Not only did I stand her up, I made her share a bed with a cat who likes to sleep on top of people and pee in their suitcases. Even though I still will choose an ice cold Coke over a fine glass of wine, I had a fabulous time wine-tasting. Saarloos and Sons was the next winery we went to, and it was awesome for a number of reasons. Luckily, Becky is the type of friend who doesn’t begrudge us for sleeping while she drives.
This entry was posted in Friends, Katie Confessions and tagged Africa, Friends, Misc Confessions, Running, vacations on January 31, 2013 by katievandyk.
Forcing Americans to pronounce French words must have been someone’s idea of a cruel joke. You know that moment when you stand after sitting in the same position for too long and you realize much too late that you have no feeling in your leg?
I take a swipe of frosting with my finger and then chase it down with a gulp of milk, straight from the jug. For the record, she did respond to my e-mail later in the day, and there was no need to hunt her down. Last weekend I saw a bunch of college kids pitching their tents in a line on UCLA’s campus. Yeah I guess, as cool as magicians can be, but he’s still super weird and I doubt college kids would line up to see him.
In the adult world you can often get away with passing gas at work without fear of judgement or ridicule. I bet politicians and big-wig businessmen can get away with ripping a rapid fire of terrible toots without anyone even raising an eyebrow.
Adults are condemned to silently suffer when others emit pungent odors reminiscent of rotten eggs and sewage.

And when the attack happens in a high school, if just one little pop slips out or one simple waft of a future poop is released into the air,  it WILL be noticed. And if the victim is a girl trying her hardest not to be noticed, she might be traumatized. I would venture to say that at least 60 % of teenage girls would say their most embarrassing moment of high school was caused by a fart. Just yesterday I had to pretend to rearrange the books in the back of the classroom so students wouldn’t notice my laughter after witnessing the after-effects of a deadly bottom blast. The poor tooter was grinning and turning bright red, but there was nothing I could do to save him.
And you’re asking for a mean case of the giggles to break out if you call any attention to the brown cloud. You may think me rude for deriving such pleasure from these moments that must be sheer torture for some kids.
A friend and former flight attendant, who often suffered from the alti-tooties, taught me the beauty of crop-dusting an aisle. Simply walk up and down the aisles at a brisk pace leaving the students to bask in your fart cloud and wonder which classmate had done it. This entry was posted in Awkwardness, Classroom Confessions, Reasons I Love to Teach and tagged Classroom Confessions, farts on January 11, 2013 by katievandyk.
Then when we were making s’mores, I let Logan eat the marshmallow straight off the pointed skewer which had been in the fire. My original goal was to wear them all five days of the week (because I like to set my goals high), but the butt got too saggy and I was too lazy to wash them.
My family wowed everyone in Kimmi’s restaurant when we surprised our mom with a graduation party.
And for all the married moms, you can thank my friend Christy for introducing me to THIS HILARIOUS BLOG.

My brother introduced me to the show Go On, so one day I watched 6 straight episodes and didn’t get out of my pjs until two. My dad’s brother and his family of six from the Philippines stayed with my parents for the break, making for some wonderful wowness. Yes, there were small children dressed as peacocks and yes I was the only white person around. Someone had accidentally tagged me in a post on Facebook, and the thought of me dancing away at a nightclub in San Diego was quite comical- especially since I had actually been doing homework in my sweats all day. Yes, I was scribbling like a madwoman during the sermon and had 5 pages of notes by the end. That truth brought such comfort after Sandy Hook, and for anyone stuck in a situation they long to be out of.
Rather than end on a heavy thought, I’ve saved the Christmas day wow moments for the end. And in the afternoon, my dad, uncle, 2 cousins, sister-in-law and I went to the park and played full court 3-on-3. This entry was posted in Faith, Family and tagged Christmas, Holidays, wows on January 6, 2013 by katievandyk. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. The upside to thinking about your impending death is that it forces you to run much faster.
In my refrigerator is a jar of a vanilla frosting that I’ve been working on all week.

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Comments to «Cute texts to send while hes at work»

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