Four words, four little words can be the difference between having a relationship or being in the friend zone forever. In my time here building Ex Boyfriend Recovery I have received close to 300 emails from different women, all with unique stories about their boyfriends and breakups. There seems to be a common misunderstanding that getting out of the friend zone is essentially the same thing as getting a boyfriend back.
If you are looking for something a little more in-depth that can give you the full steps to getting a boyfriend back then I would like to point you towards Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my ebook. I am going to tell you something that almost everyone else out there is afraid to tell you.
Why am I telling you this?Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? Because I want you to prepare yourself mentally for the possibility that you may not get him back. Make no mistake about it, I know what it is like to have feelings for someone and not be able to do anything about it. Since we are talking about ex boyfriends here you do have a certain advantage on your side. If this is going to work there are a certain amount of sacrifices that you are going to have to make.
The following quotation is a comment I received yesterday from a woman who has been actively freezing her ex boyfriend out using the no contact rule!
They have put their ex in an uncomfortable corner where he would no longer respond to their texts or calls. You see, for three days I was on the edge of my seat waiting for the call or text, almost expecting it. IMPORTANT- In order for the methods below to work to their fullest extent you must have implemented a 30 day no contact rule. This section is extremely important because it is going to teach you how your conversations should go with your ex.
The nice way to end a conversation with your ex is to start the conversation with him, hook him in the conversation. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. When I say that I am also planning a get away for few days then the immediate response I get is with whom.
I haven’t yet broken up with my boyfriend as he still has not given me enough ground to do that, hence not yet started with the no contact rule. As we do share a professional relationship as well should it be a good thing of agreeing to just a professional relationship rather than agreeing to being friends. And I reply him “I finally bought a new jeans that we’ve talked about months ago! Because he knows that I need new pants and he knows that the pants are expensive and months later,I can finally afford it. You have to start to build a new life apart from her to gain balance and also to have to have to attract her back. I accepted a place at a university in a different city and through Facebook was able to find my roommates for the coming September.
Before you entered into a relationship with your ex boyfriend you knew that deep down being clingy and needy was probably going to be a turn off to him but as you developed a deeper connection with him you couldn’t help yourself.
Now, I am not insinuating that you approached anything close to this when you broke up with your ex boyfriend I am just saying that I know what it’s like to be in love and I know that sometimes it can make you do some clingy or needy things. In this guide I am going to be talking about how you can recover from these clingy or needy things that occurred in your relationship with your ex.
I bet you weren’t expecting me to say that being clingy can have a positive aspect to it, huh? As it turns out there is a way in which being clingy and needy can be an attractive thing to men. So, if you have ever wondered what kinds of things a stage 5 clinger does to turn off a man then the section entitled, The Negatives Of Being Clingy, is going to be especially interesting to you.
Whenever you do research on women who are clingy or overly needy you often hear experts scolding them for that type of behavior.
To me if a girl gets a little clingy it means she really has strong feelings for me and I like that.
Whenever a girl exhibits clingy behavior like jealousy, constantly wanting to be around me and texting me a lot I kind of like it.
I want to tell you about what a girl can do to all of a sudden make those cute little clingy behaviors into overly clingy to the point where it becomes a turn off. One thing we have already established about me and most other men is that we like needy behavior but only to a certain extent.
Lets pretend that you and I are dating and at the beginning of the relationship you would exhibit the three clingy behaviors I mentioned above. Of course, as time went on I began to notice a gradual change in the intensity of these behaviors.
For example, any time you would get jealous you would get jealous to the point where you would start a huge argument and you wouldn’t trust me about anything.
You also became so clingy to the point where any time I would go into a room you would have to follow me in there. Of course, as our relationship grew deeper the texting ratio changed completely to a 3:1 ratio. You see, when most women search the internet for advice on clingy behavior most experts list out all the needy behaviors that you need to avoid but almost none of them do a good job of explaining WHY you need to avoid them. Imagine for a moment that you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you hear this buzzing around your head.
It is entirely possible that this is how your ex boyfriend viewed you in your relationship if you were too overbearing with how you texted him. One of the best ways to determine if you were a text gnat or not is to look at your last 100 text messages between you and your ex. If for example, the texting ratio ends up being something like 70:30 where you have sent him 70 text messages and he has only responded to 30 of those text messages then that probably means you are venturing into text gnat territory where you are becoming kind of overbearing. Someone who is a text gnat screams desperation and no guy wants a serious relationship with a woman who is desperate.
In fact, I remember a long time ago there was one girl who had such a crush on me that she would text gnat the heck out of me. She kept texting me to the point where it really started annoying me and I eventually had to say something to her.
Because she seemed totally desperate and if I am going to be attracted to anyone it was going to be a woman who is smart, independent and NOT desperate.
Now, a normal girlfriend should be excited about the prospect of going to a party with her boyfriend. Instead of being excited about the party you get angry at me for texting another girl and accuse me of cheating. You become so threatened by Tina that you forbid me to ever text another girl for the rest of my life. In my opinion, extreme jealousy has a direct correlation to a woman trying to control a man and nothing annoys a man more than a woman who tries to control him. I have only heard of one example of shadowing in my personal life but I have heard of multiple examples through this site which is why I know it exists. Shadowing- Becoming so dependent on another human being that you have to be around them all the time. If you are still a little confused when it comes to this concept don’t feel bad, it is a little complicated to grasp.
When I was in high school a very long time ago I knew a guy that would get angry at his girlfriend for the dumbest things.
When I heard this I was baffled at why he would have to accompany her if she simply wanted to leave the room. What we have here is a case of someone who is so insecure that he wouldn’t even let his girlfriend leave the room without him.
Some of the more common forms of shadowing I have seen is the classic invasion of alone time. Look, sometimes men need their alone time where you aren’t constantly badgering them with questions or the latest drama that went on at work. Think about it, if your ex wanted to have a guys night out with his friends but you insisted on tagging along you were harassing him with unwanted attention which is technically the same behavior a stalker engages in. If you were so insecure that you couldn’t even let him have an hour on his own to recharge his batteries then you are technically defined as a talker. That means that every day whenever I read your comments on this site I can kind of get bummed out because, to me, it sometimes feels as if all I see are failed relationships. In other words, I am basically saying that the only time I would hang around other girls is if my girlfriend (you in this imaginary case) was there. So, lets pretend that you are really insecure about other girls around me, even though I have proven to you multiple times that I am the most trustworthy man on the planet. In fact, you have become so insecure about other women that you constantly try to control me and basically order me to never talk to any of them ever again. In fact, most of the time by you controlling a man you push him to do the behavior you don’t want him to in the first place. Now that you have a pretty good idea of what clingy behavior is and why it annoys men lets take a look at what you are going to have to do in order to overcome that clingy behavior to have a chance at getting your ex boyfriend back.
Now, before I get started on explaining what I mean by these four pillars I feel it is very important to discuss the point of what we are trying to accomplish here. The point of this section is to show you what you have to do in order to achieve that goal.
If the main goal that we are trying to accomplish here is overcoming your exes impression of you then it is probably a really good idea to figure out what that impression is. For example, if you and I dated each other and I was constantly telling you how I hated the fact that you were always trying to control me then you would know that the clingy behavior that you would really have to work on is to NOT be controlling. In other words, what we are trying to do here is to figure out what behaviors you exhibited that needs to change for you to even have a shot of getting him back.


While I never actually was in a relationship with this person (I never even went a date with her actually) she exhibited some super clingy behavior from the get go that made me immediately want to not talk to her. Any time I wouldn’t respond to a text message she would send she would grow frustrated and berate me with insults.
I immediately classified her behavior as clingy and controlling and I did not want a presence like that in my life.
They call, text or skype their ex so much that it can sometimes go beyond regular clingyness.
If you need a refresher on how creepy this can be take a look at the very first picture I posted on this page of the woman who called her ex 77,000 times after her breakup with him.
A year or two ago one of my friends told me something really interesting about relationships. By being clingy and needy with phone calls or texts you are playing right into what they already believe is going to happen. If I am being completely honest with you it annoys me when I see women begging for their exes back because to me that means they don’t know their own value.
So, rather than playing right into what he already believes is going to happen after a breakup (you getting all clingy with phone calls) I would recommend that you do the exact opposite of that.
By doing a no contact rule for either 21 or 30 days (depending on the situation) you are going to accomplish two things. If you guessed the girl who tries to get her boyfriend back when he is not that angry then you guessed right.
I am going to be talking about this a lot more in-depth in the next section but for now I can give you a little teaser of whats to come.
While you are using the no contact rule to give your ex time to cool down you can also be using it as a way to get rid of your clingy habits and reshape your image so that your ex no longer views you as clingy. Self improvement is key if you don’t want to be looked at as clingy or needy anymore.
It’s funny, I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and noticed one of those overused motivational quotes that always seem to get shared. However, when you sit down and really peel back the layers you will find that, that quote has a flaw. Well, I take offense to that because I personally believe that self improvement should be something every human being should strive for. Now, I am not saying you should compromise your morals or do something your not comfortable with but I think it is completely ok to want to be a better version of yourself. Since this is a page dedicated to eliminating neediness lets focus on how you can improve yourself if your neediness is tied directly to your own insecurities. For example, we often get overly jealous because we are afraid our significant other might cheat on us.
I mean, you can try to turn your feelings off as much as possible but in the end we are all human beings and not robots. So, what I would like to teach you is the method I try to employ when dealing with my own personal insecurities.
I would have to say that without a doubt the biggest insecurity I have when it comes to relationships would be the fear of being cheated on. The very next day I found out that she started dating another guy, someone who she had been pursuing since I started pursuing her.
While she didn’t cheat on me it was my first experience with deception and I did not like how it felt. As I gained more experience in dealing with the opposite sex I learned more and more about how women could sometimes use deception to get away with things. Unfortunately, this site doesn’t help that insecurity at all when I come face to face with infidelity on a daily basis. However, I figured out an excellent way to deal with this insecurity so it doesn’t make me exhibit clingy behavior. You see, the fear of infidelity can sometimes cause you to get jealous over unnecessary things.
Whats even better is that I am using my insecurity to force me to set that type of high standard. You see, as long as I keep that standard so far out of reach for other men I have nothing to worry about because my significant other would literally have to be an idiot to stray. However, as you fell deeper into the relationship you slowly but surely started losing your hobbies.
Thought 1- It’s sweet that you can fall so deeply in love with someone that their passions become yours. Thought 2- It’s dangerous to fall so deeply in love that you lose yourself in that person.
So, this new version of the page is going to focus a lot about how YOU can get out of the friend zone if you have been placed there by an ex.
It’s a place that we have all put someone in the past and a place that we never want to be. You see, in the example I gave above (where I asked the girl to the dance) I was at a disadvantage because the girl had no romantic feelings for me at all.
These sacrifices won’t be easy and even as I write these words I am sure that 90% of the people reading this page will fail to do them.
You know, that little rule that says you can’t talk to your ex in any way shape or form for 30 days? It was exciting to be left in suspense like that but all the excitement left the moment my hypothesis was confirmed and she texted. I actually wrote an entire section in The Texting Bible outlining the benefits of texting vs. One method will be for women whose ex boyfriends have contacted them during the no contact period and the other method is for women whose boyfriends didn’t. Anyways, the point of all this is that it probably won’t take a lot to get your ex to respond to your first contact text. Your text needs to have substance and it needs to force him to reach back in his mind and think of something positive. So, how do you get him to respond to a text message when deep down you have a feeling that he wants nothing to do with you.
However, our main objective is just to get him to engage in a text messaging conversation with you because it is a sign that he is interested in what you have to say.
However, the probability that you will get a response is very high so make sure you have something prepared. I would actually wait one hour from the moment that he responds before you respond to his text messages.
While I plan on going as indepth as I can here nothing will ever compare to the detail that I use in the bible here. The thing about men is that a certain part of their attraction towards women is very predictable. You just become something that he can’t have by dominating every texting conversation you have with him. You get engaged in a conversation with your ex, you get to the hooking point of the conversation and then you end the conversation abruptly making him want more.
For one, he is going to be checking his phone multiple times, which will reinforce to him that you are important. I have stopped calling and messaging myself, instead I get calls from him everyday to which I talk normally. How do I myself not become insecure and instead start with the chase game and be a mental challenge to him, as, if I am not wrong then men need that mental challenge. Its like as if he is saying I want to try someone else to know your value and he is asking permission from me for that so that he is never termed as a cheater. It feels like he wants to move out and try and be with the other girl but also wants to keep me as a backup option. Should i go ahead and say that ” i cant negate my feelings from being in a relationship to being just friends? Will behaving like i dont give a damn and dont care for you at all will leave an impression that I am egoistic mean and the care i used to show previously was fake to my ex boyfriend? Lately he has started feeling we cannot have a future together as I am not single as I have a kid from first marriage and there will be a strong resistance from people who are his family.
We got together when he was graduating from university and he wanted to take a break before looking into a job in his field. DO no contact and build your own life to give you chance that he may see you in a new light. So I have read through these pages and I feel as though my situation deviates slightly from the examples given.
This fact was evidenced when I opened up my Facebook Page one afternoon and saw this meme posted by one of my subscribers,Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
Essentially, what I am shooting for here is a way to wipe your slate clean with your ex so that you can give yourself the best shot of getting him back. In this section I am going to talk a little about that but I will also be giving you the low down on all the negatives that go along with being clingy and needy. In fact, your jealousy got so bad that at one point you literally forbade me to talk to anyone of the opposite sex. It is rare to find someone who will explain why men react badly to clingy behavior but I am going to because I am a man and I know how I would react if someone got overly needy.
They want a serious relationship with a woman who is confident enough to know that she actively chose to be with a guy. As our relationship wears on I begin to notice that you get jealous any time I mention another girl. In fact, if you ever catch me texting another girl throughout our relationship you threaten to break up with me. In some cases it is so extreme that you can’t even let them leave a room without you going by their side. I remember he once told me that when he was over at her house she left the room without him.
We need time to recharge sometimes before we can consume everything you want us to consume.


If you feel the need to accompany him everywhere he goes then that is a form of shadowing and he isn’t going to appreciate it. Lately, in an effort to change this I have been reading up a lot about the most successful relationships so I can get some positivity back in my life which in turn will help me give out better advice. Whenever I am in a relationship with someone I don’t let anyone threaten that relationship. I feel this is an extremely rare quality in men now-a-days and it also says a lot about my character. Well, below you will find a graphic that i put together that will teach you how to overcome his reservations about taking you back because of your clingy nature. However, once the relationship has already commenced then the women take over from there and do everything in their power to keep the relationship going. In other words, they grow lazy and spoiled and get used to women doing everything for them.
Well, I am of the mind that giving your ex space (after you have been clingy) is the smartest thing you can do.
Of course, when you shower a man with constant attention that attention is going to lose some of its value over time because he is going to get used to it. The no contact rule is perfect for giving your ex boyfriend time to cool down which in turn is going to increase your chances to seem less clingy and also get him back.
How about the fact that a lot of women don’t believe they are good enough for their boyfriends so they shower them with too much attention which can be viewed as clingy. In fact, I became so frightened of being deceived that I started plotting out worse case scenarios in my head and trying to figure out if I would be able to survive if it ever occurred to me. You see, it has the ability to make you a little paranoid and that can be extremely unhealthy. This means that for me I can sometimes get touchy when other men are introduced into the equation around my relationship. It’s not ok to just stop something that you love (your hobbies) to make room for all of your boyfriends or husbands hobbies. We were in an on & off again relationship becaus, simply put, I was needy, clingy, controlling while he has always been uncertain about me.
Now, since you are on this page I am assuming that your ultimate goal is to get your ex boyfriend back. Ultimately, the decision on whether he should take you back or not is up to him, not me or you.
The ones that I see fail time and time again are the ones that are overly emotional and can’t accept that life may have to go on without their ex significant other. Your case is a little different because your ex boyfriend has already demonstrated that he does have romantic feelings towards you. If you look through my site you will see that almost on every page I mention it’s significance. Now, can you imagine how different that situation would have gone if she would have just waited a full 30 days before texting me? Secondly, technically you never ended the conversation so you can always start back up whenever you want and it won’t be weird! But the growing friendship with the other girl and the ongoing parties and hanging out at odd timings with her though in groups bothers me.
I feel as if i am the backup option where he is trying his luck with that girl and at the same time does not want to lose me as well as if nothing is gained over there then he atleast has me besides him. We had been talking afterwards because he wanted to be friends but I still had feelings for him so I started NC almost a month ago.
The first few months were really great and then he betrayed my trust siginificantly (not by cheating with anyone but rather lying to me about some stuff).
My girlfriend broke up with me 5 months ago because she wasn’t sure about our relationship anymore. Things moved very fast and although he was lovely in the beginning (we spoke constantly, he told me that he really liked me and we would Skype all the time) it became apparent that he had awful mood swings which he did to be fair warn me of – he could go from wanting to Skype me for five hours to not wanting to speak at all. You see, as a man I can tell you that, as weird as this is going to sound, I like a woman to be a little clingy or needy. On top of that you would literally get angry if I wouldn’t respond immediately to your texts. However, if you have become so clingy or controlling that you literally have to go with them from room to room then that is a big issue. So, when you think back to you and your exes fights what was it about you that he was complaining about that could be classified as clingy. As a result, when a breakup occurs they almost expect that YOU are going to be the one that contacts them first begging for a second chance. So, rather than getting overly jealous I am always telling myself that I am setting such a high standard that no other man can compare.
The break up struck me as a surprise because a few months before that he was telling me how he’d marry me. Now, he may have lost his feelings towards you which is why he broke up but don’t worry because I am going to give you the tools you need to reignite his feelings for you. If that doesn’t tell you how important I think it is then perhaps a few website visitors can convince you. This morning at 7am I received a text from him that said “do not respond to this, but I miss you”. I am not saying this behavior is bad I am just saying that you can’t expect to get back on your ex boyfriends radar doing this. It will take amazing discipline but it might increase the chances of him engaging you in a conversation.
For example, if you are a Republican and he is a Democrat do not dominate him in the conversation to the point where he changes party affiliations, that’s just scary. The breakup was because of his school, he’s very stressed a lot of the time and said he felt guilty for not spending time with me. Then began working on a website to show on job interviews and well in the 2-3 weeks before he broke up with me our relationship was a little strained because he spent so much time working on it. We met a few months ago, flirted with each other, and then sort of became FWB (terrible idea, I know…) At the time he was just a crush, but of course I developed feelings for him. In the begining of the break up we argued all the time so after a few months we did a few weeks of no contact but I couldn’t resist it to text her after 20 days of not hearing her. I liked that you wanted to be around me all the time and I also liked that you texted me a lot. However, three days later she texted and in my mind at that moment she lost her value to me.
Don’t worry though, I am going to do my best to lay out this method in the simplest manner possible so you can understand exactly what you need to do. However, if you really stop to think about it, while the writing is great and the plot twists come out of nowhere, it is really the shows ability to keep you coming back for more that makes it so interesting.
One day he basically ignored me the entire day and worked on his computer (I lived at his place).
He kept saying he liked me but wasn’t in love with me and eventually I decided to stop having sex with him. The rest of our relationship resulted in several fights of me questioning his intentions and needing a constant reassurance from him that he wanted to be with me. After the breakup, we still talked and saw each other regularly in a platonic setting… basically on a weekly basis.
And after the break up he admitted to a mutual friend that he is spending all of his time with friends and not taking the time alone to come to terms with the break up. Hold on with the the NC ladies, it’s one of the hardest things, but after three days I already had him admitting that he misses me! I wasn’t expecting him to ignore me the whole entire day, so I got upset with him at night. By Marlon Raye ? Filed Under: Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Should You Write A Letter To Your Ex Boyfriend?It always cracks me right up to see the way that relationships are shown in movies or in TV shows and just how unrealistic their view of the world of love and romance is.
He comforted me and told me how important it is for him to finish because he really wants to have a job in his field. Now he just treats me like a friend and I have the feeling that he kinda takes me for granted because I keep doing things for him and never ask him for anything. I put out the olive branch on 3 separate occasions that I am open and wanting to start SLOWLY trying to work on us.
Days went by and he continued working on it like crazy and rarely spent time with me, but I didn’t complain. It was too painful to be friends, and if he didn’t want to put in the effort to save us, I needed to take a break from him to move on. He told me this past year he has done nothing with his life (geez thanks!) and needs to be alone and start fresh and get his life into gear. Is it okay to tell him in advance I won’t be responding to his messages or should I simply ignore them if I receive them? He cried and said he understood it was unfair to me, but he didn’t want to not have me in his life. Writing him a letter in this situation can just lead to further arguments by phone, e-mail or text, so you’re usually best to just wish the other person well and get on with your own life. Nobody likes to get a list of things they did wrong and reminding somebody how wrong they were can be enough to make them avoid you for the rest of their lives.Why not just send a text message instead? I told him he was trying to keep all of the positive parts of our relationship without facing the challenges. Well you can send a text message if you like but you’re limited in what you can say in them and you might have to send 20 or 30 text messages to get the whole message across. I told him it’s because he has been so busy and we rarely spend any time just us two. He is hanging out with his friends constantly (he used to hang out with them max once a week when he was with me.



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