If the player looks to build confidence, then we must first discover the reasons why he hasn't any self confidence. Many are also too focused on fixing »wrong« things instead of »improving« their already good things that will eventually make the »wrong« things disappear. Most sports (and tennis included) have 4 main areas that a player needs to master in order to be a top player: technique, strategy and tactics, physical preparation and mental preparation – toughness.
Every player has some weaknesses in some areas – which are represented in the upper diagram as white areas – holes. The player may have a technically excellent backhand and can play every possible type of shot with it with good consistency, but his belief is that his backhand is poor. That results of course in fearful, doubtful, indecisive executions of the backhand shot which of course lead to poor results. So the player sees the confirmation of his belief in reality and thus reaffirms his doubt even more strongly.
There are two ways of getting rid of those limiting beliefs: affirming the positive side of shots and using logic to weaken the limiting belief.
The same principles of mind that made this belief will also be the ones that erase it and make new ones. I will put another article on this topic that will explain why players »break down« and how you can easily understand the process by using the diagram above. If you are diligent with this practice and write down every day just 3 positive things about your game, you'll have 15 positive thoughts about your game in just 5 days. If you then read these positive statements, which are not some out of the air affirmations but your actual notes, then you will feel a great deal of self confidence which will represent your inner strength. Most tennis matches are decided not by a better stroke but by a better tactical play and by a stronger mind.
I found that the more energy I extended to others, when I didn’t put enough towards myself, created a lot of negativity in my life.
Some would say a people pleaser is a doormat, someone who says yes when they really mean no, or doesn’t have the courage to speak their mind. This entry was posted in Boosting Self Esteem, Self Esteem Issues and tagged building self-esteem, confidence, dealing with low self-esteem, Emily Roberts, Healthy Place, how to increase self-esteem, how to stop people pleasing, increase happiness, low self-esteem, people pleaser. I would argue instead that being a people-pleaser is a symptom of low self-esteem, rather than a cause. This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information: verify here.
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Raising children is one of the most rewarding experiences a couple can share.  Two individuals coming together to love, train, discipline, educate, encourage and inspire a baby to mature into a functional and responsible adult.


MERRY CHRISTMASWill you let your children take you to court too?Mine, Yours and Ours, 3 Tips for Financial Unity in Marriage4 Ways to Say I Love You by Giving AffectionWhat Are the Old Patterns Doing to Your Marriage?
Tiredness, frustration,  not getting support right now, I will be the mean mommy who stopped play time, night routine is being interrupted – all are thoughts that ran through my mind.
It is a belief – trust – faith the player has about him being able to complete a task in the future successfully. If the player has done a good job – practicing hard and with 100% effort, has developed good sound technique, understands the game well and plays a tactically smart game and he thinks that all that is nothing or not very good, than he will not be confident about himself.
They see mistakes which may be there, but there are also many good points that the player has but doesn't notice them.
The last reason for not being really self confident about himself is the foundation of self confidence – self esteem. This is where his answer will be "no", the constant doubting questions that appear in his mind. The biggest problem for the player are his perceptions of what he is good at, which skills he masters and in which areas he can rely on himself. So even though in reality his backhand is good (he has no »holes« in that area) he believes that his backhand is poor (perceives a »hole«). We strive to keep peaceful relationships in our lives, balance, and often have a tendency to assist others in need.
When I would overextend myself with work or attempted to try and help out friends, instead of doing the things I needed to do for myself, over time it was exhausting. Others suggest that people pleasing is a strong desire to take action even at the expense of your own happiness or priorities.
Literally stop right now and think about the times you have said yes, when you really wanted to say no. If someone asks for a favor, it’s perfectly normal say that you’ll need to think about it or check your schedule.
Instead of committing to making 8 dozen cookies for a bake sale, ask if you can be responsible for something that doesn’t take up as much time – like bringing plates or napkins. Recognizing when it’s too much to handle or if you need assistance is a sign of someone who is confident and assertive. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
I knew motherhood would teach me patience on a new level, but the marriage lessons I have been getting from my son have been priceless.
Well I took the thoughts captive and paid careful attention to a small fire starter – called my tongue.
Read books on marriage and parenting, ask parenting tips from parents you admire, discuss and keep reviewing your parenting expectations and rules with your spouse and your children.


At 14 months old or at 41 years old, parenting will affect your marriage if you are not on the same page with your spouse.
What are some parenting tips you are using, or you have used that are beneficial for your marriage? He trusts in himself and his abilities which he perceives to be good enough to overcome the problem – challenge. A player has to work hard, has to be focused and persistent to be at least solid if not very good in all areas of the tennis game.
He must value himself as a worthy human being who is also a nice person, someone that people can trust and rely on, and someone who is successful in career, relationships and general life skills. I can tell you some of the boundaries we established form the start give us our bedroom, time alone with each other and much more. Just because you said “I do”, you don’t have the right to put your marriage on cruise control.
This is the first step to a true and deep feeling of confidence which is based on real facts – results.
If the player thinks about himself that he is no one special, that he has many flaws, he is not really a worthy person, then these feelings and beliefs influence his tennis self confidence too.
Even though he may be focused on a weakness which he is working on he must be alert and ready to see every good shot that he makes. He needs to focus on his best effort, how he fought with all the circumstances and never gave up.
This is the foundation of his self worth which affects his tennis specific self confidence.
Did you have some resentment or frustration towards the person or situation you were in, after the fact? Yet many married couples are not using physical touch as a tool to express love in their marriages. Tired wife chasing cute toddler son, getting frustrated at great husband for initiating play time during bath time. Do I really want to do this, or is it out of fear or pressure that I am thinking about saying yes?



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