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Even though his daycare did everything right when it was time to transition from one room to another, they still ever-so-slightly mucked with your son’s sacred makes-me-feel-safe routine and oh, SOMEONE MUST PAY. And all the books and websites stress the importance of keeping a very set morning routine leading up to your departure for daycare — which is way easier said than done when your child is basically screaming and tantruming throughout the entire routine. I know it might sound counterintuitive to shorten your one-on-one time in the morning with a separation-anxiety-prone toddler, but it sounds like dragging out his awareness of what’s coming is only making things worse. Ezra, on the other hand, benefits from a short and to-the-point routine, like I suggested for your son. Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty. Sign up for the web’s most entertaining (while informative) weekly newsletter on your pregnancy! My mornings (2.5 year-old and 7 month-old) always go more smoothly if I wake up and get ready first. Yep, I try to get myself completely ready down to packing my lunch before I wake up my 2.5 yr old.
I agree with the other posters that I would definitely consider just getting up and getting ready before you go in and get your son.
Echoing the suggestions to get your own personal morning routine done *before* you wake him up. Not to mention the one person in the house guaranteed to throw a low blood sugar tantrum is me.
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Kids find comfort in rituals, so if your little person is struggling with saying goodbye, try to keep it as consistent as possible so she learns to trust it and know exactly what to expect. So this morning mommy said goodbye and you spent time with friends and teachers — you had a whole day of activities! Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. So even though your son is all smiles and confidence at daycare and joins his class without a second look back at mom or dad…this is still pretty much classic, age-appropriate separation anxiety.
And that someone is always going to be mom and dad, of the unconditional love and more willingness to do whatever it takes to please him. Noah, for example, has NEVER had a problem with separation anxiety, but has a totally crap time making transitions throughout the morning. My goal is to be 100% ready for the kids to wake up – right down to pouring a bottle and a cup of milk for them.
My husband is out of the house by 6am so I’m on my own in the mornings with the kids.
I get up 30 minutes before anyone else and while it was painful at first, it has made a HUGE difference to our mornings.

Then mommy will give you a big hug and a kiss, and I’ll come back later to pick you up. As tempting as it might be to leave while your toddler is distracted, don’t sneak out.
You were with grandma, and it seemed like you really didn’t want mommy to leave, you wanted me to stay, huh?
Every child is wired differently, and some kids’ temperaments naturally make for more emotional goodbyes. My older child does much better if she has 20 minutes of quiet time to drink her milk or play before we start the morning routine. However, on the mornings she wakes up early on her own, she has fortunately reached the age where I can set her up with milk and a cartoon while I finish getting ready.
My son is now 27 months but I started it when he was just a little bit older than your son.
However, rest assured that our affiliate relationships do not guide our product recommendations, at all. For many kids, the year-and-a-half mark is when the distress over leaving mom or dad reaches maximum intensity. Indeed, it makes a lot of evolutionary sense that the clinging, following, and distress cries are firing on all cylinders at this age — this is the stage of development when your baby has the motor skills to get away from you, but still doesn’t have the self-help skills to be okay on her own. If the distress is around a nanny hand-off or daycare drop-off, come up with a quick ritual and let your toddler know clearly what it will be. You’re building trust with your toddler so she feels comfortable with your comings and goings.
It’s tempting to linger, re-hug, or play one more game, but your best bet is to stick to the ritual and leave swiftly, even if there is protest in your wake. In our efforts to be peppy and make our kids feel better about separations, sometimes we miss an opportunity to make emotional contact. If you’re dropping your child off somewhere, see if you can leave the daycare, friend, or family member with a picture of you and your spouse with your child.
It really helps our kids make sense of the world when we talk about social interactions or daily happenings as little stories after an event is over or the day is done. The point is that over time, little kids develop other trusting relationships and internalize the safe feeling of knowing you are there even when you’re not physically there. Do you really need to wake him up at 7 and have him awake during your shower and dressing routine?
Then get him up and dressed and out the door, maybe with a snack cup of Cheerios or waffle in the car. Then I wake Ezra up and basically stay with him step by step from that point on, through getting dressed, eating breakfast and out the door.
When she was younger, it was the opposite, she did better if we got up and got out the door asap. The other good thing about getting yourself completely ready first, is that once he wakes up he gets your undivided attention from then until drop off.

So you have this kid whose routine seems to center around getting you out the door, but he’s getting worked up (separation anxiety) at the same time getting hungry and having to do morning tasks like get ready.
Think of the caveman days, where dangerous elements like poisonous bushes always lurked in toddling range (this is also why your formerly indiscriminate eater may all of a sudden start a picky-eating streak). Your child is now in the hands of a competent and loving caregiver, spouse, friend, or other family member, so it’s important to clearly pass the responsibility. For example, when the babysitter arrives, sit down with him or her and your child to play for a bit. At home, let a caregiver know if your child likes to squeeze a certain stuffed animal or look at pictures if she needs comfort when you’re gone. In the re-hashing, a toddler’s brain is aided just a bit in figuring out how to process and code the confusing aspects of the day. Maybe try doing all that first while he chills in his room and then only get him up when you or your husband can really focus on getting him ready, fed  and out the door? Basically blow through the anxiety-laden morning routine as quickly as possible, like a Band-Aid.
He can stay in bed and read, he can go downstairs and play, he can come cuddle with me and Baby Ike in our bed. Of course, I have the benefit of being able to do all this in my pajamas, with no need to worry about mascara or wet hair until I’ve taken care of everybody else. I think it changes as they make their way through the different stages and Amy’s advice to test both ways out is good. I also try to get up early enough that I have at least 20 min of cushion time for those mornings she dawdles or needs extra TLC. Then, you actually would get to spend a bit more time with him during the day…a bonus for both of you.
In that case, she might dial it up, or stuff it down and pretend all is good — either way is a less-than-optimal outcome.
That way after we change diaper and get dressed, we are ready to go into the kitchen and eat breakfast together.
Your toddler is picking up on your attitude towards the other person, so if you’re confident and calm during the separation, it will help.
After breakfast, he will have brief playtime with 6yr old sibling while I get dressed quickly but keeping his morning routine at home short and sweet I believe is the best way to avoid any meltdowns. And it’s usually pretty clear when waking up needs to be followed by 5 minutes of rocking to get oriented.

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