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As part of this personality, he’s taken to wearing a short-brimmed hat when we go out to special occasions. Later in the evening, the musician playing next to our table saw we were enjoying his tunes. My boy used to wear a ring, probably in retrospect an early manifestation of this standing out from the crowd thing. But we wanted him to think it through and prepare himself for how he might be treated by the conforming masses might confront him. But I wanted to know how he would he handle it when the kids at school made fun of him or accused him of being gay because he wore earrings. We watch Modern Family and have lots of gay friends, so he knows being gay is great if that’s what you are. Third, if the earring doesn’t work for him, it can be removed, and the resulting hole is barely noticeable, and will close over eventually.
In the end, probably how you communicate your thinking and whatever your decision is, will be more important than the actual decision, in terms of your relationship. My only concern is his reasoning–wanting to stand out from the crowd or wanting attention. I appreciate your perspective, but I find it hard to believe that anyone is that narrow-minded these days about earrings in men.
I have thought about getting my ears pierced and I have thought about it even more after reading this.

My brother who we haven’t seen for a while and lives in another country sent me a message to say my son was very handsome but to tell him to take out the earrings.
Nothing wrong with that, of course, but kids can be cruel to anyone who is different for any reason. We don’t want to rush into it and want to give him time to decide this is really what he wants. Parents said that they would sign the consent form when the child wanted the same thing tattooed for a year. I’m worried that his openness to being different will be squashed by the intense pressure to conform that kids aged 10-15 are subjected to. Unfortunately what celebrities can pull off is often very different than what the average kid or adult can in mainstream Edmonton. There is nothing wrong with a boy getting his ear pierced once he is old enough to make the decision.
I don’t want to be mean and discourage him from it im saying it will be harder for him in the future.
Problem was, it never healed properly so I was constantly dealing with bleeding and gross ooze. I think the way you are handling it makes sense… and your boy has some good insight as well.
If he is just going it to seek attention and validation then that will be a habit or thought process that will continue throughout his life.

Its completely reversible and when there are way bigger issues you’re going to have to put your foot down on later this seems pretty trite. The idea, though, of making sure that this is a real desire, and not a whim, might be helpful to you. If he waits, he could avoid the taint that the pressure to conform will place on his style choice (if that makes any sense). The danger is that unkind words or lack of attention will greatly affect him in an adverse way.
Self actualization is hard for a ten year old, but maybe he can start learning his inner value and getting what he wants from that.
I made it harder for him by requiring that if he got them pierced, they had to be done at a tattoo and piercing shop. Aside from that, if he gets to the point where he just likes the look for himself, then that would be a great thing.

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