Well, I wrote a book that is almost as long as the very first Harry Potter book and it talks about the no contact rule exclusively. IF you can break it…Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
As stated above, it is basically an agreement with yourself that you are going to cut your ex out of your life for a certain period of time.
So, we have already established that in order to do a NC (No Contact Rule) correctly you are going to have essentially cut your ex out of your life for a minimum of 30 days. You may find that as you embark on this essential 30 day freeze out from your ex that they may try to initiate contact with you.
You didn’t think you were just going to sit around on the couch all day catching up on re-runs of Friends during this time did you? The smartest thing that you can do during NC is to improve yourself both mentally and physically.
Becoming the sexiest version of yourself is only half the battle when it comes to taking a positive step towards getting your ex back.
Prepare yourself for the fact that there is no guarantee that you will be getting your ex back. In this section we are going to study some of the major benefits to implementing a NC rule immediately after your breakup. You might learn after some soul searching that you don’t want to get back with this person again. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.
My ex broke up with me after we had a massive fight and we even had the worst horrible fight right after the breakup.
My relationship lasted about two months – we got along extremely well and I developed very strong feelings in that time but he broke up with me prior to his move overseas.
What do I do about snapchat please – if I put things on my story he can see them, and if he sends me things directly do I open them? Lets see quick background summary we went out for over a year and after the break up were back and forth. I’ve started yesterday no contact but I have some unresolved issues in what regards material things like sharing the same cellphone plan.
My ex broke up with me about a month ago and blocked or deleted my number then after contacting him via social media begging and pleading he told me he needed some time , 3 days later he contacted me positively I ended the conversation the next day I contacted him and then he ended the conversation now it looks like he’s blocked me or deleted my number? Lately, I’ve had a lot of women coming to me and asking if they can use Facebook in any way to get back with their exes. According to a recent study conducted by a Western University student completing her Master’s thesis nearly 9 out of 10 Facebook users keep an eye on their exes profiles. I wanted to create a page on how you could best optimize your Facebook profile to give yourself the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back. Speaking of getting your boyfriend back, I would like to clear up some confusion about this page. In this section I am going to talk about some of the things you can do to improve the chances of your ex stopping by your profile.
Do not contact him via Facebook- Not only could this be viewed as desperate but as you are about to find out, actually not contacting your ex is a smarter strategy. Implement A No Contact Rule- I actually recommend doing this in almost every situation to get your ex back. So, I want to take a moment now and discuss how important the no contact rule can be to your Facebook efforts. By essentially ignoring your ex boyfriends texts, you have forced him to come over to Facebook and check your profile out. The key point I am trying to make here is that your Facebook profile is a reflection of you. I am going to be completely honest with you, using Facebook to get your ex back isn’t ideal. Here is the deal, if I find the girls I chose to be attractive then you can bet your ex boyfriends would be as well. I ended up choosing 20 women, I will not be giving you their names though so don’t go fishing around here because you will be disappointed.
I am not kidding when I say that, the mock story I told above (shout out to Rick ?? ) is exactly how 99% of men operate. Why would you even give an ex the satisfaction of knowing that his actions are hurting you? And since I am the voice of the average male, I think it is safe to say that your ex boyfriends would also find these women and their active social lives attractive as well.
Now, it is probably important to point out that there is a right way to display your social life and there is a wrong way to.
Photos where you are out on a boat with a group of people and showing off your hot body in a bikini ;). I hope by now I have convinced you that the chances are very high that your ex boyfriend will be visiting your profile at some point in the future. There is nothing really more I can do to try and prove I’m doing well without him is there? Life is too short to spend SO MUCH TIME on the Internet (FB and other social media debacles) when most people have lost touch with the world and reality. 30 months to the day after I initiated no contact (with someone I never thought would have the balls to contact me after he ghosted on me) he did. I took the advice of the moderators and the website and just ignored him liking my fb posts about my personal achievements over the last month (it was difficult and infuriating ) . I haven’t responded to him contacting me because the one thing no contact has given me is distance and clarity . When I do respond I’m just going to act like nothing happened and be nice and short .
Hey Chris, I made a mistake of messaging him a few days and then it ended up turning into a call, at first it seemed like nothing happened and that we were still dating, then he got angry when I asked if he was feeling better (happy) then he said i got to call you later. It depends, adding him and then doing nothing can just leave him thinking or maybe he’ll just shrug it off or message you after that. No contact after a breakup, also known as the no contact rule, is advice routinely passed on to men going through a breakup in order to help them get started in their recovery process.
Perhaps she’s even giving you mixed signals, at times pushing you away and at times wanting you near. No contact is about accepting that you are no longer connected to your ex-girlfriend and letting go of the connection you once shared. No contact is about you deciding that you are going to take measures to no longer to get hurt by maintaining a relationship that hurts you more than it does you any good.
But you must realize, on a rational level, that further contact with them will cause more negative feelings and feed into a negative spiral. No contact is so hard because your body is craving for interaction with your ex-girlfriend. The scientific explanation is that you’re feeling withdrawal symptoms to a love addiction.
Renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher did an experiment where the brain activity in recently dumped college students was monitored while they were given pictures of their exes to look at.
And then you end up in the now, as a better, happier and more present version of yourself, ready and able to make more of your life. In these three months i realised that this woman treated me like dog**** and i let her get away with it to often. And then out the blue she contacts me wanting to be friends, you have to realise this woman could have any man she wants.
All i can say, is that i dont regret the relationship coz i grew up a lot and learned a lot from it, and i hope i will never make the same mistakes again.
It is possible to move on, for me personally it boils down to cutting off all contact with her. She always talked of marriage and children, and I had convinced myself that all I get is 1 shot, so no matter how bad it scared me to think of these things at 20 years old, and having been with no one else, I had to accept it.
Filed Under: Dealing With A Breakup 157 Comments About JesseI've been helping guys recover from their breakups since 2012.
My girlfriend dumped me a week ago for another guy,i was terrified to the point of taking my life. We have been together for two and half years now,we have gone through difficult times a relationship can go through but still survived.I had given this girl my all,I have a good career and been supporting her emotionally and financially,because we met on campus and we have really endured a lot.
He said maybe he Will go back to his country for good and I just said.what ever makes you happy I am also happy for you. My lover dumped me for any another woman, and i was divorce by my husband with my two son after 8 years of marriage, and also i reallvy love him, so i contacted Doctor Akim for a love spell to get my Husband back, to my greatest surprise he cast a love binding spell to get him back for me and my lover came back after 48 hours.
If one chooses, tends toward the latter then indeed it is you that has the ‘anger issues’ for sure! Fill your life up with nice things and one day you will look back and wonder why you put yourself through this. What is your advice in regards “no contact” when faced with a different situation which involves wanting the relationship back again? No contact helps you differentiate between what feels good short term and what feels good long term. It’s normal to have second thoughts, especially if she seems to have moved on to some degree. One of the caveats of contacting your ex is that now it becomes very hard to not to expect some sort of response.
Realize that there is no point in obsessing over things which you cannot control, your ex her choices being one of them.
As of last night she became very short, and today – the big day where she was picking up her stuff – you could feel the hate just dripping off of her! I know the only way for me to survive this type of scenario is to distance myself as quickly as possible. Anyway, I’d like to thank Jesse for this wonderful site, along with everyone who may offer any advice. In general when two people interact, one person is reacting more to the other person, than the other way around. In other words, this difference in reaction intensity is testament to an underlying value differential.
Now, when you switched from accepting guilt, to not reacting, you’re suddenly putting yourself first. Unfortunately my action of withdrawing when she lost the plot probably didn’t help much either.
I want to take the opportunity to personally endorse Jesse and his therapeutic coaching methodology.
So if you want a much clearer picture of how this all works I recommend you check that out. Remember, your goal with a no contact period is not to become a jerk so there is no reason to use it that way.
However, if you know for a fact that your ex became less attracted to you over the course of your relationship you can work to change that.
In fact, you could make the argument that the mental side of things during the no contact period is even more important than the physical side. Hopefully this section will make you realize the true importance of not talking to your ex for 30 days. The no contact rule isn’t just a psychological tactic to getting your ex back it is also a way to ensure that you have time to properly heal. I am sure you have met one of these types of couples that break up every few months only to get back together again after a few weeks. Prior to the breakup, he became noticeably distant, much of which I attribute to him mentally transitioning to his new life in a new country. I hung up the phone and texted him some questions, he replied and said that he did not want to talk to me anymore.

It used to be one of the things we used lots (Long Distance) and until a week ago when I asked him to stop taking snapshots of pictures of me (!) we still used it quite a lot. He graduated college a year ago and has been working, while I’m still in school where we met.
Then I finally gave up on him and then we tried being friends but I gave up on that also due to why and feelings.
My ex wanted to remain friends after the breakup (BU because not ready to commit), and said that down the line when he is ready and if we both still have feelings for each other that we would get back together, but I want him to realize what he is losing before he moves on and it is too late, would I use NC for this?
I will admit that when I did all the research for this site it never occurred to me to dive that deep into the ex recovery process.  I did think about it but I never really thought it was important enough to research.
Since I am a guy I have a pretty good idea on what the perfect Facebook profile should look like to give yourself the best chance to reignite your exes feelings and ultimately get your ex boyfriend to come back to you. I want you to remember that this page is dedicated solely on FACEBOOK and how you can use it to improve your chances of getting your ex back.
Unless you completely skipped the first few paragraphs of this page then you know that there is pretty much a 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is stalking your profile ;). However, you need to start looking at Facebook as a tool that can be used to further your chances of getting him to have those romantic feelings towards you again.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
Obviously, the no contact rule is exactly what it sounds like, having no contact with your ex boyfriend for a set amount of time (usually 30 days.) The question is, why is it so important when it comes to Facebook? Figuring out how to become the sexiest version of yourself that ever existed and NOT contacting your ex no matter what.
I could give you all the rules about how to approach the situation but it isn’t ideal.
Nevertheless, I like to think that I am a pretty good indicator of the average guy (or in this case your ex boyfriend.) I decided that the best way to approach this was to go through the friends on my personal Facebook profile and jot down some of the women that stood out to me. I don’t think it takes a genius to recognize how important your profile picture is to catching someones attention. When I go through my friends pictures there were some women who had profile pictures that rivaled this one.
As I go back I count three women who I chose for this case study who employed that very method.
Yes, it’s space, its actually kind of pretty but it is a completely missed opportunity. While she didn’t have the best profile picture I think she knocked her cover photo out of the ballpark. Men are very visual oriented so while all that other stuff matters to us the first place we go is to check out your other pictures.
That is a really bad thing because it means he is in a position of power and he knows that anything he does is going to have a certain amount of sway over this girl.
This means, if you don’t have an active social life I think it is about time for you to get one.
Not only is that poor taste but your ex will view you as trashy and once you get that label it is really hard to shake it.
Then after the call we started messaging back and forth joking around and then another call started. I want to start off by saying that I am a big fan of the no contact rule, simply because it works. It is not a weapon you can use to wage war with your ex nor does it magically inject happiness into your life. How they respond or interpret your decision to sever communications is their business, not yours.
Some guys haven’t reached their tipping point and are still holding on hope of reconciliation. You have to realize: the very thing you used to rely on for comfort is now the source of discomfort. Researchers have identified similarities in the way love affects your brain to the way a cocaine addition does. But as soon as the love is not reciprocated, the addiction changes from a positive, constructive force, to a negative, destructive one. Turn out viewing a picture would light up their brains like fireworks, eliciting a strong emotional response. How are you supposed to never talk to or see this other person again, when you still long for them? Once you’ve completed 30 days, try another 30 days, or even go for a 60 day no contact rule. Thinking of her that way implies ownership, whereas people we were involved with do not belong to us or own us.
It’s about you calming down, recovering, feeling better and letting go that relationship. By deciding to stop the harmful process of maintaining contact with her, you have made a conscious and targeted decision to remove that stress from your life. I didn’t eat or sleep for two weeks straight, the situation was made much worse as we ended it on an argument. Click here to get notified when my book "The Breakup Recovery Manual For Men" gets published. Compassionate,empathetic but willing to give you the kick in the pants some of us guys need to get in the here and now! This is an important turning point in your life, this is your launchpad to your rich, confident future.
Let me explain…I dumped my gf one week ago, sadly not for the first time btw, due to circumstances in the relationship. You see, rather than focusing on all the good times and the positive attributes she brought to the relationship, I am thinking of the reasons why I would walk away in the past to gain needed space. I’ve done great so far, but just one day of weakness may cause it all to come crashing down, ya know?
Her attempts to guilt trip you are part of a women’s natural arsenal of relationship-shit-tests. Can you explain what you mean by if you still want her back, your not committed to no contact? The relationship was always volatile mainly due to her insecurity, moods and anger and occasional violence. I also lost it with her recently and gave her a load of abuse by txt when she stopped out drinking and elected to stay out all night. Back in June I was devastated to have my wife leave our relationship and run off to be with her ex boyfriend . Even if you understand it, and agree with it, you may want to be with the ex you remember, or with your ex plus all the old feelings. You have some limiting beliefs about this situation that are irrational, and you need to dismantle them.
If you find yourself in these situations and ONLY IN THESE SITUATIONS you can break your no contact agreement but there is a certain way you have to act. While this situation may suck it certainly isn’t impossible to cut off a significant portion of your contact with them. Well, by doing this you are going to have to start your NC period over again FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.
This is a perfect time to improve yourself which is exactly what you are going to be doing during this time. When talking about physical changes during the NC period you should aim to become the sexiest version of yourself. By now you should realize that the NC rule is important even if you aren’t trying to get your ex back because it will force you to focus on the most important thing, YOU! Taking a break from your ex for a minimum of 30 days will give you time to calm down and think more rationally.
It’s interesting, because it allows you to essentially turn the tables on them and gain control over the situation.
Someone who feels so strongly about their ex goes on the 30 day freeze out period and after the 30 days are up they realize that they have no desire to get back with this person again.
I just want to know if this happens, is she worth enough to me to give this relationship another try?
He said we were in different places in our lives and he needed to be independent and be able to make tough career and life decisions without worrying about disappointing me. There are still a lot of things you can do to improve your chances of getting your boyfriend back.
The second thing is pretty self explanatory but lets take a moment to focus on what you can do physically to become an uber hottie!
So, from this point on I am going to be defining how your Facebook profile should look like to him when he comes stopping by. I want your profile to not only make your ex go “WOW” but I want other guys to give you the attention you deserve!
Let this be a lesson, women who went the extra mile with their profile picture will catch a mans attention. In fact, when I was pre-writing this page I almost skipped the cover photo section because I thought it was insignificant. Now, most women I speak with think that Rick will read their wall, see if they are single or see how many guys are commenting on their status updates. I want you to look amazing in all of your pictures so by the time your ex comes around his jaw will literally hit the floor.
Well, I am one of the few men that could actually tell you that because I deal with so many women on a daily basis.
Think about that for a second, I went out searching for women that I straight up found attractive and each one looked like they were having a blast in their photos with friends. He continued the joking around and then I asked him what is with all of the mix messages lately? Their goal is to get back with their ex girlfriends, and in that case, the no contact rule won’t help you. You are now, all of a sudden, an addict displaying some of the worst and most intense withdrawal symptoms, longing for another hit of the addictive substance: your ex gilfriend. The no contact rule was a blessing, it gave me time to realise that even if she re-initiated contact like i thought she would, there was no way i was going to take her back in any way. Which in all honesty makes me so happy in an evil way, she knows there is no chance we will ever get back together as i am moving to another country nextweek. She always created doubt in our relationship, always was super jealous if I went to hang out with friends, and generally dragged me down. It is also plausible that he’s using the situation to play the victim card and to get you to meet up with him. Her seeking a new ‘happiness’ making another man potentially miserable OR dropping dead completely, ceasing to further exist at all? I did not send flowers btw, not the time for gifts in my opinion, but I did contact her thru email as face-to-face or a phone conversation was never gonna happen. Just remember, there’s no point in obsessing over things that are outside of your control (like her replying). I realize that I am far from perfect, but having my own issues with the relationship continuously passed over, ignored and not addressed by her would ultimately lead to failure anyways. Give yourself the opportunity to straighten out your thoughts with some sweet no contact time. I suggest you focus on that and do your best to make it impossible for you to contact your ex or vice versa. Only when you let go will you be able to commit to no contact, and the answer to your questions becomes obvious. I don’t want to spill to her how much I love her because I feel wounded by her, and for her to dump every last bit of the blame on me steals away any desire to offer her the slightest bit of comfort. Meaning that these signals, deriving from the primordial tribe life we were wired for, signal one person to be lower in hierarchy than the other.
And then slowly lose their attraction as the guy becomes more and more whipped in the relationship.

She needs to test you out throughout the relationship that you’re still in the independent minded guy she fell in love with.
I am practicing nc, but how I deal with seeing my former gf with her bf while in a social setting with lots of other people present? Humor inhibits anxiety and this helps associate lighter, positive emotions with the encounter in your brain. Something like “Hey, I understand that you might want to talk, but I think we both need to deal with this in our own ways. But no matter what I tell you in this article I know that there will be a certain percentage of you who struggle. I personally don’t agree with either of those assessments but then again each broken relationship is different and will require unique individual time frames. In order for this process to work you need to prove that you can go 30 full days without relying on your ex for a conversation. For example, if you let yourself go a little bit during the relationship then it would be wise to use your time getting in better physical shape. Obviously the positive mental changes is going to cover mental aspects but it will also help you understand the importance of not falling off the map socially.
With a month of free time away from your ex you can really get a lot done in the healing department. They are built by strong ones and the no contact period allows you the proper amount of time to start building that strong foundation again. I would consider this a huge impediment to repairing our relationship or just our channels of communication before his move.
I sent him a long Facebook message (he deleted me off of Facebook) and he still hasn’t replied to it. He started contacting me again and at first I did not reply then I did minimally and now he keeps inviting to hangout with his friends…. I have heard stories of exes getting family members phones to get a hold of you, showing up at doorsteps and even spamming your FACEBOOK!
That is really the most powerful thing that Facebook can do for you, paint you in the best light possible. The big thing I began to realize right off the bat was how important it is for you to take a close up of your face. However, my mind changed when I logged on to Facebook and started screening my women friends. The only missing component for her was that she didn’t find a way to make her great cover photo and her profile picture to work together.
However, I can tell you that if you use Facebook for jealousy in a tasteful and smart way the results can be tremendous. It was because of the long distance relationship since he lives in UK and I live in Singapore. But every time you get in touch it ends up in disaster – you try to get her back and she pulls away further. It goes against your very nature not to turn to the person that you were so intimate with, when you are upset. Anything painful will strike the same chord which was struck so violently when you broke up. You give yourself space to accept what has happened, where you are now and to let go of the feelings that were holding you back. I have learned so many things from these books, especially certain ones, and I am a better person!!
I manned up and took ownership for my part in the troubles of late and did apologize for my own actions, while at the same time not letting her off the hook for her own part in all of this. Of course, my preference is still to have the opportunity to work thru our differences as I do love her but its not something you can do on your own if shes not willing to listen and engage. It should be you, putting yourself first and acknowledging that no one person is worth all this pain.
She ends the relationship because she no longer feels attracted because she feel she now feels she’s higher value than him. As soon as you start accepting the blame, accepting her frame, this will create the value differential I was talking about. Mainly because she would go nuts if I even suggested meeting my mates after work for an hour or less and her hypocrisy is what drove me nuts. Practice this often enough and you’ll literally rewire your brain to respond more positively (post coming up on this). In my case I was anxious about this new guy and his friends making fun of me and people talking behind my back. Thus, this page is meant to teach you how to successfully implement the no contact rule so you can put yourself in the best position to get your ex back.
However, you also need to remember that you are creating a new life of which they are separate from (or you need to appear to be creating one.) Again, keep any conversation simple, short and pleasant. It can be especially hard when your heart is begging you to just pick up the phone and type a simple text message to your ex. Not only are the health benefits immense to getting in good shape but it can legitimately be a step in the right direction to getting an ex boyfriend or girlfriend back. Nothing is going to get accomplished if the both of you are constantly a word away from getting into an argument. If you are interested in a truly in-depth method to getting him back then I suggest you visit this page and this page.
So, if a lot of the attractive women I chose did something then you should probably do it too.
The thing that caught my eye the most was women who had the confidence to look at the camera for a close up. I don’t care how nice a guy is, somewhere, deep down, he is thinking shallow thoughts.
He saw the first picture she had to offer in her album and it did not paint her in the best light. Before no contact guys tend to have this irrational tunnel vision mentality where nothing else matters but her. But slowly you’ll come to understand that this new pain, has nothing to do with the old pain. You undoubtedly had some extraordinary and memorable times together in which you touched each other’s hearts. As you can guess, she is making me pay the price and says enough is enough and that she cannot continue in this relationship. I told her how I felt about her and that I was open to discussing resolution, however I do feel its time for me to go no contact at this point.
I came across this web site and took the steps to reach out to jesse and work with him one on one. While I’m almost over having feelings for her, how do I deal with verbal or nonverbal communication in an environment where eye contact, at the very least, will be next impossible to avoid?
This amount of time will give you and your ex enough breathing room to calm down and look at the situation more rationally. Unfortunately, by breaking NC you are losing power and control over your relationship which at this stage is a very bad thing. I know that is a horrible thing to say BUT if you truly want to get your ex boyfriend back this is something you absolutely need to understand. Of course, it is like hitting gold when you click on a girl who has a tastefully done profile picture and her cover photo reflects really positively on her.
However, not only did she miss on her profile picture but the cover photo made her profile unattractive to look at.
Nevertheless, I don’t think it was a mistake that I found women attractive who all looked like they had active social lives. The only time I deviated from the positive and I’m enjoying life social updates was when I asked for advice on a subject at uni. I want to take a moment and address these questions and hopefully leave you with a better understanding of the importance of going NC. You have become reliant on your ex girlfriend in some way, and by doing so you have divested an amount of your care and safety to her. It’s something in the present that concerns you, no longer what happened in the past.
The reason for the breakup is not really important anymore, odd enough, but I know deep down that we both love each other and this is not a favourable position for either her or myself. If she can also see the error of her ways and is willing to meet at some point, then that gesture and request will now have to come from her. It will be 2 weeks apart by that time and if she has not had a change in her position by this time then I doubt she ever will. His coaching helped ease the devastation I was feeling and he gave me methods and techniques to survive the storm I was feeling. She has said that she still has feeling for me, but she dumped me for another guy, two months ago, and apparently deceived him into believing that she was not in a relationship.
I’m just afraid if things get comfortable she would do this to me again… what should I do?
Rather than rambling on and on I am going to give you an example of what I considered a bad cover photo and a good one. I am sure that we both hate the thought of losing each other but yes I am being punished in a sense and made to rethink my course of action last week. I know we’re on the path that we need to be on, but I wonder if it’s right for me to not express anything at all to her like this?
I don’t find reasons to put myself down, or have to convince myself that things HAVE to be one way for someone, and not for me. I really do not expect things to change at this point but I do feel a sense of satisfaction that comes from both apologizing and laying the cards on the table with regards to my feelings for her. The thought of her going off into the world believing that she’s just spent eight years on someone who could let her go SO EASILY just breaks my heart.
I felt like I wouldn’t make it, felt empty, hurt so bad from betrayal and broken heart I wanted to curl up and die, and then time goes forward.
After I am done with my initial rant I decide to log onto Facebook to see if you are still alive. I truly feel that all that needed to be said has been said and for that alone I have no regrets now nor will I in the future.
Yes…it sucks without her and I truly do miss her and all but having your needs continually glossed over and unaddressed sucks too!
You will adapt,grow and find time eases the pain,it does not heal,but gives you the time to implement the tools required to survive and move on.
Honestly, I think he only uses messenger on his phone so he won’t see my Facebook at all.
You can definitely see this thing clearer than I seeing as you are removed from the situation and looking in so to speak. One who is more my contact but has ended our friendship (glad it’s over to be honest. Very poisonous relationship) and the other who is his friend and I only speak 5 words to every week due to classes.
So its not like I can use them to sneakingly send him information or even fathom them sending information to him. I’ve got 8 more days left of no contact and am feeling so much better than I was 3 weeks ago.

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Comments to «Why no contact works to get your ex back reviews»

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