopted from a Russian orphanage.
As a result, the number of foreign-born children adopted into the United States has declined from a peak of almost 23,000 in 2004 to fewer than 10,000 a year today. In a nationwide alert to state child welfare authorities, an administrator for the ICPC warned that adoptive parents were sending children to live with people they met on the Internet. Reporters then analyzed thousands of posts from the group that Yahoo subsequently shut down, Adopting-from-Disruption. It shows how virtually anyone determined to get a child can do so with ease, and how children brought to America can be abruptly discarded and recycled. But what first caught the Puchallas' attention was the tube coming out of Calvin's neck a few inches beneath his chin. Melissa also devised a code: Quita would say "I love asparagus" over the phone if she felt in danger.
The man convicted of armed robbery who had traveled with the Easons to New York wasn't there. Make sure the jobs are 'do-able' for each child - perhaps some will only do one, 2 or three chores each day. Though you may already know who will get which chore in the end it helps to give them a feeling that they have invested in the plan if they 'help decide' the chores. In our house we were lucky to be able to afford ice cream once a week as our reward - or a trip to the 99 cents store where they could each pick out a toy or candy. Through Art that references the CA Math Standards - plus Character building educational materials.
The truth is that everyone else is just as indecisive, self-doubting, and frustrated as you are, and if you just do your thing, you’ll never have any reason to envy others. Were the author to have somehow come up with an acronym that read as “JEW” would you be saying the same thing? The final advice is quite good and needed, but when you frame that advice around an idealized and statistically skewed notion of how great previous generations were you alienate your target audience and wind up just preaching to the choir.
Further, if you were not a Gypsy and had ever began a legitimate career, you would realize that it is a very common practice in report writing done outside of academia, and even in academia it depends on your professor and often the location of the university. It's like a cottage when you're a kid, and the memories you could make in one of these are priceless. With all those winding angles, this one is fun to look at so it must be super fun to play in. The company subsequently took down five other groups that Reuters brought to its attention. Children can be sent to new families quickly through a basic "power of attorney" document – a notarized statement declaring the child to be in the care of another adult. By obtaining a power of attorney, the new guardians are able to enroll a child in school or secure government benefits – actions that can effectively mask changes of custody that take place illegally outside the purview of child welfare authorities. The agreement requires that if a child is to be transferred outside of the family to a new home in a different state, parents notify authorities in both states. It isn't unusual for the children they bring home to have undisclosed physical, emotional or behavioral problems. Some experts say the percentage could be higher given the lack of support for those parents. In addition, adoption agencies are supposed to report to the department certain types of failed international adoptions that come to their attention. The woman had cared for him only six months when she put the boy on a flight to Moscow in April 2010. A 10-year-old boy from the Philippines and a 13-year-old boy from Brazil each were advertised three times.
In fact, taking a child may enable the new family to claim a tax deduction and draw government benefits. She was heading back to Wisconsin, by herself, to the parents who had given her up not three weeks before. Everyone realized they could do SOMETHING, from the littlest 2 year old who could pick up his toys and put them in the toybox to the seven year old who loved to suck up things with the vacuum. We would get all the kids in a circle and have them 'choose' which chore they would do by having each chore written on a separate piece of paper, folded up and mixed up in a hat or bowl. If you wish you can also have a list of 'BONUS CHORES' that may be done to earn an extra quarter, or to 'undo' a bad deed to get a coin placed back in their jar that was lost.
God you know it was so original for the writer to think of this new condescending acronym that has vaguely condescending connotations to me. If you were lucky enough to ever have a tree house or visit a friend's, you may have been looking at something pretty simple and probably pretty rickety. The Easons view re-homing as a way around a prying government, and a way to take a child inexpensively.
Such agreements fail to satisfy the ICPC when custody of the child is exchanged across state lines and authorities in both states aren't involved. And even when they didn't do a perfect job, it was a training ground (for me too) to instruct them in how to do it even better (after thanking them for what they had done, first, of course). If you feel grateful for what GOMOMMYGO has done for you, we ask nothing in return, but if you can give, we recommend you give to EDU DESIGNS, a CA 501(c)3 Non Profit. Every major style guide—including the Modern Language Association Style Manual and the Chicago Manual of Style—prescribes a single space after a period. If a chore was really too hard for a younger child, an older child was appointed to help them, or perhaps the chore switched to another child, until eventually each person had an equal amount of work that felt fairly matched to their abilities. At the beginning of the next week we would rotate chores until each child had performed each chore to see what it was like.
Maybe YOU should’ve studied some Arts or Humanities instead of making wild assumptions and trying to shame people who did.
By that time we were all pretty well aware of who did which chore the best, and were able to decide if we wanted to keep the same chore for a few weeks, or switch, whatever worked best for all of us (I made sure Mom and Dad each had a chore to do as well). We became really good at debating issues of fairness and learned negotiating skills in the process!



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