Sometimes accompanied by a well-thought-out joke or anecdote that might look breezy, but probably took you at least half an hour to come up with. And those who painstakingly check every letter so hard that they could easily pass their English GCSE with such a paragraph. You might go in there with good intentions, telling yourself you only want to buy a bag of cheese and onion crisps, but you’ll come out with two different flavours of vodka.
The conversation has most definitely come to its awkward bitter end, and yet your drunken brain tells you it’s a brilliant idea to start a new one.
Somewhere, when vodka meets common sense and knocks it out cold, you will suggest you meet up.
Your phone buzzing in the middle of the night might send you into panic mode, but don't fret. As much as you love hearing from your friends, a late night, incoherent message is the last thing you need when you're trying to get some decent shut eye. We've all been there: You're newly single, still reeling from the sting of being dumped by your ex -- and desperately trying to avoid texting him or her. But let the texts in the slideshow below be a warning to you -- though it's tempting to text, those post-split conversations never go as planned.
Feel free to mix and match in the event that you miss hating your ex, but really just want to make some money off that feel. Before I begin the thankless, never-not-mortifying task of discussing late night texting etiquette, I must first declare this a shame-free space. I will say, however, that I get a sick pleasure out of being on the receiving end of texts of the "u uppP?"-ilk. After the recovering from the initial flattery of him having want to "sex me up," I experienced mortification. There are apps you can buy that make you solve complex math problems to make sure you're sober enough to text, but I'm not so sure I like this. Of course, it's always good to have friends around to stop you from late-night texting or tweeting or emailing or Facebook messaging. I just hope that if I work on myself in the daytime -- acknowledging what I want, who I want, and how I feel about myself at any given moment -- this sort of thing will happen less in the nighttime.

There are plenty of ways to tell whether your buddy is in need of help — or if they're just a boozehound. Powered by its own proprietary technology, Mashable is the go-to source for tech, digital culture and entertainment content for its dedicated and influential audience around the globe. That is, before they blocked you on social media, and were down to snapchat you some nudes. I find that you have to be so careful and plan everything so you don’t sound too needy or available. That is, we must all agree that no one late-night texts elegantly, or eloquently, or respectably, and that's fine. I really feel that humans should learn discretion on their own and that we should opt for self-reflection over app algorithms, even if this means that mortification after mortification must transpire before our behaviors can actually change. We, as humans, are allowed the time and space to be reckless with our words, even if doing so makes us want to die the next afternoon when we wake up, groggily pull our phone out from under whichever limb it was wedged and see the (textual) damage we've done. It's important to take precautions on your own, like deleting toxic numbers (belonging to old flames or, you know, professors) that you're likely to abuse. To talk about late-night texting etiquette is to talk about flimsy sober intentions, so weak they crumble after one whiskey sour and a guy who has the same name as your ex. And I'm pretty sure I've gotten to the bottom of it: I don't properly express myself during day-to-day life, when my feelings are sober and the sun is still out.
When you habitually keep your emotions bottled up and secret -- I don't like the way he's been treating me, I want to sleep with him, I wish my mom would stop nagging me about grad school applications -- it's more than likely they'll come out when your inhibitions are loosened, and hey, your phone's right there in your bra so why not get it (plus all those feelings) off your chest? Mind you, this was from a guy I'd met on Tinder when researching this handy dating app quiz. I once deleted a guy's number only to find myself, one drunken Friday's eve, overcome with the urge to text him.
So I went on Twitter and tweeted at him, unknowingly inventing the Booty Tweet, asking him what he was up to. The next morning, I only noticed I'd done this when I went on Twitter to tweet a New York Times article on the AIDS epidemic in Africa.
Which means that at the end of the day, when it comes to mortification in the form of regrettable, drunken electronic communication, the only real rule you must stick to is one of self-love and acceptance and humor.

I know that in the future, however, there will be times when I want to respond and will respond. Your job is to identify booty calls and just say no.You may not be the only one getting the text.
I’ve seen couples get into huge fights because a rumor spurred an angry text that was totally unwarranted. The problem is that so little is risked, it often doesn’t move the ball forward much. Facebook to start, texting from there, and Google search once you’ve got a date set up.
And if a guy was willing to do the phone thing, he was willing to put in the time before sex. Texts thanking someone for a date, asking if they’re feeling better, how the interview went, etc. Calibrate your level of contact to his, and don’t initiate texts more than half the time.
Whether you’re discussing the possibility of dating, having an argument, or breaking up, texting is a terrible way to discuss important issues. I have seen many women seek the opinions of their friends for help in interpreting intent or meaning, and they’ve usually turned out to be wrong.
You have no way of knowing if he’s busy, mad or indifferent based on a one word text response or even a failure to reply.
If you go out with friends, and the guy you like texts, you can meet up, make a plan or agree to talk later.

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