I was engaged for over one year and did not realize the impact that this mistake would have on me in the very short few months. What your guy has is a Narcissistic Harem – a load of women clucking around him giving him an ego stroke – Why extend yourself to a one-on-one relationship when you can have a host of women pandering to your whims and making you feel like The Big Man?
While I have no issue with opposite sex friendships, where things become tricky is when they impact on relationships and, as annoying as these people are, the fact that they impact says more about him than it does about them.
As partners you will never learn to communicate or resolve conflict if one party is running squawking to their friends and family each time. You want to know that if someone comes along and starts slating you, he’s not sitting in with them thick as thieves and nodding his head. Someone shouldn’t have to choose between their friends and family and a romantic partner. It is OK to ask the opinion of others however it’s disrespectful to not speak about issues with you. It’s disruptive when people think they can just show up whenever they like, especially in these circumstances. Check out my ebooks the No Contact Rule and Mr Unavailable & The Fallback Girl and more in my bookshop.
I know he liked to have his ego stroked, my being told how handsome he is, etc, and I’d rather not be involved with that behavior. But its sad to report that I’ve never had a gaggle of sycophants milling around me discussing the finer points of my existence. Of course, this guy doesn’t want a relationship, but that doesn’t stop women pining after him does it? I have a dilemma with my current bf, he’s very close to his ex gf who he dated for a year and half 5 years ago, they share same group of friends, so I see why they are still good friends. I have raised concerns about this to my bf multiple times, and told him how this makes me very uncomfortable, he has not done anything to change it so far, or he has and just does not bother to tell me.
He told me many of the other girls he dated had a problem with the ex, so this is not news to him, and he still decided to keep the ex around, so my question is..
I don’t believe that all friendships with exes are unfair, but most of them probably are, and this one definitely is. I guess my question to you regarding all of your questions above- Does it really even matter? On the flip side Nat – I guess I had a harem of friends and family that did not get involved thou had their own opinions on the ex. I think if a relationship ended respectfully, there is no reason not to continue a friendship.


Is it wrong to have expected my ex to set some boundaries with his interfering female friends & family?
Is it reasonable to expect that the person you’re involved with should stand up for you, the relationship, and basically not allow others to ‘interfere’ to the point of destructively influencing the relationship? It’s immature and he is actually helping to communicate the wrong things about your relationship.
However, even if the exact nature of your relationship is unclear, as a basic courtesy, they can still stand up for you by nipping these conversations in the bud simply by changing the topic even. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way. They don’t respect the girls who hang around wanting nothing more than to stroke their ego.
However, the situation makes me very uncomfortable, they talk to each other on the phone 2 to 3 times a week, she posts comments on his fb wall daily, the worst part is when I met his mom this past weekend, she basically implied that she sees his ex gf as her own daughter since she doesnt have a daughter, and they still hang out regularly. He is also friends with a few of his other exes and was thinking about going to one of them’s weddings.
If there are no romantic feelings whatsoever then why not keep someone in your life that cares for you, respects you, knows you inside out, is always there for you and who you have an amazing bond with? My healthy relationship ex and i were more like housemates by the end of our relationship – just friends who lived together. Now, he isn’t sleeping with them, and they’ve all been friends a great many years, never dated each other, etc. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you. I am a cute girl and there are plenty of men who would like to hang around me if I let them. Geez though some of them come across as modest and shy, but they’re just as arrogant and self-serving as the obvious ones. If someone is ready for a relationship and they are in one, the relationship is going along like a relationship.
Simply click here to return to Your Narcissistic Injury Horror Stories or How You Done Him Wrong. It’s almost like they were all mother in laws, constantly around, always showing up at his house, giving their opinion, guiding him about what to do with me in the relationship, etc. My guy also admitted to me that his behavior had drove away other women he’d dated in the past.
They have it set up from the start, so that even if they do stop the enmeshed behavior with the other women, YOU’RE still the bad guy!


The original plan was that I go back to my town two hours away to complete my move to his home on a 55 acre farm.
They caused quite a great deal of upset in our relationship, and although I tried talking to him about it quite a few times, he would talk to them, and not me, about our relationship. And even if you didn’t know, I would think that reading this blog would clue you in to the fact that most women, at least grown women who are ready for a healthy, committed relationship, disllike self-absorbed men.
But then on the other hand he , just as Natalie mentioned, made excuses for why he didn’t have a girlfriend.
It got to the point where I simply chose not to deal with them – or him- anymore because it wasn’t worth the upset and feeling bad, unsure, confused, about it all the time.
His chief excuse for not being able to keep a girlfriend was that it was because of his grueling work schedule. Also, do you think he is spending time, wondering about how all of this makes you feel, what effect these actions are having on you? Men really do need to have their lifestyles as such that it is ALREADY a comfortable and welcoming environment for a girlfriend to come into, and an environment that has enough room for you, not an environment that’s already being filled by the presence of someone or something else, that leaves no room for you to comfortably come in and take your rightful place.
Looking at it from my perspective I hope you feel free to please walk away from that man and never look back. It does sound to me like he is in a holding pattern, and this is the pattern that he will probably carry on for a very long time, maybe for the rest of his life. Even if he goes seperate ways finally from this particular ex-girlfriend that he’s so OVERLY-ENMESHED with, he will probably just move another one or more of his other shields more to the forefront, and continue to be unavailable.
If in the future he has and keeps girlfriends around, it’s just a question of which of the girls he meets are willing to put up with this for longer.
I wish I had someone from the outside to look at it and give me an objective opinion, but you live, you learn. Well my last boyfriend (with the harem) came across as shy, unassuming, quiet, modest, polite and never cocky, the salt of the earth!
I hope this has helped you make up your mind, good luck to you and I do hope you will consider walking away if it’s making you feel bad.



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Comments to «Narcissistic ex back in touch»

  1. DangeR writes:
    Them to mattress, get physical with them.
  2. KAROL88 writes:
    Components to the sudden and recent decline in Mollie, with sees you as somebody who.
  3. LEDI_RAMIL_GENCLIK writes:
    Haven't read the 5 step again to like they had been earlier back utilizing text.