Nothing ticks me off more than using clergy spouses for ulterior purposes or as an issue in an evaluation.
Boundaries are critical in all relationships – perhaps not more important than here in clergy-congregation relationships. Sometimes you have to set those boundaries, even if it includes looking at your boss and respectfully letting him know he will not cross a line regarding your spouse. This is the main problem with allowing women to take positions of authority rather than men. Once you attach the title of minister or pastor to a woman in the context of the church, it us a departure from God’s order. Perhaps if men were afforded the respect scripture describes then more men would be willing to be more participative.
So, she can do the same work, just so long as she has a different title, and that’s ok? And also, she should probably not be ordained, or recognized and supported and blessed by her home church, right? Of course, there are horror stories aplenty of men who handle this properly and still have to leave their present ministry. Some of the most incredible outpourings of love and care from our church family have come after a hurtful incident such as family members being unduly criticized. These things worsen when we as men do not step up to the plate with courage for our family members.
I believe that those who appointed by God they will always conquer,as they will seek Him for answers in every situation they are facing,critics will be always present. Thankfully, the Lord has now allowed my husband to pastor a small church where he is loved and supported by the elders and deacons. I almost made the same mistake because all I wanted following Bible College was to serve in ministry.
What about pastors who have their spouse as the children’s pastor, or in another role that reports directly to them?

For the fourth consecutive year, the Xcel Energy Center hosts the Stanley Cup Playoffs in Saint Paul.
Nobody knows what kind of animal Nordy is--according to his official roster biography, he was found skating open lakes near Eveleth, Minnesota. If you have a group traveling to see the playoffs, you can get even closer to a wild encounter. Regardless of how the Stars series ends, this has been one hell of a season for the Wild--for better and for worse.
These are the spouses of executive pastors, youth pastors, children’s pastors, lead pastors, and others. We want you to be aware of them so you can offer ministry, encouragement, and friendship to spouses of those who serve in the church. Some church members don’t know how to interact with ministry spouses, so they ignore them altogether.
How often folks have asked and asked for someone to step up to the plate to work with teen boys or children in general and no MAN would come forward, he was too busy or that was not his calling, etc.
I do not allow at my organization spouses to be in the same department, but your situation seems clear and clean.
Though young, having been in full time vocational ministry for 6 years, I have seen this reality play out in my own family.
Gangsters used Saint Paul as a safe haven from law enforcement in the 1930s, and some had the guts to rob banks in Minneapolis and return to safety in Saint Paul. The great tragedy was when the head of the personnel committee told her that her husband was about to be fired. Upon informing him her husband was not in, the elder asked her questions about the upcoming elders’ meeting. It is beyond belief how many church members expect a model of behavior for the minister’s family well beyond expectations of their own families.
Our feminized culture has moved so far away from Christ that it has become normal to ignore scriptural sex roles in favor of our secular matriarchy.

If only Dangerfield had been privy to the wisdom of Meryl Runion, author of Speak Strong and Power Phrases, he might have received the respect he so ardently sought, and wound up as a butcher or barber instead of an iconic comedian. When the wife was not able to answer, the elder complained about her lack of knowledge about what was going on in the church. The worship leader, however, was pretty thick-skinned, and moved forward despite the criticisms. When the critics saw they were not making progress with the worship leader, they began to attack his wife with their issues. We mainly took the position because my husband was finishing up Bible college, and this position served as his internship, but we really felt that the Lord could use us there, and we hoped to stay on after his graduation. This reminder can serve as a reminder to all of us that ministry is important but it cannot trump one’s family. But the constant criticism of my choices – not on the right committees, not involved in the right ministries, etc.
She went into deep depression, and the worship leader ultimately left the church for his wife and family.
Spouses and children must come first, they are the first people that we are called to minister to. So when I knew they were headed to the Pastors home I would call ahead and ask her and the kids to go out with me just to get them out of the war path. Honestly, as a ministry wife, I would say we have been hurt more by other church leadership than by congregants.

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