By clicking on the button above, I confirm that I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy. How do you cope when someone you care about ends your relationship and you’re not entirely sure why? Sometimes love ends, and whether it ends with a war cry or a whimper doesn’t change what you get to do next: Grieve.
In the middle of divorce, it's important to remind yourself that life won't always be so difficult.
Still, it's hard to believe that things get better when you're dealing with the stress of a split, so to help remind you, we've compiled 10 of our favorite quotes on self-preservation and rebuilding your life after a hardship. Click through the slideshow below to read them, then head to the comments to share your favorite quotes or sayings on perseverance and moving on. If you found your way to my site, then you’re probably going through a really hard time right now. If you're looking for advice on how to get over a broken heart, this is one of the best videos you'll ever find. If you just had your heart broken by someone you love, you really need to watch this video. This is a "leaked" video from my advanced break-up recovery course called The Breakthrough Breakup Method. If you're looking for advice on how to get over a break up, make sure you watch this video. If you're looking for advice on how to heal a broken heart, you're really going to enjoy this video. If you’re looking for advice on how to save your relationship or how to get over a relationship break up, check out this video.
Getting Over The Break Up With A Narcissist & Freeing Yourself From Narcissistic Abuse! Has the relationship, separation, divorce, or the break up with a narcissist all but destroyed you? Do you constantly worry, or obsess as to why this happened, and wonder if the nightmare will ever end? Have you tried desperately to rekindle his affection, or perhaps mold yourself into what you think he wants, and no matter how hard you try, NOTHING pleases HIM? If you are currently grieving the loss of a narcissist, if the break up with a narcissist has left you heartbroken, numb, and hopeless, I assure you, YOU are not alone in this journey back to self!
Not only have I been there, I have coached thousands of women who have also been in your same exact position.
How can a man go from being everything you ever wanted in a partner, everything you have always dreamed of, and suddenly change into being cruel, distant, vicious, and emotionally withdrawn?
How can a narcissist be so convincing, so romantic, so heavenly and utterly hard to resist…. If this is happening to you, and you are currently obsessing over what YOU did wrong… STOP! The Break Up With A Narcissist & The Ending Of A Narcissistic Relationship Tortuously Leave Victims In A State Of Confusion, Agony & Despair! If you are currently left with picking up the pieces after being discarded by a narcissist, or you are currently suffering from the heartache of loving a narcissist.. While this is the reality of my experience, I am extremely fortunate to be able to write this advice, and to let you know I survived it!
Not only was my ex-husband a narcissist, someone who slowly exhibited narcissistic traits, he was also diagnosed with pathological narcissism by his own therapist.
While I never understood what was happening, and remained in disillusion for many years, when I finally realized that my ex-husband would never change, that he was totally incapable of loving me, I knew that to survive the abuse, I would have to find the strength to move on, and free myself from his control, and the anguish he caused me. Though I admit, it was extremely painful, and extremely hard to move on, I knew it had to happen.
The TRUTH is, no one knows what it is like to be in a relationship with a narcissist, unless they have been through it themselves. Not only so, I have fallen in love with not just ONE man who fits this description, but two. Ironically, this is a very common question I am often asked, and it took me years to finally figure this out! In fact, at one time I thought I knew how to spot the characteristics of a selfish narcissistic man, only to painfully discover, I had no clue! Literally, I was completely clueless as to what was happening, until it was too late, and I was already emotionally vested. But the worse part of falling for a narcissist, is that in the beginning, there are no red flags!
He was relentless, he was convincing, charming, romantic, and everything you had always dreamed of, right? Going from being everything you could ever want in a man, to someone you hardly recognized? Yes, when coming out of a narcissistic relationship, victims have a very hard time grasping how they went from being completely consumed by the idealization of a narcissist, to being completely discarded.
Suddenly, you went from being ‘perfect’, only to be baffled when you can’t do anything right!
I had to realize that he would never change and that I wanted more than he could ever give me!
I also want you to understand that under no circumstance would I ever want to confuse readers by portraying that every single relationship circumstance is the same, nor is every man that happens to be a jerk a narcissist. The PROBLEM IS THIS: Narcissists are an elusive breed that are often very hard to spot, hard to pinpoint, hard to understand and EXTREMELY hard to walk away from! Narcissist are very deceptive, they are brilliant actors, and they seek relationships to fill a void. In both relationships, what I thought was an overly compassionate person was an overly damaged and controlling person in disguise. Even Mental Health experts find it extremely difficult to measure the level and degree of narcissism one might carry. My primary mission is to help you gain knowledge, to guide you through this pain, and to let you know that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE! After The Break Up With A Narcissist It’s Critical To Your Recovery To Know How A Narcissist Operates! How is it possible for a man who is so self absorbed, so detached from love and the real meaning of commitment, make his way into our lives. In my experience, narcissists have an uncanny ability to figure out what a particular woman wants in a man.
You’re led to believe this man is your soul mate, and more caring and compassionate than any man you have ever met. By first impression, when meeting a Narcissist you will often feel in total romantic bliss!
Through his brilliant and charming tactics, victims will often immediately feel an intense chemistry and connection. Not only does he effortlessly sweep you off your feet, he is unlike any man you have ever met.. A Narcissist knows exactly what you want to hear, he knows exactly what to say, and your often mesmerized by his ability to read your mind, and your thoughts. All in all, the Narcissist indirectly convinces you that he is in fact the complete package.
Without knowing what is happening, and without knowing his REAL motives, he sweeps you off your feet! When a narcissist reveals his true stripes, victims are shocked by his sudden drastic change in behavior. Yes, most of us, at some stage in our lives have been in a relationship that essentially went bad..
On the contrary, no one, including me, could ever prepare for the heartache and the pain you will eventually face with a narcissist. To Get Over The Break Up With A Narcissist & Free Your Mind From The Abuse, You Must Educate Yourself!
Step#1 – After the break up with a narcissist, most victim’s are left to believe this was their fault! If you are currently blaming yourself, if you are constantly obsessing over all the MANY things you could have done differently to prevent this break up, please STOP! Not only will this make matters worse, chances are, there is nothing you could have done different.
This is why often most victim’s have a very hard time getting over the break up with a narcissist. Not only so, for victim’s, being involved with a narcissist is a confusing state of affairs, to say the least.
The fact remains, narcissists know exactly what you want to hear, and exactly who you want them to be.
Trust me, I know this personally, and I have coached thousands of women who would also agree. In fact, narcissists have an uncanny ability to figure out what a particular woman wants in a man.
Perhaps as time slowly goes by, you notice his behavior, and the way he treats you drastically change.. Unfortunately, once a narcissist is victorious and secures the woman he has been chasing, the idealization phase of a relationship passes and reality sets in.
Yes, when a narcissist is trying to secure his new source of supply, (hence, his victim), there is nothing he will not do to impress her. It’s at this stage when the cycles of Narcissistic Devaluation sets in, and the real person behind the mask begins to emerge.
Step #2 – During the cycles of loving a narcissist, and especially after the ending, and the break up occurs, a narcissist always uses forms of punishment to control his victim’s!
As an example, in the beginning he never left your side, he constantly wanted to be with you, he looked for every reason to see you, and now he avoids you!
Yes, during this stage, the underside of the Narcissistic Personality coming beaming through. At this stage, the inevitable occurs – his criticisms, his recriminations and his humiliations are projected upon his partner.


Everything that you use to be admired for, are now the same reasons you find yourself being objectified. In such a case, reverse psychology is performed.  The narcissist which initially portrayed to be the ideal partner, the prince in shining armor, now uses taglines like ‘ I am no good for you or we are not good together’! The unfortunate reality is, when a narcissist is chasing after you, he uses every lure in his box. Step # 3 – After the ending of a narcissistic relationship, and the break up with a narcissist becomes a reality, victim’s are often left to believe something is wrong with them! A Narcissist’s biggest fear in life is to find himself in a mediocre, monotonous existence. As I state, the initial phases of attraction, infatuation and falling in love are pretty normal. He hid behind a mask of smoke and mirrors in order to obtain control of us and manipulate us to meet his never-ending child-like needs.  Once we learn to see the Narcissist for the person he really is, we are finally able to free ourselves. To recall your power, you should realize this has nothing to do with you, nor does it have anything to do with not being good enough! In reality, when a narcissist has fulfilled his conquest, and when he is completely convinced you love him, he will simply begin to lose interest. If discarded or replaced by a new source of supply, VICTIM’S should realize this is not about being replaced with someone who is perceived as BETTER!!! You must accept the fact that you were not an object of love to this person, but a pawn, a mere source of supply to feed their fragile ego; nothing more, but certainly nothing less. In the beginning of a relationship, every woman is sexy to a Narcissist because the thrill of the chase makes her enticing. Step #5 – To begin the journey of getting over a narcissist, and to mentally press forward after the break up with a narcissist, you must step away from the fantasy! While there are so many questions that run through your mind, and I address most of these common questions in my eBook, the reality is, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are rigid, they are ruthless, and they are incapable of feeling emotions. You should also know, that while narcissist rarely change, they also rarely seek treatment.
The relationship with a narcissist, will be forever one-sided, and the roller-coaster may have it’s highs, but you must be prepared for all the MANY lows! Not only is the narcissist a master of creating fantasy illusions for his victim’s, women spend entirely too much time wasting their lives while focusing on the WRONG man! You need to reach beyond the remorse, the pain, the feelings, the sadness, the disappointment! You must also remember, that when getting over a relationship with a Narcissist, it is not the same as with a healthy well-adjusted adult. When grieving a Narcissist, this pain is compounded by the reality that this person is not who you thought he was at all.  Thinking you know someone and then suddenly being confronted with a person you don’t even recognize is quite a shock to the system.
While this information is all critical to your recovery, just beware that unless my copyright of Surviving A Narcissist is located on what you are reading, it may be a re-packaged product, and something I nothing to do with. While my mission has, and will always be to help women recover from Narcissistic Abuse, I also feel that it’s extremely important that you be aware of what is out there. Inside My Informative eBook, Here Are Some Secrets You Will Learn That Will Help You Regain Your Power! In my eBook, I will show you strategies that will help you begin the process of regaining your power. After the break up with a narcissist, I will show you how to better understand and recognize what is happening, why it’s happening and ways to cope with the trauma and pain.
When coming out of a relationship with a narcissist, and the break up with a narcissist, the first thing we need to do is get real with ourselves about what happened in the relationship. In this e-Book, I will give you insight as to what is going on inside the narcissists mind.
I will also show you the dynamics of a narcissist and why the narcissist is incapable of loving, why the narcissist continues to come back, and why this relationship truly fits the modern-day roller-coaster.
I will address the crazy making of a narcissist and answer questions like, Why does the narcissist devalue & discard? In this book, I truly want you to GET REAL so that you can begin the path forward.  You need to understand who you are dealing with, and most importantly, why you deserve better! I will walk you through the what drives the sexual side of a narcissist and cover the Madonna Whore Complex.
I will help you understand why narcissist chase new sources of supply, and why it’s critical that you accept he will not change.
I show you simple ways in how you can cope with the fears you may experience, the break up and realize that FEAR is what keeps you from having POWER.
No, this is NOT easy… But I will help you explore ways of breaking your addiction with the Narcissist.You can get over a narcissist! I will show you why the best medicine against the narcissist is to focus on YOUR future, and your happiness.
It is my sincere hope and belief that the following steps inside my eBook, will help you understand what you experienced, process your pain, and heal. Out of the thousands who have responded, here are just a few of the testimonies I have received on the forum. Lisa, I could have never prepared for the brutal ending that I would later face with my ex Narcissist! Dear Lisa, Therapists and friends repeatedly told me during and after the relationship that my ex was a Narcissist (he is after all a VERY successful actor.) At the time, I did not understand, nor did my friends or even therapists, the magnitude of what narcissism is.
For now, it is important to understand that the only closure you can possibly hope for in a relationship with a Narcissist is the knowledge that this person is permanently disordered and disturbed.
In my experience, the absolute best revenge, and the absolute best way in getting over a narcissist break up, is to take control. This eBook will show you simple ways to channel your energy, and ways that will help you cope through the pain. You Will Also Discover Steps That Will Guide You Towards Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse & Ways That Will Help You Recover After The Break Up With A Narcissist!
In her book “The Chocolate Diaries,” Karen Linamen says, “When you and I are surprised by painful events, we can see these events as ‘senseless’ and ‘random.’ In the puzzle of life, they can feel like pieces that don’t fit. There will, in fact, come a day when you don't struggle to pull yourself out of bed and get yourself to work. Many victims feel haunted and tainted by the memories of what ‘use’ to be, and all the while knowing, it was never REAL! I have been there and I know first hand, what it feels like to be haunted by the guiding shadow of a damaged man.
My plan was to build awareness and help others recognize a narcissist before getting involved, and potentially getting hurt! We are often questioned, and sometimes embarrassed by the simple fact, “we cannot just GET OVER IT”! We want to spend our lives with a caring and compassionate man, and any sign of selfishness is a warning sign. All most instantly, I fell madly in love with him, and was certain we would spend the rest of our lives together.
I tell my story to provide insight into the mind of a narcissist.  It is important we understand how a narcissist thinks and just what motivates him.
Never before have you ever felt this type of intense bond with a man, and your life takes on a brand new meaning. You are convinced he is your soul mate, and he is everything you have always wanted in a partner, and more! His sweet little nothings (and most of the time they are), his endearing notes and cards, his flowers, and surprises for no special occasion always win the hearts of women. Never before have you encountered such a whirlwind of events that made you consciously know ‘He’s the one.
Most of us, have been in the terrible spot of knowing the person we had fallen for, was not who we expected. Once you begin to understand how a narcissistic abuser operates, and how a narcissist eventually discards his sources of supply, you will then begin the healing process. In the beginning they build the unsuspecting loved one’s self-esteem up to a point they had never experienced before, and then slowly, painfully and viciously the narcissist tears them DOWN! Sure everyone puts their best foot forward when initially dating someone; however, Narcissists go above and beyond this! There is no turning the clocks, and the man you feel in love with, will never be the same.. And the reality of knowing that once his conquest of obtaining your love has been achieved, the nightmare really begins!
The narcissist conjures up the tiniest mistake, or oversight to use as an opening for a major battle. The narcissist has learned from previous performances exactly what it takes to lure in his next catch, and will go to extreme measures in getting what he wants. Victim’s of Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes, and from all types of backgrounds. In the world of a Narcissist, this new form of Narcissistic Source of Supply is what drives him. Once you begin to truly REALIZE this is not about you, and it’s ALL ABOUT HIM, do you then begin to recover.
Once you understand how he must constantly change his source of supply, you will realize his rejection of you has NOTHING to do with you.
Keep in mind, this evaluation of theirs is totally subjective and not grounded in reality at all. Once you understand how the narcissist constantly change their sources of supply, you will realize their rejection, the high’s and low’s, being devalued or discarded has absolutely nothing to do with you! If he has discarded you for another woman, under no circumstance bargain yourself, or compare yourself to his new source. You must get past the web he created in the beginning of the relationship, and see things for what they really are. Not only so, women are far too willing to give the man in her life the almighty power of controlling her happiness. You need to kick your urge of wanting to settle for yet another sleepless round of fantasia! In a typical breakup, we grieve the loss of love, the pain of saying goodbye, the sadness of something wonderful ending, broken promises and halted dreams.


You Will Learn Ways That Will Help You Cope After The Break Up & Ways To Free Yourself From A Narcissistic Relationship!
To begin this process, I will show you why the narcissist behaves they way they do, and how you can better understand the mind of someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. The 6-Steps are designed to help victim’s channel their energy, and improve the recovery process.
Only by understanding the narcissist, do we realize we have suffered emotional abuse and trauma at the hands of the person we love. We will focus on the narcissists behavior, so that you may avoid being a target of future abuse.
I will uncover why it’s so hard for us to stay away from a narcissist and how to deal with the pain, the loss and the break up with a narcissist!
I will help you find ways to cope with the obsession you might experience, and provide simple outlets to help you begin your process of healing. If there is one thing the Narcissist sets out to do from day one is to control his victims.
I will show you why no contact is critical to your recovery, and offer continuous support via our online forum.
Eight months after leaving my narcissist husband I can say my life has improved unbelievably!!! The pain, the shock, the disgrace and worst of it all, no warnings and absolutely no closure. A time when I would painfully have to accept that the relationship I was holding onto for the past three years had come to its final destination. In fact, many victim’s continue to be selfless servants, unable to separate themselves psychologically from the narcissist. He will never change.  You must accept him for who he is and all his limitations or move on and create a new life for yourself.
As I read her book I was continually amazed how she was able to take this very complicated psychological construct and distill it down to its fundamental nature – illustrating it in a way that was easy to understand. You’re going to need friends with whom you can talk, cry, laugh and ultimately travel forward together out of this unhappy spot you’re in. On some days you tell yourself there has to be a deeper, darker reason this person broke up with you, and if you could just figure out what it is, there’s a chance the two of you could solve it and live happily ever after. You won't always want to take cover and curl up in the fetal position when someone has the nerve to mention your ex's name. He showered you with tons of attention, and seemed like the prince charming you’ve always read about?
He appeared more loving, and more sensitive to my needs and desires than any man I’ve ever met. Yes, after all the years of abuse, after years of trying, years of giving to a man, with hardly anything in return, I was calling it quits!
I was tired of being in a constant state of confusion, constantly depressed and most of all, I was tired of wondering and questioning myself.
I want to help you recognize a narcissist, the narcissists personality before he takes advantage of you. I found myself dumbfounded wondering what happened to the intense love they once had for me. His charm, his quick thinking, his enduring tactics, and the remarkable feeling we feel when falling for a narcissist, is unlike anything you’ve probably experienced. He is captured by her amazing talents, her brilliance, her sweetness, and any other personality trait he can hone in on. But now, he ignores you, he uses “silent treatment” to punish you, and you are left with the obsession of wondering WHY!
For obvious reasons of course, you desperately try to FIX the problem; however, you quickly discover that your attempts not only fail, they go unnoticed. He or she throws out empty accusations with vehemence as if they were the worst crime ever perpetrated.
While there has been speculation that narcissist feed off the weak, I firmly believe that the women who Narcissists are most attracted to, are far from being weak! His pursuit to conquer this new conquest motivates him, it keeps him alive, and makes him feel complete. With A narcissist – You will spend the rest of your life following the shadow of a man who is damaged by his narcissistic personality disorder! Again, this is why getting over a narcissist and the break up with a narcissist is so hard.
I’ve connected all the dots and realize that I couldn’t have changed the course of horrendous events that I was faced with earlier this year.
Through many of my readings on the subject, I learned it is much more, and my experience with a Narcissist is not unique; however, cannot truly be understood by anyone who has not experienced it for themselves.
As sad as it seems, as I think and reflect back, the relationship was merely holding on by life support, and had been for a very long time.Even though I can see this now, I was completely blinded by my love for him. He still lives rental free in my head to some degree, but guess what, I don?t care anymore. It is critical that you realize the advice I provide women is based upon my own personal experiences, as well as, years of research.
How long you’ve been together isn’t as important as the fact that you thought you were happy.
It’s natural to wrestle with events we don’t understand, and if your partner’s reasons for breaking up seem lame to you, you’re undoubtedly struggling to wrap your head around it all.
Especially if you’ve been so caught up in your now-defunct relationship that you’ve missed spending time with good friends, this is the time to reconnect.
On other days, you wonder if their lame excuse is really as deep as it gets, and you hurt over the idea that you must not have meant much to each other if they could walk away over something that trivial. The experience of my own personal pain from loving a narcissistic man, and the journey to recovery. Precisely for this reason, most narcissistic relationships evolve very quickly, and his motive of trying to speed up the sensation of attachment is secured.
In fact, narcissistic men live for the chase, and they are ALWAYS looking for bigger and brighter stars! In the mind of a narcissist, nothing short of having the best job, the best education, the highest ranking position, the best children, and the most perfect partner will do. The more comfortable the relationship becomes, and the more caring she becomes, the less enticing she is to him.
But what I found after being discarded and totally blind-sided, is that I was not his only victim! I was constantly going back and forth and it was wearing me down so much and took a toll on the kids as well. I can only assume the majority of my intense emotions were driven by the fact he had been my first everything. In addition, if there is one thing you should know, your happiness alone, will instantly get to a narcissist. You will only receive emails from Lisa about her latest topics, product updates and daily blogs. My website and forums provide women from around the world with comfort and advice on how to free themselves from a narcissist and a narcissistic relationship! Give yourself permission to run through the history of the relationship, to try and figure out where things went south.
Often times it is really more about where someone is in their lives, and just not being in a place to really accept love (for whatever reason), than anything you did or said. Let go and move forward, toward what you deserve … which is someone who sees you as beautiful, inside and out, and worth fighting for. Please note, that being discarded by a narcissist should not imply you were not the best, and thus the reason he lost interest. Despite how wonderful and amazing you truly are (and you are), the narcissist is NEVER satisfied! After reading that book; actually I read it 3 times within an hour to make sure I was actually reading correctly. It is the most comprehensible book I have read on the subject and I can relate so well to your experience.
I am laughing again, being there for my kids, holding head high and starting to really love myself, maybe for the first time in my life. I am not a doctor, psychologist, or licensed professional, and results may vary from woman to woman.
When we write about hurts that don’t make sense — especially as we explore connections between those hurts and other things in our lives (for example, our childhood, our health, other people we’ve dated, a particular season in life, or whatever), we often find ourselves less haunted by the randomness of it all. The fact remains, his mind never rests, and this ever changing shift of needing MORE, is simply a part of his mental makeup. I suppose what made it worse, is that after all the lies of telling me he loved me and how we would spend the rest of our lives together, he chose HER!
I would almost say I am grateful for all the pain this brought me, without it I would never have taken a closer look at myself gaining this knowledge and setting boundaries for my feelings and needs. He may write you poetry, takes you out for romantic dinners, whisk you off on fairytale vacations, and above it all..
Still I have some way to go to get really healed but I am considering it now being my life goal. Just take action and make sure your new endeavor is something unrelated to your past relationship. But even though it’s normal to find yourself obsessing over the whats, hows and whys of it all, this is not a place you want to get stuck.
Pursuing a new experience, goal, or skill is not only distracting, but it’s also a good reminder that there is life beyond your breakup. In other words, it may be an important stop on your journey back to joy, but don’t unpack your bags and sign a long-term lease. Either way, it was coming to an end and for the first time in my life, I was completely losing it.



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