I also love the story of the two golfers who were on the course when a funeral procession passed by. Speaking of kids and their skewed perspective of the world, this is especially true of students with respect to their teachers. The funniest kids' sermon fiasco I've ever heard may or may not have actually happened, but I'm telling it anyway. There are many great comedians I have enjoyed over the years, but the people I admire most are people who don't get paid for it. One of them stopped, took off his cap, and waited quietly until the somber parade had passed. Most parents have nightmares about what their child might say into the pastor's mike, and many of them have stories to share that they would just as soon not. Early elementary teachers have to deal routinely with students who are shocked to see them buying groceries or shopping at Wal-Mart. An example of this would be the story about a small country church that got a new preacher.
A small child's attempts to understand the complex world of adults can lead to many erroneous and humorous conclusions.
At our church the kids recently celebrated a€?Veterinarian's Daya€? and last Christmas when asked to describe Christmas decorations in their homes, they forgot an important one.
As the students age, so does their understanding of teachers as a€?real people,a€? but even in high school there can be some surprises. One of my freshman algebra students was visiting with me after school and was trying to wax philosophical.


Last Christmas Beverly bought me personalized University of Texas license plates for my car, which display my initials and year of graduation - BCT 75. He's seen a lot of life, and if I could spend more time with him, I would do an entire essay on Jim Roy, but I'll limit this initial introduction to a couple of my favorite comments. Speaking of his saintly wife, I asked her if he was following her around one day and he jumped in with, a€?Oh it's quite the opposite!
After he'd been there a few weeks, he was shaking hands with his parishioners one Sunday as they left the church when a young girl looked up at him with sad eyes and said, a€?Preacher, when I grow up, I'm gonna save all my money and give it to you.a€? He was deeply touched by this sentiment even though also somewhat puzzled by it. I'm impressed that you would show such respect for a funeral.a€? George said, a€?Well, Edith was a faithful wife for 42 years. We so quickly forget what it was like to be a child that we are often surprised by the things they say. When carefully prompted to say a€?mangera€? by giving a description, an eager hand shot up and answered a€?Gingerbread Housea€?!
We so quickly forget what it was like to be a child that we are often surprised by the things they say.A  When my son was 5, he knew that the sun was a huge ball of fire, but he couldn't understand how it could set in the west without setting all the grass on fire west of town.
The proud pastor makes an obvious choice for the day's sermon topic and starts by asking a question. In the faculty workroom (we're not allowed to use the term a€?faculty loungea€?), he was a dry wit and a constant source of amusement.
Without being too immodest I began listing what I perceived as my attributes and included the often-made comment (by people other than myself) that I had a good sense of humor. His best attempt to hide his intense jealousy was, a€?Gee, brother, how much extra did it cost to put your age on there?a€? Classic Budd.


Otherwise I'd have to kiss her good-bye!a€? Granted, these would be funnier if you could hear Jim Roy do the delivery. At that point he looked at me with shock and sputtered, a€?You're not funny!a€? I was somewhat taken aback by this response, because I always a€?killed ita€? in the workroom. I have enjoyed the Reader's Digest for decades, especially a€?Laughter, the Best Medicine.a€? Sadly, I was never funny enough to make that column - and I tried.
One day we had a faculty meeting before school and a couple of my first period students attended for some good reason, although I can't remember why. Then I realized that he had the misfortune of being in my most challenging class discipline-wise, and he was right. Just remember: be willing to make fun of yourself, do something original, and don't forget the unexpected twist at the end. As I recall, the meeting was very routine, but when we got to first period I overheard one of those students exclaim to her friends, a€?I didn't know Mr. In his class I was constantly struggling to maintain enough control to actually teach some math to a group of highly unmotivated freshmen and there was nothing funny about it.




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