A while back my sister arrived for a family get-together and remarked, “Your mad laughter is missing. My mind trailed back to my childhood and teenage years and showed me images of a girl who could laugh easily, loudly, and madly. Somewhere along the line I had lost my ability to laugh—truly laugh, with wonder and without worry. Reading Tiny Buddha’s 365 Love Challenges emphasized for me how self-love is the beginning of the expression of love toward everyone else in our world. So, after a few more observations from people who thought I mattered enough to give me feedback about my attitude, I decided to observe my thoughts and myself.
I began to think of what made me feel better, and what helped me keep the feeling longer, so I could get my smile back. I started paying attention to my body. My health had a big effect on my mood, and vice versa. Things like procrastinating made me feel bad about myself, so I kept up my schedule with greater caution. Your body is constantly giving you signals even when you are trying hard to ignore it, so start paying attention. Develop the mindset to look for solutions, and avoid “if-only” thinking, since this only keeps you stuck. There is a whole lot of science about dressing the part, so pick colors that will soothe and accentuate you own personality. The simple act of following a ritual—any ritual—gave me a sense of stability and grounding. Following a ritual that aligned with my beliefs and values made me calmer and more in control over other areas in my life.
I chose the ritual of mantra chanting before having my first meal in the morning, and that uplifted me immensely, giving me the assurance that I could change other areas of my life too. True to this, smiling at strangers while standing in a queue or during a walk made me look beyond my world.
Take time to do things that give you more scope for “happy-time,” like seeking the company of children, listening to music, dancing, cooking, reading, cleaning—anything that makes you feel like yourself. Make time for your old friends, your parents, your friends’ parents, and siblings—anybody who has been a part of your past who sees the best in you.
Formerly, I had the tendency to show indifference to people with whom I was angry (and not necessarily engage in a war of words or palpable anger). There are hundreds of studies to show that kindness can impact your brain in a powerful way and increase your feeling of connectedness.
After accidentally discovering my passion for writing about three years ago, I continued to put up with a stressful job and kept putting off my plans to start doing something that filled my soul. If you are on the brink of a major decision, making it one way or the other will be a great emotional leveler.


Every time I felt angry with somebody, it was because I associated something negative with him or her.
I started consciously associating positive things with them, like remembering the skill they are really good at or the one time they helped me or somebody else, and the negativity seemed to melt away. So, the next time you are really annoyed with somebody, try remembering a nice thing about him or her. Everyone—that includes yourself and the people that hurt you—is only standing at one single point in the huge learning curve of life, and our actions spring from what we are exposed to from that particular vantage point. Understanding this was a huge milestone for me in learning forgiveness.
To sum it up, for renewed happiness: Invest in yourself, take time to understand yourself, be gentle to yourself, do the things you love and, most importantly, give yourself time to heal, no matter how much it hurts! Quality suggestions, whenever I feel like I’m in bad moods it is because of something I can change.
I love how you talked about changing your focus from looking for something to blame to searching for a way to fix the problem!
Changing your focus is one of the simplest things you can do to make big changes in your life! DisclaimerThis site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. I hate to admit it, but Twitter is saturated with bots, spammers and every single kind of business from here to Tokyo. Twitter has been great because it adds a value to my life I just can’t get from other services. But, I’ll admit, with all the junk floating around I find it laborious to sign on, check someone’s feed and do a through evaluation of their personality traits every time I get a “new follower” update in my inbox.
Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point that I can tell pretty much everything I need to know about you from the graphic in my e-mail. My primary use of Twitter is for professional development and staying connected with others in my field. With that said, the little graphic that ends up in my e-mail is basically your cover letter. Sorry FernGuyz87, but after a while I WILL forget your name was George from that conversation we had 10 months ago. I hate to sound like a marketer, but your ratio of the number of people you follow compared to the number of people who follow you does matter a bit. Instead of spending more time understanding ourselves, we indulge in self-bashing, self-abuse, and harsh judgments about ourselves.
I also learned to avoid over-scheduling myself so I didn’t have things piling up, making me feel inefficient and inadequate.
If things did not go as planned, I consciously avoided looking to fix the blame and looked at fixing the problem. Wearing well-fitted clothes, clothes that I liked, made me look better and, therefore, feel better about myself almost instantly.


Here I was, bashing myself for being angry and hurt, and feeling even more angry and hurt for not being able to control it, but a simple conversation with my father reminded me that I wasn’t always this way. Kindness is not restricted to a physical exchange; even a gentle conversation over the phone or a kind email made me significantly happier.
But making up my mind and letting go felt like I was clearing stale clutter and starting afresh in my mind. Of course, it kept coming back, but the more I countered it with positive thoughts, the less power it seemed to have. There is really nobody in the world who hasn’t been hurt or let down by somebody they trusted, or at least wishes they had been treated differently.
The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Where else can you just poof have a conversation with a major CEO, or managing editor, or a long-revered photojournalist? I have a few friends, but I’m just not the ‘let’s live tweet the season premiere of XYZ’ kind of guy. Give your title, or perspective title, who you are, and (indirectly) why you’d be interesting to follow. Studies have shown that our external expressions act as a continual feedback loop reinforcing our internal emotions. The fact that he remembered it so fondly made me like myself. It made me want to let go and try again.
It’s good that you had some caring people in your life to help you realize what was going on.
And then I blamed myself for feeling miserable, because strong people don’t waste time feeling miserable, do they?
Twitter is more informal to platforms like LinkedIn, allowing users to have normal, day-to-day type communications and get to know some interesting people that may not have otherwise met. Obviously, the more friends we mutually follow (and that follow each of us) shows you’re a cool cat and we can be friends. The main thing is, though, that is a quick indicator that you’re looking at a junk, spam or bot account.
If you’re new to the game play around and talk to some random people before you try and get a follow back from your idol.



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