So much focused is place on meeting men who have money.  What about meeting women who have money?  That is one of the easiest routes to meet men who do. 1)  Join a charity related to the environment, medicine (hospital), or health.  You can be a board member or just volunteer. I had a nice, but brief friendship with an older woman who gave me great advice.  One night I was uncomfortable about attending a political charity event alone. I believe that Jesus was talking about a state of consciousness that most rich people live in—a limited state of consciousness that prevents them from living a life of joy. An actor many years ago recited the book of Mark from memory in a  Broadway show that became a hit.  The actor got a laugh from the audience when he got to Mark 10 and the story about how a virtuous rich man approached Jesus and his disciples to ask him how he could achieve eternal life. The actor saw Jesus’ humor and gentle bemusement when he compared a rich man’s chance of getting into heaven with the chance a camel could squeeze through the eye of a needle. I always thought the actor made a brilliant interpretation of this poignant passage.  The actor saw that Jesus, without judging the man (who had followed the commandments all of his life), saw the funny side of how hopelessly attached the rich man was to his wealth. In the New York Times (October 6, 2013) Daniel Goleman, the author of the best selling book, Emotional Intelligence, points to research that proves that rich people lack empathy toward the poor and other people below their social station. I have suggested in this blog and in my book, Poise: A Warrior’s Guide, that poise is the seeker’s goal because it is the highest state of consciousness that we can achieve. But the rich and successful want fulfillment, and fulfillment is measured not by being in the precious moment but by accumulating wealth.
The attachment to wealth means the ego, which is propped up by the false sense of importance and superiority that wealth brings, must worry constantly about the future.  Will I be able, the rich man worries, to maintain my riches and therefore my status—my very being?
Yes, the rich woman says, maybe the poor have the luxury of living in thepresent.  Sure, the present is wonderful, but it doesn’t have every-thing I need. The rich have trouble feeling connected to people below their station.  If they could connect to all people, they would find everyone of equal interest and of equal value. The ego of the rich person must draw clear distinctions between his successful life and those who are not prosperous or powerful. Now he has separated himself from the majority of the human race, who are not rich.  And now he must over and over defend his superiority by claiming that his wealth is due to working hard—as if those below him don’t.
His world of concerns is a small world—the small world of his ego, his wealth, his practice, and his professional colleagues. Many rich people are complaining to policy makers every day about their challenges and about the need for public policy to protect their gilded life.  They seem unable to discern their own bad faith as they push relentlessly toward higher and higher positions of security and power. But many rich people are stingy, apparently not seeing the creative strategies they could use to improve life on our planet. Research about who gives what to charity shows that poor people are the most generous givers in relationship to their wealth.  Poor people are more attuned to the needs of others than rich people.
It  could be argued that rich people have a moral responsibility to be creative with their wealth beyond imagining the design of their second home, the sure route for their children’s future, or how to get the biggest investment return for their wealth. A good challenge for the creativity of the rich could be: How can you use your wealth to make this a better world? Rich people have trouble being light-hearted.  If you are worried about sustaining your wealth and afraid of losing it, if you are earnest about how the world should appreciate your position and align with your financial interests, if your ego must dominate others to be satisfied, you have a lot of trouble laughing about your status and being light-hearted. You may think that Jesus said that the rich man must literally give away everything in order to be get on a path of love. But I don’t think so.  Money is just energy, and we handle energy well or not—depending on our awareness.
I think Jesus meant that we can’t build our life around our wealth.  We can’t be attached to anything. He believed that we already have everything we need, but fail to understand that we have everything. Gary Stokes has been a coach to leaders of transformational change and President of Mountain Consulting.


If not for the compassionate, giving rich who share and have shared their bountiful life, we would not have cures, help for children, homes for homeless, hospitals, symphonies, art museums, schools, libraries and on and on.
You both must know some generous rich people who don’t fit my profile, so you want to defend them. I agree that some rich people are conscious human beings who understand their fortunate place in the world and understand that they are in no way superior to anyone else.
Well, maybe symphonies and museums maybe, neither of which benefit the poor, who never get to go to either.
Currently, the rich hate paying for these social goods, so they wage an endless war against their responsibilities toward the social good. If the rich were as nice and generous as you claim, Judy, we would live in a society where everyone is able to live a safe life of opportunity. But in their current stage of consciousness, with their own self-interest primary, rich people are keeping our society stuck with enormous poverty, child endangerment, and a cloudy future.
If we happen to find ourselves rich, as I do, and we want to be in heaven, then we must be ready at all times to see our wealth evaporate, leaving nothing. My ideal consciousness is to feel that I have everything even when I have no home, no wealth, no safety net. I don’t want to be spiritually vulnerable, like the rich man Jesus was bemused about. Another thoughtful and thought provoking blog by you, As you point out, recent psychological research shows that the richer one is the less empathy they have for those you deem to be of lesser status. But it’s odd that as pervasive as this mindset appears to be there are numerous exceptions that we see showcased in the media such as Warren Buffett, Bill and Melinda Gates, George Soros, and others who give generously.
I have to disagree with using a statistical detail, 4.5% of the population having a million or more in investible assets as being rich. If it is ego that keeps the rich from living a poised life, which I always take to mean one of self examination and a willingness to work towards achieving inner peace, then there is nothing except ignorance of a better path and how to find it, or profound callousness that hints at deeper inner problems, that stands in the way. Thanks for your reply, in general I agree with some of your conclusions and all of you hopes and aspirations for a more equitable society.
Would it be helpful to assess your current level of poise?  Sign up to get a free assessment of your poise and regular email up-dates for The Poised Life. Professional and Reader Reviews of Poise: A Warrior’s GuideFive Stars Inspiring and mentally daring, this book provides us with great insight in how we may find fulfillment in ordinary life. When checked, Shutterstock's safe search screens restricted content and excludes it from your search results.
Ukraine’s political life heats up as the country moves towards the final round of Presidential voting. One pervasive myth about Russian dating is that Russian women are only interested in rich men. Even if a gentleman is a very wealthy, there is no guarantee he will find true love on a Russian dating site. While a man does not need stacks of cash to win the heart of a Russian woman, the logistics of Russian dating make it necessary for a gentleman to have some extra income. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Their attachment puts them at a big disadvantage if they want to be fully conscious and to live a life of love.
What might go wrong?  What if my wealth were to vanish?  How could I survive?  I have to worry about the future because I could lose all if I don’t.
His book, Poise: A Warrior's Guide, charts the path toward a fully-realized life, a vibrant integration of presence, connectedness, gratitude, creativity, and light-heartedness.
He designed and conducted research to test innovative strategies for reducing poverty in partnership with national foundations, federal and state government, and local communities.


Rich is not only a financial statistic it’s a state of mind, an awareness of what life can throw at you. Ignorance can be cured with education, callousness is cured only when tragedy hits and reality bites, and money is no longer a shelter from life’s vicissitudes. I don’t think you are right however when you conflate personal responsibility with self absorption. While there are certainly gold diggers out there, the majority of Russian women are not willing to uproot their entire lives for money alone. As founder and CEO of Move the Mountain Leadership Center, he coached hundreds of leaders, among them Presidential appointees and other top executives in government, education and business.
Ask someone living in San Francisco or New York or London or Zurich or Tokyo, looking at a 25 year retirement with just that amount of money to carry them through if they are rich. Do you really feel that planning for a long retirement by accumulating enough money to get you through is an act of selfishness? However, Russian dating is not cheap and gentlemen cannot expect to meet and marry the Russian woman of their dreams without spending a significant amount of money.
Many Russian and Ukrainian women lead happy, fulfilling lives in their home countries and are hesitant to leave their friends, family, and culture behind. Men who are struggling to get by will likely find it very difficult to afford the membership fees and chat costs of a Russian dating service. When I was in NYC, I had the feeling that even the older female socialites were not friendly or wanting to mentor at all. He has written and spoken extensively about the profound personal and organizational challenges facing individual leaders of large-scale change.
I don’t want to end up where I become a burden to society or my family by not having been the prepared ant to others who were the irresponsible grasshopper of fable, so money is important. For those in recovery it is the daily decision to live the 12 steps as the spiritual path toward sobriety. Love, not money, is the primary motivation for women who decide to take the plunge and marry a Western man, and love is something money can't buy. Even if a gentleman is able forgo an agency and chat with Russian women for free, he must still make expensive trips to Russia or the Ukraine and then deal with costly immigration and relocation expenses should he and a lady decide to wed. However, a gentleman must be financially stable enough to afford the unavoidable expenses of Russian dating.
But it doesn’t follow that they are unhappy or ungrateful for a life that may have allowed them to experience many moments of joy and light heartedness, and which can continue to do so if they can learn to pullback their ego, take life as it comes and adjust to changing circumstances.
The book zeroes in on the discipline required to identify and root out self-pity, the nemesis of a deep and connected life.
The author invites us to confront our demons - pride, anger, rigidity, fear - all couched comfortably in self-pity, in order to rise like the phoenix from the ashes to engage our loved ones and the world in a full and loving way….All you warriors out there, read, mark, learn and inwardly digest this book. Statistics don’t give an accurate picture of much beyond the math, there is no nuance to data, so you give us a cartoon of pouting rich retreating into their mansions taking the ball home and not playing the game.
I want to make the most out of every minute I have in this life and keeping away from the negativity is a must. I will say this, I agree with what you said Grandpa about the poor being more generous with their money than the rich overall. Rich people you couldn’t squeeze a nickel out of, and poor people who will give you the last dollar in their pocket.



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