If you are feeling insecure in your current relationship, or find yourself attracting romantic partners that make you insecure, then this post is for you. If your partner, or past partner, cheated, emotionally or physically abused you, broke your heart or stole your identity, you have every right to feel to feel insecure.
When I stepped back and spent time with myself, exploring who I was, who I wanted to be and why I was so angry with myself (learning forgiveness along the way), I was able to feel more confident. If you find yourself feeling insecure and upset in your relationship it’s worthwhile to get an outside opinion from a professional.
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The truth is, insecurity about yourself plays out in any relationship, whether it’s romantic, familial or within a friendship.


I have felt insecure in my fair share of relationships as well, and after much of my own therapeutic work, I realized it was my relationship with myself that needed to be fixed, not my partners. No only did I know myself better but I knew what I wanted in a partner, when the time was right. In order to avoid feeling insecure, notice patterns about the people you are picking to be in your life. This puts you in the position to work for their attention and keep a tighter hold on the relationship, which only perpetuates your belief that you’re not good enough.
Taking time to figure out who you are and what you deserve from another person is necessary.
Your friends and family are likely biased, but a therapist or counselor could really help you develop a better relationship with yourself and your partner. Self-esteem can be easily destroyed by simple factors, but knowing how to control it you can easily boost your confidence! You have the the right to be in a healthy, secure relationship with yourself and with others.


Sometimes you get clouded by intense emotions or feeling like you have to appease someone else. Take time daily to check in with your feelings and how this relationship is a positive reflection of who you are. Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to read your mind. No partner I picked was perfect, certainly not, but I continued to dive into these relationships without first diving inward.



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