One of the presuppositions of NLP is that the meaning of a communication is in the way it is received. This presupposition is a simple way of saying that we must take responsibility for how we attempt to communicate a message. Fundamentally, the reason for the conflict and misunderstanding that comes from “miscommunication,” indeed, the reason for miscommunication itself, is typically because empathy is lacking in both the transmitter and the receiver of the message.
When we communicate without empathy, we are transmitting without any regard or consideration to the needs of our intended receiver.
I’ve just said that lack of empathy on both sides of a communication is the reason why misunderstandings and the resulting conflicts happen. Furthermore, if the sender places his own need to validate himself, or to “be direct,” or “tell it like it is,” over the way a message is received or how it is interpreted, there can be no empathy conveyed, and the message will more than likely generate a violent (not in the physical sense… hopefully) reaction.
It is also necessary that the sender understand “why” he wants to send the message in the first place.
By replacing “but” with “and,” you imply that both conditions can be met; you just don’t know how…. Even if they cannot do what we are asking, they will most likely work with us to find another way to meet our needs. You hopefully noticed that empathy is the key ingredient of successful communications, and that empathy must be present from the very beginning, in the message being communicated. A message delivered with empathy will show concern for the needs of the recipients as well as the senders. When you communicate well with your team, it helps eliminate misunderstandings and can encourage a healthy and peaceful work environment.
The moment you get the lines of communication open with your team, the process of carrying out tasks and projects will most likely go by smoothly. Experts have been able to prove that some people understand better when you take them aside and talk to them on a one-on-one basis.
Your training should be tailored towards communicating certain information to your team members.
Ensure that you display confidence and seriousness to ensure that you will not be taken for granted. If you want your team members to take you serious, never sound like a broken record and don’t beat a dead horse. Using friendly jokes when communicating with your team members will help pass your message along in a more relaxed way. Communication is indeed a skill that must be learned by all, especially if you want to lead any group of people. After every communication session, via whatever means you have decided, always remember to thank your listeners for their time.
You must work hard at these communication tactics and create ground rules to keep everyone up to date, which helps avoid confusion and ensure the completion of the project with ease.


Valentine Belonwu is from Nigeria and is the Founder of Business Gross, a site designed to help individuals understand that the economic and political climate is crucial when mapping out a quality financial strategy in their lives. Also, team building activities and out-of-work activities can foster bonding and camaraderie among the team. Effective communication in the workplace can increase work productivity and output which leads to the success of the business. I agree a team that is working together to get the same objective is always better numerous minds are always better than one, different prospectives always help to get the outcome more efficiently. I posted a guest post from Dianne Lowther of Brilliant Minds on this presupposition back in June of this year, but think it is worth visiting again. When we wish to convey a particular message and it is misinterpreted, we often blame the recipient for misunderstanding. Often times people will try and justify this lack of empathy by saying they prefer to “tell it like it is,” or to “be direct.” The true motive behind this desire to “be direct” is to force our message on somebody else, with little regard to how they may interpret or receive it. That being the case, you may be wondering why it is that the sender has the responsibility for ensuring his or her message is accurately received. The sender starts the cycle, and understands (hopefully) the meaning of the message being conveyed. The sender is the only person who can know the meaning of any communication before it is sent. It is best to be honest about your needs while you can also be empathic and sensitive to your recipient’s needs as well. A simple yet powerful way to make your language more positive is by replacing any “but” statements with “and” statements.
Given this, it should also be obvious that the sender is the only person that can be responsible for the way his or her message is received. Efficient communication with your team will also let you get work done quickly and professionally. In this kind of forum, they will not only hear what you are saying, they will also see and feel it. It will enable you to pass messages to members of your team without pulling them out of their work stations. Using presentations like Microsoft Power Point to communicate with your team will give them the opportunity to refer back to it if they aren’t clear about certain things.
When your team members notice any uncertainty and lack of seriousness when you’re communicating with them, they are likely to treat the information with disdain or disregard.
Therefore, to be effective in your communications with your team members, use words that can be easily understood. Make sure you use the appropriate tone of voice to communicate your message to your team so that you won’t be misunderstood and discourage or demotivate members or cause them to shut down completely out of fear.
Tell your team members what you want them to know or do and ask them if they are clear about it.


Avoid a tense environment at all costs because when you communicate in an overly intense manner, the message you are trying to share might not be well understood or retained. This method of communication has been proven to be a highly effective way of dousing tension. Being articulate  when you communicate to your team members makes it easier for them to understand your message.
When communicating with them, try as much as possible to speak clearly and not mumble words.
Give room for feedback so that you can measure the effectiveness of your style of communication. Make hand motions and signals to establish the seriousness of your subject matter when communicating with your team members.
This way, team members would be more willing to contribute and reach the team’s goals. Communication is key to all successful projects and a lack of adequate communication can prove to be the downfall of many what would otherwise be successful. It is simply not possibly to engage in active listening – to give somebody your total attention, and show genuine interest in what the other is trying to say, without empathy. If the sender does not know what meaning she wants to convey, then how can the receiver possibly understand it?
What avoiding vague language means is to speak plainly, but with empathy, and in a way your receiver can understand and accept. By doing this you will find it much easier to convey empathy, and frame your message in a nonviolent manner.
However, when we request something from somebody else with empathy, we usually generate a genuine desire within them to help. And the sender will clarify understanding, and if necessary, change the way the message is crafted to ensure understanding.
This approach still remains one of the best approaches to communicate effectively with a team. Encourage them to open up so you can be well guided when communicating in the future with them. When you mumble words or speak too quickly, you may assume that they are clear on the subject. In fact, a fundamental part of active listening is to connect with the sender, and repeat back his or her message in our own words to confirm our own understanding. It is possible to communicate anger in ways that actually achieve positive results and get your needs met.



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Comments to Ways to communicate verbally

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