As you've probably heard, nearly half of all marriages now end in divorce, leaving bitter spouses and confused children in their wake. Answer: A To remain angry and upset over hurts and grievances (big or little) is exceedingly dangerous. Answer: A Each spouse has a God-given right to certain personal privacies without explanation. Answer: A Laziness, disorder, dirt, and slovenliness are the devil's weapons to destroy your respect and affection for one another, and thus ruin your marriage. Answer: A Few things will strengthen your marriage more than counselling together on all major decisions.
Long ago Christ gave a pointed and comforting answer to one who had fallen into immorality but was repentant.
Physical abuse can be life threatening and is a serious problem that demands immediate attention.
A married couple must leave father and mother and establish their own home, even if finances require that it be a one-room apartment. Unless quickly solved, even little problems become set in your mind as convictions and attitudes adversely affecting your whole philosophy of life.
Do not tamper with each other's wallets or purses, personal mail, and other private property unless given permission. Neat, modest attire and clean, well-groomed bodies are essential for both husband and wife.
Changing a job or purchasing a home, an automobile, a boat, furniture, clothing (major items at least), and all other items that require money involve both husband and wife, and the opinions of both should be considered. The spouse and family members who have been physically abused must find a safe environment in which to live.
ThoseA in charge tried to adjust the thermostat to her liking, but they could neverseem to please this individual.A First it was too cold, and then it was too hot. 20121 Kings 8:28 -- But please listen to my prayer and my request, because I am your servant.
Whether your marriage is going through tough times or is experiencing marital bliss, or even if you're not yet married but considering it, here's some free but proven advice to help your marriage last.
Don't take each other for granted, or the monotony that results will destroy your marriage. Don't forget that God Himself joined you together in marriage, and He intends for you to stay together and be happy. Avoid seeing, saying, reading, or hearing anything that (or associating with anyone who) suggests impurity or unfaithfulness. Kneel before God and ask Him for true love for one another, for forgiveness, for strength, for wisdom--for the solution to problems.
A third person to sympathize or listen to complaints is a tool of the devil to estrange the hearts of husband and wife.
Work, love, rest, exercise, play, worship, meals, and social contacts must be carefully balanced in your marriage, or something will snap. Decisions made when angry, tired, or discouraged are unreliable anyway, so it's best to relax and let anger cool. Wife and husband both should have small, equal sums (whenever possible) to spend as desired without giving account. Both husband and wife need to seek professional help through a qualified Christian marriage counsellor. Keep love growing by expressing love for one another or it will die, and you will drift apart. He will bring happiness and love into your lives if you will obey His divine rules (commandments).
The real secret of true happiness in the home is not diplomacy, strategy, and untiring effort to overcome problems, but rather, union with Christ. Love is not a sentimental impulse, but a holy principle that involves every phase and action of life. Overwork and the lack of sleep, proper food, or exercise make a person critical, intolerant, and negative.
The home should be clean and orderly, because this brings peace, calmness, and satisfaction to all. A miserly husband usually angers his wife into being a spender, just as a wasteful husband makes a wife stingy.
If, after much discussion and earnest prayer, opinions still differ, the wife should submit to her husband's decision. Many a marriage that might have been a little heaven on earth has been changed into hell by in-laws.
Love and happiness are not found by seeking them for yourself, but rather by giving them to others. Besides, making up is a very pleasant experience, with unusual powers to draw marriage partners closer together. The praying person is not automatically cured of all of his faults, but he will have a heart that wants to do right.
Constant overeating is a great evil that strengthens the lower nature and dulls the conscience.
A lazy, shiftless husband who does not provide for his household is a curse to his family and an insult to God.
Showing confidence in your companion's managing ability will usually make him or her more businesslike.a€?a€?*Reprinted with the permission of Macmillan Publishing Company from The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition by J.


Showing confidence in your companion's managing ability will usually make him or her more businesslike.*Reprinted with the permission of Macmillan Publishing Company from The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition by J. Without it, it cannot succeed.a€?a€?*Weymouth's New Testament in Modern Speech by Richard Francis Weymouth.
Only God can make such changes, and we shall all answer personally to Him on this matter (Romans 14:12). Carelessness in some of these seemingly small matters is destroying homes by the thousands.a€?a€?*The Revised Standard Version of the Bible, (C) 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA.
When Christ really shines from your life, you will have little trouble with evil men and their advances. Without it, it cannot succeed.*Weymouth's New Testament in Modern Speech by Richard Francis Weymouth. Carelessness in some of these seemingly small matters is destroying homes by the thousands.*The Revised Standard Version of the Bible, (C) 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. If that employee was going to reach the level God desired for her, itA would require a serious attitude change on her part. God, who places love in the heart of a missionary for a leprous savage, can easily give you love for each other if you will let Him.
The gospel is the cure for all marriages that are filled with hatred, bitterness, and disappointment. A sense of humor, a cheerful heart, kindness, patience, and affection will banish two-thirds of your marriage problems. Perfect confidence and trust in one another--no checking up on each other--is absolutely essential for happiness. If you and your wife will turn your lives over to Christ, He will make your marriage supremely happy. We had bent over backwardsA to make this person happy; now it was time for this employee to quit complaining and makeA an attitude adjustment. And as for adultery (in spite of what some marriage counsellors say), it always hurts you and everyone else involved. The secret of a successful marriage lies not in having the right partner, but rather in being the right partner.a€?a€?*Reprinted with the permission of Macmillan Publishing Company from The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition by J. This works wonders.a€?a€?*Weymouth's New Testament in Modern Speech by Richard Francis Weymouth.
The secret of a successful marriage lies not in having the right partner, but rather in being the right partner.*Reprinted with the permission of Macmillan Publishing Company from The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition by J.
If you harbor feelings of resentment, you deny yourself the healthy and enriched life that could be yours if you let go of bitterness. Once it becomes this deeply rootedA in your soul, your negative opinion of the offender will becomeA firmly fixed.
Forgiveness puts a dent in depression, lowers the risk of substance abuse and even lowers blood pressure, according to the Mayo Clinic. Torn, frustrated, unhappy, twisted lives almost inevitably follow divorce, and even success in life itself is often thwarted. So if flirtations have begun, break them off at once, or shadows may settle over your life that cannot be lifted.
As time passes, yourA thoughts of judgment against him will become more developed, rationalized, and established. When you are able to forgive, even a person who doesn't want your forgiveness, you grow in such a way that your other relationships will benefit. God instituted marriage to guard people's purity and happiness, to provide for their social needs, and to elevate their physical, mental, and moral nature. But if the air cana€™t be adjusted to your liking or if you cana€™t have an office with a window, ita€™s time for you to put a smile on your face and do a good job for your employer with a happy attitude.
AcceptanceAccept that your act of forgiveness will perhaps do nothing to improve the relationship, since the person is not interested in receiving this act.
Given a chance, love always wins.a€?a€?*The Revised Standard Version of the Bible, (C) 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Overdoing or under-doing in anything weakens the mind, body, conscience, and the ability to love and respect one another.
Given a chance, love always wins.*The Revised Standard Version of the Bible, (C) 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Lower your expectations, and focus on the results that you personally will receive from forgiving him.
Don't let intemperance wreck your marriage.a€?a€?*Reprinted with the permission of Macmillan Publishing Company from The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition by J.
Don't let intemperance wreck your marriage.*Reprinted with the permission of Macmillan Publishing Company from The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition by J.
He hired you to be a blessing!A The fact is, sometimes we dona€™t get to have everything just the way wea€™d like to have it.
It could be that you will never again speak to this person or will need to deal with his indifference for years to come. Since you cannot control the outcome no matter what you do, decide to let go and forgive for your own good, accepting that some situations simply don't turn out the way you'd like. If we are being paid to do a good job and to be cooperative with our employer and fellow employees, then we need to do what we are being paid to do! The day we give up that servanta€™s attitude to become a source of constant complaining is the day we cease to be a blessing and become instead a hindrance that is no longer needed on the team.A If youa€™re filled with the Holy Spirit and the power of God, ita€™s time for you to get tough!
However, when you choose to focus on your enjoyment of a new friendship or your plans to go back to college, for example, the hurt recedes into the background -- where it belongs.


You can be victorious in any environment, even in working conditions that arena€™t exactly what you wish they could be. If this describes you, it is essential that you grab hold of that root of bitterness through the act of repentance and rip those destructive roots clear out of your soul!
Manage StressPractice stress management, advises Luskin, noting that doing so will calm the body's fight-or-flight response which is activated during times of emotional upset. When your stomach is not tied in a knot from thinking about how your coworker deliberately sabotaged your chance at a promotion, for example, you'll be able to think the higher level thoughts you need to make the best decision for your mental health. When you notice bitter and unpleasant thoughts beginning to surface, switch your focus to something else and take a few slow, deep diaphragmatic breathes to soothe your system. I know that the fruit of bitterness is very sour, and I dona€™t want that fruitA to be a part of my life. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts.
In such times, they would simplyA run out of food and drink.A Yet this lack of food and drink didna€™t affect Paula€™s desire to go onward to the next town. TheA instant I recognize that a seed of bitterness is trying to sprout in me, I will grab hold of thatA root, and through the act of repentance, rip those destructive roots out of my soul. Dona€™t you see that it would be more healthy for you to forgive your offenderA and to walk free of those detrimental attitudes?A 2.
First and foremost, he wanted to accomplish his God-given objectives for each day and for each city where he labored. Is there anyone whom you have wronged and who now has a root of bitternessA because of you? Which person comes to your mind as an example of someone who has been controlledA by bitterness?
Eating was not the highest priority on his mind.A I have personally known many people who took a missions trip and then swore they would never take another one because they didna€™t like the food they were given to eat on the trip.
I amastonished when believers are so finicky about what they eat that they allow the issue to steal their joy and affect their obedience to God.
Don't get me wrong, I am a finicky eater but the mission comes first.A It perplexes me when people bewail that the food doesna€™t taste like food a€?back home.a€?Of course it doesna€™t! Then after grumbling about the food, they go to an evangelisticcrusade where they expect to exercise spiritual authority to cast out demons.
But how in the world do they ever think theya€™ll have power over demons if they dona€™t even have enough power to be thankful for a meal that is placed in front of them?A The phrase a€?in fastings oftena€? tells us about Paula€™s priorities.
Prisoners often contracted terrible cases ofA lung disease and died prematurely on account of these damp conditions.
To make a captivea€™s stay inA prison even more miserable, the captor would often strip him almost naked before throwing himA into the cave-like cell. The heat is turned on for the entire city on a setA day every fall, and the heat is turned off for the entire city on a set day every spring. Regardless ofA the temperature, the heat is not turned on or off until that date on the calendar.
Sometimes when the weather turnsA cold earlier than expected, the citizens may live in the cold for quite a lengthy period of time. WhenA that happens, there is nothing people can do about it except dress in warmer clothes and try to keepA themselves warm. Complaining wona€™t change the situation, so people learn to work and function inA the cold.A I admit that this isna€™t a pleasurable experience, but grumbling about the cold doesna€™t make the days pass any faster. Therefore, people mentally adjust to the inconvenience; then they live and work in the cold until the day finally comes when the city turns on the heat. They make the mental adjustment to deal with the cold and are therefore able to live through the inconvenience.A Sometimes that is the way it is with life. The second choice is the one God wants us to make, for this is the one that demonstrates the attitude of Jesus Christ in our lives!A So if youa€™ve been grumbling or complaining about a situation that just cana€™t be fixed to your liking, ita€™s time for you toquit grumbling and to start rejoicing.
As you do, you will find the strength to endure any hardship you are facing with joy.A A As you make the choice to endure this hardship in the joy of the Lord, the Holy Spirit will fill you with a spirit of victory. And in the end, you will find that you came through the difficult situation you i»?i»?were facing much more quickly than you ever imagined you could!i»?i»?i»?i»?A Lord, please forgive me for the times Ia€™ve been a whiner and a complainer!
I am so sorry thatA Ia€™ve made life miserable for the people who work with me at my job or at church. I repent for my wrongA behavior, and Ia€™m asking You today to help me make a mental adjustment. Help me learn to beA thankful for the blessings I have and for the salary my employer pays me. I am never a source of contention;A instead, I am a constant source of blessing to those who are over me. What are some of the inconveniences you face at your place of employment orA where God has called you to serve?
If your employer, supervisor, or pastor has tried to adjust things to your liking,A have you expressed your thankfulness to that person for his or her attempts toA please you? Remember a€” the person in authority over you didna€™t have to doA anything at all to please you.
Is God telling you to make a mental adjustment so you can function victoriouslyA where He has called you to live, to serve, and to work?



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