Some people collect the friendship of exes and love interests – don’t stay in the harem! Talking with a friend recently who was rather enamoured with a chap who was super ambiguous, a little probing revealed that this guy has a hell of a lot of female friends.
This guy collects exes, love interests that he’s turned down as well as becoming friends with the exes of his friends. They’re also deterrents that tend to keep potential new partners at bay or are disruptive if it progresses. I regularly ask people who are expending excessive amounts of energy on keeping their ex in their life: Exactly what part of moving forward with your life does your ex fit into? He told me early on that he was in therapy for his divorce and could not keep his son overnight . Eventually this became a problem in our relationship, and when I called him on the carpet for his boundary busting behavior, he revealed why he was in therapy.
And then they get to be in charge, and they get to control a group of women, which makes up for all the times they felt smothered and hurt by the women in their lives when they were growing up (or NOT growing up, as the case may be).
As for the comment that all these guys secretly hate women…I don’t believe that’s the case. I know a women like this – she has a huge harem of exes along with rejected love interests.
She still text messages very occasionally (maybe three times this year – she loves lazy communication) asking me how I am. Nina, yes, it feels ugly because you sense that their interest is centred only on themselves.
I noticed that ACMM seemed to need to have a romp just before any kind of “family” affair – Thanksgiving, the yearly “wife business trip” he attended.
Single EUM also has a harem, but it seems to be fading out – he doesn’t have the charisma required to maintain fantasy.
Also continually said that marriage or indeed a live in relationship would be like being trapped stuck in a box with someone his idea of hell. I also had a theory that he fell in love with men but had sex with women because he could never identify himself with being gay. Another comment he used to make was it is amazing I’m not gay this was in reference to his upbringing.
The women in his harem all think he is such a great guy (it is very important to him that he be seen as a good guy) – they are like sycophants! I learned a lot about woman-haters from my first serious relationship, and from my last one. When I asked if he would like to do something after work in the weekday, he just made excuses.
Another guy who I suspected still had a girlfriend, his phone would constantly go off, he was even know to check it after we had sex and he would keep texting(yet again) He had tons of female friends and pictures of them(a bit creepy). Never ignore red flags, your gut will always tell you something is wrong even if you don’t have the evidence. After nearly a lifetime of being devoted to what I call a€?good-natured curmudgeonrya€? (and no, that is NOT an oxymoron), ita€™s strangely disconcerting to find that my retired life has now left me with little to grumble about a€“ not even good-naturedly. Still, a lot of other places have pleasant climates; ita€™s just that Ia€™ve never lived in any of them and so I am having to become accustomed to a lot of nice little weather characteristics for the first time. The trouble, too, is that there are far too many interesting people here with whom to socialize. Because Mary Beth and I were airline people, we did a fair amount of traveling during our working life and so are now more contented than most to just enjoy where we are. But I still refuse to give up my curmudgeonous nature, however the practice of curmudgeonry obviously gets harder by the day because this locality and its circumstances argue so strongly against it.

Even the most secure people in the world would feel rattled by going out with someone who spends most of their time juggling their exes including ex love interests.
You say you want to meet somebody and have a mutual relationship – why are you basing your life plans around how to keep your ex in your life or even how to keep them happy?
Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way. I remember when I was blissfully ignorant about narcisstic harems and all things AC (sigh). They see us as objects, pretty little heads, not nearly as clever or brilliant as they are, by our very nature. Once I cracked that particular Da Vinci code, a lot of other things began to fall into place. A couple of years ago I began distancing myself from her owing to my realisation that she was EU in our long standing friendship. I think it takes a combination of the two to damage a man’s sense of masculinity in this way, so that he sees women as the enemy, but other men as an unattainable cause of yearning and craving for love.
I say this because of how he talked about men and it was different to how he spoke about women.
They hang on his every word, laugh at every joke, and give him an instant ego stroke whenever he needs it.
The dichotomy of acting like women are so crazy and beneath him yet consistently surrounding himself with women has always confused me.
Does anyone know how to meet a guy who doesn’t have a collection of exes or female friends he fancies and wants to sleep with? My ex-fiance is exactly the same, has a huge harem, everyone loves him, they all think he’s so nice and so much fun. During his time at Wests John went from a speedy, hard running and tackling winger into a very hard running, ferocious tackling Test playing second rower.But let us not get to far ahead of ourselves a€¦a€¦John was born at Kempsey (not Casino) on the 1-3-1947. Like when you see those shows about hoarders and then can barely move for all of the stuff piled up around them and they feel super attached to stuff that they’re never going to use or appreciate for that matter. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you. But I believe what at the root of the commitment phobia is a deep fear of being rejected or smothered by a woman…and a fear of losing their freedom. And it’s good to be aware of this, because it IS out there, and it can be very destructive to your self-respect. I was getting a lot of anxiety and anger which was immediately relieved after the epiphany moment and taking action. All of his co-workers are female and he thinks nothing of having lunch with them every day or going to happy hour with them every week. I thought his initial attraction to me was because we were friends first and would discuss this type of stuff at length. I think it is only possible if you are with a guy who is unattractive, less confident and socially awkward. Grr ?? It started out as a fling between us, then he got really serious and we lasted 2 years with me thinking i was the special one who had changed him! At this point, she was still thinking that he was that special and putting him on a pedestal. He would ignore my texts for hours, sometimes days, but he would come home from work (where he just spent ALL DAY with these women) and spend all night back and forth with them on FB.
Of course he painted me out to be the bad guy, posting heart breaking messages on his Facebook, I’m the least drama queen mental person you will meet. Undeterred, she reassured me that these friendships (erm, more like a harem) were genuine and that he has all of these female friends because, well, he’s so intelligent, funny, and quirky.

All of this carry-on is reassurance that they’re not shady and is about maintaining illusions.
My ex had played that card with me several times until I got wise and realized I wasn’t moving on as long as he had even a tiny hook in me via the friendship card. Friends do listen to each others dating stories, give advice and offer perspective about their personal lives.
They don’t know him, I saw a very different side to him on that night when he shouted at me and sent me home in a taxi late at night. All I want to do is ambiguously be friends with them and they all go and get the wrong feckin’ idea. Along with some other hygiene issues, he only showered every other day and didn’t always wash his hair . I would argue with him that when a guy says ALL of his exes are crazy he should look at himself because HE is the common denominator. I am ashamed to admit that ultimately I became part of this harem and ended up competing for his attention (and almost always lost). John was also playing rep football Group v Group.A 1965 A  Johna€™s life was about to change forever. But let’s face it, what woman wants a man who almost exclusively hangs out with other women all the time and only asks you to hang out at the last minute?? Eric organized for Billy Owens and Noel Kelly to visit and chat to John about playing for Wests in Sydney. I remember him hemming and hawing, backing out of my office saying he “just didn’t want me to feel like I was being excluded”.
He was told that he should play Rugby Union to beat the transfer fee that Smithtown might put on him.The story was if you played RU for 1 year you could move over to League and not incur a transfer fee. One of Johna€™s flatmates was trying out for Easts Rugby League and told John to come along and try out for Easts.John met with Roy Flynn, the Easts treasurer at the time and the conversation went like thisa€¦a€?No chance, bring him back when he grows up!!!a€? John had just turned 18. This chat stayed with John and he always played that little bit harder when Wests played Easts.John, without a car, arrived at Ashfield park via public transport and trained with Wests.
I cana€™t find out the score but John tells me the Water Board boys won.A A The main event.
One team, drawn out of a hat, would have the luxury of playing the winner of the first playoff match.
One night Ned arrived to find me asleep on a park bench with a newspaper over my head and I was christened Sleepy which over time was turned into Snoozer.a€?A Below is a story about Johns life now at South West Rocks. A A Ita€™s a bumpy, dusty drive beside the Macleay River just south of South West Rocks (home to Smoky Cape Lighthouse and a prison with a killer view, Trial Bay Gaol) to get to the big blue shed at Rainbow Reach, with potholes so deep you could fish in them a€“ but the drive is worth it. John Elfords oysters explode in your mouth, salty and creamy, with a lingering mineral aftertaste.Hea€™s been oyster farming here for a dozen years, is passionate about his product and the river he works and lives by, and reckons he wouldna€™t want to do anything else. As aA  Wests fan in the 1960a€™s and 70a€™s John a€?Snoozera€? Elford was a player I would love to watch play. About Us Contact Us A Tribute to Ben Fisher and Jack Thompson Bill Keato the Lad from Liverpool Old Newspaper stories and photos from the 1960's VALE Laurie Bruyeres VALE Nev Charlton. VALE Bill Keato VALE Vince Karalius VALE Bob McGuiness VALE Denis Meaney VALE Johnny Mowbray Vale Kel O'Shea Vale Mark "Snow" Patch VALE Bob Sargent Vale Ken "Nebo" Stonestreet.
VALE Doug Walkaden 1966 Season 1967 Season 1968 Season 1969 Season Noel's Dream Team What a game Wests Photos from the Old Days Case of the Missing Goal Posts A Visit to Old Pratten Park Peter Dimond Book Launch Interview with ------ Noel Kelly Interview with ------ Tony Ford Interview with------- Mick Alchin Interview with Jim Cody Interview with ------ Colin Lewis Interview with ------ John Mowbray Interview with ------ Noel Thornton Interview with ------- Bill Owens Interview with John "Chow" Hayes Arncliffe Scots 1969 Un-Defeated Premiers Arncliffe Scots 85 years reunion 2003 Pratten Park Reunion 2007 Pratten Park Reunion 2008 Pratten Park Reunion 2009 Pratten Park Reunion 2010 Pratten Park Reunion 2011 Pratten Park Reunion 2012 Pratten Park Reunion 2013 Pratten Park Reunion.

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