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Social Media Strategist and writer ?? Helping small businesses with social media, and content. If a police officer pulls us over and says we were driving too fast, they're pretty matter-of-fact. No blame, no emotion, just a clear statement of what was done to get the fine.The police see all sorts of bad behaviour - the worst of society - but they take it in their stride.
They give their version of the SuperNanny line "That behaviour is not acceptable", they deliver the consequences, and that's that. The person who's pulled over for speeding and gets more and more angry and offensive and ends up collecting more than a speeding ticket.
Maybe you've tried all sorts of strategies but nothing seems to work.You child is just plain exasperating, and you're at your wits end.
Because if your child appears to be going out of their way to annoy you, they're trying to tell you something. They feel undeserving of love, so they go out of their way to make sure they don't receive any.
In many ways, it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you start doing things differently. Instead of thinking about how crazy they drive you, and how mad you are, think, "How can I turn this around?
You need to rebuild the loving relationship so that they value that above all else, and won't risk losing your love.
As contrary as it may seem, kids who go out of their way to elicit anger from their parents are usually in turmoil. You may not be the cause of it, but you can be instrumental in changing it.When they say mean things, you can hug them.

If you've got a 'difficult' child in your home, try addressing their pain, rather than their behaviour. Children don’t usually tell us how they are feeling in a direct way especially about their worries. Child sexual abusers have told us repeatedly that the biggest deterrent to child sexual abuse is a parent who listens—very carefully.
After having confirmed that you are pregnant through the pregnancy test in the bathroom, you go out screaming and telling your husband about it while he is watching his favorite sports show on TV. Sometimes they're honest mistakes, where we don't know any better - like when we're in a new job. If the driver tries to get out of it by telling a fib, the officer can usually tell - or at least suspect. If you think of parenting as 'just doing your job' it can help you remain objective, and less emotional when dealing with 'misdemeanours'.
I mean, you can emulate their calm demeanour and be as firm as they are, but you can't issue a fine. Instead, they say things out of context, give clues, and as they get older, test the waters to see how a topic might be received. By steady and open inquiry, the mother would have learned that the new Scout leader was sexually abusing her son.
For more examples and sample language for talking with children, see Off Limits: A Parent’s Guide to Keeping Kids Safe from Sexual Abuse.
Try pretending as if you miss the romance you would normally have while you were not still married. That way you are more comfortable and loose to celebrate after you tell him the big surprise.

Leaving some clues, first start right on the desk where he usually place his keys, and that clue will lead him to the next clue, until he’s beginning to enjoy it. This means we have to listen extra carefully and inquire, even when the day is moving fast. Instead of your usual beef steak and broccoli, prepare a dinner that is more for newborn babies.
Because this is not just good news but an excellent surprise, it is better to make him jump for you, drop his jaw and become speechless. Yet, you can spill the twist once you are in the restaurant, when he will find out that you made it more special by ordering expensive foods and a classic bottle of champagne.
Besides, you want him, and yourself too, to add to your greatest memories this moment of telling your first baby. Don’t worry, as he won’t be disappointed for sure, because there is no better feeling than to be a proud parent.
The words “9 months” are certainly the key that he’ll find out what you are trying to tell him. Your husband deserves to know, but not in a traditional way, so try to be creative like what is suggested above.

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