According to a new survey of 2,500 UK workers conducted by Reed recruitment, communication (21%) is the most important factor in determining a top manager. Reed group managing director Tom Lovell told HR magazine all good leaders will have the most commonly mentioned qualities such as good communication and strong leadership, but the top managers will demonstrate at least some of the more specialist traits. MD of Cary Cooper's business psychology firm, Robertson Cooper - for all things wellbeing, engagement and resilience at work.
Professor Cary Cooper, Director and Founder of Robertson Cooper Ltd, Distinguished Professor of Organizational Psychology and Health at Manchester Business School. At some point in our romance we recognize that a successful love life is going to take more work that we thought.
When you choose not to hide your self, your feelings, and your concerns from your partner, you have made a loving decision.  Your partner needs your insights as much as you need theirs. Share with your partner that you have areas that concern you and then ask permission to share what it is that you have peen feeling or thinking about. If you have your partner’s permission to relate your personal experience and you deliver your concerns in a loving and nonjudgmental way, you can be of great service. Offer your partner some of what you have found helpful in your own experience, or what you have found not helpful. Ok so “quiet down” begins with a Q, not a C – we know… but we thought that “Curb your Compulsion to Control” sounded just too completely complicated. Either way, many of us feel a strong pull to want our partners to change our way, to control the outcome.
The most loving part of your action will be after you finish providing your loved one with your input. We have found these ABCs (or ABQs) for Communication in a Romance to be very effective and beneficial in our lives, and in the lives of those we have shared it with over the years.
John and Elaine Leadem are licensed clinical social workers whose combined investment in the field of addiction treatment spans more than sixty years. In addition to being the co-directors of Leadem Counseling & Consulting Services, Elaine and John are seasoned therapeutic retreat leaders in working with recovering couples.


Last updated: 30 Oct 2014Views expressed are those solely of the writer and have not been reviewed.
Good communication, the ability to express yourself, listen really well, and ask powerful questions, will see you through any kind of difficulty in your career and your personal life. You’ll also be able to strengthen your interpersonal relationships, professionally and personally, and that counts for a lot. Communication actually ranks higher than strong leadership (18%) and fairness (14%) in the poll, which also asked respondents to pick their ideal manager from a list of celebrities. The nature of strong leadership in the traditional sense is evolving from a carrot-and-stick approach, to being an influential presence in the business, approachable and able to share a clear vision. The infatuation we felt when we were head-over-heals about each other in those starstruck early days was simply the effects of heavy chemical reactions firing in our brains.
If it is input you want to give about an area you see your partner struggling with, then ask permission if you may share your experience of having dealt with similar feelings or challenges with your partner.
But if you barge in and impose your solution or your will on your partner, he or she is likely to see you as part of the problem and they will retaliate. When you are trying to help them through their feelings, share with your partner about a similar time when you have felt that way, or when you faced a similar challenge.
The truth you speak will be one borne out of your personal experience and strength and is not as likely to sound like you are preaching or judging.
You have shared your concern, now make a decision to leave your partner space to process the input in the way that they see fit (call it “Create space” if you’d like …ok we will stop thinking of more phrases that begin with C, we promise!). In a typical two-day session, we explore topics such as: transitioning into management, understanding personality styles, managing performance, and motivating people. Poor communication is cited as a one the biggest mistakes companies make in managing its people. It’s no surprise that communication, in this sense, is essential to relay that vision of where the business is going, and how every member of staff plays into getting there together. Those drug-like reactions do not last forever, they die down quickly, and then we face the task of putting in the hard work and time necessary to kindle a happy and lasting romance.


What about when we are able to see our partner struggling and we are not quite sure how to point it out to them without getting accused of meddling in? After we share our concerns we then need to “Catch ourselves” (see, that starts with C too) and give our partner some space. They are both certified Sex Addiction Therapist and have co-developed a model for treating couples during the crisis stage of recovery. At the end of Day 2, participants feel overwhelmed by it all and they don’t know where to begin. It is the heart of morale problems and it is also the reason behind half of all unsuccessful projects. We may sign up for a communication course in college or through a professional development program, but by then we’ve developed a long habit of miscommunicating. I’ll give you some strategies and techniques for effective communication in the next few posts, so stay tuned.
We try to be helpful and somehow end up hearing from our partner how we are too critical, too bossy, too overbearing – or being told that we expect perfection and are forever impossible to please… The challenges are endless! It felt awkward to place your hands on the instrument and the sound you produced was pretty awful, right? With practice, though, you became more comfortable with the instrument and your noise started to sound like music. The same holds true for the first time you learned how to ride a bicycle, play a sport, or work at a craft.



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