At some point in our romance we recognize that a successful love life is going to take more work that we thought. When you choose not to hide your self, your feelings, and your concerns from your partner, you have made a loving decision.  Your partner needs your insights as much as you need theirs.
Share with your partner that you have areas that concern you and then ask permission to share what it is that you have peen feeling or thinking about. If you have your partner’s permission to relate your personal experience and you deliver your concerns in a loving and nonjudgmental way, you can be of great service. Offer your partner some of what you have found helpful in your own experience, or what you have found not helpful. Ok so “quiet down” begins with a Q, not a C – we know… but we thought that “Curb your Compulsion to Control” sounded just too completely complicated.
Either way, many of us feel a strong pull to want our partners to change our way, to control the outcome.
The most loving part of your action will be after you finish providing your loved one with your input. We have found these ABCs (or ABQs) for Communication in a Romance to be very effective and beneficial in our lives, and in the lives of those we have shared it with over the years. John and Elaine Leadem are licensed clinical social workers whose combined investment in the field of addiction treatment spans more than sixty years. In addition to being the co-directors of Leadem Counseling & Consulting Services, Elaine and John are seasoned therapeutic retreat leaders in working with recovering couples. Last updated: 30 Oct 2014Views expressed are those solely of the writer and have not been reviewed.
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Clipping is a handy way to collect and organize the most important slides from a presentation. If you are looking for a quick allround answer to What is Communication, you are highly unlikely to get one. The start of our journey to understand communication must be with the definition, what Communication is.
If you are telling someone something, you are sending them a message that they should receive. Study Skills Strategies Apr 24, 16 09:19 AMNeed a certain boost to your Study Skills Strategies? Business Plan Training Apr 11, 16 07:05 AMWorried or Anxious About Writing Your Business Plan? Where you as an individual can find the right business training to upgrade your skill-set and get that promotion you want. My name is Martha and I have worked for over 30 years in various aspects of business and in various countries, right around the world. The infatuation we felt when we were head-over-heals about each other in those starstruck early days was simply the effects of heavy chemical reactions firing in our brains. If it is input you want to give about an area you see your partner struggling with, then ask permission if you may share your experience of having dealt with similar feelings or challenges with your partner. But if you barge in and impose your solution or your will on your partner, he or she is likely to see you as part of the problem and they will retaliate. When you are trying to help them through their feelings, share with your partner about a similar time when you have felt that way, or when you faced a similar challenge. The truth you speak will be one borne out of your personal experience and strength and is not as likely to sound like you are preaching or judging.


You have shared your concern, now make a decision to leave your partner space to process the input in the way that they see fit (call it “Create space” if you’d like …ok we will stop thinking of more phrases that begin with C, we promise!).
Or where you, the business manager who needs to get staff trained effectively, can do so within very reasonable budgets. Those drug-like reactions do not last forever, they die down quickly, and then we face the task of putting in the hard work and time necessary to kindle a happy and lasting romance.
What about when we are able to see our partner struggling and we are not quite sure how to point it out to them without getting accused of meddling in? After we share our concerns we then need to “Catch ourselves” (see, that starts with C too) and give our partner some space.
They are both certified Sex Addiction Therapist and have co-developed a model for treating couples during the crisis stage of recovery. Though communication is a culturally loaded term there is two aspects of communication that are universal, all people involved in communication do not have equal power, the more power we have the greater our responsibility.
We try to be helpful and somehow end up hearing from our partner how we are too critical, too bossy, too overbearing – or being told that we expect perfection and are forever impossible to please… The challenges are endless! This feedback may be an oral or written message, or an action or simply a silence.Transmitting or sending message is half of the communication process. When messages reach to the receiver, he decodes the message and sends his response to the sender to complete the communication process. If the receiver does not understand what the sender wants to convey, then the sender refines or repeats the message.



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