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Every new parent hears the stories: The tales of previously sweet-natured toddlers who suddenly turn into tantrum-crazed, "no"-spewing, toy-throwing two year olds. Your toddler seems to be absolutely compelled to utter (or shout) this word at every opportunity. Picky eating is one way your toddler can assert their independence leaving you wondering how to hurdle yet another challenge! There's a reason we talk about the "terrible twos." But don't despair -- this too shall pass. Two-year-old children aren't exactly nuanced creatures; they explore the world in extremes.
Your toddler needs to learn to respect limits, control her impulses and value the feelings of others.

Continue working on sharing, but also prevent conflicts by having two of the same toy or putting away special toys when friends come over. Study after study has shown that kids respond to positive reinforcement -- so when she's acting like an angel, be sure to let her know it!
All of those extreme personality changes actually serve a very important purpose for your child. They often feel conflicted and confused, and so they try to assert their independence in the most obvious way possible: By declaring "NO!" at every opportunity.
Demanding the same food for lunch every day, freaking out if the stuffed animals aren't tucked in the exact same order every night, refusing to get dressed unless the shirt goes on before the pants -- these are all ways two year olds try to impose order on their unruly world and bolster their fragile sense of control.
A two year old is still figuring out the idea of ownership -- in her mind, she simply owns everything she sees.

It's not necessarily about defying you, it's about learning how to make choices, test limits and thinking independently -- as frustrating as that may be for you as a parent. She isn't trying to be selfish or aggressive; she is still learning about autonomy, boundaries and personal power.

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