Please enter at least one email addressYou are trying to send out more invites than you have remaining. In the end, I subscribe to the theory that in order for me to best help you get your ex boyfriend back you need to see the entire picture and that is what I am doing here with this guide, helping you see the parts of the picture you are missing. The no contact rule without a doubt is the most successful strategy that you can use to get your ex boyfriend back. Well, I recently did my very own independent study where I took a look at what the women who have come to EBR and successfully won their exes back were doing and 72% of them had utilized the no contact rule. Here’s the thing though, most people who try the no contact rule end up failing.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? My vision was that you could use this book to serve as your safety net as you navigate through the treacherous waters of the no contact rule.
Every single day I carve out an hour or two to answer comments and questions from the readers of this site.
It’s funny to me though that so many women fail at something SO CRUCIAL to get their ex boyfriends back. While I admit there are many constants in the concerns above the correct answer I am looking for lies in a simple truth. Therein lies the foundation on which this guide was built, helping you to better understand what goes on in your exes mind so YOU can succeed with the no contact rule! To be more specific, I am going to be talking about how a man can possibly react (and what he will think) when a woman implements a no contact rule on him.
When it comes to the no contact rule I have found that there are 7 main reactions and thoughts that men will have. What kind of emotional “aftertaste” do you think your ex boyfriend was left with after the two of you broke up?
Good or bad, whatever his aftertaste is will cause him to react a certain way to the no contact rule. You are going to play my ex girlfriend (who is using a 30 day no contact rule on me.) Of course, I am going to be playing your ex boyfriend and plan to give you insight on each of my reactions. Of course, every time I send a message that you don’t respond to I am leaving myself vulnerable. Usually, after a certain amount of texts are un-responded to I will start calling you frantically. Frantic Caller Turned Ignorer- A man who will frantically call after NC but will get so angry that you are ignoring him that he won’t call you again. Just like before, you are going to implement the no contact rule on me and just like before I am going to become a text gnat by sending you a lot of different text messages and phone calls. Above I talked about how the more I care about a person emotionally the more I care about a text message response.
I am a glass half full kind of guy so I choose to look at it like this: men who take being ignored personally will want to get back at you. I can’t tell you how often I hear women say this to me when they talk about their ex. The Stubborn Guy- This is a reaction that a certain man will have during the no contact period. It is your greatest fear after all, having an ex NOT contact you at all during a no contact period. Me having that thought about you is probably your greatest fear when it comes to getting me back. I think stubborn men as a whole adopt two specific mindsets when they are put in the no contact rule.
Yes, you read that right THEY are going to feel like the victim even though in the grand scheme of things they aren’t one. The Clueless Guy- A legitimate reaction where your ex is entirely clueless throughout the no contact rule.
I understand that you may be a little confused at how this reaction will play out in real life. Part of the reason the no contact rule works so well is the fact that the party it is being done to will sense that something is wrong. Men who tend to be clueless are ones that don’t have a lot of experience in relationships. You see, one thing I have learned about women throughout my life is they tend to drop these little hints when you talk to them. For example, during the NC period a clueless guy will not sense that anything is wrong at all.
So, there are aspects of being frantic and stubborn in there but as a whole he will not get any of the hints you drop. Here is the problem though, without the no contact rule you really don’t have any chance to acquire the logical mindset you need. The Scared Guy- This is a reaction that is the exact opposite of someone who frantically calls or texts. If YOU broke up with me and implemented a no contact rule then I would definitely be afraid to contact you because of the fear of rejection. If you know for a fact that your ex boyfriend is afraid to contact you then shouldn’t you just break the NC and reach out to him first? If you contact him first during no contact he is probably going to revert to the stubborn mindset of “oh ya! As always, we are going to let our two favorite actors act out this scene for us so we have a better grasp of how this is all going to go down. Of course, when you ignore the text he sends he is going to figure out really quickly that something is up. Chances are, if you are doing the no contact rule immediately after a breakup your ex boyfriend is going to be thinking about you a lot.
The angry guy reaction is really the reaction that is going to tie into the aftertaste effect the most out of any reaction listed throughout this guide. Except there is something different about the angry guy reaction as opposed to the stubborn guy reaction. You see, with the stubborn guy reaction I won’t contact you during NC but deep down I will still want to hear from you. Typically, the tell tale sign of an angry guy reaction is when your ex says some very hurtful things to your face repeatedly. So, I suppose the real question here is, is it possible to get someone back if they exhibit this reaction?
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. I have been in no contact for five days and he sent me texts on 3rd day, emailed me on 4th day and today he asked me if i want to skype and called me two times. What I forgot to mention was when he broke up with me it was in the middle of the night and he said he did not love me. I broke up with my bf after a year because he would always tell me that he knows he is going to marry me and constantly told me that he will love me forever.
We talked once on the phone which was supposed to be short and he kept me on the phone for an hour.
The other day we were chatting and having a good time and I asked if he wanted me to come back. Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Don’t worry though, I saw this problem and spent two months creating that step by step plan people were clamoring for. You are going to discover that this page is really long, in-depth but more importantly, it is going to help you to not only get your boyfriend back but to rediscover yourself in the process.
I thought the best way to go about the rest of this page would be to take an in-depth look at each step of the ex recovery process starting with your break up and what to do immediately after it.
Ok, before we do any soul searching or serious strategizing you are going to have to implement the no contact rule. If you don’t believe in the no contact rule then all I can say to you is that you had better start believing in it. Right after a break up is when you are at your emotional peak and I don’t mean a good emotional peak, I am talking about anger, hate, basically everything that Yoda from Star Wars said to avoid. Your ex boyfriend is probably going to start wondering why you aren’t talking to him and possibly may even begin to miss you. Knowing what caused your breakup is important because it can give you an idea of where your relationship went wrong and how you can possibly correct it in the future.
However, I would say that the average man will leave a relationship when his is no longer getting what he needs.
Another thing that you always hear guys saying is the fact that they are constantly nagged to death by their girlfriends.
Nagged To Death = A man looks at this as if his woman no longer is satisfied with what he has to offer or bring to the table. Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. A lot of times what can happen is an ex can realize what they missed about you once they are settled in with their new person. A huge misconception out there is that because you did the dumping it is a lot easier to get back with your ex. Everyone always thinks they could do better until they go out and realize that the relationship they had before wasn’t so bad. A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things.
One thing that needs to be made clear is that if you are going to seriously invest the time and effort to get your ex boyfriend back you are going to have to adopt a new mindset. The big goal that you should strive for is to create a relationship with your ex boyfriend that is not only new but better. To a casual observer that may sound really risky but personally I love women with that belief that after they get their boyfriend back they will be with him forever. So, the big take away that I want you to get from this section is that your ultimate goal assuming this process works for you is that you are discarding your old relationship and creating a new one that is stronger. If you can’t already tell I truly do enjoy helping women strategize on how to get their ex boyfriends back. As a general rule it is good to have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your significant other. If you break your no contact period agreement (talking to him in any shape or form before the 30 days are up) then you have to start your 30 day no contact period over. Ok, so those are pretty much the most basic things of the big NO-NO’s of the no contact period.
Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been.
First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. You can change your hairstyle- I’ll admit, I am not a hairstyle guru but everywhere I researched claimed that this was an excellent tactic to looking good for your man so who am I to argue with the experts. Get in shape- There is no argument that you can make to me to say that this isn’t a good idea.
Clean up your diet- Again, this is another great way to feel better about yourself and notice how it is the opposite of sitting around eating ice cream all day. Clean up any skin problems you have- If you have excessive acne or any unwanted moles you can get those taken care of. So, now that you know what changes you need to make physically lets talk about arguably the harder thing to improve, your mental state.
Focus on work- It is good to distract your mind for a while and what better way to do that than with work. Write in a journal- Sometimes your mind is constantly racing with thoughts about your ex boyfriend and since you can’t talk to him for 30 days it might be a good idea to jot your thoughts down in a journal.
Have fun- If your friends invite you out to a party or club I would recommend that you go out and have fun with them. It shows you are moving on- In a strange way you kind of want your ex to know that you are on a date with someone. It can build up your self confidence- Dating other people helps you feel a little bit more confident. It will help keep your mind off your ex (probably)- When you are busy you have less time to mope around or think about your ex.
It will cure any phobias you may have developed- Women who haven’t been in a relationship for a long time may feel a little worried about meeting someone new. Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. You may notice that a lot of what you are doing during the no contact period is working on bettering yourself. As stated above, I personally prefer texting over any method of contact for a number of reasons. Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. I don’t know about you but if I got a letter out of the blue from an ex girlfriend I might be a little creeped out. You should try to create a message that is so interesting it is impossible for your ex boyfriend not to respond. Since things went positively you can contact them again in a few days and talk for a little bit longer. Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section.
First things first, this is not the part where you are going to try to get your ex boyfriend back. Think of it this way, if you do this set of messages correctly then you have a good chance of getting your ex to feel the same feelings you are feeling and they will start to remember how great your times together were. When you write your text message to him you are going to have to go into details instead of just writing something general. Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. Choice 2: “Do you remember the night where I loaned you my jacket at the football game?
Sometimes asking your ex a question can work well to get them to remember a good experience. More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively.
Ok, so you sent out your text to remind them of the good ole days where the two of you were as thick as thieves but they haven’t responded yet. If you haven’t heard anything from them yet and it has been past a couple of days then this could mean a couple of things. Whatever the case is just simply take things down a notch and start a few more harmless text messages where you just make first contact.
You have to be really careful because if this is done wrong then your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back drop drastically.
Well, now you are going to implement a number of small heart to heart chats in various different ways that are going to change your fortune in a positive way. One of the little things I always love about relationships that are going well is how you are constantly helping each other remember things.
This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Your best bet here is to take out a sheet of paper and write down all of the things that you have ever appreciated about your ex so you have an inventory to dive in. Plan your phone call when you know that your ex boyfriend will have a moment to talk privately.
I researched a lot on this section and discovered there are two types of very different methods to making this important phone call. This one is risky and may not get you a yes to a meet up but it allows you the ability to try again later whereas the method below this one pretty much lays your cards on the table.
This website has a lot of information about the no contact rule since it is an essential stepping stone to getting your ex boyfriend back. Well, the same can be said about the no contact rule as there are parts of it that can be very complicated. No Contact– A rule stating that you are not allow to call, text or get in touch with your ex boyfriend for a certain period of time. And yet, that simple idea turns out to be one of the hardest things to successfully complete when it comes to the ex recovery process. What does it mean if your ex boyfriend doesn’t contact you during the no contact period? You know what really sucks?Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? When you ignore someone with the intent of making them want to talk to you more and instead they don’t talk to you at all. Essentially what I am going to be doing here is bridging the gap between you and your ex boyfriend. I promise that I am going to do everything in my power to make that a reality for you and I want YOU to hold me accountable to it. I have already defined what the no contact rule is in the opening paragraph of this guide but I haven’t really talked about what the purpose of it is.
Seriously, when you sit back at the end of the day having completed a no contact rule what is it that you are aiming to have accomplished?
When you were a small baby and they neglected you for even a few seconds what did you do to get their attention?
The point I am trying to make here is that silence is very powerful and the no contact rule uses silence to it’s advantage. However, the no contact rule also uses something else as equally powerful as silence to it’s advantage, the power of ignoring. Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that any time a girl I really like ignores me it bugs me on a deep level. The no contact rule is meant to tap into that loss and cause an ex boyfriend to contact you but is that the true purpose of the no contact rule? Does your ex boyfriend even need to contact you during NC for you to be able to get him back? Well, if you take a look at the true purpose of no contact (to make him feel like he misses you) you can’t really tell if he misses you or not if he never contacts you.
First though, I would like to take the spotlight off of him for a while and talk about YOU.
You see, every day when I wake up one of the first things I do is answer as many comments on this site as possible. Too often do I run into someone who completely misunderstands the purpose of the no contact rule.
You see, a large portion of women who visit this site are under the impression that all they have to do to get their ex back is the no contact rule. While I am certainly annoyed to get responses like that I do have to take some of the responsibility. This is me taking responsibility for not explaining the no contact rule as thoroughly as I should have. While it is entirely possible that those three outcomes can occur it is also possible that all three may not occur. Then you are going to be extremely disappointed and depressed if stuff like this doesn’t happen at all.


I guess the main point I am trying to make here is that if you manage your expectations you will be much better off. It is a well known fact that I have talked to over 24,000 women through this site and let me tell you that when you talk to that many people you start to learn a thing or two. Lets switch gears for a minute here and talk about why your ex boyfriend wouldn’t contact you during this delicate time that we like to call the no contact period. There are a lot of different reasons for why an ex boyfriend would refuse to contact you during the no contact period. Lets start out with probably the most likely reason that he may not contact you during no contact, his stubborn nature.
As I teach in my No Contact Rule Book, some men are extremely stubborn and will refuse to be the one that reaches out first during the no contact period.
These are generally the type of men that absolutely love hearing compliments about themselves in relationships. Some men are just wired this way and it is really unfortunate because with these men it will usually be you that has to take the first step. Lets say that you are doing the no contact rule and you happen to run into a stubborn guy who won’t contact you at all.
If you are an avid reader of this site then you have probably come across my massive 10,000 word guide on how to get your ex boyfriend back. In other words, in that massive guide I actually recommend that you are the first one to make contact with your ex after the no contact period. I think too many women are conditioned by society to think that making the first move on a guy is wrong.
Sometimes it really pays to be the first one making the move on your ex because not only can you control things a little bit better it is always kind of nice when a guy feels wanted. One of the most overlooked factors when it comes to the no contact rule is how the actual breakup will affect your boyfriend. This is something I have talked about numerous times throughout this site so it only makes sense that I talk about it again here. This victimized role he is going to place himself in is going to cause him to want revenge on you in some way shape or form.
We have also discussed how it is possible that just the act of breaking up can cause a guy to paint himself as the victim. You have embarked on the no contact rule and you are feeling pretty darn good about yourself.
You can always expect a little bit of stubbornness to be involved when it comes to someone using silence as revenge. I know that was an incredibly weird picture for me to paint right now but the point I am trying to make here is that your ex boyfriend knows that deep down HIS silence will hurt you and it’s his only way of getting back at you without actually seeming crazy. This may spark an interesting debate though because if an ex boyfriend is using his own silence to hurt you does it mean that he would ever consider a reconciliation? While it is always important to find that delicate balance between logic and emotions it is also important to remember that the mere fact that your ex is trying to get back at you through the use of his silence means he is feeling emotions.
While those emotions may be negative they are still emotions and if you play your cards right you can turn them in your favor.
A few months ago I got a message from a woman whose ex hadn’t contacted her during her no contact period. I would like to take a look at what could possibly be going on in his mind if he takes a really long time to contact you. Well, lets assume that you are embarking on a 30 day no contact rule and lets say that after 21 days your ex boyfriend hasn’t gotten in touch with you.
Well, one thing that you can automatically assume is that a guy who doesn’t contact you during the no contact period always has a bit of stubbornness to him.
That battle between the pride and the heart is what your ex could be going through if he is experiencing what we are talking about here.
Towards the beginning of this guide I went on this whole rant about how the no contact rule can still be working even if your ex doesn’t contact you. Originally, I thought it would be fun to write a massive 10,000 word article on how to get your ex boyfriend back and see what happened.
Men are expected to make the first move, pay for dates, text first, etc, etc (you get the idea.) Thus, many women feel almost entitled when it comes to men talking to them.
What’s interesting is that I have had multiple women contact me here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery wondering if they should contact their ex after the no contact. Since this guide is specifically focusing on men who haven’t contacted you during NC lets use that as an example. So, we have a guy who hasn’t contacted you at all during your 30 day no contact period. Remember, your main goal here is to get your ex back and in order to do that communication is key. Besides, sometimes you will have to message your ex first and earn the right back to get him to message you. Hey I have been going through the site quite often but my situation is a bit different .I liked this girl and we were in a realtionship.
It’s already been three months AMOR and how will I know that she is willing to be with me again? My boyfriend broke up with me and said he doesn’t wish for it to work he says I stress him out whenever I speak to him he then said he needs not days but weeks with no contact off me to see if he misses me? So I broke up recently with my gf(i know that most of the users here are female but im just looking for help) and i really couldnt deal with it.
Do I start no-contact again(i only sent a msg saying that i left “because im busy with work”) for at least 30 days or what do I do? I had only been with my boyfriend for 3 months but I was absolutely in love with him ever since i met him 6 months before we started dating. I am going to be attempting to explain everything I know about how men react to the no contact rule.
Some of the things I talk about may be hard for you to hear but at it’s core it will come from a place of truth. I mean, if I told you that you would get a 100% success recovery rate if all you had to do was make it through 30 days without contacting your ex there would still be some women who would fail at not contacting their ex. Any woman who implements a no contact rule is uncertain about what is going on in her exes mind. Everyone knows that at a basic level and yet it is the aftertaste that compels us all to keep eating them. I mean, here you are reading this far down the page because you are hungry for another relationship with your ex. In this section I am going to outline each of the ways and give an in-depth explanation for what is going on in his head during the reaction. I remember when I first created this site I really thought that women who implemented the no contact rule would see this particular reaction from men but the truth is that not as many men have this reaction as I thought.
So, when I send you a text message and you don’t respond to it I am going to start to get agitated. In fact, I remember the very first day of the breakup I convinced myself that life was better and for a while it was. It’s this weird reality that an ex will create for himself during the no contact rule to tell himself that life is better without you but deep down all he really wants is to talk to you.
Here is where the main difference will come into play, instead of me ignoring you (but wanting to hear from you) I am going to be ignoring you out of anger.
This is an important nugget of knowledge to grasp for this reaction because it really goes down to the core of why an ex may potentially ignore you out of spit. Anyone who frantically calls you definitely has an interest in you (or at least wants to know what you think.) So, while they may take your ignoring personally you have to wonder if deep down (beyond that anger) they still really want to hear from you. Well, I want to make it clear that just because someone is a stubborn person that doesn’t mean that it is impossible to change their mind. It is a really warped way of looking at things, I’ll admit, but you wanted to know about mens minds right? Every time I talk to a woman that I am dating or a woman I am interested in I look at every single interaction as a power struggle. Men like this tend to be socially awkward or don’t really sense that anything is wrong.
This feeling that they get will create a range of emotions and eventually (sometimes subconsciously) show them how much their ex significant other really means to them.
Before we can answer that we need to study the psychology behind someone with a clueless reaction.
Post-breakup is when you are at your emotional peak and while emotions can be good sometimes in this case you are probably too emotional to talk to your ex. In this section we are going to be covering the range of emotions that will be going through an exes head who feels too scared to even make a move. I really want to do a good job explaining this so I am just going to cut right to the chase. Instead of frantically calling at the beginning of the no contact rule an ex who has this reaction will call just a few times during the middle of the no contact rule. Your ex is clueless about the whole situation and has no idea that you are doing a no contact rule on him. He may have a little bit of stubbornness in him in that he won’t want to be the first one to contact you. Firstly, he is thinking about you a lot which we can assume means that he still has some deep emotional feelings for you. I just wanted to know, if he tries to contact me a few times and I ignore him, what do I then do when the 30 days are up? And tried to be strong and not contact him, but failed and sent him 2 angry long text messages and received nothing in response. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of. This page, while amazingly detailed, won’t have every single step that you will need to successfully get him back.
I put a lot of work into this page (1 full month to be exact.) I read relationship books, I took notes on speeches that dating experts gave, I bought online products, I listened my friends tell me stories about what they did to reunite with their exes and tested out some of the things I learned. The no contact rule is going to give you time to work on yourself and calm down a little bit so you can think more rationally instead of emotionally. Make sure any interactions you do have with the person are short, pleasant and to the point. Thus, it is entirely possible that whatever reason they gave you for the breakup may not be completely true. No I am not talking about sex here (although that can lead to problems for some men.) I am talking about admiration. They love the newness of a relationship, want respect and like to see significant interest coming from females. I feel for you but don’t worry we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things.
This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. Unfortunately, in my personal opinion it says more about of his lack of character (unless you were really boring but I doubt that) than anything you actually did. Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight.
This may sound goofy but I like those women who so strongly believe that they are going to be together with their exes for good that they are willing to try anything. Those are the type of women who work really hard to create that NEW and BETTER relationship.
However, one thing that I have neglected to mention so far is that there are certain women (not you) that don’t have legitimate reasons for wanting to get back together with their boyfriends. The fact of the matter is that you can be perfectly fine without this person if you are citing any of these.
Remember how you are going to implement the no contact rule for a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman! I know it may be uncomfortable to talk about but in this case you need to suck it up and get the proper treatment if you don’t want them.
One of the biggest assets about the no contact period is that it gives you time to calm down a bit from the mental tension that was your breakup. Careful though, you don’t want to be one of those career first women and lose sight of your goal. Ok, basically if there was anything fun that you used to do (tennis, golf, puzzles, collecting, hiking, photography, music) renew it.
Honestly time is the number one thing that can help you get over a break up but the second best thing is definitely having fun. Instead of being completely miserable and depressed you are doing something constructive and dare I say having a bit of fun?
I am not saying it’s going to be easy but doing what I recommended above will really help to heal you.
The last thing you want to be is perceived as creepy or stalkerish and writing a letter the wrong way can definitely hurt you.
Well, it just so happens I have come up with the ultimate game plan for getting your ex back. Controlling the conversation is key that means that you should always be the one who brings the conversation to a close, YOU WANT TO BE IN CONTROL. Typically you want your ex to only think about the most positive experiences during your relationship. Don’t expect him to be receptive of your messages right off the bat, it may take a while.
DO NOT SPAM YOUR EX WITH TEXTS… if he doesn’t respond to your first one just wait a couple of days and try again. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. They are either extremely excited by the prospect of moving forward with things and they can sense that you are trying to move things along but this also makes them extremely nervous.
You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. You just planted a seed of doubt in your ex boyfriends head and now he is going to wonder if you saw a romantic movie with a friend or with a date. This tactic is no different and can definitely earn you some huge brownie points if you remind him about something he forgot. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. Except this time instead of slipping in a compliment during a conversation you are going to slip in something that you have always appreciated about your ex.
Ok, basically this is a tactic where you tell your ex boyfriend what you miss about your relationship. Well, today we are going to be tackling one of the most asked questions when it comes to the no contact rule. This guide is going to be looking at that situation specifically and breaking it down from your side and your ex boyfriends side. If you think I slacked off when writing this then just let me know in the comments and I will be sure to correct the problems that you see.
The point I am trying to make here is that the more attached you are to someone the greater the chances that them ignoring you will affect you. I suppose I could have done a better job of explaining the complexities of how this is all supposed to play out.
It can be entirely possible that the no contact rule was working you just have no idea because he has an amazing poker face. I have seen a lot of people with that attitude fail but I have also seen a lot of people with that attitude succeed.
In other words, they get addicted to the compliments and admiration they get in a relationship and they convince themselves that the girl has to do all the work. You go in thinking that he is a shoe in to message you throughout the period but it doesn’t happen at all.
Yes, there are time where you have to view it as a game (the talking phase, getting your ex back, etc.) However, when it comes time to actually build or grow your relationship communication is going to be required. You are always going to have to be the one to take the first step and press the action when it comes to communicating.
Does this mean that you are going to have to be the one to press the action after the NC rule is completed?
It just means that with some guys you are going to have to be the one to make the first step.
While I would tend to agree with that you are in a very unique situation here in that we are talking about your ex boyfriend. Remember, the guy who is stubborn may want more than anything for you to contact him but he just can’t get out of his own way sometimes. It could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend has gone through the following progression.
Granted, if you cheated on your guy then he is the victim but even in cases where there was no cheating the sheer fact that he had to break up with you is going to make him feel like the victim. If a guy has broken up with you the emotions he is going to experience after the breakup may cause him to feel like he was the victim.
You have managed your expectations about him reaching out during NC but you are a human being after all and you can’t help but wonder why he has been silent on his end for 10 days straight.
You have been in the no contact period for about 10 days but he hasn’t contacted you.
If he does happen to get in touch with you from anywhere between 21-30 days then I would consider that to be a pretty long time for an ex boyfriend to not respond to you. However, if he does end up biting the bullet and contacting you in that 21-30 day window that means there is a serious internal battle going on within him. Well, obviously Ex Boyfriend Recovery took off after that but if you go back and revisit the first official guide I wrote for this site you are going to learn a few interesting things.
While I have definitely made some major changes in my philosophy on exes since then (it was inevitable that I evolve with the site) pretty much the basic game plan for getting an ex back is the same. They literally asked me what I thought and when I told them that I thought it would be ok they decided against it because of that sense of entitlement. Your NC time period has just concluded and you are debating on whether or not you should contact him via a text message. Well, if the two of you just have this never ending no contact battle with one another then nothing is going to happen that could help you two reunite.
You get to control when the conversation is started and assuming you play your cards right when it will end. A few days later i found out she had met someone else and they started dating but it was literally just starting out. I sent her one last message and that was to say that i’m not gonna be contacting her NOR anyone and she said alright.


I want to start no contact as she is the woman im willing to sacrifice months and my efforts to be with. If you aren’t familiar with my website then let me give you a quick breakdown of what I am all about. In fact, if you are a constant reader of this site then you won’t have to look very far either. Now, while you are reading about each reaction I want you to keep in mind that I will be referencing the aftertaste effect a lot. While it may take a while I will finally get the hint and stop calling which will lead me to ignore you completely. My actions here, once NC was done by you was to spam you with text messages and phone calls. It wasn’t nasty from her end it was nasty from my end and I think it all came down to the insecurity I felt from being alone.
I had this feeling of being free but eventually the breakup caught up with me and I had to create this fake reality for myself where I did my best to put on this facade that I was great when deep down all I wanted was to talk to my ex. However, there will always be a certain portion of men that REALLY don’t like being ignored. You need to know when you have to be logical and you need to know when you have to be emotional. And how its almost been 3 weeks since the breakup, but only been a solid week since you tried not contacting him. The keyword there being SIGNIFICANTLY and before you get all argumentative I have seen the tactics outlined on this page work time and time again. It is such a complicated process that even the 10,000 words on this page can’t cover everything you need to know. Yea well, I only took a look at credible sources and every one and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE recommends the no contact rule. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex gave you for the break up is really why they broke up with you.
You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
The last thing they want is to hurt you so they will just break up with you and give you some general reason. Trust me, your going to have to do a lot of work, perhaps more than the women who were dumped. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. I would say think very carefully if this person is worth getting in a relationship with again.
Make sure that you are very serious about wanting to get back with this person before you keep reading.
No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself! Honestly, I am getting excited here because this is where you start taking the first steps of getting your ex boyfriend back.
The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous.
However, even if you are a workout fanatic don’t let your breakup change that side of you. This section is going to be all about how to get through your breakup and heal emotionally. Remember, focusing on work in this particular case should be used to take your mind of your ex boyfriend. Don’t worry though because I am going to go through every single step in a very-in depth manner.
Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. How you approach this first contact message is almost as important as the text messages later in this process.
Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions.
If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging.
For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Nevertheless, if you get a response like this you just have to be polite, positive and collected. Some of you may not agree with this but everywhere I researched said that using your ex boyfriends jealousy to your advantage is one of the most powerful things you can do. I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people.
One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile.
Knowing when to slip them in will depend on your gut feeling and the context of the conversation you are having. Your ex boyfriend might not be as receptive to meeting you somewhere extravagant and out of his way. The obvious advantage to this is that he has time to clear his schedule and make time for you ;).
What about when you were a little bit older and saw something at the store that you really wanted but they were simply silent to your request? For example, I remember when I was younger and a girl I was falling for wouldn’t respond to my texts I logged on to Facebook and looked at her profile to see if she was online. You start off with really high hopes that throughout this process he will end up contacting you.
Anyways, it seems that I have developed a new pet peeve when it comes to communicating with you ladies.
Most women get extremely depressed when an ex boyfriend doesn’t message them at all during the no contact period. So, there is no use getting all depressed over a strategy that is literally at it’s beginning.
I feel that women often have an advantage over men because women are constantly talking to other women about their feelings. People have a tendency to only remember the bad stuff about the relationships towards the end.
While your expectations have been managed your only human and you can’t help but wonder what is going on in his mind. On day 30 of her no contact period her ex finally broke down and sent out a message to her.
It doesn’t matter if he blew your phone up with text messages during NC or if he completely ignored you as you were ignoring him.
Secondly, I can tell you that I am absolutely thrilled when a girl takes the initiative to message me. And the most important thing is, were you active in improving yourself, going out, doing new activities, meeting new people, had a make over during nc? I was put into a whatsapp group(in which she was in) and i immediately left because i dont neccesarily like whatsapp groups, and next thing i know 30 min later she texts me asking if im okay and that she was just wondering if i was okay because i left the group. Every single friend of his and of mine knows it and would make comments to him and to me about it. To be more specific, you can’t talk, text or respond to any type of communication from him.
This puts YOU in a very unique position because I am spreading all of our dirty little secrets.
Personally, the more I care about someone the more I care about getting a response to a text message.
However, the more you send attention my way the less likely I am to give you that attention back.
Obviously, this is not what you want to have happen but the fact of the matter is that some men will react this way to the no contact rule. I would say that there is a 95% chance that your ex boyfriend is NOT going to have this reaction. If you can find the perfect combination between the two (remaining logical while using your emotions to tap into your exes emotions) you have a really good chance to get your ex boyfriend back. If I broke up with you under those pretenses then the chances are high that I left the relationship with a really bad taste in my mouth. It isn’t necessarily a fast process but there is proof out there to back up the claims being made.
I have been running this site for quite some time and get an incredible amount of emails and comments every single day.
This may sound a bit mean but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable. Personally, cheating to me is a big no no and I don’t think I could forgive that so easily. Careful though, don’t let them talk you into calling him before the no contact period is up.
The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.
However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative. This just means you misread the situation and you moved a little to fast to start bringing up your relationship. The obvious disadvantage is that you are laying a lot of your cards on the table and rejection will certainly hurt your feelings. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk.
The key is to just do something that the two of you will both enjoy where you can have fun and talk.
It just so happens that the time I did look at her profile she was online and I remember I blew her phone up angry that she was ignoring me. However, after your 30 days are completed he hasn’t contacted you and you are left feeling pretty depressed.
Remember, the no contact rule is only the first step of the entire ex boyfriend recovery process. It want’s what it wants and eventually it wore my pride down and a few days later I sent that message. Believe me when I say it takes a man who is incredibly stubborn to not contact you during a 30 day NC period. Seriously, I am so used to messaging girls (who I am romantically interested in) first that it is kind of annoying to me to keep doing it. In the end, we agreed to disagree but I think this little anecdote proves an interesting point. There are a complex range of emotions that go on here so I am going to be dividing this overall category into multiple sections. When I read the comments and inquiries I get from readers every day I feel bad for some of the women I communicate with.
I bet that the girl that I am talking to is getting the shakes because she is afraid of what I think about her.
If that was the case, then I probably will not want to contact you during the no contact period. Also I have blocked him on all social media except facebook (I unfriended him though so he cant see my stuff) so the only way he can really contact me is by text. But then after another 2 phone calls over the next few days he seemed more and more confused and more into hanging out with his friends and his friends are not good influences.
Each person wants me to give them a detailed step by step plan that they can follow to get their ex back.
Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account. A lot of times women make the mistake of picking up right where they left off whenever they do get their ex back.
The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. So, from this point on I am just going to be focusing on that method and the best practices using it. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. Because, if you screw this part up you can kiss your chances of getting your boyfriend back goodbye. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at. If your ex boyfriend would get jealous every time you would talk to another man or every time you went out then I would say you should really revisit your thinking on getting back together with him. Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys?
More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. He was very to himself yet intriguing and not like the other guys these days and super smart so i was hooked!
If after nc he responds well, then build rapport and attraction through texts and calls so that trip will be like your meet up stage. He began telling people I tried to change him and that it was an unhealthy relationship, and after we got together to give each others stuff back he seemed completely uninterested in me. The fact of the matter is that it is such a complex process that I really can’t give you everything you need in a post, email, comment or Facebook chat.
However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving. Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.
What about when you were in high school and you really liked a boy who wouldn’t give you the time of day?
It becomes very frustrating for me cuz I begin to feel like I’m chasing him and I am tired.
He works at the university i attend and i made friends with all his friends so i will probably run into him a few times. The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now.
The meet up went reaaaally well, he told me I looked amazing and very happy, and he was happy for me.
And for 4 days in the beginning i kept trying to tell him that I want to make it work and that you can’t just let go of someone who loves you so much. Its only really been a little over a week since I last tried to contact him, but almost 3 weeks since our breakup. He would just tell me that he’s not ready to give time to someone else and he wants to be selfish and he just wants to be alone. And that didnt make sense to me because he hadn’t had a girlfriend for 2 years already, and because i would barely hear from him when we were together so its not like i expected that much out of him.
He too said he was sad And that it was possible he was going to wake up and realize he made s big mistake but at that moment he could not give me the certainty that I wanted to be able to continue.
But also because I cheated on him (repeatedly …) a year ago and he only found out this year)? On the 4th day that I kept trying i told him that i’ll let him be exactly the way he wants to be. I dont expect for him to contact me at all if he doesnt want to, as long as we still get to be together. So trough that month and a half of texting he continued saying me that and he was asking me about my opinion about everything he was doing. Thank you for all the advice & articles, it has been really helpful in the healing process! We made little interactions during lunch time cuz he does come and eat at the same table with me despite our awkward noncommunication. I kept thinking that maybe theres something wrong with me or i may not be attractive enough.
He’s hard to read bcuz most of the times he seems unbothered about us not being together.
I told him I still want to be around and still want to be friends and he said then its not like we’re broken up. I kind of pushed him to wall and he admitted he went to coffee with that girl and that they had been talking for a week.
When he said that I asked him how did it come to this that he resents being around me so much.
I was furious and I said that he can’t have me in his life if he has her and when he decides what he wants to contact me. 7 days later, day before my birthday, he contacted me that he is going to delete me off facebook so he can move on. You shouldn’t have introduced me to your friends because i made friends with your friends so if they are going to get together for something, i will be there. I know that i will be strong and go through the 30 day NC rule but I dont think it would work to my advantage in this case to contact him after those 30 days are up since it was purely him that terminated our relationship. It simply seems that he really just doesnt want to be with me but thats just really, really hard for me to believe.



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