It’s the expectation of returned love that is causing you grief, not the fact of her not loving you back. Along the way to meeting our Beloved, we may experience a few Training Wheel Relationships. Learning how to love the unlovable or unavailable without harming ourselves or them is one of life's greatest treasures.
Author Information Anne Wade (119 Posts)Anne Wade is the founder and publisher of The Soulmate Dance. A key part of connecting with our Beloved is the process of opening ourselves to the possibilities instead of closing ourselves off. Out of kindness and love for this woman, honor her wishes that you refrain from even casual contact. From what you say here, chances are you are currently projecting your depression and desperation.
Instead of focusing on looking, focus on becoming the kind of loving, kind, compassionate man that is irresistible to loving, kind, compassionate women. I am kind by nature, all those who knew me think of me like their big brother, someone they can lean on in times of crisis, someone o step forward to lend a helping hand, after I read your comment I embraced this side of myself more, I thought maybe through helping the ones who truly in need of help,I do help myself in the process too, too overcome my loss. I also even fouced more on my talents and hobbies, which involve much creativity, I draw often,write and building all types of miniature realistic models, I even catchd up with all my must read books, I told myself Anne is right, if I can enjoy my life as it is, maybe if I achieved this, the need for a soul mate or a companion will be at minimum, I even increased my time in the gym, trying to learn more moves and challenge myself harder,just to test the boundaries of my own body, and I wish I can say it is worked, but it didn’t. I think this is my problem, Hope rised me so high when I found her, my dream lady, only to crush me again, it is not all about losing her, but it is about losing my hope too, I am thinking of talking to her again, but it dosent seem right or natural, is that it??
Souls do not know human time, though we keep trying to imprison them in our ideas about when things should happen. What if I never meet the women I was meant to be with, end up either with the wrong person or alone?


The key is simple – focus on growing yourself, healing yourself, preparing yourself and your Beloved will appear. You are giving control of your happiness to her and any time we look outside ourselves for fulfillment of any kind, we end up feeling emptier than before. Our relationships certainly enhance our lives and most of us want to be in a loving romantic partnership of some kind.
Chances are, we will genuinely love these people, but for some reason the pure flow cycle of giving and receiving cannot be completed at this time.
By expecting her to behave in certain ways to please you and make you feel good, you limit the possibilities for both of you.
She is a writer, educator, life coach, and lifelong student of soulmate relationships devoted to expanding our understanding of all types of soulmate relationships and experiences. And yet as you wisely say, imposing ourselves on them is truly a violation of their free will and not loving at all. Instead of saying that you will never have these feelings for someone else, switch your self-talk and begin telling yourself that if you have found one, then there are others out there and the next one will be more open.
That makes you an even better person and in no way means you are being someone you are not. It can feel awful, and yet it’s accepting the Truth about Life and Love that sets us free. The reason why it is so painful because you tie your desire for love to that woman and letting her go will feel terrible.
If you are attracted to someone who doesn’t love you back, it is likely that you are projecting your lack of self-love onto her. I too feel that I have met my soulmate, and although I am trying to accept just friendship, while letting her follow her own life path, it is not easy.


Even if you really truly deep-in-your-heart believe she is your Beloved, you must remember that she has free will. Perhaps you’ve received some valuable insight that can transform how you look at love and how you approach opening yourself to love. It simply means you are rising to the opportunity to honor and respect the wishes of someone you love and admire.
That means giving love in ways that are meaningful to the recipient and that is very different from giving love just in the ways we want to give it or giving love mainly with an eye to what we get in return. Yet the paradox is that the more we learn to love ourselves from the inside out and the less we need (note the word “need”) the love of others, the more love we receive from people who are willing and able to both give and receive love. Just as when you are learning to ride a bike, you may be able to pick it up and go again and again until you ride effortlessly OR the frame may be bent and it’s time for a new bike.
That act of kindness and love will ultimately come back to you, perhaps when you least expect and perhaps in ways you can’t imagine right now.
Learn how to respect boundaries in ways that make you feel strong, loving, kind, and compassionate. Every relationship is a soulmate relationship of some kind, and every one of them is valuable.



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