Getting over someone involves being able to let go of a love that was once there and may not be there anymore. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Spring is around the corner, and a lot of people I know are getting married. Likewise, a lot of people I know are ending relationships. It seems that whenever a relationship ends, there is the always the question of whether or not the two should remain friends. However, based on my experience and those of my friends, it probably isn’t a good idea to be friends with your ex. Even in relationships where both parties mutually agree to end it, there are often hurt feelings or some upset involved.
Often, it’s not just awkward for you, but for the new boyfriend or girlfriend as well.
Even the most confident person may start to wonder what you are doing with them if it appears you are still carrying a torch for your ex. Also, if your ex has a new boyfriend or girlfriend, it is possible you may feel jealous of them even if do believe that you are an evolved person and feel that jealous is mostly cultural. Now, I have heard of people who were genuinely happy for their ex when they left the relationship for someone they thought was their soulmate, but much like the Loch Ness monster, I have personally never seen one of these people. However, even if you are one of these people, the chances are your ex may not be on the same plane as you are.
If you are ever in the situation where you or your ex left the other for someone else and then got back together with your ex, then please, for everyone’s sanity do not try to be friends with the person that you or they left the other for.
Also, if you are doing this and in a relationship with someone else then this could be a sign that you have some serious boundary issues. In a nutshell, when people are no longer part of our lives, it doesn’t have to mean the relationship was a failure. It’s a cliche, but it is true that sometimes if you truly love someone then some times the best thing you can do is to set them free. Kimberly Lo is a yoga instructor and freelance editor & writer based in Charlottesville, VA.
I have 3 or 4 exes I am still friends with, and am glad we are still a part of each other's lives. I'm friends with 2 of my ex-boyfriends (in one of the cases, I consider he and his wife two of my closest friends). My ex and I have both moved on but maintain a very amicable relationship because of the kids. These points seem valid for a certain level of emotional safety, perhaps geared to people who are still really engaged in, perhaps struggling, developing the most critical of all relationships, the one with ourselves. Relationships CAN end without either party being bitter about it, believe it or not men and women can be friends even if they have been more.


The article was really well written and helpful to some extent, but it also perpetuates the idea that it has to be a certain way.
Both in relationships where I've broken up and have been broken up in, and a relationship where it ended mutually the closure helped much more than if I were to never speak to them again.
Is it too soon for either of us to talk to each other again if the "lets be friends" thing is true? Can’t agree with this one, because my ex and I are still good friends, we still love each other, and our children have learned un-conditional love and forgiveness. I’ve deleted his number from my phone, unfriended him on FB, deleted all our e-mail threads and his contact info in my e-mail program. Some people have big issues with boundaries, and for that reason, I demanded my husband to get rid of his ex.
I may not be the one for you but you are the one for me and maybe I wont end up with you but hun ill always wish it was just us two.
If you are trying to move on, then having the other person in your life may prevent or delay the process. Often times, even if the person is the one leaving the relationship, there are a lot of feelings of guilt involved. While this makes for great drama and juicy gossip for your friends, most of the time these things do not end well or at least not based on what I have seen. Her advice is that if you want to want to keep in touch with your ex and see how they are doing, then meet for your ex for coffee once a year, write the occasional note or make the occasional call—but don’t try to be best buds. Just because someone was part of your life for a period of time does not mean that they have to be part of your life forever. We have shared parts of our lives with each other and have found that we were not a good match … ok. My ex-husband, I can be civil to when I have to speak with him, but generally, we don't interact. Not many people are able to maintain a healthy friendship afterwards and these reasons would be why, but not everybody is so weak minded that they succumb to a sort of jealousy or are unable to accept the fact things have moved on.
We have some friends in common, because we’ve all lived in the same town for most of our lives. If that happened in my relationship, I would take a hard look at myself and ask why I chose them in the first place.
I never go out of my way to remain friends with my ex's but a couple of them are still close to me now.
Not all relationships end on bad terms & we all move at different paces to process things differently.
I try to pull away and he pursues connection with me, then he pulls away and I pursue connection with him.
She used to drunk call him late at night to say she missed her mother who died 15 years ago!


At the very least, give it a break for a while and establish a no-contact rule for a set period of time. No matter how understanding and sweet your new guy or girl seems to be, they probably do not want to constantly hear about your ex. Plus, if you appear too happy, then they may wonder if you ever really cared for them in the first place. Not being friends with someone does not have to mean that you ignore that person or run the other way when you see them; it just means that they are not part of your life.
I don't prefer that because some of our stickiest connections are also those that are rich with opportunity to expand. The only reason you would not want to keep in touch with your ex is if it was an abusive relationship, and their also some exception to the rule in worst case scenarios. What bad there was, has been resolved long ago internally with me, or externally by us finally talking about things in an after-the-fact manner. From the break up to running into each other we did not communicate at all and I have yet to hear from him.
The funny part was she wanted to be friends until I spelt it out that she was stuck in her toxic relationships, and had very bad boundary issues. If people had the same level of maturity and respect, then being friends with ex'es could be a good idea but we know this is not always the case as people are different. My parents were a textbook case in how NOT to behave so I have that background steering me towards something more healthy.
There are definitely some exes who do not deserve your friendship, but it shouldn’t be a general rule. And, yes, some are not, but that is not sufficient cause for me to abandon all of them.There is a level of self-awareness and confidence that is worth attaining first if you want to bring unabashed integrity to any aspect of your life, personal relationships being just one of them. If I chose them and loved them but a relationship didn’t work, why would I punish either of us by avoiding them after it ended? It's like you're looking at them through the eyes of your best friend, and you realize she's nothing special. People who cannot let go—and you probably have met someone like this—and are constantly calling, texting and sending gifts to their exes, even though said ex has not expressed any interest in being in touch, are usually not people who have moved on. I have a number of ex's I count as friends, meaning we share mutual respect and caring without needing to be overly engaged.



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