Here are 12 common mistakes that guys make with women, which can lead to rejection or a relationship break up.
This one skill determines the quality of woman you can have access to and how much she will want to stay with you when in relationship.
I’m not talking about a mild attraction where she “kind of” likes you; I’m talking about INTENSE attraction where she has to have you. Being able to talk to a woman and get her to feel attracted to you right away, is a skill that is very important to your overall success with women. Why do there have to be so many silly “mind games” involved in starting a relationship with a woman? Most guys can’t work up the courage to approach attractive women, which is actually a huge opportunity for you. How can you get your ex back if you’ve made the classic mistake of begging and pleading with her? The secret of how to make your ex miss you seems like a pretty obvious answer, but it isn’t. When a guy is trying to get a woman back, he will often make a lot of mistakes that make the whole ex back process frustrating, disheartening and annoying. People don’t always see things the same way all the time, which is why it is perfectly normal for a couple to fight once in a while. The secret of how to get back together with your ex basically comes down to the following three things. When a woman compliments you, the way that you respond will depend on whether or not you want to have sex with her. Talking to a woman on the phone is easy when you focus on the fact that she must already like you if she’s given you her number. I have been helping men and women get back with their ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends for over three and a half years.
I have responded to over 20,000 comments through this site and my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery and have seen quite a few things along the way. In an effort to help more people through my websites I have been playing closer attention to the comments I am getting and looking for trends. Well, yesterday I got so many comments of a certain nature that I felt compelled to stop working on another article I was working on and start a new one, this one. More specifically, men who had addictive behavior and were trying to get their ex girlfriends back.
A lot of men seem to be neglecting their girlfriends in favor of their addiction which ultimately results in a breakup. The point I am getting at here is simple, while I would love to continue talking about the general concepts of getting an ex girlfriend back on this site I feel it is extremely important if I address these problems first. I am writing this page for those of you who are trying to get your ex girlfriend back if you have an addiction. More specifically, I am writing it for those of you whose addiction was so prevalent that it was the underlying cause of your breakup.
It is going to show you exactly what steps you need to take to not only recover her but recover your non-addicted personality. I mean, It literally annoys me that I can’t finish these massive articles all in one sitting. A state characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. A state characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli = Me constantly playing WOW and it making me feel good.
When most people think of addiction they think of the hard addictions like drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.
Too many of those little addictions can be just as devastating to a relationship as the bigger more well known ones.
Lets take a deeper look at all the types of addictions that men can have that cause women to leave them. I know that is weird for me to say but in my opinion someone who has to work out every single day is addicted to excercise.
No, we are just going to be looking at the addictions that have a negative impact on your relationship.
Ok, before I really dive in here I would like to give you a brief overview of the negative addictions that I am going to be talking about. Based on what I am seeing there are a lot of young men out there that have a video game addiction. You have just gotten the newest Final Fantasy game (hey I have a bit of a nerdy side and this is my chance to show it off.) The game is absolutely incredible and you are glued to the screen so much that everything that happens in that fantasy world just captivates you.
Then, all of a sudden, your girlfriend (your ex) comes home from work excited to see you and instead of rushing to the door to greet her with a kiss you completely ignore her and are focused on the game.
Each member has to communicate with each other and set aside time earmarked for just that one person. Look, I am in agreement that everyone needs some alone time here and there but people also need together time too. She just wanted someone she could vent to about how bad her day was or what’s happening in the office.
However, since you keep ignoring her in favor of video games she feels alienated and alone.
So, instead of relying on you emotionally for things (which is usually a good place to be) she is going to rely on her guy friend, Bob, for that.
While I don’t think this fellow has an alcohol addiction I do know one thing, he drank too much. The sad part is, is that because of her feelings she doesn’t feel strong enough to walk away from the situation.
Well, I read in an article that the woman who asked the question above was not only treated horribly but she was beaten so bad that she actually had to go to the hospital. Thankfully, her boyfriend who did it to her was arrested but the lesson to take from it here is that he came home in a drunken rage one Saturday and that is when all hell broke loose. I mean, I am sure someone snorting cocaine or doing crystal meth is going to have a lot more problems than someone who smokes but to me I put smoking on the same level. Anyways, I live in an apartment on the first floor and there is a couple that lives above me who I swear are chain smokers. I imagine this is how most girlfriends feel about their boyfriends smoking or drug addictions that they don’t approve of.
I talk to a lot of men and women every day and I have heard a lot of sob stories when it comes to drugs and cigarettes. The funny thing I have noticed about these stories is that they always end up in one of two ways. If you have a drug problem or smoking problem and your girlfriend is constantly arguing with you over it then that means that instead of adding positive experiences into the relationship bank you are constantly adding negative ones. Now, the last time I looked the most healthy relationships out there didn’t consist of two people constantly arguing over an addiction.
Lets stick with our breaking bad theme and say that this girls boyfriend is addicted to crystal meth. Well, if this girl gets hooked on crystal meth then that is going to create a whole new set of problems. Unfortunately, many couples won’t get that time because they are going to be forced to go to work.
How often have you heard that couples break up because they couldn’t see each other enough? Heck, I even know what it feels like to want that alone time with your partner but have her not be in a position to give it to you because of the constraints of work.
I personally think it is important for both members of the relationship to carve out some time for each other no matter what because in the end if you can’t find that alone time someone is going to start to resent it.
Imagine that you are a workaholic (you have insane hours) and your girlfriend is a stay at home mom.
You are gone all day long and when she does see you it’s only for a maximum of an hour and in that hour you are so tired that you are kind of standoffish towards her.
Now, I am assuming that since you have read this far down on the page the demise of your relationship came as a direct result of some type of addiction.
If you want to successfully win your ex girlfriend back then you are going to have to find a way to get rid of your addiction.
What I am going to do now is give you a game plan that you can follow to kick each one of the addictions I discussed above. If you are familiar with my website or my E-Book then you would know that the no contact rule is a vital part of the strategy to get your ex girlfriend book. Of course, when you deal with exes the one commonality from situation to situation is the fact that no two situations are aliek. So, how are you supposed to use the no contact rule if your ex girlfriend broke up with you due to an addiction that you have? Of course, instead of spending all of your no contact rule obsessing about your ex girlfriend you really need to be focusing on yourself more than ever. You really don’t have a shot of getting your ex girlfriend back if you still have your addiction to drugs or cigarettes or video games. By ignoring your ex through the no contact rule you are going to be essentially killing two birds with one stone. Second Bird- You are going to be getting valuable time to work on rehabbing your addiction. Of course, certain addictions are going to require different types of rehabilitation methods.
Lets take a look at the differences in rehabilitation that you will have from addiction to addiction. I mean, the last time I checked there wasn’t a VGA (video games anonymous) group for you to attend.
Remember at the beginning of this article I talked about my own little mini addiction with World of Warcraft (just reference the south park picture above if you need reminding.) Well, the way that I kicked World of Warcraft was I literally had to throw it out. Being an alcoholic is a very serious matter and you should seek professional help immediately. This is a tougher one because it’s not like you can just quit your job especially if you are relying on that job to pay your rent. What I would say is that when you do get your ex girlfriend back (I am thinking positive here) make sure that she is priority number one. Before you can even try any of the tactics to get her back make sure you have defeated your addiction. My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back.
Yesterday we put our son down for a nap and we went walk in the woods and I litterelly made her chaise me threw the woods.
Hello Chris, so… last October I met a girl online (she lives in another state) and we started sending text messages to each other every day, we were getting along great and in a week we started doing Skype video calls.
Of course, as time ticks by you begin to realize just how much she meant to you.  How in love with her you really were. Before you sent that text your hopes were so high, you were daydreaming of your future together with her. So, the question you are probably wondering is how the heck are you supposed to navigate a situation like this where you want your ex girlfriend back but she has moved on to a new boyfriend.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back?
I suppose the best place to start is by taking a look at the potential risks of trying to get an ex with a new boyfriend back. For example, you obviously came to this page because you want your ex girlfriend back and she has a new boyfriend.
Men, by nature, are very protective of their women so I guarantee you that to the new boyfriend you trying to get his girlfriend back is going to paint you in a light where you are an enemy. So, obviously the big risk you run by trying to win your ex girlfriend back in this case is that you could become a common enemy between your ex and her new boyfriend which will ultimately cause them to be closer together.
Being a common enemy between your ex and her new boyfriend is one of the worst positions that you could possibly be in.
If you can be subtle but effective in your intentions to win your ex girlfriend back you will most likely NOT be looked at by your ex as a common enemy. Lets say that you are very subtle in your intentions to get your ex girlfriend back but over time your methods start to work.
Inevitably she is going to talk to the one person who is supposed to support her and understand her no matter what, her boyfriend.
She may not be completely honest with him about what is going on in her mind but she is going to say things to him to try to test him to see if he is ready for the truth. Eventually the truth is going to come out and how do you think the new boyfriend is going to react to discovering that his girlfriend (your ex) is still hung up on you?
In fact, a massive fight or breakup might occur and now you are looking like you are in a really good position.
Again, YOU didn’t physically cause this breakup or fight, your ex did because of her feelings for you. So, I am not going to sit here and tell you that if you follow every little step I outline on this page that your ex girlfriend is going to break up with her current boyfriend and come running back to you. Ok, let me put this in simpler terms so you really have a good grasp at what this page is going to do for you. Imagine for a moment that in every single breakup that occurs between a couple a certain percentage is assigned to it.
You may have noticed that I gave people whose exes have moved on to another man a 20% chance of getting back together. Well, that 20% number is based on you trying to get your girlfriend back without any of my advice. Imagine that you follow the advice on this page and get to a place where your ex girlfriend is confused about her feelings for you and her new boyfriend. Anyways, I think it’s safe to say that your ex girlfriend is going to be comparing her relationship with her new boyfriend to her relationship with you.
If your ex girlfriends new boyfriend does that during their relationship and you didn’t during yours with her then when she is going to make the comparison between you and her new guy she is definitely going to think the new guy is better and that is going to put you at a disadvantage. Because usually a girl who has a better guy isn’t going to leave him to put herself back in a situation where she is treated poorly. One of the biggest assets I can bring to you with this page is my experience in dealing with thousands of couples.
That some of these women want their exes back even after they have done HORRIBLE things to them. For example, there was once a girl that came to my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, who was dating a new guy but wanted her ex back even though he cheated on her six times with six different women.
So, what did this guy (who had done horrible things to her in the past) have that drew her in so much that she wanted to leave her perfectly good boyfriend? At first that was what I thought but the more I talked to her about her particular situation I began to realize that there was something else going on in her head. In other words, even though some women find themselves in a situation where they are clearly better off relationship wise sometimes the appeal of the connection can trump everything. For example, if your ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend that treats her like a queen she may still be more drawn to you because she has a connection with you that the new boyfriend can’t top.
So, if you were to ask me how to get your ex girlfriend back in a situation where she has moved on and her new man treats her well then I would say you would have to hit her where she will be affected most, her romantic feelings for you.
Like I said, a comparison between you and the new guy is eventually going to happen no matter what it just a question of when. Well, lets pretend that your ex girlfriend has been dating her new boyfriend for 2 months exactly. Then that is a very good sign because it means you are winning the comparison battle against her new guy. If your ex girlfriends new boyfriend isn’t treating her the way a woman should be treated in a relationship then she could soon be maneuvering to go back to the thing that makes her feel better than anything, YOU! Believe it or not but your ex girlfriend moving on may actually be a good thing in the long run. For example, if your ex girlfriend breaks up with you and starts dating someone new who treats her really well like we talked about in the comparison section above your exes GIGS is going to be verified and as a result it is going to be much harder to get her back. I want you to be aware that the GIGS exists and could have been a possible reason for the breakup between you and your ex.
The game plan is divided into four major steps and as usual I will be giving you a lot of in-depth insight into each one of these steps.
First though, lets take a look at the steps you will need to successfully complete to even have a chance of getting your girlfriend back.
I have been doing this for quite some time and I have seen firsthand how hard it is for some men to stay in NC when they see their woman with another man. If you could compare a relationship to a fire a woman would expect the man to start that fire. One of the greatest fears for men who enter into the NC rule during this situation is that their exes are going to get so close to their new man that they will completely forget about their old one.
Ok, imagine if you completed your no contact rule and called your ex and begged for her back.
I know that may sound a little controlling or possessive but the truth is I honestly don’t care at this point.
I know that may sound weird and counterproductive but if you really think about it, it’s not.
Like I said above, it is very rare for a man to be ok with the fact that his girlfriend or wife is good friends with her ex. In other words, you becoming friends with your ex is going to cause your exes new man to go absolutely ballistic when he finds out that she is talking to you and this is what you want. Providing emotional support for your ex girlfriend (when you become friends) is really where you are going to shine.
If she can’t get the emotional support she needs from her own boyfriend but from you then when she makes that inevitable comparison between you and the new guy she is going to take that into account. A big mistake I see a lot of men making is the fact that they jump into the deep end instead of wading into the shallow one when it comes to building attraction.
Ok, lets say that you are trying to get your ex girlfriend back and she has just gotten a new boyfriend.
I am a fan of a subtle build up with text messages which eventually lead to phone calls which eventually lead to a face to face meeting.
Using the guide in the link above you should be able to properly build attraction with the build up technique.
So, don’t take it personally if your ex declines your offer to meet up for a hang out. Because a woman who is truly in love with a man wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that relationship. Luckily for you, if she accepts your offer for a casual hang out, it means that she doesn’t care enough about her current boyfriends feelings to not hang out with you.
My question is do i give her a hundred percent NC with the possibility she will think i have moved on and confirm the thought of me being only jealous. In just a moment, I’m going to show you how to get your ex girlfriend back… so buckle up, because there’s a lot to cover. If you recently split up with your girlfriend then you’re probably hurting REAL bad right now. I know the pain you’re going through right now and I know that it won’t stop for a LOOOOONG time. Sure you can carry on with your life… bang a few new girls at a party, go out with your friends and try to forget about the girl you lost. OR you can use proven techniques that thousands of guys are using right now to get their girlfriend back fast.
There are a few areas of “getting your ex girlfriend back” which I want to cover, so by all means skip to the section that makes most sense to your current situation.
It’s been a few days, weeks, maybe even a month and the wound is still raw… now what do you do? Understand why she left you – The first step is to understand why she dumped you in the first place dude!
Leave it at least 2 weeks – Don’t be needy or act desperate, it’s not going to help you.
Get back in touch – After a couple of weeks, get in touch either with a text or a Facebook message.
Keep it casual – Always meet up with her in the day for lunch or coffee so it’s casual, like you’re meeting a friend. Go in for the kill – After several casual meetups, invite her along on a night out with your friends or say to her that you’re going to be somewhere and she should come along.
The key to remember here is that you’re laying down the important groundwork with the casual meetups. Pimp up your Facebook profile – Your Facebook page is a constant message that your closest friends and acquaintances are reading. Get in touch – Go back to “situation 1” and follow all the steps from “Get back in touch”. Right then, you haven’t spoken to her in months, you know that she doesn’t have a boyfriend and you’re still kicking yourself about the breakup. Write to her – The very first thing you need to do is write to her, Facebook, email even a freakin hand written letter dude.
Rinse and repeat – Follow everything from the first and second situation, until she takes you back. There are a few ground rules you MUST follow that I haven’t mentioned yet, they are solid mindset tips that will help you get her back (trust me they work).
Be persistent – Think alpha male who knows what he wants, not a pathetic needy loser who’s begging for attention. Embrace change – Show her that you’re willing to be a better you by changing your ways. Don’t sulk – The moment you accept your defeat, is the moment you will never get her back, so stay positive and know that you’re going to get her back in time.
So as I said earlier, I used Text Your Ex Back which really helped me get my girlfriend back. But I did try a another product that I think is seriously worth mentioning because I picked up some killer tips from it. I got some really great tips from this guide, if I hadn’t have gone through the other two then I would have just used this one but it would have taken me a while longer to get her back.
Then you’re not doing the steps correctly or you’re still portraying the same crappy qualities that she dumped you for in the first place.
So there you have it, this is without a doubt the best advice you will get on understanding how to get your ex girlfriend back in the fastest way possible. My girlfriend and I broke up a month and a half ago, we were talking frequently until 3 weeks ago when she moved to Portland, OR (we lived in California together). Hay, I broke up with my girl like for 2 years now, but it’s all coming back to me, it was my fault, I physically assaulted her. Im a lesbian and was with this girl for four years going 5 on july.she ask space for 3months no communication,no seeing each other so I gave her space but i broke my promise not to call,text and see her.
I had already been arguing with my girlfriend for awhile, I had been sick and on alot of medication one night when she called and tho has got heated. I have been in a releshp wth my ex grlfrend for 4yrs she was my school sweethert we came from far she loved meh soo much we did everythng toghet na untll she had a crush on some guybt she found out the guy is in arelshp wth anther person she came back to meh cryng i accpted her back bt then after a mnth se change start sayng we break up bt then she apologies back for her word iknw ehe was up2 smthng i broke up wth her she didnt even say why or sory she said alryt naw its been 3weeksi tryed callng her bt she nat intrested shes is sayng she want to be single an forcus… so do you think she is a relshp wth smeone else i need advice shoild i just move on? I recently lost, my girl it was my fault I got hooked up in internet adiction, porn sites and dating sites, she read my corespondance to the other women and even contacted them to see if we had met up. I know that is a very strange way to start a page entitled “how to get your ex girlfriend back” but the truth of the matter is that you are going to fail.
Lets be honest here, if you are desperate enough to type “how do I get my ex girlfriend back” into Google then you definitely need help.
I promise you that this page is going to blow you away with it’s insight and actionable steps. I promise that if you follow the advice on this page then your chances of getting your ex back will increase.
However, if you do everything on this page then hopefully it will be her who begs to be back with you. Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO, a step by step guide on getting your girlfriend back will literally walk you through the entire process of getting your girlfriend back.
I put a lot of work into this page (half a year to be exact.) Yup, I have been planning on helping men get their exes back for over half a year. Throughout that half year I have been slowly compiling information to include in this massive guide.
Oh, and before we really get started I just want to let you know that this guide is going to be very long. As you will learn in Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO life can generally be divided up into three different categories. The point is that if this area of your life is out of balance most women won’t find you attractive. The point of the experiment is to see how much a job title or having a certain “status” matters to women. The actual experiment then took place on the street where random women were surveyed and asked to rate the men in the pictures.
The experimenters took the man who was rated as the worst looking “in the lab” and assigned him a high power job and a very high yearly salary. I guess the point of me telling you this is that all three of these areas of your life intersect with each other. I can’t say this is will be the case for every single person reading this guide but usually if a breakup occurs between you and your ex it can put these three major areas in your life in turmoil. For example, if your ex girlfriend breaks up with you then that means the “love life” aspect of your life has just taken a hit. As you can see, the first step to getting your ex girlfriend back is to sit up and realize that these three areas need to be restored to their former glory.
One of the biggest mistakes that I see men make when trying to win back their ex girlfriend is that they don’t know when enough is enough. Nothing screams insecure more to a girl than seeing a guy blow her phone up with 10 missed calls. So, what is the type of neediness that women like and what is the type of neediness that they don’t like? Imagine for a moment that during your relationship with your ex girlfriend you were always very nervous about her talking to other men. While I suppose this can be classified as jealousy and not neediness it highlights the insecurity I am trying to capture here. Insecurity and neediness isn’t going to be a winning formula for winning back your ex girlfriend. One of the most important aspects to getting your ex girlfriend back is becoming the alpha male (more on that later.) For now, what I would like to focus our attention on are the qualities that you need to obtain in order to become an alpha male. Remember, we are talking about your ex girlfriend here so at one point you were considered an alpha male to her (because lets be honest all women want to date the alpha male.) However, now that the two of you broke up you lost your standing as the alpha male and it is up to you to regain it. Well, I think the best way to do that is to work backwards and look at how almost every single woman in the world chooses a man. Below I have listed all of the qualities that women consider when choosing a potential mate. If I were to put you and Brad Pitt up against a wall and have your ex girlfriend choose someone based on looks solely something tells me that you wouldn’t be chosen.
The point I am trying to make here is that women are more than happy to date someone who isn’t as good looking as them as long as they can bring other good qualities to the table.
About a year ago I went out to lunch with a few friends (3 girls to be exact.) Of course, when you are the only guy among girls the conversation eventually turns to dating.
So, trust me when I say that while looks matter they don’t matter as much as you would believe.
But the thing I really want to talk about with this quality is the fact that just because you are tall it doesn’t mean that you are guaranteed to get your ex girlfriend back. It is going to take a lot more than good looks to re-flip the attraction switches within your ex girlfriend and therein lies the dilemma for good looking and tall men.
I have a pretty good looking friend (who also happens to be tall.) Every time I used to go to the bar with him I was amazed at the amount of women that hit on him. I watched him pick up women left and right and I still couldn’t figure out what he was doing. The point of his response was that every time he walked into a room it was like all the women stopped and stared. So, if you are tall or good looking my point here is that you can’t assume that those aspects alone will be enough to get a girl back. There isn’t much more to say about the “health” quality so lets move on to the hygiene one.
Look, the only two people that can pull off a full grown beard are Santa Claus and The Most Interesting Man In The World. Since I know for a fact that you are not either of those men you might need to rethink your gandalf beard. In other words, it needs to be obvious that you take care of yourself and are well groomed. Something tells me that if this version of the best looking man in the world walked into a bar he would not have the same effect on women.
If you are able to get a woman to lower her guard and let you in then you have accomplished one of the hardest tasks in the world. Of course, we are dealing with your ex girlfriend here so while you may have at one point gotten her comfortable with you the fact that you are no longer dating her probably causes her to leave her guard up.
Would you like to know the approach that almost all successful ex recovery people take to getting their exes back?
If your entire world right now revolves around your ex girlfriend then you probably aren’t going to do well when it comes to getting her back.
I mean, an argument can be made that someone who is hyper targeted on an ex can devote more time and attention to her and yield more successful results. If you are on the edge of your seat for every text, response or call then you aren’t going to do well because you don’t want to rush this thing.
Before I get into anything too serious lets take a moment and go over what a no contact rule is.


When I first started to research NC (no contact) I compiled all of my research and discovered the length of time that many of the experts agreed was ideal, 30 days. Now, I run a fairly large website (Ex Boyfriend Recovery) and have literally seen people go through the no contact rule thousands of times. So, what I have done is compiled a list of guidelines that you should follow when you implement your own no contact rule. The thing you have to remember is that NC is only effective if you let a good amount of time pass.
You see, one of the biggest risks of doing no contact is the fact that if you let it go on for too long it will make your attempt to get your ex girlfriend back harder than it needs to be. If you were to ask me personally which one of these three no contact time periods I would choose I would definitely say the 30 day rule is the best one. Just because she believes that it doesn’t mean that the no contact rule isn’t working it just means you are going to have to extend the NC rule a bit to amp up its affect on her.
45 days is the highest amount of period that I would recommend going on a stubborn woman who doesn’t contact you during the NC rule.
There are a few more things about no contact that I feel we need to discuss before we can move on. For example, you can’t talk to your ex at all about your previous relationship or where things stand right now. In the rare event that you live with your ex girlfriend you can’t really do no contact without seem like a total D-Bag.
Too often do I see ex couples get in shouting matches where someone yells something unforgivable and then a lamp gets thrown. In this section I am going to teach you exactly what you need to do during the no contact period to give yourself the best chance to succeed in getting your ex girlfriend back. For a more extensive look at what you need to be doing during NC take a look at Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.
Right off the bat probably the best advice I can give you is that the reason most people fail at getting an ex back is because they are flat out lazy. I think probably the best way to start this is to talk about the importance of working during the no contact rule. Whichever no contact rule you choose to do I feel it is really important for me to mention that this is not a vacation and this isn’t going to be easy. In fact, you are going to be tempted so many times to contact your ex that at times you will probably get depressed but whatever happens DO NOT DO IT! Another thing that really annoys me about you guys (yes I am talking to you) is that you think this no contact period alone will be enough to get your ex girlfriend back. I know no matter what I say here some men will read this and go right into no contact rule. So, the big revelation I want you to take from this section is the fact that I am going to put you to work during your no contact rule but I promise it will pay off in the end BIG TIME! Those sections are crucial because what you are going to be doing during the no contact rule is going to tie directly into them. For example, the “hygiene” alpha male quality ties directly into the “health” area of life. Don’t worry, I am going to hold your hand like a toddler throughout the entire process so lets get started.
I have given advice out to men before where I told them to “use the no contact rule to improve.” Well, they automatically assumed that I meant they weren’t good looking enough and ripped me a new one. The thing I want to point out here is that you don’t need to be Brad Pitt to get your ex girlfriend back. This girl was willing to go out with him because his other qualities (whether it be wealth, comfortability or height) were all high enough to trump his looks quality.
Your action item during the no contact rule when it comes to looks is to not get enamored with them. Out of all the sports I have ever watched in my life I think that mixed martial arts has to be the most physically demanding.
Sure, football is demanding (and dangerous.) Tennis (which I am very fond of) can be a grind but there is something that UFC has over all of those sports. Not only will your physical appearance improve but working out will do something else incredible for you.
There are going to be a lot of moments during the no contact rule where you are going to struggle. There will be some days that you are going to wake up and your whole body will hunger to call her.
I know it sounds so ridiculous for a guy to be telling a bunch of other guys how they have to look but it’s happening so deal with it. Some Stubble- This is a guy who has a little bit of a beard coming in but not a full blown beard just a little bit of stubble. When I asked my ten “girl” friends which one of these looks they preferred the results were actually pretty interesting. That means if you are planning on coming out with a bearded look after your no contact period that would be a bad idea. Secondly, when I asked the women to expand on why they chose the “stubble” look one thing became clear.
The big takeaway that I want you to get from this is that you have to look like you take care of yourself. What I want for you is that when you finally do see your ex girlfriend in person I want her to be blown away by how good you look. Have you ever noticed that whenever you talk to someone one on one (usually a girl) the two of you can have trouble looking each other in the eye?
What usually happens is you start a conversation with a girl and you take these quick glances at each other throughout the conversation.
From now on whenever you talk to someone (ESPECIALLY other women) I want you to make it your goal to make them completely comfortable. If you can get a girl to be comfortable with you then you have done a very impressive thing because 90% of men out there are idiots who can’t do it.
Well, that can actually be a complicated question and quite frankly I don’t have the time or patience to explain it to you so let me just give you the most important aspect of comfortability.
Now, I get that the only reason you came to my website is because you want your ex girlfriend back. That means there is a pretty good chance that your ex girlfriend will be checking up on you. Firstly, it is going to give you confidence and the ability to practice making a woman comfortable enough to talk to you. Jealousy can be a bad thing but I think in this case, if you go on a HARMLESS date, it can be a good thing. Finally, breakups really hurt and going on a date with someone new will prove to you that you are well liked with women. So far we have gone over what women find attractive and what you need to be doing during the no contact rule.
In other words, this would be the part where you actually attempt to get your girlfriend back.
Don’t worry, we will get into the smaller stuff like what to text her or what to say on the phone but before we do that you need to understand the broader picture. So, if you are only here so you can get laid or to do a quick one night stand with your ex then I am here to tell you to get off of my site. I am writing this to help the MEN out there, not little boys who think they can take advantage of women.
The following method I am about to outline for you will be guaranteed to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex back. Ok, now that we have that out of the way lets look at big picture game plan that you have to implement to get your ex girlfriend back. After your no contact period is up why do you think you text your ex girlfriend as opposed to calling her?
Well, texting is usually viewed as non-threatening and it will also give you one distinct advantage that you won’t have when you call her, the ability to THINK! I am a big fan of texting because you can think through every single word before you hit that “send” button. If you do everything right you should be able to get to a place where you and your ex girlfriend will text more frequently. As you can probably already tell we are slowly baby stepping our way to a phone call and hopefully a date. Your ex girlfriend will respond to escalation and as you can see we are slowly rebuilding it here.
Obviously the next step in this process is to Segway from your texts into talking on the phone.
However, there is a specific way that I want you to do it (to kind of maximize your chances.) Of course, I will get into how to do that a little later.
If you can get a woman to stay on the phone for you for over an hour then you have done something really impressive. In this section I am going to teach you a lot of what you nee dto know to text your ex girlfriend. Now, before I can give you examples of specific text messages to use we have to go over a few of the rules. When you date someone you are pretty much given a free pass to break all of the texting laws that I will outline here. However, since we already know that you are no longer dating your ex there are certain rules that you have to abide by.
About 3 years ago I got invited to tag along on a lunch date after a college class with three women.
Imagine you are texting her and you send your 20 word text message but she responds with a 15 word text message and that trend pretty much continues throughout your conversation. A 2 word response from her suggests that she isn’t as interested in what you are saying as opposed to a 15 word response. A neutral response is basically the type of response where someone responds to you but they don’t seem very invested in the conversation anymore. Maybe they are just really busy and didn’t have the time to compose a well thought out response.
However, in my opinion most women send neutral text messages as a way to test you to see just how much you like them.
Most guys make the mistake of seeing a short text from a girl and automatically assuming that she isn’t interested.
Now, what do I mean when I say that sometimes short neutral text messages can be a sign that she isn’t interested in you.
If every single text message you send is greeted with a neutral response that is probably not a good sign. Ok, most of the time a negative response is illicited by something you have done in the past. Since we are dealing with ex girlfriends here I am going to assume that you are wondering what your ex is thinking rather than the general population of girls because trust me there is a difference between an ex ignoring you and just some girl you are “talking” to. Usually when an ex girlfriend ignores you it means that she is upset with you over something. Eventually you do want to fight for her forgiveness but you want her to respond to you right?
Well, because when you do fight for her she is going to be overcome with some serious positive emotions and those emotions will cause her to respond to your texts. Now that you kind of know the rules behind texting lets talk about what you need to do to build attraction. When you look to build attraction with a girl when it comes to texting you can’t immediately come out of the gates and send some super emotional text message. Women love to be romanced and romancing a woman the proper way takes time, effort and a bit of strategy. I am going to go over exactly how you can properly “romance” your ex girlfriend after the no contact period. First things first though, what do you think your ultimate goal is when it comes to text messaging? How do you think you are supposed to approach the first text message after the no contact period has concluded? Firstly, I want you to notice how the initial start of the text, the “I saw “Psych” and thought of you” was very interesting. When it comes to attracting an ex girlfriend through text messaging there are really only two memories that matter.
Obviously this section is going to be focusing on the general memories that you can use in your favor to get your ex girlfriend back. Now, this negative outcome could have been avoided if you had primed or tested to see if your ex was ready to dive into more emotional things. The key is to use POSITIVE memories that the two of you had together that aren’t very emotional. The idea here is to use the positive memory of the hike to sort of get her to associate those positive feelings she gets when she thinks about it with you. Let’s say that hypothetically you pull off the general memory text and get a lot of positive responses. Emotional memories are really where you are going to make most of the headway on getting your ex girlfriend back. The entire time I talked to her she kept telling me how she wasn’t emotional at all and how she always based her decisions on logic and like an idiot I took the bait.
Yes, sex is a HUGE part of a relationship but how do you think it’s going to go over with your ex if she thinks you just want to become friends with benefits with her? An ex girlfriend of mine always used to tell me how much she appreciated me sending her a sweet text in the morning. Too many guys wuss out on opening up to girls and it’s a shame because often times the greatest rewards comes from doing the things that scare us the most. For one, if you call her when she isn’t “ready” to talk to you it can kind of hurt your ego to not have her pick up. Instead, I am going to teach you the PERFECT way to transition from a text to a phone call so listen up.
Lets pretend that the two of you are texting each other and you are having a really good conversation together. Now, obviously you are going to have to figure out an interesting little anecdote to share with her but that is easy and it doesn’t have to be anything big. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that talking on the phone is very different than texting. In this section I would like to make you aware of a few of the guidelines that you should follow when you do finally take that step to talking on the phone with your ex girlfriend.
I think the best way to start this off is by talking about something I feel a lot of men fail to realize about women on the phone.
You see, most men fail to realize that women are listening VERY CLOSELY to every little thing that they say on the phone.
Every time you talk on the phone with someone you really like there are going to be awkward silences where neither person can think of something to say. Now, too much awkward silence is never a good thing because nothing can get done if no one is saying anything so this section is all about how to deal with the awkward silence. The smartest thing you can do is to come up with a list of things to talk about so you always have something to say to fill in the gaps.
I am not saying you have to write down the entire conversation you plan on having on a piece of paper but I am saying to write down a few things on a “cheat sheet” so you can glance over a list of ideas to talk about when the awkward silences set in. For example, lets pretend that you and your ex girlfriend start talking on the phone and you encounter an awkward silence. Without a doubt the hardest thing to do when it comes to talking on the phone is ending a conversation when you are really enjoying it. While it is an amazing feeling to get caught up in the moment it can also make saying goodbye extremely difficult. Most people will tell you that the “snooze button” example I gave above is a very good thing when it comes to building or in your case rebuilding a relationship. Well, one of the negatives of carrying on a conversation for that amount of time is that you don’t leave a person wanting more. Secondly, you will leave her wanting more and that feeling will cause her to text you, call you and even raise your chances of seeing her in person. The main purpose of everything on this page is to help improve your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back. Women often have this internal tally of points in their head when they are determining whether or not to go on a date with a guy.
The point is that if you build up enough of these positive points (and avoid the negative ones) you should be able to get a date. The bad news is that no matter what a breakup is going to hurt your chances of going on a date again. You can do this through building positive rapport with her through text messages or on the phone. Why do they reject guys who are too nice and what should you do instead to avoid being rejected? For example, if I notice a type of comment that is continually getting asked then I know that a lot of people are having that issue and I will write an article about it.
Men from all walks of life come to me in search of advice on how to win the love of their life back. In fact, he was playing so much that to his own admission he was starting to damage his relationship with his girlfriend. For example, if you and your ex girlfriend constantly fought about your problems with addiction of some sort then I am willing to bet that your addiction probably factored into her decision to leave you. However, don’t think you are above addiction if you have the smaller ones like video games, shopping or working too much. Now, while maybe there is a negative aspect with the loss of time it takes to excercise there is also a positive effect that working out has on your body.
In other words, did you addiction in some way, shape or form contribute to your break with your ex girlfriend?
You see, what ends up happening is that they end up playing video games so much that they completely neglect their girlfriends.
Oh, and I guess I should mention that this is the fifth day in a row that this exact thing has happened. Someone who has a video game addiction has put an emphasis on alone time and is completely ignoring together time.
I think it is totally nasty and it makes no sense to me as to why you would want to do something that has proven to end your life quicker but we are getting a little off topic here. In fact, they smoke so much that at times I can smell their nasty secondhand smoke in my apartment and it drives me nuts.
For example, both of them are going to have a meth habit and probably run through their savings to feed it. For example, if your ex girlfriend broke up with you because you neglected her to play video games then she probably broke up with you as a result of your video game addiction.
In other words, how you use the no contact rule in one situation may not necessarily apply to another one.
I know I say that to everyone who uses the no contact really but it is VITALLY important for you. For example, someone who has a drug addiction is going to require more professional help than someone who just plays too many video games.
In order to overcome those negative experiences and get her back you are going to have to overcome your addiction and eliminate it. So my story is this, I was dating this girl and after she fell asleep I asked her cousin if i could drink the rest of the vodka and she said yes. When we spend time together we watch talk about being a family we make plans for vacations with the kids we cook together we cuddle on the couch.
I get a lot of questions every day but rest assured I always try to get back to commentors.
Time has a funny way of making us realize our mistakes and without a doubt letting your ex girlfriend go was a big one.
You figure the easiest way to do this is to send her a non threatening text message to check up on her. Of course, after you sent the text that daydream was shattered and replaced with anger, heartache and jealousy.
Well, what do you think would happen if the new boyfriend caught wind of the fact that you wanted your girl back? Of course, sometimes you will get a boyfriend who can tell when something is off without her even having to say a word. Of course, the situation you currently find yourself in is one of the hardest to experience as your chances for success are slightly lowered. While that is certainly the outcome that you are praying for it isn’t realistic to assume that, that is going to happen 100% of the time. However, with that being said it doesn’t hurt to have an expert on your side (me) who has seen so many situations and put so many relationships back together that he can drastically increase your chances of succeeding in almost any situation.
Now, most of you who are in that situation are going to see that number and immediately freak out because it’s pretty darn low. Well, all of a sudden that 20% chance of success is bumped up to 50% because you know eventually she is going to have to choose between you and her new boyfriend. I am talking about someone who provides emotional support, someone who listens and tries not to judge, someone who truly cares about her and she realizes it. You see, I have a sister site to this one called, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, where I have helped thousands of women. You will need to find a way to get her to tap into those feelings for you and when she does that is going to dramatically increase your chances of having her run back to you.
Humans in general are drawn to things that make them feel good and flee from things that make them feel bad.
If your ex broke up with you because she thought she could do better and discovers that she can’t then all of a sudden she is going to be scrambling to get YOUR approval.
Well, if you find yourself in a situation where you are trying to get a girlfriend back who has a new boyfriend you may find that waiting 45 days in no contact is too long. While I am not a fan of becoming overbearing or annoying but I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing very subtle things to remind your ex that you are out there.
Perhaps I am a bit jaded because I have seen so much with regards to exes and I know that any time that exes are friends it usually doesn’t work out. If you can get her to open up to you and trust you enough to let you in then I guarantee that you are going to come out looking like a star. When I talk about providing emotional support I am not talking about helping her with her own relationship. Of course, in order to do that successfully you have to create this build up to gain the attraction momentum that you need.
It just means that she is being a good girlfriend to her boyfriend and she shouldn’t be punished for that. If she says she wants to get back yes, but other than that, if it’s just a casual hi, nope.
During this time i tried a few times to get back together, but never really putting much effort.
I try to give her space recently because the prom is coming up and he asked her but i keep getting told everything thats happening with them and i gave after a few days of not talking and text her. Basically, I was quite aloof in any relationship, – you could say defensive, so I dont get hurt and a relationship adds on to my life and not be my life in total. I just want to make it clear, the other guys started texting her while you remained texting even after you called off the engagement right? She started with asking for a piece of clothing and I said that I would look for it (in our final phone call a few days ago, she said to throw away all her things). Either she loves you both and she prefers to stay with the current because she feels more secured with him..
You feel sick to your stomach, with no energy, you can’t be bothered to see anyone and you just want to be left alone.
Let’s say that you broke up, it’s been a few months, maybe even a year and you’ve heard through friends that she’s got a boyfriend (perhaps you even saw it on Facebook which would really suck). Get some new threads, workout at the gym (get the body most women want), eat right and drum some positive thoughts into your head.
It’s crucial that they see the guy you want to be seen as… which is a confident, independent, happy and outgoing guy.
It’s vital that you find out why she hates you… because this will help you to build a solid action plan. Apologise for what you did wrong and say to her that you respect her wishes, also that you truly wish that she finds a guy that will make her happy. If you did, then that’s awesome, keep the communication flowing and suggest meeting up for a coffee because you want to stay friends with her.
It took me exactly 4 weeks, but I have a friend who used the same techniques and it took him 7 months. He started stalking and harrassing me, and would harrass any guy I dated.I told him never to speak to me again, but he still tried to get me back, was watching and following me in person and on line ,so I called the police and filed a report, and later filed a no contact order. We broke up because she got jealous about other women who were giving me attention, and i lied about one of these girls at a party and i just got too comfortable and didn’t show interest. My gf mentioned to break up due to another man and no more feeling with me, I’ve stopped this action taken as I can’t take it!
In the mean time go and get your self together work out hang with friends and make your self happy.
You are her comfort zone you know each other so she is just there with you after what she thinks is good is not. The next day I saw she had took us off of a relationship on Facebook and I lost it, I gave her my password and she out of current mistrust searched through my emails. Express your self about what was the underlying problem with the situation between you both. On the contrary, if you play your cards right then you can drastically improve your chances of winning her back.
Take it from someone who has helped over 20,000 women with their exes (see my sister site Ex Boyfriend Recovery) that this desperation you are feeling is not helping you, it’s hurting you.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back?
I know that sounds a little insane but I am actually a pretty busy guy so it was all really a matter of finding the time to finally put this project in motion.
I remember I once got so upset about a girl that I sat alone in my room for about an hour just staring into space wondering if I was destined to be alone. If I were to put you side by side by a man who doesn’t smoke and is not obese and gave a very beautiful woman the choice between the two of you which person do you think she will choose?
They took about ten men and got a bunch of women to rate their attractiveness on a 1-10 scale. Suddenly a “4” turned into a “10.” Then the experimenters decided to take the man who was rated as the best looking “in the lab” and assigned him with a bad job and a very low yearly salary.
Now, I am not saying that all you need to do to get your ex back is to get a super high paying job. Besides, something tells me that you are going to have a lot more confidence walking into a room if you were making six figures a year as opposed to something lower.
I am going to do my best to list all of the behaviors that you need to avoid if you want to have the best chance of getting your ex girlfriend back. If you have committed any of the “sins” I am about here this doesn’t mean that you have no chance of getting her back.
Well, if you have then you know it can be extremely annoying because no matter where you go this stupid gnat will follow you around. Well, nothing kills that persona more than a guy who constantly texts and leaves himself too available for a woman. Women do like a certain amount of neediness BUT there is a difference between the neediness they like and the neediness and insecurity that you are displaying. So, every time you would catch her texting another guy innocently you would throw this big temper tantrum. However, the main point I want to make here is to not put too much stock into the looks quality. These girls actually all agreed that they preferred men who weren’t as good looking as them. Of course, with me being the jealous person that I was I started studying exactly what he was doing to get these women to flock to him. He didn’t have to try to get girls because from the moment he hit high school (I was friends with him there) all the women flocked to him.
You see, when you have a real relationship with someone it goes far beyond looks and height. In fact, one of the many reasons a girl may have broke up with you is because you stopped taking care of yourself. What I am trying to tell you is that if you can just get fit looking as opposed to fat looking it is going to help you so much in your quest to get your ex girlfriend back. Now, this guy is so good looking that all he has to do is walk in and sit down and women immediately swoon.
His clothes smell, they are covered in dirt and it literally looks like he lives under a bridge. So, if you can make a woman completely comfortable with you then she is more likely to let you in. Every single text, word or action that, that person takes is dissected and it can literally drive you nuts. The premise is actually very simple and yet with that simplicity in mind it is probably one of the hardest things to successfully get through. Anyone can ignore someone for a day but it can have an entirely different effect if you were to ignore someone for a month. The idea is to time no contact perfectly so that they are literally hungering for you to message them.
That doesn’t mean that they aren’t feeling it inside it just means that they are doing a good job of hiding it on the outside. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t care it just means that she is really set on this idea that the guy is the one that has to make contact first.


However, you are allowed to talk to them about who picks up the kids from school or things like that. Sure, your heart may be broken on the inside but when you are in a room with your ex I want you to hold your head high.
Look, I can’t guarantee that you are going to succeed at this but I can guarantee that if you work hard you are going to make positive progress and that is probably more than you can say right now. Of course, the big mistake that they make is the fact that consider the no contact rule to be a vacation and they won’t do anything during it. Every single one of the alpha male qualities will tie directly into one of the three areas of life that you need to succeed.
The main goal here is self improvement and the best way you can do that is to fulfill the potential of all your alpha male qualities.
I was walking around the mall the other day and I happened to see one of the most beautiful women there walking with a total dork. While some of the qualities are certainly more important than others to women no one quality will be enough to win back your ex girlfriend.
So, when the woman was deciding whether or not to date him she weighed all of these qualities and made her decision. Realize that if you don’t feel you are good looking your other qualities can make up for it. So, instead of being a loser and breaking NC what you can do is use your UFC type of workout as an outlet to let your stress out. The second that you stop looking that way is the second you appear less attractive than you really can be. What I want happening is that when you start a conversation with a person and that person looks into your eyes THEY have to be the first one to look away. Then once you have listened to what she has told you I want you to UNDERSTAND what she has told you. Ahh… now the jealousy is really flowing and she is beginning to revisit those feelings of wanting you back. Let me tell you that the most jealous women I have seen are the ones who spy on their ex boyfriend going out on dates. If your heart is with your ex girlfriend don’t be an idiot and get involved with someone new. In this section we are going to be talking about everything that goes on after the no contact period. However, before I can start getting into specific steps I feel it is important to lay out the “big picture game plan” for you first. I can’t guarantee it will work 100% of the time but this is by far the most effective method I have ever seen and you are about to get it for free! In other words, the only men I want reading this are the ones that are very serious about establishing a long lasting relationship with their ex if they can get them back. Of course, the trick when it comes to texting is getting her to respond but more on that later. The texting rebuilt some attraction but now it is time to use the phone to really kick things up a notch. By the time the date ends if she is left with this feeling of happiness and excitement then you really did your job and you are well on your way to getting her back.
In order to get your ex girlfriend back I want you to understand each of these outcomes and what they mean. Ultimately, getting happy responses like these when you text your ex girlfriend is the goal. However, the truth is that it is impossible to get a positive response every single time you text someone. While that may be the case (as I am about to explain) it could also be that she is using it as a way to test you to see just how interested you are in her.
Since we are dealing with ex girlfriends here you are going to be much more prone to this type of a response. To me, if you handle negative responses with dignity and class you come out so much better in the end. That means for a certain segment of time in her life she probably obsessed about you every single day.
In other words, your main goal here is not to get a date but rather to just simply talk on the phone with your ex. Rather than going for it all I would actually recommend that you make the entire interaction very brief and end the conversation first. Your goal here is to come up with a text message that is so interesting that it will be impossible for her to not respond to it.
Why do you think I chose to talk about general memories as opposed to emotional memories first?
However, instead of following any of my advice you come right out and start getting down to the “emotional” stuff. Well, the positive responses are an indicator that she is primed to jump into more emotional stuff right? The smarter play would be to end the conversation on a high note and get to the emotional stuff another day.
At the time, I considered her to be the most intelligent woman I had ever met before and at the time (she isn’t anymore) she definitely was.
So, it only makes sense that one of the best ways to get your ex girlfriend back will be to tap into her emotions and you are going to do this three ways. The next way is going to be over the phone (which I will talk about in a minute) and the last way is obviously going to be in person.
Now, girls are talkative so chances are high she would have let you known when you did something that meant A LOT to her.
Somewhere in the middle of this interaction you find yourself thinking that the two of you are talking a lot.
Rather than sitting for a minute wracking your brain for something to talk about you could glance at your cheat sheet and know immediately. Pretty soon, you look up and see an hour or two has passed and you don’t know where the time went as you were just enjoying the company of someone else.
Now, most women aren’t even aware of this because it all happens so fast in their own minds.
Usually bad things are said during a breakup that can hurt any “positive points” you may have build up for a date. Of course, like I said, a few days ago I did a scan of this sites comments just to get a general idea with what you guys were struggling with and the thing that stuck out to me were addiction comments. While I have never taken any drugs and the only time I really drink is socially I do have a problem with playing certain video games from time to time. I mean, we have all heard the stories where a guy gets too drunk and smacks around his girlfriend.
Oh, and if they have a kid together then that means that this kid is totally going to be ignored in favor of some silly addiction.
Unfortunately, living in this world costs money and in order to make that money we have to work. I have found the reading on your site very interesting and would like your thoughts and suggestions on how to get my ex back.
I was the only one that drank off it that night and after a few pulls I went out side and drank the rest. I have ben studying most of your posts on how to get me ex back and I need your advice sir.
I mean I can go on and on I feel like were still together and when we look each other in the eyes is when the magic really happens. You see, on the one hand she has strong feelings for you and on the other hand she has strong feelings for her current boyfriend.
Obviously we are hoping that the new boyfriend is treating her horribly so you look like a prince but lets just say that, that doesn’t happen. I think it’s safe to say that I have heard just about every single story there is when it comes to breakups.
Besides, men often have to be the hunters when it comes to relationships so that means that we have to do all the work to get the relationship started or re-started in your case. You have done a shortened NC rule, you have worked on re-establishing your friendship with your ex.
What I want to do now is to show you how you should go about creating this perfect build up.
Keep building the attraction until she chooses to leave her current man in favor of the better option, you.
Back in December, 2011, I convinced this friend of mine to be my girlfriend, and then the next day, I got too nervous and chickened out of the relationship. I was trying to give her space to figure out her feelings for herself but instead she got the impression that i wanted nothing to do with her.
She also said she would not date him but i can tell that she has fallen for him probably because of my pushing. But, there this girl happened and she swooped me, demanded I give her more attention, and infact I did like someone bothering me much and making me show the love. Something like “Hey, so I got the job… (yay for me) starting in a week” fancy a celebratory coffee? This means you need to upload pictures of you partying with other pretty girls, smiling, traveling, doing things that you NEVER did whilst in your relationship with your ex. Well then after we broke up i made out with one of the girls and i told her about it and it devestated her. She she leave it becaue she thinks she found the one to replace you then she finds out the grass is not greener on the other side so she comes back. She took a light hearted conversation to be factual and believes that I am a cheater and our relationship was over a long time ago.
Ultimately the final decision on whether or not you two should be a couple again lies with her. It was designed to be this way because I don’t want to leave anything out and this is a very complex subject. The man who was originally an “8” suddenly turned into a “4” just because of this low job title.
If you were to rank really highly in the rest of the qualities in this section your looks wouldn’t really matter as much to women. To add on to that you are also not allowed to reach out to your ex at all during the no contact rule. While this is kind of good because it means that they still care for you deep down we also don’t want them to suffer.
This is essentially the same exact thing as no contact except you are allowed to break the NC for conversations that are only about your kids. You are going to have to do more (which I will be covering.) Think of the no contact rule as the first big stepping stone to success.
Oh, and I am not talking about that fake understanding stuff where you really didn’t listen but you just nodded your head every once in a while. Right now you are single and rather than sitting around the house and moping around I want you to take the opposite approach. Not only are you going to hurt your ex girlfriend by moving on so fast but you are going to hurt the new girl you date because your heart really isn’t with her.
Women have enough problems with men in the world and I have no intention of adding on to them. This means that she formed an emotional attachment to you and she does care about what you think. Remember, this entire process isn’t meant to be completed over the course of a day but rather the course of weeks or months.
This causes a snowball effect that eventually leads to a fight and you are right back at square one. However, what if I told you that there was a surefire way to leave your ex girlfriend wanting more. Maybe the two of you talked about something that was funny or emotional and both of you reacted very well to it.
Now, I know I have readers from all over the world on this site and the amount of time at which people work varies from country to country. By the time you get home you are so tired the only thing you really want to do is eat and sleep. We have been together for 2 yrs we connected on the first day we met and from then we are together most of the time but not living with each other.We have never had an argument or a fight and we both get on great. She asked me last night if it was wrong for us to kiss I told her yes bc she had a boy friend.
Let’s go to the worse case scenario (for you) where the new boyfriend is treating her incredibly well. If she asks you for relationship advice on him I want you to decline as politely as possible. Eventually the new boyfriend got so upset about this that it has caused a bit of a rift in their relationship. I fear through my attempts to try and talk to her I have made myself a common enemy of both of them, as she has blocked me on all social media (Facebook, instagram, and snapchat). I know i wasn’t the best partner and i made a lot of mistakes but nothing really bad but i know what i have to do if i get a chance. Do i step back and let her see that or do i try to show her the person she feel in love with and hope she comes back?
This month of April, I started showing signs of disinterest while still together, I felt she was so needy and emotional.
She told me how she is finally doing the things she wanted, that she woke up crying this morning because she realized how happy she is now.
There were a couple of bad nights like 2 or 3 during that time but they had to do with drinking. You may push her limits till she is afraid of you or hates the very thought of you.If you are a good man, she will miss you and call you. I made a lot of mistakes after the breakup, begging to come back to her, argued a couple times, freaked about her dating.
She is blaming you for cheating because she is not being 100% with you about what she is doing. I just started the no contact phase and am giving her time it’s been 3 days no contact.
It’s still fresh, I have sent her a very brief letter trying to keep an image that I have calmed down now, and apologized once again for how cruel I was, and for even saying the things I had.
The idea is to maximize as many qualities as you can to give yourself the best chance to re-attract your ex. But it was really the confidence and pleasant way of talking with her that she really took note of. We always have something to talk about ,a great sex life maybe a bit more than I could handle sometimes hahaha. I let my addictions get the best of me and that’s why we broke up but now I have controll of my addictions u would do anything to be able to call her mine again. Now, a really good girlfriend wouldn’t see her ex boyfriend out of respect for her new boyfriend.
Fast forward to the beginning of last year, I realized I still loved her, and then in the fall, I asked her to dinner and she said yes.
How do I get her to realize that I truly do need her in my life and get her to start talking to me again and get her back?? I like to believe i have become a better person and know how to treat her now but i think she is scared knowing who she is. I ended breaking up with her again mid month because I did not like that she never put up pictures of us on instagram and facebook. She said she is even going in a trip to new mexico… that got me curious and I asked if it was with her new guy. We’ve hung out like 7 times since the break up and things got pretty affectionate 4 out of the 7 times. I was leaving the state around half year and she had ask me to stay but, I insist to leave due to good opportunity.
I sent her mother a 4 pg front and back letter explaining in order of occurrence everything, assuring I am not a cheater and just everything, I was completely honest, and mature in every way.
I thought thst i could not get over my ex but I am living and making the best of the situation everyday. So, as you can see just calling a girl up and asking her out without any of the romance or build up doesn’t usually work.
Now she has fallen for him and tells me she doesn’t feel the same but sends mix singles when ever i see her. She said it was because she didnt feel we went out a lot and felt I didnt put enough effort. It’s just been a rough past summer for me in general with my grandpa passing away and adjusting to all this change.
One is a love letter and the other is an apology letting her know I accept the breakup and wish her the best. When we were together I was a jerk and didn’t make a big deal about it and it hurt her.
And yes I do have a narcotics addiction which I tried to keep from her but she did find out what I was doing and supringslingly she said I really don’t care what you do because I love you so much. Spend all kinds of time together we still like were still together but she has a boyfriend.
She says the only reason she talks and flirts with me is because she doesn’t want to hurt me and wants to make it easier for me.
Well after I broke up with her, she would text me to make sure we are still single, she also wanted to hangout at one point but I kept neglecting her.
She also asked me, how was it that I saw her new pictures of her new guy on social media when she made sure she took me off (but no blocking). But she stood by my side all the way up untill I got out than she broke up with me over the phone when I called her. I do love the girl and I’m attempting to get her back by going to her school which is an hour away and serenading her wih a guitar right on campus haha. So now what Idk is should I text her the night before and say something about it like goodluck don’t be nervo use it’ll be okay, just good luck or nothing at all? It came to my knowledge after all this she has a bad past with alcohol and iam not quite sure how to proceed.
When we are apart everything reminds me of her I can’t even listen to the radio without hearing a song that makes me want to hold her in my arms. She texted me a few days later and asked if I was mad at her and I responded with a simple no.
Once i heard my friend was going for her i decided i couldn’t wait anymore and did just about everything wrong.
Both were in love and we had to call it off since it wasn’t a practical choice for us. I wanted to make her miss me and want me, and get back together and start putting me up on social media.
That way, let’s hope she misses you, and sees the change and starts to take a chance when you get to talking again.
We’ve broken up before about 2 years ago and I did the same thing just outside of her house. But about 2 months ago I had a lot pressure to deal with ,my business which was failing I had no option but to wind the business up so it was consuming a lot of my time and energy and also I was having dramas with my own teenage kids from my first marriage all at the same time. I really want to ask her one more time to reconsider before she gets too serious with the new guy.
We did take the call, but then we still kept in touch and we were looking for other opportunities simultaneously, but we still knew where our hearts were. Now I know what was causing me to drink a lot had to do with the fact I was somewhat insecure because I had a devistating break up summer of 2013 with the woman who I thought was my soulmate and it took me a year and some change to get over her. She keep saying no more feeling with girl, what can I do to get her back again coz I too love her. Deanne and I would still see each other every night but I wasn’t showing her the affection I used to and my sex drive was fading away because of the pressures I was under and I neglected her and I am so sorry I did. I did spend many weeks trying to figure out whether it was jealousy or if my feelings were real. The funny thing is that she still asked why I deleted her on facebook and instagram a day later. I gave her the apology about everything that happened that was said and that I wish her well.
She has me blocked on facebook and snapchat, yet we still keep in touch through text and phone calls and shes friends with my mom on facebook still haha. But I thought she would understand and things would improve for me and it was something I was going through and everything would get back to normal soon. Anyway, she tells me she knows its not jealousy but she said in our last conversation that why now. I asked her if she wanted to be friends and she said yes, I decided to only add her on facebook. I said I dont want to hold any grudges towards you and that she is a great person and doesnt deserve that. So while I was locked up I had time to think and I realized how much my new girl meant to me and that I really loved her and was ready to let my gaurd down and give love another chance.
Then last week I was speaking to her on the phone and she sounded from the way she was speaking that there was something wrong I could tell it in her voice I went straight over to her place and she handed me a 2 page letter saying she was leaving me and why . So I dint comment much, but i ensured she made the right choice (not him thought) but you know, continuous talking and sharing stuff will eventually lead you there (this was as well long distance) – Things were fine but then he made a trip to meet her and she infact did like him as well. But seems I was a day late and a dollar short cause after she broke up with me we were still friends on fb and my other ex that I was dating summer of 14 seen I was single again and friend requested me on fb and since my ex broke up with me I accepted. I read her letter and she had written about my addiction that she cant trust because of it . And everything that happened after she didn’t return my feelings happened LONG before I even knew that there was a way to get an ex girlfriend back.
Now I dont get those texts which i used to get annoyed about before like why is she texting me so muchhh ? And she commented on something I posted and my ex seen it and got super upset and sent me a message saying she was done and she just wanted her stuff. And I must say I never let my drug use intervere with the way I behaved when we were together I would never hurt her in anyway and I don’t have violent bone in my body. She did contact me a couple of times during the No Contact period, but I didn’t respond either time.
My biggest problem is i gave her time before and she thought i hated her and says she forced herself to lose her feelings for me. When we had breaks, she would always make it so that I wanted her back, like she did earlier. I told her that Im doing ok and that I stopped doing many of the things the she didnt like, like smoking weed – her voice cracked a little and said oh really?
So I told the other ex its best if we just stay friends but had to block her on fb cause I didnt want to upset the one I was still in love with anymore than she aready was. She called me a couple of times post NC, but she said she pocket dialed me both times and I know she called me on purpose both of those times.
Knowing who she is, she does’t like to get hurt, so she tries to avoid it and to me and a few other people, it seems as if she is confused because her friends are telling her to go with this new guy but it seems like she has feelings for me still by the way she acts. I miss talking to her – She made me zone out from the entire world and give her the attention which she needed and I did give and got back the love as well. I then told her that if i could go back, I would change everything to change the outcome of what happened, that it is my burden to hold and that I will live with it for the rest of my life. Well about a week later March 7th (got out on Feb 23 just a lil time frame) my ex changed her fb status to in a relationship and changed her profile pic to her kissing this new guy.
I kept trying to text her about things that she likes and how they made me think about her, but I would keep getting a neutral response. She never really opens up in this type of situation, we broke up once before and i was able to show her the fun we had together by hanging out and talking and eventually got back together.
I told her that im not holding any ill feelings towards her and that im even open to the idea of being friends. During that time she would never she how she felt, she just would give me a dry answer and one day wanted to get back together. But I handled the situation maturly and didnt text her anything rude as a matter of fact I only texted her on Easter wishing her and her daughter a happy Easter. The new guy when they start talking was planning to go to college half way across the country, so he has no plans to have a committed relationship. She then said she was thankful for the 5 year experience and she learned a lot, that she now knows what she wants and she is doing everything she wanted to do with me, that she was happy.
I decided to end the phone call be telling her I had to go, i said i wish you well, take care and bye.
Atleas give a consideration that i was a faithful dude down to be in it for the long hall .
She said I care more about my hobby than her which was not true I love her to death and sometimes we do need to do our own thing to take our mind of things. I was still kinda heartbroken over everything but was starting to move on even though I still thought about her all the time I was starting to heal.
I ended up messaging her that I still loved her and that I wanted her to have my kids like we planned, that we said forever.
So we had a 3 hr long conversation and it went great we talked we had some laughs and it was like we were together again. She gave me a huge paragraph of what I did wrong, and that she did not love me anymore, that she moved on quick, because she realized how ive treated her all these years.
She knows that saying that saying she is happy now with her new guy will hurt me although i never showed that pain on the phone call. So we texted a couple times over the past couple of weeks and than she called me on Friday telling me she was bored so I was working at the time and told her I would call her back after work and I did.
I know if i pull at her more while she still mad and bitter shes just going to pul away more. So I started to bombard her with messages , phone calls , flowers ,hand written letters I even hung a huge banner of an over pass bridge that she would see on her way to work telling her that I loved her Nothing has worked to convince her to come back she insists its over when I feel there is still something there and the issues she has with me I can easily fix. On top of that ahe has the type of girlfriends who like bashing dudes cause thwy dont have one or not satisfied qjth the ones they have.
She said I am definitely not her soulmate and neglected anything i said to get her back, complete opposite of what she would normally do.
She would always tell her friends about me and how much she loved me and even tod them all about our sexual life.
Since the break up I am seeing a professional about my addiction and ive told her that I am. She ended up calling me at work to tell me to stop messaging her about our relationship, even though I stopped an hour earlier already. So I picked her up after work I offered to let her sleep in my bed and I sleep on the couch but she insisted I sleep in the bed with her so yeah we made love the first night than we woke up and did it again she came to help me on one of my jobs as I have my own construction company and she used to work with me sometimes when we were together.
She does reply to my messages sometimes they are always very short and not answering the questions im asking her. The following morning she left a voicemail saying that she read over our messages and said that she hopes i move on quick and recuperate, that she was concerned about how i sounded over text since she has never heard me talk like that. Than I took her to a carnival we ate some food and went on a ride and I won her a stuffed furry animal.
Also the day she dumped me she deleted me of her facebook and sure enough a new guy appears on there from her work so ive got a suspicion she has met someone else. Two days pass and Im starting to hurt more, now i want her back really badly so at night i asked her to talk to me over the phone.
Than we woke up the next day and I had to go out to look at a job and she stayed at my house while I was gone. I came back and we went out to eat at our favorite restaurant for lunch than went over to my cousins house she is close friends with them and she wanted to see theyre baby which she loves. I ended spilling my heart out on that phone call, asking her to come back to me, that ive never been hurt by her like this.
She said she no longer loved me, when i would bring up making love she said to stop because it made her cringe.
We held hands the whole ride and she told me she loved me when I dropped her off and she told me she left me a note on my dresser mirror to read when I got home. That what she said just a month ago about forever was only because she didnt realize how much i hurt her over the years.
The note said my name, I love you with all my heart no matter what we have been through 4ever&always yours, love her name. That she found someone who always listens to her and doesnt criticize her when she needs comfort.
The call ended on bad terms, i told her to tell me that she is going to have sex with her new guy eventually one day at the end, so that i can feel numb and try to let her go completely. She didnt want to at first because it was none of my business, but she ended up saying it after I pleaded for it. Im so depressed, thinking that she is really happy and I that I wont be able to get her back.
I plan on talking to her in 2 more days to try to briefly make amends and work my way to friendship. She is the type of person who doesnt like to hurt anyone, so it makes me think she wont want to leave her new guy for me.



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