If you want to stay confidential, not a problem, all you have to do is email us your profile, and we will get in touch with you, and see if your a candidate for the show that we will start up in the fall- winter at a venue in Westchester County, New York; possibly you may end up meeting Mr.
Chat personals love women men chat about your dog blog, play the dating game, girls & guys over 21 who live in the new york area. Colby Keller loves to chat, something evidenced by the bunch of conversations he's had with Nightcharm over the years (link majorly NSFW). Mark Adnum: I read that your stage name was suggested by a gay porn director who found you so shy and quiet in person that all he could think of was Helen Keller. I think a lot of my shyness stems from growing up (and continuing to struggle) in a conservative, anti-intellectual culture (capitalism) where "conformity" ranks much higher, ideologically, than any sort of creative, experiential investigation of the world. Then again, I'm just trying to avoid your question: Job interviews definitely make up some of the worst memories I have. Adnum: As we've discussed before (link NSFW), both of us are introverts, and both of us are chronic nail biters. He's also one of gay porn's most prolific and exuberant -- not to mention diverse -- performers, playing all kinds of roles in all kinds of scenes.
As politically incorrect as that may be, I understand that you are a classic introvert, with unsteady social skills and a preference for your own company. I suppose I should interject with a few corrections to start off: While I do consider myself a natural introvert and do appreciate some quality time alone, I can't say I prefer it to quality time with other human beings.
Even "normal" sex activates a highly charged liminal zone -- that impossibly frustrating space of estrangement located between radically different subjectivities -- between all of us. But I'm still curious as to how an introvert can perform as confidently as you do, as a rampantly exhibitionist porn star?


So while it may seem contradictory that Colby identifies as a natural introvert, his marvelously introverted reflections on introversion demonstrate that introverts aren't necessarily shy: We just aren't interested in small talk. Yet at the same time, there you are, performing in XXX movies for the world to see, so you're obviously not shy. A good part of sex and nearly all of "love" is a frustrated (though immensely rewarding, if done properly) attempt to experience and share in the subjectivity of others. As much as we want to penetrate the other, throw one body inside the other, fill other bodies with cum, we'll never truly get entirely "inside." We never succeed.
This age has yet to recede, as any introvert who's gone into paralysis during a job interview or while on a date and never got a call back as a result can tell you all too well (if they're not too shy to talk to you at all). It's a different kind of engagement, granted, but the Internet has actually made it easier for me to talk to people in the real world and learn to engage real, conventional types of people -- the hardest part of the job. People that can't cope with the inevitable responsibilities of social engagement that life on planet Earth affords us all border a crevasse of psychopathology.
What have been some of your most memorable struggles as an introvert, even though I'm sure you'd rather forget them? While capitalism certainly planted its roots further back than the 18th century, I think the kind of performative operations that the modern market economy demands from all participants doesn't conform to the typical operational capacities of an "introvert." Oddly enough, the market also privileges "art" with the most inviolable concentrations of abstract value. Laying the body bare, confronting the successes (and failures) of engaging other bodies, makes for an inherently awkward project. On the downside (and what sad-sack introvert doesn't end a conversation with the downside), my increased public profile has definitely made it harder for me to have sex. Even a child created from sex isn't necessarily "two made one" but an entirely different (and doubly estranged) "third." Sex is a failure we feel compelled to reenact over and over, anticipating different results -- the definition of craziness, right?


All social morality seems to break down and reveal its true face at the zero-level entry phase of economic acceptance.
Does this phenomena hint at capitalism's own inherent insecurity -- a desire, perhaps, to exculpate itself from its many sins? Maybe I just intimidate men with long-winded answers to simple questionnaires like this one? My curiosity with porn comes from this kind of emotional and intellectual engagement, but I can't say I'm altogether comfortable with it, hence my commitment to "shyness." If I were too comfortable with it, after all, I can't imagine how it would continue to spark my interest. We feel compelled to have sex, but isn't sex also completely ridiculous, "funny," "unnecessary"? Oddly, it never really succeeds in this totalizing project (the artist is too savvy) but comes close. I also began to realize that honesty, a value I learned to advocate above all else as an evangelical Christian (we read the Bible literally, after all), doesn't sell well. If we really want to believe in the ideological project of "individualism," shouldn't we all come to the conclusion that each of our bodies is already whole? In truth, we fumble around two polar conclusions ("I am whole," "I need others"), sex in the crosshairs. To answer your question more directly, I also needed money to feed myself (see question above).



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