How to parent your spirited child discipline,how to satisfy baby toilet needs in sims freeplay,potty training 9 year old 2014 - Plans On 2016

18.06.2014
For years now parents have understood the need to build strong self-esteem in their kids and one of the ways we do this is to tell them they’re clever when they achieve something, whether its walking unaided or tying a shoelace or reading a sentence. Of course it’s a good idea to encourage our children but what if our words are having the opposite effect?
Research, by Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, Carol Dweck, shows that focusing on a child’s intelligence or talent can be counter-productive and lead to the development of a mindset that actually prevents them from achieving.
People with a fixed mindset have no way of responding to mistakes or failures but tend to give up. In contrast others have a 'growth’ mindset, which means the belief that a person's natural capabilities and talents can be developed through application and effort.
Parents can encourage a growth mindset by not calling their children clever and instead paying attention to the effort the child employs, the improvements they make and the attitude they bring to a task. Parents can also encourage and model a healthy attitude to mistakes –accepting that as part of being human and looking for learning each time. Dads are more involved with children than ever before –in childcare and in housework.
Studies show dads are just as competent as mums to care for babies and know what to do when babies cry. Fathers make unique contributions to their children and infants respond to involved fathers differently than to mums. To begin with Dads do play with kids, while Mums sometimes don’t give it as much priority as they do the laundry, the cooking, the chauffeuring and the supervising of homework and music practice etc. Dads encourage kids to climb higher, go to the store on their own, go down the highest slides etc while mums may have to stifle the urge to keep their babies safe. When dads recognise their children’s struggles and allow them to experience some frustration and learning through failure they are helping children grow through experience. Dads are less prone to perfectionism than women in the parenting field and less apt to compare and judge their own or others’ parenting efforts. Dads are needed as good role models for their sons, especially in areas like school work, responsibility, handling physicality and aggression, how to treat women, how to handle and express emotions and seeking support when they need it. Cyberbullying is only becoming a bigger problem as the idea of anonymity online becomes increasingly popular. If your child is still young enough to be shown some savvy digital moves then you are in luck. However, if you are raising a tween or teen you may have to implement a whole new set of requirements for them to follow to keep their device. Most suggest fear based remedies that can end up being counterproductive as this tactic may make your child hyper vigilant and paranoid.
Offering them the opportunity to look through well taught eyes rather than panic at every situation they encounter will, in the long run, be the best gift you can give them. As it may begin somewhat innocently, when children tease one another their back and forth banter can quickly escalate into an ugly scenario. When in the presence of an adult it can rapidly be quelled with some talk lessons on the damage or potential damage it carries. Your child may seem well adjusted to school, friends, clubs, sports and so on for as they grow older face-to-face bullying lessens substantially. The University of California study recommended some school-based interventions as published by Science Daily.
Considering the gender differences for those that bully, different interventions may be warranted for boys and girls. It is important for teachers and parents to talk to students about cyber safety and to supervise internet and mobile device use to help prevent cyber victimisation. Fortunately, resources exist in the UK for anyone struggling to handle cyberbullying cases. For more information on cyberbullying and how it affects those targeted by it, check out the infographic below. Is it right that children who have already been at school for up to 8 hours take on a second night shift to do more essays, test papers or worksheets?
They may remember and mention it themselves, which is a great opportunity for Descriptive Praise, or they may not.
Each and every time we sit down to read a book for fun, or pick up a dictionary or search the web to research something, or visit a museum or art gallery or go to a talk or do some form of training we set our children a great example that learning takes place throughout our lives and that we enjoy ideas.
Hope everyone settles back into their new terms well and let us know your thoughts on homework. The tragic news last week of the death of one of the world’s most beloved actors and comics, Robin Williams, has left many of us reeling and wondering why people take their own lives.
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PS  Watch out for the follow up blogs on how to build a strong emotional foundation with your partner and reduce conflict between partners and how to communicate and bond with your baby. There is a great deal of research and evidence that shows that when fathers (and father figures) are engaged in their children’s lives children do better academically and socially and have stronger self-esteem.
Children whose fathers are emotionally engaged show greater resilience, are able to focus on their studies better, persevere longer, take reasonable risks and are less aggressive. From the time they are babies right through to adulthood women can encourage dads to take an active role with their kids by not criticising or laughing at their efforts but instead appreciating them for what they do. Any parent and certainly anyone with more than one child will attest to the fact that children are born with inbuilt personality traits, characteristics that define how they interact with the world. We can all recognise the above characteristics in ourselves too and sometimes one of the difficulties is the conflict between our own personalities and that of our children. Child psychologist Brian Daly, who teaches at Drexel University in Philadelphia said he often encounters families where parents have no problems with one child but a lot of problems with the other. Chitra Jha works in the field of Holistic Health – which includes physical, mental, emotional, relational, financial and spiritual health. HandsTel is helping parents come together as a community to protect our children at work and play. Get free access to Maternity and Pregnancy related information, especially written for Mothers-to-Be.
Research consistently shows that the earlier autism is diagnosed, the more positive the effects of early intervention are.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children be screened for autism during well child visits at 18 and 24 months of age. What if calling them ‘clever’ actually discourages them from trying or stretching themselves? Instead of focusing on results we can notice and comment on effective strategies our children use such as when they look up a spelling word in the dictionary or go back over notes before a test or by keeping an organised folder. It is also necessary so that kids know we appreciate them just for themselves, not compared to anyone else.
When Roald Dahl died his children wrote about their memories of him and predictably they valued the story telling and creating he encouraged in them. Mums generally play visual games and are verbal with babies and young children while dads are more physical and tactile. Encouraging self reliance and reasonable risk taking in children encourages them to discover what they are capable of and to grow in confidence. When we protect our children from their feelings of discomfort or frustration we can prevent valuable learning in the same way as if we prevent them from making discoveries physically. A great combination in a dad is that willingness to trust his instincts with an openness to new ideas. However, when it is transferred to a digital platform teasing remains beyond an adult’s supervision until it is too late.
As a mother of two, helping parents understand their teens is something she is very passionate about. However, in the meantime, if your children are in conventional education and need to cope with the here and now, here are our thoughts on to make homework easier and less stressful and less likely to extinguish a love of learning.


This way they get used to the idea that mistakes will happen, but they can identify them, put them right and move on. Or let the children take the lead on how to pursue an idea as they do in Finland, a country at the forefront of academic excellence and one that eschews the idea of homework. Mental illness can affect us all even without such catastrophic and well broadcast outcomes. Having a baby is an opportunity for a new beginning – new relationships are built, new goals are set and new dreams are created. If you found these ideas useful please share them with friends and family and for more parenting insights sign up for our newsletter.Happy parenting!
Our children need evidenced-based praise!  I was working with a group of 9 and 10 year olds this week who, when told they were brave or caring or kind immediately denied it!
The funny thing you find about children, the more they feel confident of having your attention, the less they fear they are going to be criticised for asking for your attention……the less they clamour for it! Rather than paying lipservice to it by buying a card for the kids to give Dad or (better) encouraging them to make one, it’s worth considering the role of fathers on this day.
Girls who get positive attention from their fathers also are less at risk from eating disorders and self-harm and make better partner choices. Mums need a lot of emotional support which is typically provided by women who are mothers and dad can feel pushed out.
It was great to see you had fed everyone and read stories (even if the house is a tip when you get back). It is good modelling for the children, stimulates their interest in those activities, includes Dad as part of the team and leaves more time for fun.
Encourage Dads to phone at a regular time when away from the home to make them feel included and to let children know their Dad is thinking of them. A strategy for training children to put their own shoes on (rather than Mum trying to encourage self- reliance and Dad doing it for them) or what to do when they have a tantrum (it won’t work if Mum thinks the child should go to their room and Dad thinks it is better to listen and try to find the source of the problem). Whatever the reason it is clear that tutoring is now so commonplace for many parents it is assumed to be a requirement of any child’s education.
One of our facilitators talks about trying to get her introverted son to be more social as she saw this as the way to happiness because she was such an extrovert herself. There are positives and negatives to each characteristic and it will really help if parents can see the good elements of certain character traits and know how to manage those aspects they find difficult. We need to recognise that it can lead to great frustration for the child and we need to help the intense child to recognise this quality about themselves and to teach them to respond to growing intensity before it overwhelms them. He will need help getting used to routine and will need a high degree of consistency –this may be difficult if the parent themselves is irregular. The phrase may mean different things to different people, but to me, it simply means that there is a lot that we can learn from our children. Connect with their spontaneity – Observe your children’s simplicity, spontaneity and connection with the ‘here and now’. Satisfy their desire to be loved – Notice how your children’s inmost desire to be loved gets expressed as their desire to please you.
See possibilities – Connect with their go-getter attitude, which always sees possibilities. Learn to wonder – Enter their make-believe world and see everything around them with wonder. Be tenacious – Notice how tenacious your children are – and how they don’t take no for an answer. Be vulnerable – Observe how they are open to failure and don’t make much fuss about losing (until you teach them to win at any cost). That makes it certain that someone you know will have a child affected by this devastating condition in your lifetime. Don’t rely on your pediatrician who only sees your child for brief visits to identify symptoms or delays. The risk-taking and struggle that is inherent in all learning is therefore not regarded as frightening, and more real learning can take place. Men have a unique style to their parenting that women tend not to have and children who don’t experience this are missing out. Fathers in two-parent families carry out an average of 25% of the family’s childcare related activities during the week, and one-third at weekends.
My guess is when we die our children will remember the play times and the conversations with us rather than the fact that we always ensured they had clean and matching socks.
If children become fearful they will not grow and will not acquire essential life skills and coping strategies for dealing with the world.
Dads are also important models for their daughters as they show them how to relate to the opposite sex. A recent report from our local hospital - St George’s in Wandsworth - highlighted that many new mothers are affected by depression post birth. However, as well as the excitement that comes with becoming a family the transition to parenthood also brings with it stresses for the couple which can impact on the infant.
We don’t want our children to see themselves as silly or bad or wrong and they will do that if they hear those labels applied to them. It’s really better to be very wary of using negative labels of any kind around children including ones like shy, disorganised and bossy which we might not think are so terrible. In addition when dads are involved from an early point in a baby’s life the couple relationship benefits, if the couple should separate there is higher degree of father contact, fathers adopt healthier lifestyles, and mothers are less likely to smoke or suffer from depression.
He may feel inexpert as mum spends more time with the new infant (sometimes the women may even laugh at dad’s incompetence at changing nappies, feeding, bathing) so he does what he knows how to do and spends more time at work. Get dads to encourage a healthy attitude to competition – have rules around rough play.
Of course tutoring is very widespread in the private sector as well where parents are already paying high fees. I’m still coaching my now adult children to understand the personality differences between themselves and their siblings. It helps you to recognize what’s going on inside of your child so you can understand how he is reacting to the world around him and why.
Parents need to let this child know what’s happening ahead of time and allow time for him to get used to things. He’d make a great ER doctor, DJ, pilot, police officer or other professional who works crazy hours.
Here are 10 ways in which we can learn how to be more ‘spiritual’ – and embody more of the spirit spark, which is our true self – by just observing our children and contemplating upon their free spirited natural behavior. See how they are not limited by the concept of time; and how easily they can lose themselves in play. Notice the innocence – and the lack of duplicity, labored refinement, affectation or sophistication. Learn from them how to say what you think and express what you desire – to mean what you say and to say what you mean without fearing what people might say. See how they are unafraid of displaying their ignorance; and how they create everything with gay abandon.
See how their disappointments are but momentary, as they soon find something else to be excited about. She also believes that a home is the most important place in the world, and unless our home becomes our heaven we cannot achieve our highest potential. Does your infant show an interest in looking at people’s faces or smile back at you when you smile at him?
When faced with mistakes or failures the growth mindset people believe that they can overcome through perseverance.
How a father treats his daughter sets up expectations for what she’ll look for in adult relationships with men. Once a child has to read a certain amount, or read for a set amount of time, it becomes a chore and the love is lost.


Research shows that after the birth of a child many couples experience a drop in relationship quality which can lead to compromised parenting and decreased quality in parent-infant interaction.
The results were not as I expected and it was truly alarming to discover that THE most digitally distracted person in the house was ME! When they think of themselves in those terms it’s not surprising if we get silly, bad or wrong behaviour. We run the risk of pigeon-holing our children and cutting off possibilities for them to be a different way. When we are criticised while parenting in the moment we can feel undermined and de-motivated.
Find a workable compromise for areas where you don’t have exactly the same values eg.
My 9 year old niece recently moved on from one of London’s top day schools to a gentle boarding school in the country.
Parents will know which of their children need to be told in advance what is going to happen (these ones need the five minute warnings before they have to stop playing and come to have a meal) and which ones will go with the flow. My extremely extrovert daughter will spend time with friends in order to re-charge her batteries while my son is perfectly happy with his own company and in fact needs to be on his own for periods to re-energise. They also identified nine other variables that measured behaviours and traits like wilfulness, moodiness, activity levels, distractibility, attention span, and regularity in sleep, hunger and other biological functions. He may dislike loud noises, bright lights and crowds, be overwhelmed by too much choice and clutter, he may dislike being touched and may find his clothes scratchy. Encourage her to listen by giving her lots of descriptive praise and by asking her to repeat your instructions.
Identification by 18 months and beginning early treatment may actually rewire the brain and change the symptoms totally. Delays can be suggestive of an autism spectrum disorder, but even if not, your child may still need early intervention. How will you take care of your own mental health to ensure that your baby gets the best possible start in life?
I have been finding over the years that I fallen into the distraction trap and was blissfully unaware of the impact it was having on all the family. We do want our children to take on good qualities as part of their identity, to build strong self-esteem and because a child who sees himself as helpful is likely to behave in a helpful manner. Make sure that if you’re giving him a card you include some descriptive praise for him. In fact studies show dads are just as competent as mums in knowing how to respond to a crying baby (Ross Parke: fathers held and rocked infants more than mums and equalled them in talking, kissing and exploring. Mothers are generally caretakers and teachers and are often more cautious.The differences are very marked in the way they each play with children. Some kids have phenomenal reserves of energy and can wear parents to a frazzle while others will occupy themselves quietly and may actually be quite difficult to enthuse.
Notice how their innately kind, caring and compassionate nature reflects itself through their eyes. See how they invigorate, stimulate and enliven the atmosphere around them – squealing in delight without caring who might be watching them. Take inspiration from their innovative and curious nature, and explore everything with a beginners’ mind. The digital world is here to stay and at The Parent Practice we are fully embracing it as we prepare for the launch of our on-line course. In other words tell him specifically what you like to do with him or what you appreciate about him.
Maybe you appreciate that he sits down with you quietly at bedtime and talks to you about your day and stuff you’re interested in.
Throwaway Dads: The myths and Barriers That Keep Men From Being The Fathers They Want To Be. Mums tend to play visual games and are verbal with children while dads are more physical and tactile.
This endemic has to stop.I confess that today my teenage son, who has specific learning difficulties, is currently accessing a tutor to help him with basic numeracy and to re-sit a Maths GCSE.
Some see the positive side of everything while others persist in seeing the cup as half empty.
Help him manage his feelings by talking to him about them, describing them and accepting them. Notice how they don’t have a care in the world, because they are not bogged down by what happened yesterday and what might happen tomorrow. Developing a culture of appreciation for each other will help greatly –that means telling each other regularly what you appreciate about each other.
The digital world is exciting and powerful and the opportunities it presents for children and adults (and businesses) is immense.I am starting to change my mindset around this however and becoming more aware of the impact of gadgets on our family life.
He will know others who are more helpful than he is and discount the well-intentioned words. Maybe you love the way he supports you in trying new things like riding your bike or flying a kite or learning guitar. The one-to-one environment of learning some basic arithmetic skills that were overlooked early in his education is one he is thriving on.
Provided dads know how to calm a child when over stimulated this style is very effective at helping children regulate emotions.
My partner and I kept a little book on our bedside table and we wrote one thing in it each evening that we appreciated about each other.
He was trying to say he did not feel important or valued and that special time when Mum could have been watching him was sabotaged by the digital distraction. A child who has grown up hearing a lot of criticism will find it even harder to believe positive words when they come his way.
He can ask unlimited questions without the fear of sounding silly and it is okay to make mistakes and learn from them. After watching as a family this week some reality TV in the form of The Apprentice and witnessing some sensationalist cringe-making TV in the form of a group of bright young things unable to do basic  measurements and percentages, he appreciates and values the input he is having so that he has the essential life skills to cope with numbers! Clearly there is room for tutoring to help fill a specific gap where a child has missed out on some essential skills which are necessary pre-skills for the next level and which are difficult to address in the classroom.This is very different from the tutoring that is done to coach children for 11 plus and other exams. And when tutoring is done so routinely that the majority of children in a year are receiving tutoring that is a very anxious environment in which to be (not) learning. Fathers have a very special role to play with newborns and are just as capable of caring from them as mums. The high pressure, high stakes culture that permeates schools and children’s lives, and so worries educationalists, often is as a result of anxious and pushy parents, the tiger mums and turbo charged Dads with very, very high expectations for their children.
If you are constantly checking your messages, outside of work, is this more important than being with your family at this time?
Some educational environments described as overly pressurised may just be the wrong environment for that child.
The child may not have developed the skills or the best work habits and having been placed in an environment not best suited to their learning style and profile. Reframe these assumptions by thinking about how important, challenging and rewarding your role as a parent is. Nurturing a small human being is a critically important job that goes way beyond the physical aspects of her care.
It’s a real challenge for us as parents but we must strive to achieve some kind of balance between equipping our children with skills for adult life and allowing them to have a happy, unstressed childhood without the years of tutoring.



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