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Whenever a friend or family welcomes a new baby- somewhere along the way my husband and I get asked- ‘HOW did you do it with two?’ The ‘toughness’ with twins almost always is associated with the infant and toddler years (and perhaps the teen years) but no one really tells you about those ‘in between’ years known as tweens! The best decision as parents of identical twins that we made ahead of their tween years was separating their classrooms in kindergarten. Since (as often is the case) one of our twins had stronger verbal skills, we had a spokesperson for the twins!

They’re setting their future study habits, they are challenged socially and culturally and their self-confidence is questioned daily. By separating their classrooms early, each of them learned to communicate and learn on their own- outside of their ‘twinness’ and away from the inevitable comparison by teachers. Twins already have a hard time forging their independence because the world simply wants to see them as a ‘unit.’ As tweens they’re compared constantly- from grades, to the amount of friends they have, to their sports or physical abilities, and more.
Now as we enter the tough years of 4th grade and beyond- we can more easily support their study skills because we clearly know their individual weaknesses and strengths.

As a parent of twins- you have to be more vigilant and dedicated to helping them be individually successful than ever. Your decision and support during these sensitive years will help them conquer their teen years and adulthood.

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