In fact, I have a quiz on this website and over 50% of girls have answered that they are ashamed of how they look. Ultimately, the problem is that we are trying to find teenage self esteem and worth apart from God. However, I do believe there are other influences in our culture today that also contribute to this emptiness inside us. Video Games and Body Image - are all those hours playing video games deepening the problem?
Body Image Lies Women Believe - Read 26 different stories from 26 women and learn how to overcome body image lies with God's truth. People with positive body image have the ability to be happy about the way they look and feel and are able to carry themselves with pride.
Mention ‘being popular’ to a group of grown women and they will each flash back to their own experience in elementary school, high school, college and beyond. The thing about popularity and trying to fit in with a peer group is that, in many cases, it isn’t sustainable by being a good friend. So how do we talk to girls about social status without pushing them into the popularity trap? The concept of the best friend can be a dangerous one because the expectations on this friendship are often too intense and can lead to dependence and, worse, bad break-ups. As Entin explains, it’s good for kids to maintain a variety of friendships in their peer group and to understand that each of these friendships fulfils a different need. Until our kids are adults, they are still struggling to figure out friendships, fitting in with peer groups, and social lives; you can play a big role in helping them to define what a great friend is and see the value of a solid and reliable friendship. Every time your daughter opens up to you about anything going on at school or in her life, see it as a window – your opportunity to get a sliver of information about her peer group and what really goes on in her world each day.
As parents, we often come to the table with our own social issues, body hang-ups and backgrounds.
The idea of popularity and the importance of fitting in often emanates from the parents rather than the kids. A person with positive body image does not have the urge to change any of their physical features in order to feel happy about themselves.
But for your daughter to be truly confident, learn how to talk to her about social status in an empowering way.


For someone to be in, someone else has to be out, and many of us were on the outside of peer groups looking in. Often it was something none of us would wish for our own daughters: fear, sacrifice, looking ‘right’ to fit in, and competitive socialising. How do you give your daughter the tools to navigate her social life and protect her self-esteem? When you are watching a movie with your child, see it as an opportunity to point out the social dynamics, particularly of groups of teenagers. One of the greatest challenges we face is to avoid projecting our own feelings onto our child. Her daughter came home from school and talked about some friends having laughed at her for sitting alone at lunch.
While her natural desire to fit in with a peer group might mean she ends up dressing like her friends, keep her talking about styles she likes and feels good in.
Many movies and TV shows glamorize popularity and this often has a significant impact on how girls see their own social lives. When a girl is raised in a loving and supportive home, she can be less likely to be influenced wholly by her friends.
There have even been reports of greater increases in levels of delinquency and drug use among popular adolescents.
Instead of one ‘BFF’, steer your daughter towards a peer group made up of a few ‘GFs’ – Great Friends. Steer conversations about her friends away from what they look like or how they dress, and ask what qualities your daughter likes about them. I had been observing Lauren and my daughter for weeks now and didn’t like the way my daughter was being treated.
Her daughter is a confident kid and was genuinely nonplussed by the incident, explaining that those were silly girls who she isn’t friends with. This natural, age-appropriate concern can happen prematurely if parents emphasise popularity and being well-liked over finding good friends – and being one in return.
Point out people who seem to follow others without thinking for themselves and find those that march to the beat of their own drums. Encourage her to slip a little individuality into her outfit – a quirky necklace, a T-shirt of her favourite band or shoes in her favorite colour, for example.


Protect your daughter by keeping a close watch on age-appropriate TV and movies and actively seeking out storylines with strong female characters. If she has sport friends, club or camp friends and theatre friends, her school friends should occupy less of her energy. When your daughter is involved in something she enjoys and is passionate about, whether it’s a sport or guitar lessons or coding, she is likely to have less time to obsess over not fitting in or the popularity game.
The healthiest social lives are often the ones centred on a close group of trusted friends, and yet many girls focus on fitting in and being the best liked, without regard for who is behind the liking. If your daughter comes home from school with a story, resist the urge to criticise and instead play narrator: “So, Suzy did that to Ava? But I bit my tongue and instead said: “If she makes you feel great about yourself inside, then I love her. Your goal is that as your daughter gets older, she comes to rely on you as a trusted advisor and a safe harbor should she face a problem. Yet Sandy was understandably heartbroken on behalf of her daughter, and though her instinct was to make a big deal of it, she took her daughter’s cues and moved on. Each peer group is likely to have less sway over her and she may benefit from the confidence that comes with having different social groups. Reminding her that she has a strong family that she can always count on is critical, as well as creating a structured reliable home and family rituals and traditions. Early on, the chase for popularity is not about being internally strong, it is about looking a certain way or having the right colour notebook. This puts an unhealthy emphasis on superficial qualities such as body shape, skin tone or hair style and can lead girls to emphasise their physical being over their internal one. Kids who focus on popularity when young set themselves up for a host of potential problems.



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