Mike let’s John know that he understands how John feels about the movie, but he then explains to John why he wants to see it.
This entry was posted in life lessons and tagged aggressive, assertive, passive, people, relationships, respect, teach by Tam Frager. 1. PASSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs.
As a result, passive individuals do not respond overtly to hurtful or anger-inducing situations. 2.   AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals express their feelings and opinions and advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of others. 3.   PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals appear passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way. People who develop a pattern of passive-aggressive communication usually feel powerless, stuck, and resentful – in other words, they feel incapable of dealing directly with the object of their resentments.  Instead, they express their anger by subtly undermining the object (real or imagined) of their resentments.
Assertiveness allows us to take care of ourselves, and is fundamental for good mental health and healthy relationships. If you have an idea for a podcast you would like to see or a question about an upcoming episode, e-mail me. Finding the middle ground between the two can be a tricky proposition, but with professional help from a psychologist you can achieve the right balance in your life.
Assertiveness is relating or communicating with others in a way that is respectful of their rights and feelings, and not offensive; yet at the same time, allows you to openly communicate your thoughts, feelings and opinions.
If you are passive in the way you communicate, you are probably too afraid of what the other party might think or feel – thus you withhold certain thoughts, beliefs and feelings which you feel might make the other party upset. If this occurs repeatedly over time, this can cause you to become depressed or anxious about relating to others. This might lead to others avoiding or not listening to you – which in turn affects your relationships and whether things get achieved at all.

It is highly probable that a lack of assertiveness has meant that you tend to go along with and agree with another’s thoughts and feelings.
On the other hand, being too aggressive can lead to the loss of relationships, or the inability to make new friends.
A trained psychologist is able to help you work through the interpersonal difficulties which stem from lack of assertiveness. People find that being more assertive allows them to feel empowered in life – they are more comfortable with who they are and their personal relationships. Furthermore, studies have shown that an increase in assertiveness is associated with feeling less depressed, and lower levels of substance abuse.
Joey Tai is an endorsed Clinical Psychologist, with a passion for helping clients to develop and maintain positive relationships. Please call 1800 877 924 to make an appointment or book Clinical Psychologist Joey Toey online.
Appointments AvailableAre you looking for a Brisbane Psychologist with Appointments Available Now?
I was shocked to discover that most people were confused about the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Prisoners of War (POWs) often act in passive-aggressive ways to deal with an overwhelming lack of power. Assertive training may also help one to recover the daily unpleasantness experienced at home workplace, school, colleges due to certain behavior exhibited by friends, teachers parents etc. What happens as a result of this is that your own personal communicative needs are not met, and this could lead to you feeling frustrated, disappointed or angry with yourself. Once again, this might lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment, and over time, develop into depression and general anxiety when relating to others. Once again, this could have a detrimental effect on self-esteem, as there is a tendency for the individual to blame themselves in these situations.

If you are tired of not being able to communicate effectively and need some help in being more assertive, now is the time to make a change!
He’s unwilling to stick up for himself, even about something as minor as which movie to see. But once they have reached their high tolerance threshold for unacceptable behavior, they are prone to explosive outbursts, which are usually out of proportion to the triggering incident. POWs may try to secretly sabotage the prison, make fun of the enemy, or quietly disrupt the system while smiling and appearing cooperative. You might focus on pleasing others, to the extent that you feel unfulfilled in your own life.
Appointments with our Brisbane psychologists are available from 8am to 8pm; including Saturday and Sunday. Our reception hours are usually 9am to 8pm Monday to Friday, and 9am to 4pm Saturday and Sunday. He also asks John if there is something he wants to see, which demonstrates he’s willing to consider what John wants to do. After the outburst, however, they feel shame, guilt, and confusion, so they return to being passive. These individuals value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others. Worst of all, this inability to relate to significant others may well have a detrimental effect on your personal relationships.
It also disrespectful to John, as it assumes John can’t handle a difference of opinion.

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