Every single day I get hundreds of comments, emails and Facebook messages on my Facebook Page asking me all kinds of questions about the no contact rule.
Of course, time is a great equalizer and pretty soon answering the same questions over and over again began to wear on me. For example, I am guaranteed to answer the following three questions pretty much every single day. One of the most annoying things for me when I write about relationships is that no two relationships are ever alike. The no contact is not immune to this principle as evidenced by the many different situations that can accompany it.
In fact, I often find myself wishing there was some sort of cheat sheet I could point people to so that all their NC questions could be answered in a snap.
UNTIL NOW!Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
Hopefully a lot of you who are reading this page are already aware of my E-Book, The No Contact Rule Book. About a year ago I came to the conclusion that I need to put something together for people who were embarking on the long arduous journey of implementing the no contact rule. So, I put together this monster book (that’s almost as long as Harry Potter) to explain and outline the entire process of the no contact rule. Imagine that you are about to embark on the incredibly hard task of implementing a period of no contact on your ex boyfriend. Now, before we start dissecting these items one by one I feel it is important to mention that I want this particular guide to be completely comprehensive.
I want you ladies to be involved in this process so we can create the ultimate cheat sheet for people who have questions about no contact.
In this section I am going to assume that you have no knowledge what-so-ever on what the no contact rule is. The No Contact Rule- A period of time (which you select) in which you completely ignore your ex in every way imaginable. Probably what you want to hear is how the no contact rule can help you if you decide to use it.
Lets say that your boyfriend broke up with you because you were a little too clingy during your relationship.
Now, if you did a good job reading my site you would know that I am a fan of the 30 day no contact rule for most cases (21 days in some cases.) So, you decide that you are going to implement a month long no contact period where you completely ignore your ex by essentially freezing him out of your life. Now, since you were clingy he is probably expecting you to contact him first after the break up. This has been the first time that you have ever ignored him and all of a sudden he begins to see your value. By ignoring him you are proving to him that you know your own value and that you don’t need him to be happy. One of the best insights I can give you about men is the fact that we all want to feel needed or wanted. Now that you have a better idea of what the no contact rule is lets take a look at how to handle it during some of the most complicated situations.
When you are with someone for a long time it is normal for the two of you to swap items here and there. For example, lets say that your boyfriend has an apartment and you still live at home with your parents (no judgement here.) Lets also say that you dated your boyfriend for well over a year. The question on the table right now is how do you approach this situation if you are in the middle of a no contact rule. In my mind there are really two different approaches on how to handle this and it all depends on what situation you find yourself in. Well, is it him asking for his things back or is it you that wants your things back from him? In a perfect world you would have left items with him that you wouldn’t have really cared about. Remember, a perfect no contact is one where you don’t have to break your silence for anything. Lets say that the items you left with your ex mean a lot to you and you absolutely need them back. Lets talk a little about how you should approach seeing him in person when you do go to get your things. Don’t let him know that anything is wrong with you or that you are even hurt about the breakup.
Because it’s going to make him realize that being without you is not a very good feeling. If your ex boyfriend calls you up one day and asks you if he can have his things back during the no contact rule this kind of paints you in a corner where you are going to have to break the no contact rule to give him his things back. Well, with the situation above you had the privilege of choosing whether or not your things were important enough to take back. The no contact rule pretty much hinges on the fact that you are supposed to completely freeze out your ex for a certain amount of time. When I first wrote about the no contact rule I didn’t really think that much about the many different situations that you could encounter if you were to do something like this.
Of course, it wasn’t until I started getting comments that I started to realize that for many people the no contact rule can be quite challenging. I mean, what if you are going to school and you have a bunch of classes with your ex so you are forced to see him?
As a general rule of thumb I would just say that you should assume that any man you meet is the most shallow person ever.
Well, you are going to be seeing your ex on a daily basis if you work with him so you really have two choices on how to approach the situation.
Now, just using your common sense what do you think most men are going to find more attractive? If you feel you could lose a few pounds then get your butt to the gym and lose those pounds. I want your ex to be unbelievably attracted to you every single time he sees you in person. Because if you can get him to think of you like that AND you are using the NC rule on him he is going to want you even more and that puts the ball in your court. The no contact rule strictly states that you can in no way have any contact with your ex boyfriend during the time period you have implemented the rule. I mean, you and your ex were employed to do a job and that job was to help your company make money. Well, in the case where you are forced to interact with your ex for work I want you to keep things strictly business. Lets say that you do an amazing job of keeping things strictly about your work but unfortunately your ex starts engaging you on more general topics. This is another one of those topics that I really didn’t think much about when I wrote about the no contact rule initially.
Of course, the ladies visiting this site were quick to point out the issue with this and no contact.
Ok, now that we have the pleasantries out of the way lets take a look at how you should approach the no contact rule if you have a child with your boyfriend.
Lets say that you have a child with your ex boyfriend and you have decided to use NC on him. Now all of a sudden you are having this debate in your head on whether or not you should break no contact so you can tell your ex when he can see his son next.
The only time you can break the no contact rule in the case where you have a child with your ex is if you have to communicate with your ex about that child.
Going through a break up when you live with your boyfriend has to be one of the most disheartening feelings ever. I mean, one moment everything in your relationship is going great and the next you feel like an outsider in your own home.
So, the question on the table right now is how are you supposed to approach no contact if you find yourself in a position where you have to live with your boyfriend? Lets take a moment and talk about some of the changes you are going to have to make if you live with your ex boyfriend. Now, if he is a gentlemen he would probably opt to sleep on the couch without starting any type of fight over who is going to sleep where. Of course, most men out there aren’t gentlemen and will opt to get into a massive argument on who will sleep where rather than just taking the hit and sleeping on the couch themselves. You are going to be tempted to feel sorry for yourself, sulk throughout the house, sit in a corner and cry or even cry so hard that you can’t even function. When you live with someone then that means that you are most likely going to have to talk to them at one point. This causes a bit of a problem with the no contact rule which strictly forbids contact with your ex in anyway shape or form. While you can still abide by the rules of not responding or sending texts, phone calls, facebooks or skypes to your ex the face to face contact bit may be a little hard to get around since you will probably see this person a lot until you get a new living situation figured out.
So, the question on the table is how do you approach a situation where you are forced to interact with your ex boyfriend face to face. As a general rule I have always said that it is best to act like a respectful roommate would act. In other words, don’t be rude or mean to your ex just give him very casual answers to the questions he asks.
If he throws a hissy fit because you won’t engage him on this topic you simply remove yourself from the situation. So, I guess what most of you ladies are wondering is if it is ok for you to break a no contact rule (that you have already committed to completing) just to wish your ex a happy birthday. Hmm… how can I get this through your head so that you understand once in for all if you can break NC just to wish your ex a happy birthday or whatever holiday is coming up. There is one main reason why I think it’s dumb to wish your ex boyfriend a happy birthday or holiday during NC.
In other words, wishing your ex boyfriend a happy birthday isn’t really going to help you in what you really want to have happen, him taking you back. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.


What if my ex bf still don’t contact me after the 30 days or more of no contact rulr what should i do?
Two weeks ago, he had minor surgery, during the first week, he texted me all day, all the days.
OK, I try again to make it shorter, since I see other posts with yesterday’s date being answered and mine still waiting for moderation. 3) I don’t know if we (he) broke up, i got a (possibly) drunken mail threatening with break up under certain conditions. 6) When that turn happened half a year ago, I gradually lost my free spirit and became a creepy, clingy, nagging girlfriend. He tried to contact me on every possible channel on the first day (or rather day zero, within hours after his mail and text). And we have a lot of friends and acquaintances in common, should I avoid them when he is not with them?
Hi I’m doing the NC rule but after 6 days my ex tried to contact me and I ignored him. Before we get down to the nitty gritty on how to determine if your ex still likes you there are two things that I need you to accomplish.
I want you to take some time and figure out if you have a legitimate reason for wanting your ex boyfriend back. Now, I bet you are wondering what any of this has to do with figuring out if your ex boyfriend still misses you, I assure you it is really important.
Ok, no matter who broke up with who, how bad the break up was or how much you think he hates you I can assure you one thing… he is thinking about you. Sign 1- If He Calls, Texts or Messages You Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
We already know that he is thinking about you but if he actually takes the time to text message you or call you then you should feel really good about yourself because he is definitely showing interest. While you are supposed to be avoiding your ex both physically and mentally for 30 days there are certain cases where it is impossible to do so. Ex boyfriends who are possibly interested in getting back together will keep in touch with your friends or family. I may lose some man points for this but one of my favorite movies to watch is Hitch (where Will Smith basically plays a love doctor.) There is a scene at the beginning of the movie where he points out that one of the signs that a woman will show, if she is interested in a guy, is touching. HI, My boyfriend and i broke up about 6 weeks ago, when he dumped me he said he love me alot and he will always love me but he cant be be with me , after completing the no contact period he called me and said he wanted to talk to me, i allowed him to see me and all he said was hes really sorry for leaving me and hurting me but he still can not be with me..
Hi, I’ve unblocked him so should I just wait to see if he tries to add me back on everything?
My advice for you is to get help from the internet, when i had a big divorce problem with my hubby i got in contact with Dr Amigo the online love spell healer and he restored my marriage back on track and today i am happy again. 2016, my husband’s family and his are so close that they are always in our home every weekend. I think he thought you were going back to being busy and he got afraid but that could have just been settled with a talk instead of going out with somebody else.. My ex broke up with me, we lived together for a yr, he started dating this girl and still messing aroumd but when he sees me he dodges me, he saw me with a guy once and flipped out?
I want him to move on from the pain, so he can remembers all the good things but not to move on and forget about me. We here at Abnormal Use have set up a Facebook page for our blog content, which you can find here.
Now, when I first started this site I didn’t mind answering the same questions over and over again because for me it was mind blowing that so many people wanted advice from me. However, if you aren’t then I would like to take a small moment to let you in on what it is. You understand the basic principle of no contact but midway through your no contact a situation arises and you don’t know how to handle it. So, if you can think of any other situations (that can occur during the no contact period) then make me aware of them in the comments section and I will update this page to answer them. So, since you don’t know what the no contact rule is I am going to give you a quick crash course. Obviously after the break up you are very heartbroken and you take to the internet to find a way to get your ex back. Well, sometime throughout that year I am assuming that you stayed over his place for the night or left some of your things there. So, exchanging items after a break up is a very common situation you could find yourself in if you are in the middle of the no contact rule. Well, in this case I think we can make an exception and break the no contact rule so you can get them back.
If he tries to talk to you about your relationship with him don’t engage him with it at all. In other words, he is basically saying that even if he met a girl with the best personality in history he still wouldn’t date her if he found her unattractive.
Of course, this is kind of thrown out the window if you work with your ex since you will be forced to either see or interact with him on a daily basis. In other words, the only type of interaction you should have with him should be about work. Before you read on I want to make you aware that I have written multiple guides specifically covering what you should be doing to get your ex boyfriend back if you do have a child with him here and here. I mean, he still does have a right to see his son since he has been a very good father to him. Well, when you have a child with your ex you have to keep things strictly about that child.
If you feel your ex boyfriend is like this don’t even engage in an argument with him.
In fact, a part of you may hope that your ex feels so sorry for yourself that he rushes over to your side and tries to make you feel better. He is probably expecting you to sulk around the house, sit in a corner, cry and do everything in your power to try to get his attention. So, somehow having a man think that he didn’t mean as much to you as he thought he did is going to make you more attractive in his eyes because deep down he wants to be the most important person in your life. You want to respond to all of his questions in a very upbeat manner without going into a lot of detail.
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN YOU BREAK THE NO CONTACT RULE TO WISH YOUR EX A HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR A HAPPY HOLIDAY.
We just started NC, but theres one glaring issue: we are both part of the same super close friend group.
And what if he’s also waiting me to contact him first since i was the reason why he brokes me.
With his depression I became depressed too, I’m like a shadow of myself now, thinner and thinner, the world loosing colours etc. First tried to call a few times, then a text (and it was his first text, perhaps this was the first thing he did when he opened his eyes after that night) about being sorry for texting me in the middle of the night. This page is going to take an in-depth look at each specific sign and give you an idea on how to proceed if you decide you want your ex boyfriend back.
As a general rule, couples who get back together after a break up tend to have really good reasons for doing so. Experts agree that in order to put yourself in a good position to win back your ex boyfriend you need to cut yourself off from them for at least a month. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that all your troubles are over and you can run back into his arms and the world will rejoice. If you notice that your boyfriend keeps popping up in places that you frequent then this is a definite sign that he still has feelings for you.
When we broke up he said he still loved me but he needed time for himself to work on himself and be free and he said he just felt like he couldn’t make me happy.
We were about to get married but we both freaked out and been fighting for almost a month before the break up. He (33) me (32), LDR between Europe and USA, for 4 years (we know each other since 8 years now). During this time, I think he applied on me the NC (I didn’t recognize it until couple weeks ago, when I started looking for help how to find a way to get back with him. Our break-up was horrible (for both of us), the post break-up time was then even worst, because we were constantly fighting on the phone. The problem is that, he says he still loves me but when it comes to communicating in front of our friends… We just dont talk.
I tend to initiate most of the contacts but he always reply right away and in a positive way.
Now, this can be an incredible thing for the two people experiencing the relationship but for me, someone who is trying to help others by looking for trends, it can be quite annoying as there are so many situations that I have to cover. Luckily you end up on my website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, and learn about the no contact rule.
Of course, you did have a lot of amazing qualities outside of the clinginess and as time goes on your ex boyfriend begins to think back to those qualities.
By day 10 of this no contact period your ex begins to get a little antsy and decides to break the ice first with a simple little text message. So, by ignoring your ex boyfriend in this case you are essentially telling him that you don’t need him to survive. If you ex does try to talk to you about normal stuff like the weather don’t be mean to him. You are still technically in no contact and I don’t want him to think he even has a chance with you. In this case your ex has already contacted you which means he has deemed his things important enough to take back. I know a lot of experts would have you believe that all you need is an amazing personality to make a man yours but if I am being 100% honest with you I am not quite sure I believe that. Be nice with your answers to his questions but also don’t make your answers very long. In other words, if your ex tries to talk to you about anything else other than that child your job is simple, DO NOT ENGAGE HIM.
Of course, you do live with this person so your relationship is bound to pop up at one point.


This is how we met, and we still get together, have group chats and snapchats, etc, to the point where we really can’t separate ourselves from it. And if you need to reply to the group chat, just reply but don’t reply to his messages there.
We continued to talk via whatsapp but it became harder for me to get him to answered my texts. I didn’t text him back and then I found about no contact rule, and decided to try it.
He continued to text and I continued answering with short texts (3 in total, versus a lot from him). Oh, and I think it is important to mention that couples who successfully reunite with legitimate reasons last longer! Now, I do feel it is important to mention that sometimes it can just be a coincidence that they are at the same place that you are. I know how relationships work and I know that the majority of women reading this will not be able to hold out for 30 days.
If you aren’t picking up your phone they are going to reach out to friends or family to see how you are.
If you see your ex and he is maintaining some type of physical contact like touching your arm, hand, knee, leg that is a really good sign. When I suggested a break instead of a split he said he needed to feel like this was for good so it’s not playing on his mind.
None of us did anything bad, but he was terrible mean the day we broke up and said some hurtful things. Eventhough now my life seems to be perfect now (work, friends, etc) and I’m quite busy at work, and sociolizing aswell, but I know that I do want to be with him, sooner or later.
We loved each other very deeply, but when we moved in, things got complicated and probably too serious, he tried to broke up with me before during the last half an year, but then eventually we sticked together. We were high school sweethearts, dating since sophomore year of HS and we are currently in our freshman year of college. Just like the initial discussion over getting your things back this is strictly business and that business is just to get your things back. Of course, he does leave a voicemail on your phone and curiosity gets to you so you decide to listen to it.
It is possible that in the morning he noticed the drunken text he sent in his phone… Although, of course later he probably discovered the mail too. I feel that was always the one saying sorry even when it was not my call, I did whatever he asked me 90% percent of the time. What I mean, is that since we are dealing with a male human being things can be a bit….
If you are staying true to the NC Rule (No Contact Rule) then you greatly increase your chances of having him contact you in some way.
So, in the event that you break down one of the best ways you can determine if he still has those deep feelings for you is watching how he reacts when he sees you. Since this is a website specifically for women who want to get their ex boyfriends back I can tell you that there is so much information on this site for FREE that you will be blown away. Over the course of several weeks, things got more serious: saying I love you very often, intimate Skype calls. I asked him to let me go because the relationship give me more pain than happiness but he still comes to my office and somehow tease me like holding my hands and kiss me on the forehead. After the break up he told me that I was the best girlfriend he have ever had and that he hopes that I find I nice guy eventually, but then he goes and blockes me from Facebook and snapchat. He said he hadn’t been happy the last two years because I was spending to much time at work, which was true, I did not contact him for two almost three weeks. He left me 2 months ago because he was under a lot of pressure and stress due to external factors. He called me countless times, my family, friends, work, came to my place twice, tried to contact me on every channel. I ended up clingy, miserable, masstexting, calling, mailing and asking for more all the time. Don’t be I actually wrote a huge post that defines what a good reason is and will even give you some examples here. The only thing is you can’t contact him back which is explained if you read my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. This can be a little tricky to determine but I will go ahead and give you some things to watch for.
Of course, there are some cases where an ex will keep in touch with your family just to annoy you but you can usually tell in those cases.
About three weeks in there was talk of a 10-day trip together and what might go on after that (i.e.
Were meant to go to Greece for a week exactly two months from now and he obviously said he doesn’t want to go. We were fighting way too much (in this time he had lots of stress because of his carreer and I was feeling left by him, and couldn’t really adapt to his environment). He even told me I am a good friend and he will miss me but i texted him to stop doing this because it will be hard for me to forget him and that good friends dont kiss. When I did it was so great we had such a good time he kept telling me how miserable he was how much he loved me and missed me and really did want to marry me (he asked me to marry him a year ago). After that we tried NC, but after one week because of mine bad health condition we got in touch and since then he wrote me to check on me and we met several times. Last semester was such an emotional roller coaster; he told me numerous times that he was having doubts of whether we should be together or not, that he was unsure if he wanted this anymore. So, there may be some rare cases where your ex could exhibit many of the signs below and yet he still might not be interested in you. It is for that reason that I am highly recommending you to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. I know this is a very short amount of time but is there anyway that I could get him to change his mind because weve already paid and I really want to go. If after nc he responds well, then build rapport and attraction through texts and calls so that trip will be like your meet up stage.
I mailed him on his Birthday (no response) , another E-Mail with his tickets i still had ( no response) and a week later he send me money.
Comparing to my behaviour after our break-up I was surprised how patient I was while we saw us now.
Which was sometimes positive, then confusing and then we got into a little bit an argument and he told me that he doesn?t love me anymore. Don’t worry though, everything that is on this page has been thoroughly researched and is a compilation of many of the best relationship experts advice and findings.
Obviously, you want your ex to be thinking very positive thoughts when it comes to you as it will make getting him back a lot easier. She was also texting me several times a day asking if I loved her, if she was the only one (she was), if she was till my girlfriend, and so on. I probably have to work on myself before we can be together again because of my currently extremely low self esteem but I’m so sorry for him and so sad and miss him terribely.
While I can’t guarantee anything, I think it is a safe bet to assume that if your ex is doing the things below he is probably interested in you. With that being said, even if your ex thinks you are the anti-christ there are certain things you can do to change his mind. I tried on at least one occasion to say I thought it may be moving too fast, but any time I expressed the least bit of hesitancy, that seemed to jump right into “you’re breaking up”. I decided to break up with him the Thursday before Easter and although he was crying, he said I was doing the right thing. Besides, right after a breakup both parties are angry at each other so there isn’t much positive karma going around is there? I asked him why he said that and his reply was that he loved me…but not in the way a boyfriend should.
She has a boyfriend to use as a jealousy tool (that’s literally what she does with him), while I gave up seeing most of my friends most of the time, not to make Him jealous. At first, I was completely caught up, as it was very exciting, but soon it all felt a bit overwhelming. And then he did something again, I was fetching something in the kitchen and he knew that I was there.
My sister showed me their texts and she asked him if he still loved me romantically, he said he loved me, but didn’t clarify HOW, but was unsure if he wanted to get back together.
OK, more like, I was a jerk and fired off the “I need some time” letter, in which I told that is was becoming too much for me and I that don’t love myself very much. The one thing which kept me so strong not to fall in his arm or say anything “needy” was that he is in this new relationship since 9 or 10 months!! I’ve had long standing body image and people pleasing behaviors bordering on codependency and felt like I needed to go to therapy to get myself together (which is 100% true, I’ve functioned at a low level depression with deep spikes down on occasion), and that I shouldn’t be with anyone.
This drunken mail happened the night after we had this fight and he accompanied it with a text so that I could wake up and see what he wrote.
I fully understand the letter was a massive douche move, I just didn’t know what else to do. After a few days, with some help from native language speaking friends, we seemed to work it out, she wanted to be with me while I worked on my issues. I applied the NC but he called and called and called and he reached out to my family and friends to know if I was ok… everybody was worried because he sounded so worried (I never did NC before no matter how hurt I was I was always the one making peace, under any circumstances). During a long texting session back and forth, I reiterated that I felt like I needed to seek therapy for my issues and I didn’t think it was fair to ask her to wait for me. I went to work, and got some special treatment with friends and sports and arrived home very late at night, until when he had looked for me twice at my place and called everybody. I’m afraid he was just worried but not because he wants me, just for some other reason. I cried again and I couldn’t resist and sent a msg about how well he had chosen the date of our anniversary for this.



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