Not the one you deserve, because I already left that one for you in the rain outside your mom's house. When things turned sour in December and January, I knew that we were not meant to last forever. When we started to see each other again for coffee dates, you would calm me down from my anxiety by climbing ontop of me in the backseat of your mom's car. But I could never resist your touch or the feeling of your soft lips and warm breath gliding across my skin.
I was addicted to the feeling of your skin on mine and I needed it more than the air we breathed. When things escalated from meeting up for coffee, curled up in the backseat to dinner dates and seeing your friends again, I knew I was in too far.
I stopped talking to everyone because I was embarrassed at the fact that I got myself back into this abusive relationship with you again.

He had always been there for me and I knew he would listen and try to help me without getting my parents involved. I was filled with negative thoughts about not being good enough, or being a "monster" and a "bitch" because I was no longer happy with you.
I was holding onto the hope that we would be back to the way we were before my grandfather died. You were in a good mood and I was trying to suppress my thoughts when you took my phone and found the message that led to the final downfall. I had never seen you like that before and it is still to this day the thing that haunts me. You parked in an empty parking lot and sat on the asphalt looking the opposite direction of my car. But the only thing I remember getting out was the word "toxic." You know what happened after that.

You yelled at me that I was a bitch and a monster and that you could finally kill yourself now that you no longer had me to live for. The way you leaned in while I was driving down a windy road in the pitch black, tears in my eyes, making it impossible to see and yelling profanities and whispering threatening things in my ear.
At one point, the suicidal thoughts were so loud, that I almost crashed my car with you in it.
When I got home they told me they were sending me off to my mom's because they were done dealing with me.
I just laid everything out for you and if you still don't understand then you're just blind to your abusive behavior.

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Ex boyfriend and i are still friends pictures

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