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20.09.2014
Slow to adapt, persistent, and intense children may have a harder time with CIO and cry too intensely, because cry it out can be such an abrupt change from what they’re used to.
With consistent babies, it may be easier to time up bedtime and nap times, giving you more confidence that your baby is ready for sleep at bedtime and at nap time. High-energy babies may need longer wind-down times before sleep, and may also have more energy to cry longer, which will obviously make cry it out tough.
Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. Our Members Area is packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more.
For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep.
Join over 300,000 parents around the world & sign up today to receive the guide and our Baby Sleep Newsletter absolutely FREE! I know I am speaking mom blasphemy here, but I really felt like the gentler methods were about making ME feel better (i.e. When we finally switched to CIO, and DIDN’T go back in until he fell asleep on his own, he figured it out pretty quickly (days, not weeks). In my opinion, the reason that every other gentle method failed was because they inherently send inconsistent messages to the baby. Sleep training never worked for night weaning for our son (despite several efforts), but he always went right back to sleep and did give up the night waking naturally on his own.
Any advice on doing cry it out either when you are room sharing or when your baby is sharing a room with an older sibling? As for CIO – totally your call ?? That can definitely be effective, but YOU have to be ready for that, and committed to it. Ali: My daughter was sleeping through the night by the time she was 3 months old, and she slept great from 3-4 months. From then on, she was waking up at least 2, 3, or 4 times a night, and would remain awake for an hour and a half to two hours at a time! At first, I questioned the things I read on the site, and whether or not they actually worked.
Finally, when my daughter was 9 months old, I sent a general email inquiring about which services would be best for our family. Ali: I got my Personalized Sleep Plan™ from Nicole very quickly – and it was awesome! The Baby Sleep Site: And once you started implementing the sleep plan at home, what happened? Ali: Two or three weeks into using the plan, she was starting to sleep much more consistently. Ali: We are so blessed and happy we came across this site, and that we went with this service! For some parents, sleep training is simply letting the baby fuss a few minutes and then voila: she sleep 10-12 hours a night! For some of you, it will be obvious when you are done because you (AND your baby) will be well-rested.
As a general rule, if your baby fusses or cries lightly for 5-10 minutes, drifts off to sleep, and doesn’t make a peep for 10-12 hours (or if they wake for feedings and fall right back to sleep without a fuss), you most likely just have a baby who unwinds a little before sleep.
If your baby cries hard for about 10 minutes, then settles down, it’s still possible you are at a stopping point. If your child is crying hard for more than 10 or 15 minutes and you have been sleep training for more than a week, most likely you have a lingering problem. Now remember, there are many times you might have setbacks, and while these might feel like sleep training failures, they aren’t. Or, join our Members Area packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more.
Planning for sleep training is important (that’s why we offer two different kinds of sleep plans, after all!), and deciding when and how to start sleep training is a key part of creating a solid sleep training plan. If you are a stay-at-home parent, the day of the week may be less important, as you may have a more flexible schedule that’ll allow you to sleep in and nap, in order to make up for lost sleep.
Remember, regardless of the day of the week during which you start sleep training, make sure to begin during a time in which you will be home for at least a few weeks, and during which everything will be as normal as possible, schedule-wise.
The content below was partially reblogged from Aurora’s personal blog, Dispatches from the Castle. I called my parents after putting her down and my dad said, “Best $49 you’ve ever spent.” It was as true that night as it was last night! Once my daughter was feeling better, we started re-implementing the Express Sleep Plan with the ultimate goal of her waking up and needing comfort one or zero times a night. We were making very good progress, until a few days later when she realized she could throw all of the blankets and all of the pacifiers out of her crib when she was mad! Since then, my daughter has averaged waking up just once a night, even though she’s had a terrible head and chest cold. We know sleep will always be a work in progress with my daughter, and we will always have to monitor her sleep and schedule, but knowing we have a plan that works makes us confident. Pick up your Express Sleep Plan™ today, and get started on sleep coaching as early as tonight! Does the term “sleep training” conjure up images of wailing babies and agonized parents?
That means that if you want to use extremely gentle, low-cry or no-cry sleep training methods, you absolutely can sleep train your baby with minimal tears. Now, I should include a caveat here: no-cry sleep training may not be possible for every family. With no-cry sleep training, parents often stay in the room at the start of a sleep time (like bedtime or nap time), and for awhile after any night wakings.
No-cry sleep training depends heavily on simple, gentle interventions like the ones listed above. With substitution, you substitute in a different sleep association for your child’s preferred sleep association.
No matter how you choose to approach your no-cry sleep training, rest assured that you CAN do it – you CAN teach your child a healthier way to sleep with minimal tears and fussing. You want to be the best parent possible, while making the most of your child’s formative years. Except right now you feel like you’re living in a fog and trying to walk through quicksand-uphill. That’s where Baby Sleep 101 can help; eliminating the guesswork and helping you to get your child to sleep easily and quickly. This one hour call prepares you for what to expect for the first 3 months of your child’s life.
Getting your toddler or preschooler to sleep well is totally and completely possible with my help! Suki: I let Shaye know right away, and she reassured me that we would work on a plan to deal with the night wakings.
Now, Ethan wakes WAY less at night, and his naps have lengthened to the point that each one is over an hour long! This week, we’re introducing you to Yeyin, a beautiful mom of a beautiful daughter who was exhausted beyond measure when she came to us for help. The Baby Sleep Site: Yeyin, tell us a little bit about your situation before you contacted us for help.
Well, fast-forward 4 weeks later, our 9-week old baby girl suddenly declared she was no longer a sleep-through-the-night baby, and it felt like it happened overnight.
The Baby Sleep Site: Oh, yes, that sounds familiar – so many families tell us a similar story! My husband and I never saw each other, and the only way we communicated each other was through texting. We were assigned to Nicole who graciously and kindly wrote to us that very evening and gave me some quick advice: Try to change her schedule THAT night. Yeyin: Within a day or two, our Personalized Sleep Plan™ arrived, and it was so thorough and warm. Sometimes (a lot of times), I would vent and write to Nicole in the middle of the night worried and wondering about why Haera was so inconsistent, strong-willed, etc., and Nicole would reply back every day and say she was sorry to hear we were having a bad day, BUT to keep on going and to hang in there!
In all of the countless emails Nicole and I have exchanged, the most significant and poignant lesson I’ve learned was that I WAS NOT ALONE.
Although I’m not in correspondence with Nicole right now, I still have email packages that I have bought to use for future use, so my time with Nicole and the Baby Sleep Site is far from over. Remember, you can have your own sleep coaching success story, just like Nadia’s – all you have to do is take that first step, and contact us for personalized sleep help today! My 3month old needs to be rocked to sleep and wakes almost immediately when I put her down in her cot. SUPER-SHORT SUMMARY: A wide-awake little owl swoops through this beautifully-illustrated book and watches all the other animals settle down (and snuggle down) for sleep. SUPER-SHORT SUMMARY: Little Willa is scared to go to sleep – good thing her big brother Willoughby is there to tell her something happy before she goes to sleep! SUPER-SHORT SUMMARY: Mama animals gently put their babies to sleep in this fantastic book, complete with gorgeous, lush illustrations.
SUPER-SHORT SUMMARY: This little book presents great, basic information about why living things need sleep, and takes a look at how animals sleep, how people sleep, how sleep affects our brains, and more.
SUPER-SHORT SUMMARY: Watch a toddler go through his bedtime routine with his family, from brushing teeth to taking a bath to lullabies and snuggles. SUPER-SHORT SUMMARY: As she prepares to drift off to sleep, a sweet little girl wonders aloud to her mother what it would be like if animals kissed goodnight at bedtime.
This is by no means an exhaustive list – we want to hear about your favorite bedtime books! Make sure your spouse or partner is on board (that’s key to cry it out success, as you both have to respond to your baby in the same way in order for sleep training to work). A plan is critical to any kind of sleep training success, but it is especially key to cry it out success. You should always use gentle methods to help your baby learn to sleep well during the newborn stage, and even at 4 months – 6 months, you will likely want to go for gentler approaches. Stick to your sleep coaching plan for at least a week or two before you make changes – and be sure that while you are using cry it out sleep coaching, you are as consistent as possible in how you respond to your baby. See, parents who resort to cry it out because they’re practically cross-eyed with exhaustion tend to do it without a plan, and then ultimately end up sending mixed messages and being inconsistent (see the previous point).
This just ends up being too much crying for your baby AND for you, and that can make it nearly impossible to follow through.
The truth is, certain temperaments respond much better to cry it out than others, so knowing ahead of time how your baby’s personality will mesh with cry it out is important. It simply means that you will need to proceed with caution, and to have appropriate expectations. Our team of expert consultants is ready to offer you compassionate, caring support that is 100% personalized to your unique situation. You can even buy a bundle package that includes the e-book AND a Personalized Sleep Plan™ PLUS a follow-up email to use for further support!
Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.
With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.


It may be necessarily to temporarily move your younger one out of the room, or to have your older one bunk with you for a period of time. He will fall asleep after a little crying but will wake up every time after about 30 min crying again. We usually recommend that parents offer comfort in the ways you suggested (nursing, rocking, holding, etc.), but just stop short of putting her to sleep in those ways. Right around 4.5 months, however, she started waking up in the middle of the night again, and so I nursed her back to sleep.
So how did you come across The Baby Sleep Site, and at what point did you decide to get personalized help? I had already read MANY different books and theories about how to help my baby sleep better, so I decided to look into the site. I was also skeptical about paying money to have someone help me after I felt like I had already tried everything on my own.
She now takes one nap in the afternoon, and usually sleeps 11 hours, straight through the night. Doing the sleep training is a lot of work, but it’s so worth it once you start seeing results! Unfortunately, without knowing the specific details, it’s difficult to know which one it is. Did you start sleep training during a good sleep training window, or did you start at a less-than-ideal time?
Could sleep training be failing because your schedule has been a little too hectic to allow the kind of consistency you need to see results? What you may need at this point is an expert to help you through the sleep training process. However, it can be a good idea to choose a time during which your partner or spouse will be home.
We also recommend trying to line up some additional help, so that you don’t become overly exhausted during the sleep training process.
Avoid starting sleep training right before a vacation or a major life change (like moving to a new house or the birth of a new baby).
She’s a lovely mama and blogger who shares her thoughts over at Dispatches From The Castle. I spent what time I could between working, caring for A and not sleeping reading the books. Baby A was sleeping on the floor in the office with me and while she wasn’t eating all night like she used to, she was getting up at least four times a night. The questionnaire we filled out asked questions specific to A and allowed us to include her school schedule (bottles, food, naps) and her nursing schedule for consideration.
She went to bed as usual, but now that I had a definition of awake but drowsy (thanks to the Express Sleep Plan), I put her in her crib earlier than I typically would and started implementing our specific sleep phrase. I’m sure it made her feel temporarily in control, but once she realized all of her comfort items were now out of her reach, she became even more upset.
I would still go in if she cried for more than 10 minutes (or threw all of the blankets out). By spending just $49 (less than the cost of dinner out, as Aurora put it!), Aurora got a custom sleep coaching plan immediately — and most importantly, it worked.
Sleep training is merely the practice of helping your baby or toddler learn healthier sleep habits.
And that’s good news for those of you who cannot stand the thought of extended crying! While some babies and toddler with easygoing temperament may truly be able to get through the sleep training process without shedding a single tear, children who are intense and resistant to change will likely put up at least a little fuss when you try to change bedtime and nap time.
This allows mom or dad to provide plenty of comfort and support as baby works to fall back to sleep; it also helps to minimize or eliminate crying. When our consultants work with families, via our personalized sleep consulting program, they almost always recommend a few pre-sleep training steps.
If you’re going to try a no-cry sleep training approach, then you will definitely want to put in plenty of prep-work before you jump in to sleep training.
You could spend several weeks just following the steps above, and you may very well see noticeable progress in your child’s sleep! There are two that are pretty popular and tend to work well for families who want to minimize crying as much as possible. Then, when your baby is calm (and this is key), you put your baby back in bed drowsy but awake, so that she can practice falling asleep without your help. For example, if you typically rock your child to sleep, you would fade out the rocking gradually, rocking a bit less each night until you are simply holding your child in your arms, with no movement. For the next few weeks, we are taking a look at three families and their amazing sleep stories. We had to go back to co-sleeping, for one thing; it was the only way I could get Ethan to sleep. And to make matters worse, Ethan wouldn’t take a pacifier or a bottle, and he hated being swaddled, so we really were limited in how we could comfort him.
That alone brought me so much comfort; I knew Shaye would be there to help me through this setback, just like she’d helped me through the others!
Ethan still put up a bit of a fuss at bedtime, and my next task is going to be to work on getting shortening the time between when we put him down for bed, and when he actually falls asleep.
Shaye and Nicole have been a Godsend to me and my family, and now, I am really enjoying every moment as a mom! She began to wake up every 30 minutes to an hour, and her 4-5 hour stretches turned into 2 hours.
She gave us instructions on how to approach our first night of cry-it-out sleep training, and I couldn’t do it.
The crying before bedtime improved, but the crying following the first night waking (after 30 minutes to an hour of sleep) was particularly blood curdling. It was the best value for us because I knew we needed extra time to work on Haera’s sleep, and the “unlimited” emails and responsiveness was something I felt would fit our family’s needs the best. The name of the publication service is justifiably and well named because it was indeed a sleep plan PERSONALIZED to our philosophies and to Haera’s needs.
Today, Haera’s sleep is far from perfect, but the one of the most important lessons I’ve learned from Nicole is that THAT IS OKAY. Thanks to ongoing support from Nicole, and her caring, compassionate advice, Yeyin’s whole family will be sleeping easier this holiday season.
One quick solution would be to get a white noise machine, or to download a white noise app on your phone, and then to play that when she is sleeping.
We hold her up for 30-45 minutes after each feed and because of the cleft and how much work it is to sick she frequently falls asleep from eating. Sure, most of us probably spend at least a few minutes reading to our little cherubs before tucking them in at night, but have you ever stopped and thought about how you can turn the bedtime story to your (sleep training) advantage?
Reading is hands-down the best way to establish early literacy, and it makes for pretty fantastic parent-child bonding time, too. As your child watches how all the animals sleep in their own special way, it can provide big reassurance that bedtime really is for sleeping. If you have a little one who loves heavy machinery in your home, this book is sure to be a hit. The soft, lilting rhymes of this book will lull even the youngest babies to sleep, and the message that everything around the world is going to bed can go a long way to helping your baby or toddler settle down and fall asleep without a fuss. A client actually recommended this one to us awhile back, and said it was a lifesaver in her home! This book provides a fantastic way to help you motivate your bedtime-fighter to fall asleep quickly and to STAY in bed all night long: every night that she stays in bed and sleeps, the Good Night Fairy will leave a small gift on her bed.
Join Mother Goose as she invites all your favorite nursery characters to a special slumber party. It’s time for Chester to sleep, but the sun is making strange and scary shadows on the walls. In this adorable addition to the Kissing Hand series, Chester learns that a kissing hand from mama can soothe even the most serious of bedtime fears. Dinnertime, cleanup-time, and bedtime are all met with one word — “NEVERMORE!” From drawing on his bedroom walls with crayons to chasing his sister with a scarecrow, this mischievous and disobedient little bird would much rather do anything than behave.
If you opt to purchase one of these books, The Baby Sleep Site® may receive a small commission from your purchase.
Our team is 100% committed to using this kind of holistic approach to sleep, which is why we NEVER jump straight to cry it out sleep training.
If your spouse isn’t supportive, make sure you have a friend or other family member you can turn to to vent. Because doubt about whether or not your baby is crying out of hunger, or crying because he wants help falling asleep, will eat away at even the best of plans. Whether you want to start with gentle methods, or whether you want personalized recommendations about how to proceed with cry it out, we will work with you, and use approaches that mesh with your goals, your parenting philosophy, and your child’s personality and temperament.
There is no problem with checking in and offering comfort at bedtime; that reassurance can go a long way.
But through many e-mails back and forth with Nicole, we continued to tweak the plan so that it suited my daughter. Every once in awhile, if she is sick or teething, she’ll wake up, but it’s okay, because she’s able to fall back to sleep on her own.
They might take 2-3 weeks using a no-cry sleep training method and then have a baby who pleasantly sleeps 10-12 hours per night.
But what if you’re weeks into sleep coaching and your baby is still crying every night?
The good news, however, is that you can usually solve these problems by shifting your toddler’s bedtime.
Until she was about six months old, she slept well for her age and only got up when she was hungry.
All of them emphasized a going to bed routine and a strict daily schedule that was geared toward women who were home with their babies during the day (Thanks for the extra guilt sleep experts!).
But I was conscious enough to notice that as she stirred, she would start to spin around while still asleep and then sit up, still mostly asleep.
Only after seeing our specific plan, did I realize implementing this plan would make things go smoother at school for her and her teachers!
You can have sleep coaching success, too; you can finally solve your child’s nighttime or nap time waking problems, and regain your sleep AND your sanity!
That said, even if you can’t achieve true no-cry sleep training, you can certainly aim for very low-cry sleep training. Specifically, try the following simple techniques and strategies before you plan to start sleep training. Fading is a very gentle and no-cry approach to weaning your child off his sleep associations. We tried to do everything we could to keep Ethan from forming bad sleep habits that would interfere with his sleep – we tried to put him down drowsy but awake, and to comfort him by patting and rubbing him when he woke up, without picking him up out of his crib, but nothing worked.
AND, his nursing was out of whack – he would eat little meals during the day, and then nurse a whole lot at night. We managed to move Ethan back into a crib, and we started making progress with his night waking and his daytime schedule (he’d always been really inconsistent in his morning wake time and naps, but Shaye gave us some great tips to work on that). Steve has been the most supportive husband and father, but there was only so much that he could do to help. I just didn’t understand why our little one was crying so much after having gone to bed somewhat peacefully.
She needed a bit more time to author our Personalized Sleep Plan™, but skimming through our initial history intake form, she suspected that Haera was treating bedtime as a fourth nap and then waking up crying for such a long period of time because she was actually AWAKE. We made a lot of progress in the beginning with changing Haera’s schedule, and then there was the “tweaking” we needed to do based on Haera’s temperament.


So to say that she’d had experience with our consultation process would be a bit of an understatement!
It was weird, because up until he was about 6 weeks old, he napped 2-3 hours at a time for his naps.
Nicole went as ‘fast’ or ‘slow’ as I wanted through the whole process.  She also supported me through the transition from nanny, to a large daycare center, to an inhome daycare center, through a move to a new house, and finally, through a transition to an inhome daycare center #2.
Thanks to unlimited support from our team of consultants, Nadia and her family are looking forward to a peaceful, rested holiday season. And if your toddler has a unique bedtime arrangement (maybe he has to sleep with three or four of the same special stuffed friends each night?), then he can take pride in knowing that just like the animals, he has his own special way of sleeping. As your child watches the beloved trucks and diggers go peacefully to bed, odds are bedtime will start to seem more appealing to your little guy or little girl, too! It presents the basics about why sleep is important in a straightforward, easy-to-understand way. But the main thing here is that it will strongly reinforce your sleep training work if your child sees animal friends peacefully kissing goodnight; it provides a model for what you want your child to do at bedtime, too.
Our little sleep-fighter learns that if he can stay in bed all night long, the Good Night Fairy will leave a little gift at the foot of the bed.
This is an ideal sleep coaching tool for toddlers who have recently transitioned to sleeping alone in a big-kid bed. Chester’s mama offers him a bedtime kissing hand, and Chester is finally able to feel reassured and fall asleep.
But as the evening winds to a close, Edgar’s mom knows just what to do to get her son into bed. And, of course, you can always turn to our team of expert consultants for compassionate support and a sympathetic ear, as well as expert advice in how to make sure cry it out goes as smoothly (and as quickly) as possible. 4 month sleep regression I believe) where she will not fall asleep on her own at bedtime… But, this is the only time.
In general, though, if you’re opting for CIO, you will likely need to move one kiddo out of the room temporarily. I’ve let him CIO again to go back to sleep but if he does go back to sleep it is only for 15 more minutes. And I’m happy to say that, after the first week, she was only waking once or twice a night, and falling back to sleep VERY easily – within ten minutes! She would still occasionally wake up between 4 or 5 a.m., but honestly, she progressed by leaps and bounds during the time, thanks to Nicole’s help!
Our team of expert consultants is standing by, ready to craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ just for you!
Or, they might use cry it out and in 2-3 nights, everyone in the family is sleeping through the night. In general, if your toddler was going to bed fine and all of a sudden started fighting the routine, you might consider she needs longer wake-time before bedtime, and you may need to bump bedtime back accordingly. She was going to bed well and even when she did fight it, she went to sleep in less than 30 minutes from the time we started bedtime. Given her other issues, very quickly this became a non-negotiable, not-going-to-work for us option. Because sometimes, doing small things like adjusting bedtime or adding in one or two additional feedings can go a long way towards solving sleep challenges, which means less sleep training work for you and your child in the long-run.
That is, they were feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, until they found The Baby Sleep Site®.
After a brief attempt at CIO, which failed completely (Ethan AND Suki were crying!), Suki and her husband decided to contact The Baby Sleep Site®.
He co-slept with me for the first 2 months, and he fed on demand (I breastfeed) pretty much around the clock. My Ethan is a persistent little guy and not adaptable AT ALL, so when he woke up, he just got angrier and angrier if we tried to pat him. His pediatrician suggested that I space out his daytime feedings to allow for 3 hours between each feeding, but that backfired – it meant that he ended up nursing even more at night! I lean more towards attachment parenting, in many ways, and I knew that we needed a gentler approach that would involve less crying, but I didn’t know how to get there on my end. I have already referred 4 of my friends to The Baby Sleep Site®, and all of them are now getting enough sleep that we can get together and have some mama dates! Remember, you can have your own sleep coaching success story, just like Suki’s – all you have to do is take that first step, and contact us for personalized sleep help today! At first, we thought it was a phase, but her sleep wasn’t getting any better; it was only getting worse.
I still had so many questions and doubts, but I didn’t want to go back to our original sleep consultant.
It turned out we were holding her for her naps for TOO long during the day, which interfered with how much she could sleep at night.
Remember, you can have your own sleep coaching success story, just like Yeyin’s – all you have to do is take that first step, and contact us for personalized sleep help today! Then, all of a sudden, he would be up, on the dot, at the 30 minute mark. You could set your clock to it! Eventually, bedtime became a breeze – Isaac would fall asleep on his own and sleep peacefully until it was his time to nurse.
And that doesn’t even count all the help she gave me in dealing with illness and teething! Had it not been for her never-ending support and words of encouragement, I would have lost it by now. No joke. And while most families won’t need months of unlimited support, how nice it is to know that if that’s the kind of help YOU need, we offer it! Through this story and it’s gorgeous illustrations, your toddler will learn that it’s okay to have a feisty spirit, but that bedtime can be an exciting and imaginative time, too! As for babies, they’re sure to love the snuggly bunny characters in this sweet little book. This book will definitely help convince your little bedtime skeptic that sleep matters, and that can help make sleep coaching even easier on both of you! And babies can get a lot out of this book, too – after all, it’s never too late to start modeling good bedtime behavior, and establishing a strong bedtime routine! And it helps reinforce the idea that everyone has to go to sleep – even the baby animals! It will help you lay a foundation for literary appreciation while also guiding your child towards greater cooperation at bedtime…who doesn’t love that?
It is not every night, but happens and I’m worried it will be tough for her without greater consistency in what I’m doing? Get your sleep plan today, and start your journey from exhausted skeptic to well-rested believer! Knowing when sleep training is finished depends so much on your expectations and what your initial goals in sleep training were. If she recently transitioned to fewer naps, the opposite may be true: she may be overtired at bedtime, which would mean you need to go with an earlier bedtime for awhile. Before we really knew what happened I was sleeping with her on the nursery floor and up with her every hour. Plus, she’s at school which means she’s on a schedule and since she wasn’t sleeping, it seemed counter intuitive to continue to add to her sleep debt and overtired state. I was nervous and concerned that it would be like all the other recommendations and either impossible to implement or would force us to start weaning her (which we can’t do for health reasons at this point). Using substitution, you would substitute in a different method to put your child to sleep – like, say, rocking to sleep. But then, when he was 2 months old, we were able to successfully transition him into a crib. Same with drowsy but awake – as soon as we’d lay him down, he’d wake up and then get mad if we didn’t pick him up.
And my friends and family weren’t much help – they kept telling me that I just had to accept the fact that Ethan was a bad sleeper, and wait for him to outgrow his sleeping habits.
The routine always started with a really long rocking and ssshing session that progressed to a careful transition into the rocking recliner. I was beyond stressed, and at the time, I thought I was doing what any mom or dad would do. She explained what sort of temperament she suspected Haera had and based our sleep coaching approach to Haera’s individuals’ needs. I can’t imagine how incredibly busy Nicole is juggling her responsibilities to The Baby Sleep Site, her clients, and her family! She truly was there for me through it all – every day, I would email and every day, she would email me back. All told, I purchased months worth of unlimited email packages, and it was all worth it!
You may need to take a hard look at her schedule, to ensure that she is getting enough nap sleep and that the timing of naps and bedtime are correct. At that time I take her into my bed where she’ll sleep for another hr before waking to eat and then sleep with me again for another 1-2 hours. You’d want to work to the point where she can go from drowsy to asleep on her own, without your help.
Use our age-based sample schedules, or our free schedule maker, as a model for what a good schedule should look like, and then spend a week or two working towards that. That might seem odd – after all, isn’t this just teaching your child another sleep association? And a few times, Ethan had longer stretches of sleep (about 4-5 hours) at night, after he moved to his crib. The second night, she cried for an hour, and every night after that she cried, and cried, and cried.
So, although her sleep isn’t a model example of what an ideal sleeping baby should look like, Haera has made stark improvements from where she was to where is today. I also pump every 3 hours as breastmilk is the sole recommendation to ward infection presurgery.
Once she finally gets to sleep (sometimes not for two hours after bedtime routine) she will sleep the rest of the night. But I knew I didn’t want to just “wait” for Ethan to become a better sleeper, so I reached out to The Baby Sleep Site® for help. I put her suggestions and schedule into practice, and sure enough, Ethan’s sleep began improving! Needless to say, my dedication to Haera’s sleep turned me into a very unhappy, frustrated person. If she does wake up during the night it is only once and she has no problem going right back to sleep…Even after fully waking up with a diaper change and being awake enough to talk to her crib for a few minutes before actually going back to sleep. Once your child is falling asleep with a less-preferred sleep association (in our example, rocking), it will likely be faster and easier to gradually wean your child away from this new sleep association than it would have been to wean him away from the more preferred sleep association (in our example, nursing). I had my husband’s support in doing so, but that was it – no one else understood my desire to sleep train. We have been having some teething pain during this past month… Maybe she is just extra sensitive to the pain during that time of night??
It’s not quite the five plus hours at a time I used to get, but after 15 months of little sleep, it’s pretty amazing. I’m starting to think CIO might be the only thing that will keep her from being less confused at bedtime.
For nighttime, I went to bed with Haera between 5:30-6PM and had her nursing ALL night long in the most uncomfortable positions. I don’t come back in at naps if she talks, but at bedtime it is crying, not talking, so I go in to comfort her.



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